Last night, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz published a letter on the company's website politely requesting that people stop bringing guns to Starbucks. Why is this even necessary? Because, in case you haven't been following, gun rights activists have become borderline Westboro Baptist-level assholes.
It seems that, due to its reputation as a corporation with a liberal C-suite, the purveyors of Pumpkin Spice have become targets of conservative protests. To paraphrase Gawker's late great Jeb Lund, it's a way for jerks to feel important by sitting; the ideological opposite of Chik-fil-A. And because conservative activists are terribly uncreative dickbags who prioritize unregulated gun-waving over public safety, their preferred form of Starbucks protest has been to hang out in their local branch with their guns. Here's an excerpt from Schultz's plea,