The creatively titled Ben and Lauren: Happily Ever After, featuring former Bachelor Ben Higgins and his bride-to-be Lauren Bushnell, premieres on ABC subsidiary Freeform on October 11. It looks so...interesting!

If reports are accurate, Higgins sacrificed his political career for this, an undoubtedly worthy cause. In July, Higgins withdrew his Republican (duh) candidacy for the Colorado House of Representatives a week after filing due to “unforeseen circumstances”; a source told Entertainment Tonight that Disney served Higgins with an ultimatum: he could either pursue a political career or keep his position in the “Bachelor family”—not both. The Bachelor franchise, despite being very clearly chock-full of social conservatives, would never dream of alienating viewers with overt partisanship.

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The trailer above attempts to make Happily Ever After look fast-paced and exciting; if true, this would shock me to my core, as Ben and Lauren are two very polite pieces of half-defrosted gluten-free white bread. It’s cut so quickly that we barely have time to see their faces, with the exception of one dramatic moment when Ben tells Lauren with the half-smile of a man who is reading off a cue card: “There’s one big thing that you don’t know about me yet.”

Is there, Ben? Is there?