Because I want you to make the most out of your one wild and precious life, here is a short documentary on the history of vibrators, as well as a list I compiled featuring some fun, fun facts!

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The video, which was posted by the content provider Super Deluxe on May 29, features models from the Good Vibrations’ Antique Vibrator Museum located in San Francisco.

As promised, here is my compendium of choice tidbits to use as conversational fodder for your next dinner party:

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  • One of the first reported vibrators from antiquity was the brainchild of Egypt’s Queen Cleopatra, who in 54 BCE purportedly constructed a fun-stick by filling a hollow gourd with bees.
  • In 1890, a vibrator which could be operated by using a hand crank was known as a “blood circulator”; using it was thought to cure a number of diseases, such as tuberculosis, moodiness, and...wrinkled skin?
  • The Pneumatic Detwiller, which looks a little bit like this, could actually kill you. Powered by gas, the machine “ran like a jackhammer” and had the potential to explode.
  • Thank Claude, there was once a vibrator called the “Vibra King.”
  • In the mid-20th century, vibrators were once marketed as “beauty aids.” They came in pink and teal, naturally.
  • The only remotely relevant thing Hugh Hefner has ever uttered was his description of the Magic Wand, which he called the “Cadillac of vibrators.”

While I highly recommend giving the short doc a watch, there is, however, one sole stipulation involved: you will never look at Jello the same way again, and you will have very weird feelings about it. Trust me.