The Game’s most recent Valentine’s Day-themed eggplant post on Instagram did not set out to become what might be the first work of art made entirely out of hashtags, but lo, behold: a mere dick print has somehow become an inadvertent (and admittedly somewhat imperfect) V-Day how-to for the V and a call-to-arms for men (and also some women) everywhere to literally get down, and it’s not even Eggplant Friday.

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Or, as it is now writ:”#ChocolatesAintGoneCutItThisYear” because “#YouDeserveAChanelBag.”

As we’ve reported before, The Game has been posting pictures of his own concealed “love pouch,” so to speak, since late last year, despite attempts to tear them down in violation of—well, for what, we’re not entirely sure. Despite this, the rapper has continued to post tasteful photos on his social media account, including one which prompted us to poll which one of his hashtags from his most recent gram was the be-all-end-all.

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But with The Game’s V-Day gift to us all, this poll might be obsolete. This hashtag game is different — this hashtag game was entirely curated to be hence known as Eggplant Post: Valentine’s Edition, a cupid’s arrow straight from the heart of a poet. We need to talk about The Game’s hashtag game (#GamesGonnaHashtagGame?). We need an entire day dedicated to parsing the narrative arc of this hashtag game. We need an entire Ivy League course dedicated to analyzing the Dada-esque imagery of this hashtag game (example: “#ShowEmHowASunnyDayCanTurnIntoAStormWitDatPussy,” because apparently, vaginas are excellent for predicting weather patterns?).

Most importantly, we need to highlight some of the best

Dear reader, some specific highlights to guide us towards true romance:

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  • #YouDeserveARoseForEveryHairYouShavedOffThatVajajay
  • #WhyCantYouFlossOnTheGramOneTime

AND

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  • #YouDeserveRosesABagSomeShoesAndYoPussyAteWhileLovesJonesPlaysOnTheTVinTheBackground

Haters and flaggers be damned, the guy DListed proclaimed as “the Shakespeare of Instagram” might have accidentally composed an ode to the peach, or even the next love sonnet to inscribe on your SO’s Valentine’s card.

Image via Instagram.