Jezebel: Halloween

A Sexy Reindeer, Dressed As A Bumblebee

Joshua Siegel — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:20:00 EST

Josh Siegel brings you animal art every Monday. Add your own requests in the comments, and maybe Josh will draw an animal for you. More »

Woman Welcomes Trick-Or-Treaters, Just 'No Blacks'

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:31:00 EDT

This Halloween a woman in El Paso, Texas posted a sign on her lawn that said, "No blacks welcomed to trick-or-treat," and shockingly, she isn't Ann Coulter (in that case the sign would have read "Only our blacks welcomed to trick-or-treat.") Marta Martinez says she put up the sign because black people, including her neighbors, are conspiring to take her semi-abandoned property. She's also been seen yelling racial slurs while brandishing a rifle in her yard, and posted another no-trespassing sign that references a law that allows homeowners to use deadly force to defend themselves. More »

9-Year-Old Badass Defends Her Right To Eat Snickers By Hurling Chair At Cop

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:05:00 EDT

Guess where this happened? Florida! Specifically Fort Myers. It all started because the bus driver told the unnamed fourth grader to stop eating candy on the bus. On Halloween! Come on. I think we all know that asking a kid not to eat candy on Halloween is like requesting that a junkie not do any herion when that junkie is high on heroin and surrounded by heroin on a holiday celebrating heroin. More »

Guys & Ghouls Rocked Frighteningly Creative Costumes At Heidi Klum's Halloween Party

Jenny Zhang — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:20:00 EDT

Full disclosure: I loathe Halloween from the bottom of my gristly, blackened heart. When I was younger, my parents and I hid behind our sofa in the pitch dark to avoid trick-or-treaters. As an adult, I still have major beef with this holiday, but usually keep my trap shut to avoid being called a spoilsport. But you know what is fun? The day AFTER Halloween, when no one is in costume, and I can spend the morning guessing what celebrities dressed up as for Heidi and Seal's annual Halloween party! In a surprising move for people who are worshiped for their physical appearance, the sexy (insert costume here)s were few and far in between. More »

Amanda Knox Dressed As A Highly Insensitive Cat Burglar For Halloween

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 10:25:00 EDT

Though Amanda Knox has been freed after serving four years in an Italian prison, some would rather not see her celebrate Halloween again, as roommate Meredith Kercher was killed on November 1. In response to photos of Knox heading to a party dressed as a cat burglar, Kercher's father said, "I think it's very insensitive of Amanda Knox, especially considering it is the fourth anniversary of Meredith's death. The anniversary is obviously a very difficult time for our family and images like this don't help." More »

Don't Let Your Pet Become A Trick-Or-Treat Casualty

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 23:28:00 EDT

In addition to worrying that your kids are chowing down on razor blade-filled apples tonight, you need to be concerned about your dog dying from going through your Halloween candy. Xylitol, a sugar substitute found in an increasing number of candies, is toxic to dogs and other some other pets. If dogs eat even a single stick of gum containing xylitol, it could cause a drop in blood sugar that leads to weakness, loss of coordination, and seizures. As most people know, chocolate isn't good for dogs either, so the basic message here is that your pet doesn't need a bite of your candy on Halloween, or any other night. More »

Woman Trapped In Anti-Abortion Haunted House

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:21:00 EDT

We guarantee that no matter who or what jumped out at you during a Halloween event this year, it wasn't as demented as what went down at Hell House in Pasadena, Texas. Linda Ybarra says when she bought tickets for herself and her 14-year-old son, she thought the church-run event was like any other haunted house, with "zombies, and ghouls and goblins." Instead, she was subjected to scenes depicting abortion and teen suicide intended to "lure people to Jesus." More »

Ten Super-Spooky Ghost Stories To Keep You Awake At Night

Anna North — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:00:00 EDT

We've read through your ghost stories and picked out ten of our favorites. Read on for tales of creepy photos, scary basements, a haunted daycare center, and one very, very unwelcome visitor. More »

Scary-Good TV: The Best Halloween Specials Ever

Whitney Jefferson — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 17:45:00 EDT

Halloween: The time of year when all your favorite TV characters don crazy costumes and become involved in totally nonsensical plots, just for the sake of a holiday-themed episode. I love bad television just as much as I love good — and as such here's a collection of the best/worst Halloween episodes the idiot box has offered us over the years. More »

Anderson Cooper Dresses Like Phil Donahue, Meets Phil Donahue

Whitney Jefferson — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 17:00:00 EDT

One of the perks of having your own talk show? Having the ability to coax daytime hosts of yesterday out of retirement, in exchange for a little praise and, let's be honest, an excuse to get out of the house. Today, Anderson Cooper did just that with the man he "grew up watching," Phil Donahue. I might have been just a little bit more entertained if Donahue had donned a tight black crew neck t-shirt and gone as Anderson Cooper for Halloween. Maybe next year! More »

Slutty Halloween Costumes: A Cultural History

Suzanne Labarre — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:35:00 EDT

Halloween was about sex before it was about "trick or treat," and the wonder is that we ever saw it any other way. More »

Someone Please Tell Courtney Stodden That Two Child Brides Are Not Better Than One

Whitney Jefferson — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:05:00 EDT

Well, it's official: 51-year-old Doug Hutchinson and his child bride, Courtney Stodden, win the award for Scariest Costume of the Year. Sure, Heidi Klum outdid herself by going as the combination of the Bodies exhibit and the dead bodies from personal nightmares, but somehow these images of Doug dresses as his bride — complete with oversized Sugar Daddy lollipop — take the cake for being fucking disturbing. Way to go, guys: you ruined Halloween for everyone. More »

Today Uses Halloween To Remind Us Of Extensive & Overdone Royal Wedding Coverage

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:35:00 EDT

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NBC ran weeks of royal wedding coverage this summer. Obviously it wasn't enough, since the entire cast of the Today show was dressed as the royal family this morning. Ann Curry was Kate Middleton, Natalie Morales was Pippa, Matt Lauer was Prince William, and Al Roker was Prince Harry. Hoda and Kathie Lee were Eugenie and Beatrice. Savannah Guthrie had to switch genders and be Prince Charles. And in a twist, former cohost Meredith Vieira made a surprise appearance as Queen Elizabeth, with corgis in tow. Poor puppies — their tiny feet were trampled when Matt dipped Her Majesty for a smooch, knocking off her wig and hat. Awkward! More »

A Gentle Reminder That Slutoween Celebrants Are Asking For It

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:15:00 EDT

Ugh, feminists really are the worst. First, they tell you to bust out the lingerie to protest rape at SlutWalk, and then they demand you ditch your sexy mental patient Halloween costume for a dumpy Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor outfit. It's so incredibly confusing! That is, if you're a writer notorious for your anti-woman diatribes who fails to understand (purposely, we suspect) the issues surrounding SlutWalk and "slutoween." More »

Moms Magically Avoid Giving Birth On Halloween

Anna North — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:35:00 EDT

Apparently moms go to great lengths to avoid giving birth on Halloween. And even their bodies conspire to keep babies from popping out on the scary holiday. More »

Americans Stuff Their Faces With Record Amount Of Candy

Margaret Hartmann — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 22:12:31 EDT

Cue the Stephen Colbert "We're #1" chant, because Americans have topped themselves in ingesting unhealthy snacks once again. Candy sales for Halloween 2011 will be $2.3 billion, a new record. According to the National Confectioner's Association, the average American will spend $7.36 on Halloween candy this year. Allow Susan Whiteside, the company's vice president of communications, to explain the trend in the least amusing way possible: More »

Sunday Night Tricks And Treats

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 19:00:00 EDT

'Weekend Today' Goes Kardashian Krazy

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:35:00 EDT

NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 30: (L-R) Melissa Francis as Kourtney Kardashian, Jenna Wolfe as Khloe Kardashian, Lester Holt as Bruce Jenner, Amy Robach as Kim Kardashian and Janice Huff as Kris Jenner tape NBC's 'Weekend Today' 2011 Halloween Celebration at Rockefeller Plaza on October 30, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images) More »

Heidi Klum's Amazing Dead Body

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:05:00 EDT

Celebrating Halloween The 1950s Way

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 12:35:00 EDT

Circa 1955: An American family with a carved pumpkin illuminated by a candle to celebrate Halloween. (Photo by Sherman/Three Lions/Getty Images) More »

The White House Got Some Cute Trick-Or-Treaters

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 11:35:00 EDT

If You're Not Excited About Halloween Yet These Lady Gaga Pumpkins Will Take You There

Lane Moore — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:35:00 EDT

When I was a kid, I could barely master the "Standard Boring Halloween Pumpkin Face" carving let alone some ornate masterpiece such as, well, some of these, anyway. More »

The Night Belongs To The Doctor

Anna North — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:05:00 EDT

That's right folks, today is Doctor Who star Matt Smith's twenty-ninth birthday! Fans of the show will know that he's the youngest actor ever to play the role of the Doctor — I now know that he is a mere four months older than I am, meaning the next Doctor will probably be younger than me, meaning I am old (really old, if you go by the Doctor's stated age of around 900). More »

Halloween Costumes Your Pet Actually Wants To Wear

Anna North — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 18:05:00 EDT

We know your dog would look super-cute as a slutty French maid — but we also know she's going to chew that dress off in about seven seconds flat. So here are some ideas for costumes your pet will actually be into. More »

Send Us Your Scariest Ghost Stories

Anna North — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 14:10:00 EDT

Friends, Halloween is almost upon us. Which means candy corn, slutty beer mug costumes, and: ghost stories. And we want to hear yours. More »

First Look: Katie Holmes Is The 'Slutty Pumpkin'

Whitney Jefferson — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:55:00 EDT

Those who have been watching How I Met Your Mother from the start know that each Halloween, Ted ventures upstairs to the same party where he first saw the "Slutty Pumpkin" in 2001. Each year he dresses the same — as a "Hanging Chad," which was kinda funny at the time, I guess — in hopes that he'll come across the mystery woman who stole his heart ten years ago. It's been a call-back used every season since the show's inception, leading some to wonder whether or not the "Slutty Pumpkin" will turn out to be the show's "mother."

Take Back Halloween Offers Feminist Take On The Day

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 18:15:00 EDT

Why be a slutty shower when you can be Madam C.J. Walker, Athena, Chalchiuhtlicue, Ada Lovelace or Hatshepsut? More »

The Kate Middleton Halloween Costume For Dogs

Whitney Jefferson — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 17:15:00 EDT

As seen on Wendy Williams today. No sign of Pippa. More »

Halloween May Be Rescheduled, Adjust Accordingly

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:13:00 EDT

Connecticut State Rep. Tim Larson has a proposal that threatens Halloween as we know it: He wants to move the date from October 31 to the last Saturday of the month. He explains: More »

The Best Costumes From The Tompkins Square Dog Parade

Whitney Jefferson — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:20:00 EDT

This past Saturday, the 21st annual Dog Halloween Parade took place in New York City's Tompkins Square Park and let me tell you, the economic downturn had no effect on this year's extravagant costumes. Okay, well, there was an Occupy Wall Street Dog, as seen above. Click through to see who took home first place, as well as the costumes that didn't but might as well be appreciated for the adorableness that they are, anyway. More »

Students Campaign Against Racist Halloween Costumes

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:55:00 EDT

The posters were created by a student organization at Ohio University called Students Teaching Against Racism (STARS). The copy reads, "We're a culture, not a costume." more here, here and here. More »

The Last Minute Half-Assed Guide To Halloween Costumes

Erin Gloria Ryan — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:30:00 EDT

For the lazy person who hates shopping and being looked at by strangers, Halloween is a cruel holiday indeed. Coming up with a clever costume idea is mentally challenging enough, but then you have to figure out where to acquire all of the costume's pieces, and then you have to go all those places where they might sell those pieces, and then you have to put them all on, and then it's usually too cold to wear anything fun outside and everyone's dressed like Little Miss Strumpet or Sexy Ladybugs or Booblestiltzkin. What's the unprepared would-be Halloween partier to do? Half-ass it, that's what. More »

Skeleton Seeks Same In Superb Spike Jonze Short

Jenna Sauers — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:15:00 EDT

Director Spike Jonze and accessory designer Olympia Le Tan teamed up to make this creepy-romantic, Halloween-appropriate short. Mourir Auprès de Toi ("To Die By Your Side") is set in a bookstore — actually, the famous English-language Paris booksellers Shakespeare & Company, to be precise — where the covers come to life after dark. It stars a skeleton from the front of Macbeth (King Duncan, ahoy) and a lady from the cover of Dracula (Mina?). Moby Dick of Moby-Dick fame also makes an appearance at a climactic juncture. More »

The Best Four Minutes of Sandra Lee's Ridiculous Halloween Special

Matt Cherette — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:15:09 EDT

On Sunday, the Food Network aired Sandra's Halloween Wonderland, an hour-long special from Semi-Homemade Cooking host Sandra Lee. To say that the program—which featured half a dozen costume changes and nearly twice as many cocktail recipes—was a train wreck would be an understatement. But don't just take my word for it! Check out the above compilation to see the special's most absurd moments for yourself. More »

All The Ways Your Child Could Die This Halloween

Whitney Jefferson — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 10:30:00 EDT

Today's Good Morning America featured a segment about all the ways your kid could meet their fateful end this coming holiday, by setting fire to a series of children's Halloween costumes, wigs, and accessories. Spooky! See, your kid's costume is almost definitely going up in flames if the child is within 20 feet of a candle. Oh, and your kid will also get hit by a car, as children are twice as likely to be struck by a moving car on Halloween than any other night of the year. (Gee, wonder why?) Moreover, the "remedies" — fake candles and light reflectors — didn't leave me feeling all that convinced that there was anything a parent could do to save their kid from near-certain death. Happy Halloween! More »

The 40 Sluttiest Dog Halloween Costumes

Lane Moore — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:55:00 EDT

Let me start by saying "whoa". Just...whoa. More »

Eight Alternatives To The "Sexy" Halloween Costume

Jessica Fuller — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:15:00 EDT

Ah, Halloween. The time of year when a girl's inner kitty-cat prostitute can run free. More »

Outrageous Halloween Spending Makes It Easy To Forget We're Nearing An Economic Collapse

Lane Moore — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:55:00 EDT

Sure, budgets are a little tight right now but who can resist a "Bloody Mary" mirror that screams and has flashing lights for only $130!!! More »

Other Fun Uses For Candy Corn You May Not Have Thought Of Before

Whitney Jefferson — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:10:00 EDT

If you're anything like me, October is more than the start of fall, more than costumes, and more than Halloween: it's the month where one can buy miniature-sized (I'm sorry, "fun sized") candy of all of virtually any brand you desire. Even more exciting than that is the return of candy corn, a treat that appears only once a year, seemingly unable to withstand the pressure) of any holiday other than All Hallow's Eve. If you feel like getting creative with your candy corn this year, here's a list of fun things to do with it. Not included on this list? Miniature candy corn pumpkins, which make for the perfect fall outing in a pumpkin patch for ones Barbie dolls. More »

Your Guide To Absurdist 'Sexy' Halloween Costumes

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 13:50:00 EDT

Ah, Halloween. The holiday once celebrated by kids pretending to be ghosts and ghouls has morphed into a yearly tradition of women donning skimpy synthetic-fiber garments and animal ears. There's nothing wrong with wearing a sexy costume on Slutoween, as we like to call it, but when you force some innocent creature or inanimate thing to be a fuckable object of the male gaze, it's just weird. What follows are twenty-one ridiculous examples of costumes contorted into awkward suits of seduction. More »