The first go-round was bad enough. Today, Samuels posts a follow-up piece rehashing the same points with a supposedly damning photo of Zahara's hair. Newsflash: that's what natural hair looks like with a wash and go. That's what my hair looks like right now! What does Ms. Samuels want her to do, put on a headband? Is a wash and go suddenly okay if we use accessories?

Seriously, there are three big issues at play here that she missed in her analysis.

Zahara Jolie-Pitt Is A Transracial Adoptee And Third Culture Kid

First of all, all of the Jolie-Pitt kids have some unique circumstances. In addition to the transracial adoption angle, the Jolie-Pitts are a nomadic family, settling in places for a while and then moving on. This means that they are all Third Culture Kids. They do not have a dominant society that they grew up in, which means that they may or may not absorb the cultural norms of any of the places they have lived. The children may grow up to feel allegiance to one particular place, or none at all. All this is to say that Zahara may not grow up identifying with the black American experience.

No doubt, Zahara Jolie-Pitt is black. But in the global sense of the word, not in the American way Samuels applies in her piece. As many commenters pointed out in our original post about this, Z is not African-American. She was adopted from Ethiopia, and if Ms. Samuels is ever in DC, I would be more than happy to take her down to the U Street Corridor so she can see how many women from Ethiopia wear their hair. (If she wants to look right now, here's some traditional styles - she'll notice that braids, cornrows, curly fros, loose hair, and the Quntcho (represented stateside and elsewhere as a fro-hawk) are all represented. For more contemporary styles, the contestants in the Ethiopian Millennium Pageant also rock a variety of looks.)

Ms. Samuels is applying a uniquely African American framework to a child who does not have that experience.

Now, that doesn't mean Zahara Jolie-Pitt will have a life free of hair struggles. Curly haired readers from across the globe have pointed out their issues with beauty standards and black hair. Which brings me to my next point.

The Black-on-Black Crime That is Hair Policing Has to End

One of things that drives me insane about these conversations is that they are all hair policing. As Samuels writes in her latest piece:

But the actress should know that the next time Zahara asks about hair, it won't be why her hair isn't similar to others in her house. It will be why her hair doesn't look like other brown girls' does.

On a cultural note, I'd like Angelina to also know how much bonding goes on when mothers sit down to comb their daughter's hair; something that happens in almost every culture, but particularly in the African-American community. My fondest memories are of me sitting on the floor as my mother brushed and oiled my hair.

Okay, that's great. Let me ask her this: what happened after those fond memories? The styles of childhood do not continue into our preteen years, the age when black girls normally get their first relaxers. Does she have fond memories of her mother basing her scalp before she applied the chemicals that would straighten her hair? Or is that a ritual that is just understood as a part of growing up? Are her memories scarred with the taunts of other children? My cousins came home crying after being teased about their "beady-beads" and their "kitchens." And who did the taunting? Many times, it was other black students. We need to stop encouraging conformity and hair hatred, because there is a logical end to the path we are walking down. Instead of fighting each other when someone's hair doesn't conform to our specific ideals, wouldn't it make more sense to fight against a racist system that penalizes and politicizes certain hair styles?

Loose, Curly Hair is Not the Enemy.

Wearing it loose is one of the things a person does when she actually likes the look of her natural hair. Crazy, I know. It isn't as if Zahara can't get ponytails and plaits - the pic used to illustrate this post proves that. But there is nothing wrong with wearing hair loose. Just because the dominant narrative says that curly hair looks wild, unkempt, or untamed unless it is partially braided, in a head band, or otherwise "tamed" doesn't mean we have to buy into it.

To be honest, I'm pissed. I'm pissed at these messed up dynamics, I'm pissed that someone with a Newsweek-level platform can keep bashing the hammer about Zahara without discussing the larger dynamics involved with discussions of natural hair, and I'm pissed that I feel like I'm defending the Pokemon-style adoption tactics of Angelina Jolie, or glossing over the very real indicators shown when a white adoptive parent can't be bothered to learn how to properly care for their child's hair. But specifically in this case, I think the ire directed at Ms. Jolie about her child's hair is misplaced.

Please, for all that is right and good in the world, let's leave Zahara be. We can help to shape a world where she doesn't feel pressured to relax her hair to conform, nor does she feel deficient if she decides to wear her hair the way it grows out of her head. We can shape a world were a decision to relax one's hair is an inconsequential as a decision to dye it or cut it. And if little Zahara grows up and does choose to relax her hair, she should be able to do so in a world that will not judge her personal politics by what she applies to her head.

Zahara Jolie-Pitt And The Politics Of Uncombed Hair [Newsweek]

Related: We Are All Team Zahara [Newsweek]
Third Culture Kids [Wikipedia]
Ethiopian Hair Styles [Ethiopedia]
Are curls the new straight hair? (The Germany Files) [Racialicious]
Hair, Apparently. [Racialicious]
Nappily Ever After? Not Quite… [Racialicious]

Earlier: Thanks For Your Concern, But Zahara's Hair Will Be Fine

I suppose the article really gets under my skin for three major reasons:

1. Assumptions Surrounding Transracial Adoption

According to Samuels:

In recent pictures it's clear Angelina Jolie hasn't taken the time to learn or understand the long and painful history of African-American women and hair. If she had I can't imagine she would continue to allow Zahara to look like she has in the past few months.

Reading through the article, I sensed an undercurrent of anger directed toward Jolie being a white parent raising a black child. Now, I can understand where a bit of this is coming from - as the owner of a site that spends a lot of time critiquing transracial adoption practices, what we have heard from transracial adoptees is that many times, parents treat issues of race and culture as if they were optional, which left the children ill-equipped to deal with insensitive jabs from classmates or fellow family members. However, the Jolie-Pitts appear to keep lots of ties to their children's home countries as well as a larger global citizen perspective on the harsh realities of the world. So what could be the problem?

In sharp contrast, Madonna, who adopted a little African girl earlier this year from Malawi, makes sure her daughter's hair is either braided with beads or bows. Recent photos show the little girl modeling neatly done cornrows with white beads at the bottom-a la Venus and Serena Williams.

Ah, I see. So, because Zahara is rarely seen in cornrows or braids, it means that Jolie is ignorant of cultural norms? I doubt it. Some kids simply do not like the tightness of braids or cornrows. (Personally, I know hated the pain and tugging that came with cornrows, so I've only worn them twice in my life. Then again, I've been accused of being tenderheaded.) Later on in the article, Samuels acknowledges that the Jolie-Pitts have made efforts: they had Beyonce's stylist on retainer for a while, and Brad Pitt often shouts out celebrity favorite Carol's Daughter products in interviews. So clearly, they did some kind of research. But in Samuels eyes, this was not enough.

2. Assumptions about cultural norms

Allison Samuels writes:

It's no secret that black women and their hair have always had a very complicated relationship. In a society that values fine facial features and long silky, straight hair, African-Americans' sometimes kinky, fragile, and unruly hair can be the bane of a black woman's existence if she allows it.

Hair is often the first thing others notice, be it the texture, length, fullness, or shine. In the African-American community it can also tell a story. It can indicate your background, lineage, and social standing. From slavery until today, skin color and hair texture played a large part in how the overall society viewed blacks and ultimately the way African-Americans saw themselves.

So a black woman has two options: either submit to damaging relaxers and hot combs, or keep hair natural-while still ensuring that it's well conditioned, well combed, and in place. There are many legacies of black hair in America, but the most enduring is this: even those who eschew pursuing European-looking hair still take a tremendous amount of pride in looking well groomed and put together, and still need to devote time and energy to achieve this effect.

Who gets to define what is "groomed" and what is not? For example, I generally don't style my hair, preferring to leave it loose. Does that mean I no longer look well groomed or put together? If my hair isn't visibly shiny, are people interpreting that to mean it isn't conditioned? And what does in place mean? Especially as my hair goes up and out and not down? One of my close friends has been natural for close to 15 years now, and she generally allows her hair to grow as it grows. (She will probably dreadlock it a bit later this year). Her hair looks fine - bur occasionally people will make remarks like "your hair needs a comb!" My friend's hair is highly textured and it is easy to tell with a cursory glance that she cares for it. But when people yell out those kind of remarks, they aren't objecting to her personal choice - they're objecting to the fact that any hair that doesn't hang down straight is considered unkempt.

Samuels' next few paragraphs illuminate her intentions. The objections she raises aren't about hair being well cared for - it's about curl control:

It's no wonder that African-American women are the largest consumers of hair products, spending close to a billion dollars each year to control their hair. These same women passed down these perceived notions about hair to their daughters. They usually begin hot combing and braiding the child's hair to take the kink out at an early age.

But even the mothers who spare the hot comb still have to put time and effort into keeping hair healthy: Any self-respecting black mother knows that she must comb, oil, and brush her daughter's hair every night. This prevents the hair from matting up, drying out, and breaking off. It also prevents any older relatives from asking them why you're neglecting your child and letting her run around looking like a wild woman. Having well-managed hair is not just about style, it's about pride, dignity, and self-respect. Keeping your daughter's hair neat is an unspoken rule of parental duties that everyone in the community recognizes and respects.

I thought the whole point of my mother spending time to wrestle my hair into things like plaits and pigtails was so that she wouldn't have to go through with a nightly ritual, that I had a style I could wear for a few days. I don't think she was trying to camouflage my curls and kinks with her choice of styling method. But when Samuels' goes into the reasoning for her ideas, things really get dicey:

Hair that is nice, neat, and cared for also gives African-American girls the confidence that they can fit into the world at large without being seen as completely different. One truism of childhood is that nothing is more important than being like everyone else. Well, as like everyone else as you can be with Hollywood parents. But not all people will recognize Zahara as the child of movie royalty. To many, she'll be just a black little girl-and a black girl with bad hair at that.

We (as young black girls) are always different. If our hair is perfectly straight, flowing and bouncing, there's still the matter of features and skin tone. Even if our hair is perfectly straight, it will feel different because many of us moisturize with grease (or other products) instead of washing the grease down the drain in the morning. We are different and there is nothing wrong with that. Assimilation is not guarantee of acceptance.

3. The Unquestioned Embrace of Conformity

Kids experiment with their hair. All the time. And this goes double for the Jolie-Pitts. Maddox normally rocks a mohawk (and the occasional dye job), Pax has blond streaks and long loose hair, and Z has had every style from little puffs to loose curls. Clearly, the children appear to be encouraged to experiment with their whole look, and hair is an extension of that .

So when Samuels writes:

Photos of Zahara show the 4-year-old girl sporting hair that is wild and unstyled, uncombed and dry. Basically: a "hot mess.''

You know what else is a hot mess?

Denying a child the same freedom to explore and play with her hair as her brothers and sisters.

Yes, I have seen some of the photos where Z's hair does look a bit dry and damaged, just like we've seen the rest of the kids with serious bedhead. But how do we know Zahara's hair being positioned straight up on her head wasn't done out of a desire to imitate the distinctive style of her older brother, Maddox? As I said above, the problem goes deeper than one or two "bad" hair days. It's the reinforcement (both on a cultural level and on a societal level) that kinky or curly hair must always be tamed to be considered acceptable.

Zahara has her whole life ahead of her to stress about her hair.

For now, let's just give her the space to be a child.

Zahara Jolie-Pitt And The Politics Of Uncombed Hair [Newsweek]

[Brignoles, September 21. Image via x17.]

[Brignoles, France; October 5. Image via Splash.]

(Click to enlarge)

[Toulon, France; September 23. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, July 28. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, July 6. Image via x17]

[New York, April 18. Image via INF]

[Washington, D.C., March 6. Image via INF]

[New York, February 25. Image via Splash.]

[New York, February 18. Image via Splash.]

[Narita, Japan; January 27. Images via Getty]

• Jennifer Garner has obtained a court order protecting herself from a man she believes is endangering her family. She claims Steven Burky has been "stalking and harassing" her, sending "packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country." The guy showed up at her house and said, "God has sent me a vision of you being persecuted in some manner that may result in your death." Burky has a blog called Satanic Panic, on which he wrote: "Are multitudes of adults resorting to human sacrifices and then repressing this information from fear of Christ..." [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan "sobbed in the street" after her fight with Samantha Ronson, and this report claims it was physical, with Sam "throwing punches" on the dancefloor when she saw LL dancing with her ex Calum Best. [The Sun]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached an agreement regarding their divorce! Guy is refusing to take a single penny, and they'll share custody of the kids, except Lourdes, who will stay with her mom. [This Is London, Times of London]

• Everyone loves picking out clothes for the new First Lady! The Michelle Obama Style Guide will come out in the Spring; former Mademoiselle and Shop Etc. editor Mandi Norwood is writing it. Norwood says: "Not since Jackie O have we had a first lady become a fashion icon. Michelle Obama will be one of history's most vibrant first ladies; she has a distinctive style that every American woman can aspire to, whether the consumer is a Target shopper or some one more likely to be found on Miracle Mile." [Page Six]
• How does Angelina Jolie feel when people refer to her and Brad Pitt as "Brangelina"? "Honestly, I don't have a thought either way," she says. "Although on the set of Changeling, Clint Eastwood was calling us 'Clintelina'. I think that sounds funnier." Oh, and Angelina hasn't seen Brad's new movie, Benjamin Button yet. But she says, "Brad looks good ageing backwards. And no, I've not been on the set of Inglourious Basterds. This is a Tarantino film, so we're thinking, 'What's a good day to bring children on set?'" [Telegraph]
• Winona Ryder had her stomach pumped at a hospital in London after a suspected accidental overdose on a British Airways flight. She has a fear of flying and may have taken too many Xanax pills — this report claims she "collapsed twice" in first class. (How do you collapse when you're in a first class seat on a plane?) In any case, she's been discharged from the hospital. [The Sun, Mirror, Telegraph]
• Rosie O'Donnell says Barbara Walters wanted everyone on The View to act like they got along: "I'm not saying they loathe each other, but the fact of the matter is, there was not a lot of camaraderie off camera." Rosie also says her new show will not be like The View: "The job description here is to entertain. It will be an hour of fun, laughter, singing and dancing. No politics. No arguing. No talking about controversial things. That, to me, is what is needed now." [LA Times]
• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman showed up arm-in-arm to the GQ Men of the Year party, and held hands at the event and were spotted kissing, so it's looking like it's on. [Yahoo News]
• Kelly Osbourne: Engaged! Boyfriend Luke Worrell asked Ozzy Osbourne for permission to propose, awww. And brave! [The Sun]
• Brooke Shields says the world has got to save Lipstick Jungle. "NBC is now flooded with lipstick. Women are in uproar over this…they’ve tried to kill us before and we have refused to die." And writer Ilene Rosenzweig says: "There are no other female-driven dramas on television, and if this one goes, it will have been the last. But women are so sick of reality TV and want to have a place where they can turn for escapism and frivolity, but also to confront the real struggles that powerful women face in the workplace and at home." [Daily Beast]
• It's official: Britney Spears did write a song for Adnan Ghalib, called "Mmm Papi," and the lyrics are: "You love it when I'm freaking out / Things get rough and there's no doubt / You will always be there for me." [Perez Hilton]
• Okay, she didn't write the song for Adnan. It's just a song. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson could be forced to fly to the High Court in London to testify in a case being brought against him by the King of Bahrain's son. [Telegraph]
• Oh, wait: Michael Jackson is intending to go to court, his lawyers claim. [Yahoo News]
• Jennifer Aniston watches Friends, and says "there are times when I laugh my rear end off." Nothing more amusing than watching yourself be amusing, huh? [MSNBC]
• Why Forbes has an annual list of "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" is a question to ponder, but know this: Suri Cruise is number one. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is in second place after coming in first last year; Zahara Jolie-Pitt, 3, is in third place; and Pax Jolie-Pitt, 4, is fourth on the list. [Breitbart]
• Another Forbes list: Hollywood's Top-Earning Couples. "Jay-Z and his new bride, Beyoncé Knowles, collectively raked in $162 million between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008." [Forbes]
• Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have broken up, you guys, but no one cheated on anyone: Vanessa Fontana from that BFF show says "Paris and Benji were loyal and faithful to each other. I love Paris, and I just want her to be happy. I think that they'll be better as friends." [Yahoo News via E!]
• And yes, Paris was "all over" her ex, Stavros Niarchos, earlier this week. A source spills: "Benji didn't like it that she spent the evening with Stavros. He blew up and Paris felt victimized. He gave her a lot of grief about that. She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in." [Star Magazine]
• A different person says Paris and Stavros were just having a friendly conversation. "In no way are they romantic, nor do they want to get back together," the source says. [People]
• Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 says the plane crash has him speaking to Travis Barker again, after the band's messy split in 2005. "We're just reconnecting as friends after four years of not talking," he says. "It's a good thing." [Reuters]
• Additional info about the crash that injured Travis Barker here. The pilot of the jet warned air traffic controllers that his plane was "going off the end" before it crashed, killing him and 3 others. The cockpit recordings have been released. [CBS News]
• You'll enjoy this: NeNe has written "5 Ways Real Housewives Of Atlanta has Changed My Life." She says: "I’m not surprised that Anderson Cooper is talking about me! Wouldn’t you talk about me? I’m not surprised. Anderson Cooper is gorgeous. He is THE silver fox, and I just wish he’d come over on this side of the street. And come over here and talk to me!" [People]
• Fifty-eight year old Bill Murray was spotted having a fancy dinner in Chicago with 27-year-old Miss USA, Crystle Stewart. Nothing lost in translation there! [Perez Hilton]
• Kevin Spacey is in a new flick called Men Who Stare At Goats. He plays a "psychic guru." George Clooney is in the film, too and, presumably, some goats. [io9]
• Noted author Pamela Anderson has written an open letter to Barack Obama. She has suggestions! Free Leonard Peltier, castrate sex offenders, legalize marijuana, promote vegetarianism, stop animal testing, and bring the troops home safely! Now where's her cabinet position? [Perez Hilton]
• Film students! James Franco wants to be in your movie. "I haven’t acted in any student films yet," he says. "You would think that more people would ask me to be in their movies, but they haven’t." Franco is studying directing at NYU. Please, guys. Cast him. [NY Mag]
• Oh! James Franco's next role after Milk will be gay poet Allen Ginsberg in the movie Howl. Back-to-back gay roles "don't make any difference to me," Franco says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Julia Stiles was in a play that required her to utter these words about her "first time in bed with a black man": "He came over to borrow a highlighter. Next thing I knew, my panties were off and I was sitting on his face." [NY Mag]
• People are bidding £1 million for the house where David Beckham lived as a baby. Similar houses in the area were sold for £250,000. WTF. [Yahoo News]
• Whoopi Goldberg shows Liz Smith her tattoos: She has two dragons and a little Woodstock. [WowoWow]
• Tom Jones sang on the sidewalk in London to raise money for a cancer charity. He belted out "It's Not Unusual" and people did double takes; he performed four songs for the British Busking Challenge run by the BBC's Culture Show. [News.com.au]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still engaged. And the wedding will be small, which means you're not invited. Sorry. [People]
• Back in August, Jackson Browne sued John McCain for using his song, "Running On Empty." Now McCain says Browne complained so he could get press to promote his new album, which came out a month later. McCain also argues that he can use whatever song he wants, since he's running for office and not trying to make money off of the music. What will the court decide? [TMZ]
• Michelle Hurd, who plays Eleanor Waldorf's assistant, Laurel, on Gossip Girl, says she bought her mom a vibrator for Christmas: "I actually got my mother the Rabbit last year," she says. "She was quite shocked and turned red instantly, but probably a month later she very quietly thanked me." [NY Mag]
• Actor John Turturro has great things to say about Barack Obama: "I think it's very interesting that he wants to surround himself with people who are strong and good. That's what Lincoln did—he put his adversaries, people who were on the other side, into his cabinet." But! Turturro, born and raised in Brooklyn, doesn't mind if Hillary Clinton moves to Washington: "I don't consider Hillary Clinton a New Yorker. I consider her a Senator from New York, but I don't consider her a New Yorker. She is from Illinois. A lot of people in New York aren't from New York, but she hasn't been here long enough for me to consider her a New Yorker." [Observer]
• Usher's mom maybe didn't pay her limo driver, boo. [TMZ]
• Is Kirk Cameron — who says civil marriage is not susceptible to any change because it is ordained by God — one of the "American Taliban"? [The Atlantic]
• Brit band Take That has a song inspired Amy Winehouse: Lyrics include, "All this noise and all these lights/All this talking through the night. All this expectation now it’s making me neurotic/ Tell me have I seen your face before? How did it come to this?/ How did it ever come to this?" [The Sun]
• Homecoming time! James Van Der Beek went back to Wilmington, NC — working with some of his former Dawson's Creek crew — for a guest appearance on the CW's One Tree Hill. [AP]
• Is anyone sorta tickled by the Bob Hope postage stamp? Thanks for the memories… [Yahoo News]
• Ivanka Trump's writing her first book! A "motivational title for women of her generation" with personal experiences in life and business, and lessons learned from her father and other business luminaries. Look for it in fall 2009. [PW]
• Adrien Brody was interviewed by gay magazine The Advocate, but refused to answer the silly questions asked of him, explaining that he is a "serious person." [Perez Hilton]
• Mischa Barton's official web site is live. Not that you care. [Socialite Life]
• Rita Wilson tried to buy a Beatles poster for her husband, Tom Hanks, but the seller couldn't provide a certificate of authenticity. Wilson declined to make the purchase and the seller "became belligerent" and now the mess is in court. Can't buy me love? [TMZ]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean is being sued by his personal trainer. Pay your bills! [TMZ]
• Four words: Monty Python YouTube Channel! [Telegraph]
• Mel Gibson's marriage is not on the rocks, even though there's "a dark-haired beauty named Oksana" who hangs around his movie set and "no one is quite sure what her role is." [Rush & Molloy]
• "She packs for me with beautiful notes in my luggage that I discover. She's always doing sweet things." — Seal on Heidi Klum. [People]
• "I like writing songs about boys and relationships. And when someone breaks up with me, I like to write about it, because I feel like I have the last word. That's the fun part. I have no issue with naming names. My personal goal is for my songs to be so detailed that the guy the song is written about knows it's about him." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "She's a technically amazing singer, obviously — if she wasn't a star, she could always make a living with that voice, because it's like an instrument. But it's also such an original voice — as soon as you hear it on any track, you know exactly who it is. A great singer is somebody who makes you believe what they're saying, and you always believe what Annie is telling you… I also have to be superficial for a moment and point out that she is this unbelievably hot chick — and she has stayed hot to this day." — Rob Thomas on Annie Lennox. [Rolling Stone]
• "Well there's no doubt that election night was a bittersweet night. But in some ways, these kinds of setbacks allow for a bigger fight, more challenges, and eventually we're going to get it right. Eventually the American public will figure out that it really isn't right to deny citizens basic civil human rights. And we can no longer allow that to happen." — Kevin Spacey on Prop 8. [HuffPo]
• "Travelling with the family is fun… The other day, when we flew from LA to Germany, all of us had terrible jet lag. The children kept waking up, so we all got up, turned on the TV, made snacks, and were up until 4am. We laughed our heads off - the kids are some of the funniest people Brad and I have ever met. So more [children] sounds like a great idea, as much as it's hard work. It's just worth it." — Angelina Jolie. [Telegraph]
• "This is nothing new for me. When I got married, it was an act of civil disobedience as much as it was a love story. There is not any person in the country who doesn’t know I’m for gay marriage. I'm not vocal enough? I got married before anyone else did. I’ve been living it and living it for a very long time." — Rosie O'Donnell, to critics who question why she's been "absent" from the uproar over Prop 8. [LA Times]

[Nice, France; October 8. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New Orleans, October 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Amy Poehler is leaving Saturday Night Live! She'll step away after the November election to give birth to her first child, and she won't be coming back. "It's gonna be really hard — Boyz II Men hard — to say goodbye to yesterday," she says. "But like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down." Amy will still be on TV, though: She's getting her own NBC series from the producers of The Office. [LA Times]
• RIP TRL! After ten years, Total Request Live will end its run on MTV. All kinds of stars stopped by the studios promote their projects, from Britney Spears to *NSync to Eminem. Remember when Mariah had her meltdown? It's the end of an era. [AP]
• Katie Couric has landed an interview with Sarah Palin. The CBS anchor will travel with the Governor next week. Will the ladies go on a moose hunt? [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse posted pictures of Blake Incarcerated exposing his manhood on her Facebook profile. (Click to see a censored version.) In other news, Blake would rather stay in prison than accept early release where he has to live with his mum and wear an electronic monitoring device because he doesn't want to go somewhere where he can't be with Amy. [The Sun]

• Oh dear, it seems that Blake Incarcerated has failed a drug test and will spend Christmas in jail. Amy is upset she'll be spending New Year's Eve alone. She must feel like she's fighting some unholy war. [ONTD]
• Christina Applegate went back to work on the set of Samantha Who? yesterday, after taking time out for a double mastectomy in July. She'll undergo reconstructive surgery in the next few months. [E!]
• Nikki Blonksky sat down with Entertainment Tonight in her first interview since the incident in a Turks and Caicos airport which lead to her — and her father — being arrested. "You never expect things like this in your life, but you take life one day at a time, and you deal with situations," Nikki says. [ET]
• Nikki Blonsky also says nice things about Zac Efron: "I love him with every inch of my body and soul. He has been an amazing support system." [Just Jared]
• Mischa Barton and Josh Hartnett partied in London together. They left a club and went to his hotel; she was seen leaving an hour later. Is it on? [This Is London]
• Kevin Federline skipped his sons' birthday party to get wasted in Las Vegas. [MSNBC]
• Zahara Jolie-Pitt is three years old, but she already has a job lined up: When she's older, she can work at the clinic her parents have established in Ethiopia for children with AIDS and tuberculosis. [Star]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli's off-again/on-again relationship is currently off. Stay tuned. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mariah Carey doesn't pick up her dog doo. [Page Six]
• Don't look for any more singles from Mariah Carey's album. [Perez Hilton]
• Lily Allen's new album comes out in February and is basically done, though she's adding some things. She explains: "I’m working on some extra stuff in the studio at the moment, it seems making an album isn't enough these days, some websites (not naming any!) won’t put an album on their front page unless you give them exclusive tracks, not that I’m complaining." Then she goes on to complain: "I always thought an album was a body of work in itself. you take it or leave it. You wouldn't say to a painter 'yeah I love the naked ladies, but would you mind painting their hair blonde instead of brown, and making their t*ts a bit bigger?' or 'the trees are really pretty, a few more leaves perhaps?' Maybe you would actually, ha ha." [Mirror]
• Tom Hanks: Being honored by the Film Society of Lincoln Center. [USA Today]
• Pat O'Brien of The Insider cares about poor people, claims he has "raged against the machine" and says we can change the world. [Page Six]
• Veronica Webb was replaced by Gretta Monahan on Tim Gunn's Guide To Style, but was still forced to sit next to her at a party. The cruelty! [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie says a quickie is the best type of sex. Also, when asked why his films rarely have actresses in them, he said, "That's because I don't understand women." [The Sun]
• Benicio Del Toro and Steven Soderbergh: Seen partying in Toronto, getting lap dances and letting the ladies pour vodka shots into their mouths. Che it ain't so. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh, Kate Moss's daughter likes the way gas smells, so Kate leaves the car door open when she fills up at the petrol station. Does snorting chemicals run in the family? [The Sun]
• Jack White is not happy that Coca-Cola is using a song he wrote for the James Bond film Quantum of Solace. Although! Jack White did once write a song for Coke. Just not this song. [AdFreak]
• Ew, Aubry O'Day seen making out with Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus's new guy is a model and aspiring country singer snamed Justin Gaston. Her rep says he is a "friend from Nashville." The two went to church together on Sunday. Jesus, talk about a clean teen. [People]
• Here's an interview with Michael Emerson, who plays Benjamin Linus on Lost. He says: "I learned the story at the same rate the audience was learning it. I didn’t know where it was going… But I've gotten used to it. Now, not knowing is part of the fun." [LA Times]
• Snoop Dogg, Rihanna and Chris Brown will attend the Melbourne Cup. Just a short while ago, it was unclear whether Snoop would be allowed into Australia; now he'll be in some kind of VIP booth at the horse race. Trifecta like it's hot. [News.com.au]
• The West Hollywood Gay and Lesbian Alliance are calling the British comedy series Little Britain USA "offensive" and "obnoxious." Isn't it supposed to be? [ONTD]
• Cate Blanchett and Philip Seymour Hoffman are working on a project to promote collaboration between theater companies in London, New York and Sydney, Australia. Blanchett's husband is a playwright; Hoffman is directing his work. [AP]
• Megan Fox is on the cover of GQ running her tongue across her teeth and wearing a bikini. She's also on the cover of Maxim, but the magazine bought old pix and did a story without her cooperation. [People]
• Noel Gallagher plans to team up with Russell Brand to create TV shows. Maybe even a sitcom. Be afraid. [The Sun]
• Saturday, Susie Essman of Curb Your Enthusiasm married her boyfriend of five years, a real estate broker named Jim Harder. Congrats! She says: "He didn’t even have HBO, or cable for that matter, and maybe that was a good thing because if he had ever seen me play Susie Greene, he probably would have run for the hills." [People]
• Dane Cook's made three shitty movies. Will My Best Friend's Girl be different? [AP]
• Um, a remake of Children Of The Corn. For the SciFi Channel. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Any CSI: NY fans out there? How do you feel about the fact that Rumer Willis will be on a November 19th episode? [EW]
• "No one can replace Richard Wright — he was my musical partner and my friend. He was gentle, unassuming and private but his soulful voice and playing were vital, magical components of our most recognised Pink Floyd sound." — Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour. [BBC News]
• "(David) wasn’t very well endowed, because he was fighting Goliath. There was very much that effect (for me). You tighten up like a hamster." — Daniel Radcliffe, on "shrinkage" due to stage fright while appearing nude in Equus on Broadway. [MSNBC, Daily Express]

[Cannes, France; September 2. Image via INF]

[Southern France, August 13. Images via x17.]

[Monaco, May 12. Images via INFDaily]

The Minnesota research team assessed 540 non-adopted adolescents, 514 internationally-adopted adolescents and 178 domestically-adopted adolescents from the ages of 11 to 21, according to a press release. The study also interviewed adoptees directly, as opposed to relying on questionnaires filled out by parents, as prior studies had.

Keyes made sure to emphasize to Time that even though adoptees are more likely to have a rough time during adolescence, potential parents shouldn't be deterred. "Males are likelier to have behavior issues... But no one is overly concerned about having boys," Keyes said. She also added, "All adolescents struggle with finding their identity. It makes sense adopted children would struggle more than most."

Adoptees More Likely to be Troubled [Time]
US Teens Adopted As Infants Appear To Have Moderately Increased Odds Of Mental Health Problems [EurekAlert]

[France, May 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Saint Jean Cap Ferrat, France; May 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

For a new book, Bad Baby Names, Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback checked census records from 1790 to 1930 and found names like Garage Empty, Hysteria Johnson, Infinity Hubbard, Please Cope, Major Slaughter, Ima Muskrat, Ima Nut and Ima Hooker. They also interviewed adults who had survived childhoods with names like Candy Stohr, Cash Guy, Mary Christmas, River Jordan and Rasp Berry. Fun is one thing. But what if you want a kid to succeed? Do you name your daughter "C.E.O."?

According to a survey by BabyCenter, 58% of parents believe that the name they give their baby will contribute to his or her success in life, the Freakonomics guys write in the New York Times. ("Apparently they didn't read Freakonomics, or at least they didn't believe it," they add.) Moms and dads think a baby boy's name should convey strength and individuality; a girl's name should relay femininity, individuality and kindness. And yet! 3% of survey responders said they'd change their child's name if they could, because the name had become too popular. So much for individuality. "I've seen brilliant children with awful, meaningless names," said one parent.

(Meanwhile, the trend of naming your kid after a famous city (London, Dallas, Paris, Brooklyn) can only go so far: over on Babble this morning, Jen Chaney warns that some towns (Lizard Lick, NC, Crapo, MD, Sugartit, KY) should be avoided.)

As a child with a unique name I always felt bad for the kids in my class who had to be Brian M. and Brian S. or Jennifer C. and Jenny C. I thought unique names were better, until I realized that I'd be spelling mine pretty much every day for the rest of my life. But I've got to ask: Does an interesting name make for an interesting person? Even though Freakonomics claims that a name has nothing to do with the life a child will lead, do you secretly believe a name has the power to shape a kid's personality? To make a person achieve more — or less? (And are all Jessicas really bitches?)

A Boy Named Sue, and a Theory of Names, If I Name My Daughter 'C.E.O,' Will She Become One? [New York Times]
My Son Crapo [Babble]
The Big Baby Name Survey [BabyCenter]

Earlier: Sometimes, Parents Give Kids A "Bad" Name
The Most Popular Baby Names Of 2007
A Chinese Couple Have Tried To Name Their Baby "@"
It's Official: Jessicas — From Alba To Z — Suck
Jessicas Are All Pretty Bitches

• Brad Pitt was out with Zahara when a paparazzo got a leeetle bit too close. Brad grabbed the guy's collar and said, "Get the fuck away from me!" Oooh, AggroDaddy! [E!]
  
• The Spice Girls tour ends February 26 in Toronto and was fun while it lasted, but "probably won't happen ever again," Ginger says. Sorry, folks: You'll have to get your girl power somewhere else. [Reuters]
  
• Lindsay Lohan "fluttered" back and forth between Adrian Grenier and Leonardo DiCaprio at a club in West Hollywood Tuesday. Also: LL was drinking vodka and champagne. Where's that SCRAM when you need it? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Paul McCartney sent a bouquet of lilies to Heather Mills on the eve of their first day in divorce court. Attached was a note that read, "Please remember you and I are both human and have one very special person in common. Please let's not forget this when we are in court. Whatever happens, our daughter comes first." Very admirable. Gentlemanly, even. No? [Mirror]

• Carson Daly went back to work on Last Call during the writers strike — now NBC has cut the show's budget and fired most of his writers. How's that for a punch line? [Deadline Hollywood]
• A lawyer in NYC has filed papers in federal court asking that Britney's conservatorship case be taken away from the L.A. court, stating: "It is doubtful that Ms. Spears can receive equal protection and a fair trial or hearing in the custody proceedings because of the intense media scrutiny of what would normally be private aspects of a person's life." Wait, what? Plus! No one knows who hired this lawyer. Crazy. [TMZ]
• Britney's brother has been named as the trustee of his sister's trust. Definitely keep it in the family and away from the hangers-on! [TMZ]
• Also, Brit's conservatorship has been extended to March 10. And! Sam Lutfi has still not been served with that damn restraining order, even though Britney's dad's attorney swears they staked out is residence and "did many things we do not want to discuss right now." That Lutfi dude is slippery. [USA Today]
• Today is the one-year anniversary of Britney's head-shaving. Raise your razors. [TMZ]
• Pam Anderson is in Paris campaigning for the protection of baby seals. She's working with Brigitte Bardot's animal rights foundation, and BB said to Pam, "You are my Valentine, I kiss you," via speakerphone. Kinda cute! [Reuters]
• Ted Danson is calling for the planet's oceans to be protected from overfishing and mercury contamination. He and Pam should go on the road! [AP]
• To get back at Sarah Silverman for singing "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Jimmy Kimmel is making a video called "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck." Hmm, Sarah still wins this round. [Page Six]
• Bono and artist Damien Hirst hosted an auction last night that raised more than $40 million for AIDS relief. Also attending the (RED) benefit: Queen Noor, Michael Stipe, Dennis Hopper, Martha Stewart, Christy Turlington, Ed Burns, Q-Tip, Helena Christensen, Brian Williams and Anna Wintour. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Don't panic, but which pint-size actress who recently sucked face with her celebutard best friend is being romanced by an equally tiny emo rocker, whom she met at a disco during the Grammys?" [Rush & Molloy]
• John Mayer downed sake shots with some folks from TMZ. What a wonderful world. [TMZ]
• Oasis singer Liam Gallagher married his longtime girlfriend, All Saints singer Nicole Appleton, yesterday. They've been together 8 years and have a 6-year-old son. Keeping in the tradition of the Oasis rivalry, Liam didn't tell his brother Noel about the nuptials. What's the story, morning glory? [People]
• In a just-published interview conducted before Heath Ledger's death, a post-breakup Michelle Williams said: "I thought I knew certain things and it turned out that I didn't, so I don't really try and anticipate so much anymore. I'm not making any bets on the future." [People]
• A construction worker who admitted to strangling actress Adrienne Shelly pleaded guilty to manslaughter yesterday. Shelly, who wrote, directed and co-starred in Waitress, was killed by the man after he robbed her apartment; he then hung her body to make it look like a suicide. [USA Today]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown: It's so on. [Concrete Loop]
• Hey, so that model in the Kanye West video will sell you her used underwear, if you're interested. She says she wears each pair of panties "long enough to transfer my 'natural' scent." Good morning! [Rush & Molloy]
• The Dept. of Animal Services went to Paris Hilton's house yesterday to investigate a complaint about her dogs. The city of L.A. has a three-dogs-per-address rule; Paris, on Ellen, claimed she has 17 dogs. Anyway, her house is under construction at the moment so no one was home. [TMZ]
• Bai Ling claims she shoplifted mags at the airport because it was an "emotionally crazy" day; she was breaking up with her man. On Valentine's Day??? "Wrong boyfriend," she says. [People]
• Bai Ling's mugshot! [TMZ]

[Hollywood, February 4. Image via x17]

Earlier: Tuesday In The Park With Brad: Sugar-High Wind Sprints

• UK's News Of The World is reporting that Britney Spears is adopting Chinese twins. The paper isn't the type to have stories about the Loch Ness Monster dating Big Foot, but we still can't trust this "report." Seriously. [TMZ]
  
• Amy Winehouse was seen pulling something from her bra (not her beehive) and snorting it at a concert in London on Thursday. Think it was nasal spray? [Gatecrasher]
  
• But Amy may check into rehab in the new year, friends say. The trick isn't checking in, the trick is staying. [Daily Mail]
  
• Oprah Winfrey is the subject of an exposé. A man claims to have tapes in which an office manager speaks about Oprah's private life and business practices and reveal "what they don't want the public to know about [Oprah]." And yet he can't find a publisher for this project, hmm. [Page Six]

• Meanwhile, Oprah made a "secret trip" to South Africa Sunday and met with the student who claims to have been abused by a dorm matron and her parents. "Oprah looked beautiful and was so easy to talk to. It went very smoothly," the girl's father says. [People]
• At the 20-year celebration of The Princess Bride, actress Robin Wright Penn "looked phenomenal" while former costar Cary Elwes was unrecognizable. Maybe he should have walked around saying, "As you wish!" [Page Six]
• Rocker Pete Wentz has sent a cease-and-desist request to metal band Neurosonic over their new song that mocks Wentz's girlfriend, Ashlee Simpson. The band will probably respond by laughing and playing the song again. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which supposedly sober country queen seems to have tumbled off the wagon? The much-liked Southern singer had to be helped from the stage to her dressing room after a recent live appearance." [Gatecrasher, last item]
• When Tara Reid was a guest-star on Scrubs, she allegedly stank of booze and smokes. Blech. [Rush & Molloy]
• Director Todd Haynes on actress Charlotte Gainsbourg: "When she came on the set, I never wanted to be straight more in my life." [Rush & Molloy]
• Hulk Hogan's wife, Linda, has filed for divorce. The news was broken to the wrestling and reality star by a reporter from the St. Petersburg Times. [People]
• Us magazine asked Loveline host Dr. Drew Pinsky about Britney, and he says the fallen star is "a drug addict. We know that she is a drug addict because she's been admitted to a treatment center. You can't be admitted unless you've met criteria for addiction." He also says "It is hard to get through the sycophants who are enabling her and be able to find people around Britney who are willing to potentially sacrifice either their salary or their access to her by bringing her into treatment." [MSNBC]
• There's still some drama over the fact that Zahara Jolie-Pitt's biological grandmother told the adoption agency that Z's mother had died — and had witnesses sign paperwork affirming her statement — when in fact, the mother is alive and giving interviews to different news outlets. [Daily Mail]
• Does singer Kylie Minogue push herself during her shows to the point of collapse? [Daily Mail]
• Eunice Kennedy Shriver, sister of the late President John F. Kennedy and mother of Maria Shriver, has been hospitalized. [ET]

• Lindsay Lohan went to jail for her DUIs yesterday, serving about 84 minutes of hard time. (Two more minutes than Nicole Richie!) Now we can call her an ex-con. [TMZ]
  
• Amy Winehouse's tour manager quit! Thom Stone said working for Winehouse was hazardous to his health: He claims doctors found heroin in his system and he must have "inhaled it passively" on Amy's tour bus. Uh, is that even possible? [Daily Mail]
  
• Right before she bombed on stage on Wednesday, Amy Winehouse locked herself in the bathroom and sobbed uncontrollably, saying she couldn't go on without her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, there. [Mirror]
  
• Also, did Amy pull something out of her beehive and snort it??? [The Sun]

• Angelina Jolie's adoption of an Ethiopian baby was legal, the agency involved confirms. "The grandmother brought three witnesses to court who testified that Zahara's mother had died and that her father was unknown," the head of the agency says. He also claims reporters paid relatives to raise the dispute: "The controversy is media hype by unethical journalists exploiting the poverty of the grandmother." Who would do such a thing? CoughInTouchCough. [Reuters]
• More Heather Mills vs. Stella McCartney crap: Heather's crazytown L.A.-based publicist says Stella would only give Heather 10% at her boutique in London. That's cold! [Page Six]
• Mr. Big got someone knocked up! Sex And The City star Chris Noth is gonna be a baby daddy: His girlfriend Tara Wilson is about 5 months pregnant. [Page Six]
• Lance Armstrong has a statement to make! "Ashley Olsen and I are strictly friends. We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady." Sheryl Crow has a statement, too! "Lance and I are friends. What he does in his personal life... is none of my business. Nor would I ever comment on it." Hmm, friends who are not in each other's personal lives? Does this mean she never said he was "pathetic," as Life & Style claimed? [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson spent her time as cohost on The View plugging her clothing line instead of discussing current events. Stick to what you know, honey! [Page Six]
• Kim Kardashian says she posed nude for Playboy because "I'm not one of those stick-skinny girls you see. I felt like girls today need to see a normal body." Uh, Playboy is for girls? Good to know! [Rush & Molloy, 4th from bottom]
• John Mayer: "I'm kind of a douchebag." Wow. To thine own self be true! [TMZ]
• American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee, 23, is engaged to Nick Cokas, 42. Kat says the 19-year age difference was "never really a concern" because NiIck "makes things fun" and "we love business." Haha! [People]
• Paris Hilton is planning Nicole Richie's baby shower, but doesn't know what games to play or what gift to get. "She doesn't know if she's having a boy or a girl," says Paris. "I thought for sure she'd want to know, but she decided to wait." The party — with tunes by Sam Ronson — is happening Sunday at the Beverly Hills Hotel, in case you want to drop by. [E!]
• Oh, and friends of Samantha Ronson are insisting that she is a good influence on Lindsay Lohan. "Sam has stopped Lindsay from destructive behavior in the past," says a source. Sam herself says, "Those who know me know the truth." [Page Six]
• The Spice Girls performed at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in "1950s-style military outfits" for one number and evening gowns for another. Reunited and it feels so good! [E!]
• Actors from The Office and 30 Rock have been suspended on half-pay for five weeks. Some other networks are putting casts on unpaid hiatus. [Reuters]
• We posted about Lost stars Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan breaking up: Now the Hobbit has been seen smooching another woman. [Miami Herald]
• Alicia Keys would like everyone to know she is not a lesbian. "I'm as straight as they come," she says. Now that that's cleared up, we can start our day. [The Sun]

[New York, October 7. Image via INF]

[New York, October 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, September 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, September 10. Image via Splash]

[New York, September 7. Image via INF]

[New York, August 28. Image via Flynet]

[New York, August 28. Image via Flynet]

[New York, August 28. Image via Flynet]

[New York, August 28. Image via Flynet]

[New York, August 26. Images via Splash]

[New York, August 24. Image via INF]

[Chicago, August 11. Image via Splash]