Lifetime has released the first cast photos from its upcoming 90210 and Melrose Place “telepics,” and—as always—they’re very unauthorized and very off the mark. The woman in the center of the photo above is supposed to look like Heather Locklear as Amanda Woodward, but I just don’t see it. I imagine she was cast after a Lifetime executive stopped her on the street and asked, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Heather Locklear?” She responded, “No. Who are you? And why are you photographing me?”

That trend continues with their 90210 cast:

The actress playing Jennie Garth is working for me, but everyone else is as wrong as the CW’s 90210 and Melrose Place reboots.

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But despite choosing their stars at random, Lifetime’s previous successes have proven there’s a market for these quickly produced and poorly written trainwrecks, so I’m sure plenty of us will be watching when they premiere this fall—a few weeks after The Unuthorized Full House Story.


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

Images via Lifetime.