NEW YORK, 4:34 AM, MON JUL 7 | 0 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@jezebel.com | RSS
Posts Tagged “

Vagina Monoblogs

vagina monoblogs

Washington Post Magazine Runs Livejournal-y Cover Story By Unemployed Male Blogger. So Where's The Sultry Photo Shoot?

Because one can never get one's fill of first-person newspaper Sunday magazine stories by unemployed people in which nothing much happens, I read a cover story in the Washington Post Magazine called "Terminated," wherein a man named T.M. Shine — and, you will be shocked to learn, he blogs! — gets laid off from his job and watches life collapse into a long malaisey mope-rock montage involving blueberry pancakes, paperwork, tear-inducing episodes of Extreme Makeover, and feeling like a john while meeting his old office manager in an abandoned Krispy Kreme parking lot to pick up the possessions the corporate overlords wouldn't give him time to pack. Unlike Emily Gould, Shine is not pictured in revealing loungewear, or at all. We learn he is: "a little older than Prince and not nearly as old as Jerry Seinfeld." We also learn that Laura, the office manager, is concerned his age/looks make him somehow unappetizing as a prospective hire. More »

vagina monoblogs

5 Things About That Times Magazine Piece On Masturbatory Blogging

Maybe you heard but there's a big story out about our generation's compulsive confessionalism written by my ex-colleague, former Gawker editor Emily Gould. Emily is also my friend, though there were times during the Year Of Magical Linking (cf. Xian) I wished she could just get a lobotomy. She was pretty and clever and adored and in the throes of an infatuation with a terribly self-centered young dude she spent wayyyyy too much time IM-ing everyone about. Whatever, she's back. And she's written something that should resonate with anyone who has ever dealt with his or her self-absorption by airing it all online, becoming a character in the lives of strangers, and pondering the morality of the need for an audience and whether morality is stupid when human existence is just one epic display of aggregated service to self. Yeah, I have a few miscellaneous, hangover-affected thoughts! More »

vagina monoblogs

Dear Rupert: If This Is Your Idea Of Appealing To Women…

Change is afoot at the Wall Street Journal: the storied newspaper (and my former employer) has launched a site for women that aims to draw in more readers from the sex that shops. Perhaps surprisingly, I'm not actually sure how I feel about this. On one hand, it's kind of genius that there is now a place for blog digressions on how the fuck that recently profiled Lehman Brothers executive manages due diligence in those stripper-height stilettos. On the other hand, pairing a week-old story about "curbing mindless eating" with a pic of Hillary Clinton is probably the type of cheap traffic driver that would offend me if I weren't lacking that reflex. And on that note, here's an amusing screengrab from today's Wall Street Journal I thought I would share with my women readers. More »

WowOWow is like Jezebel for women who actually know what a literal douchebag looks like. And it can be kinda infuriating! One post today is an elegy to the "ladykiller." ("Most lacked money, status, stability and looks. Italian poet and adventurer Gabriele D'Annunzio, the celebrated 'Don Juan' of the fin de siecle, was short, 'ugly' and usually poor, but the queenpins of Europe fainted at his feet.") Um, we are pretty sure those dudes still roam the earth. Then there is this thing about how Hillary Clinton reminds the author of this one time she got dumped for a less-intelligent young thing and she couldn't let it go and spent the next five years writing "articles, nominally on other topics, but really about him and the way he dumped me." Um, and this pertains to Hillary... ah whatever. I figure if I can't think of a good way to piss you guys off today, you might as well check them out. [WoWoW]

clips

Heather "Dooce" Armstrong, "Hot Geek" Husband Are Absolutely Adorable

Heather B. Armstrong, aka Dooce — whom people persist in calling a "Mommy Blogger" even though she's so much more — was on Nightline last night, talking about her blog and her family. I particularly related to the sweet relationship between Heather and her husband, Jon, whom she calls a "hot geek." Jon talks about how when Heather first started the blog, he used to be really uncomfortable about her discussing their life. "I'm a more private person than Heather," Jon explains. But they clearly worked through it with grace, and now the blog is so successful that Jon works for Dooce. "I get to sleep with the boss legally!" Jon exclaims. Clip above.

Earlier: Heather "Dooce" Armstrong Makes Kathie Lee Uncomfortable
Dooce: Proof That Not All Our Pregnancies Need To End In Abortion?

clips

Heather "Dooce" Armstrong Makes Kathie Lee Uncomfortable

Talk about ice queens on the Today show: This morning, Heather B. Armstrong met with Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford to talk about her award-winning, groundbreaking blog Dooce — is it just me or doesn't it seem a bit unfair to call it a "Mom Blog"? — and sat on the couch with her arms crossed the entire time, looking cold. (In temperature, not in spirit.) Maybe she was simply preparing herself for Kathie Lee's line of questioning. About three minutes into the interview, Kathie Lee admitted that she has "mixed emotions" about Armstrong's chosen line of work, then quickly changed the subject to tease the show's next segment about home decorating. Clip above.

Earlier: Dooce: Proof That Not All Our Pregnancies Need To End In Abortion?

vagina monoblogs

New York State Court Says Dishing About Your Divorce Online Is Legal, But "Ill-Advised"

Tricia Walsh-Smith, the playwright and soon-to-be-ex-wife of theater executive Philip Smith who posted a tearful, angry rant about her divorce on YouTube, isn't the only divorcĂ©e talking about her plight on the 'net. Today's New York Times discusses the pitfalls of broadcasting a breakup for the world to see, profiling Laurie, a Manhattan lawyer who produces a podcast called DivorcingDaze and was sued by her ex-husband for telling the world he "was having an affair with his boss from e-mail on his BlackBerry." A New York State court decided that, though Laurie's podcasts were "ill-advised and do not promote co-parenting," Laurie had a first-amendment right to continue Daze. More »

vagina monoblogs

New Canadian Dudeblogger Seems To Hate Dudes Just As Much As We Do

Edward Keenan writes a new blog called "Act Like A Man." He is one of those guys who feels superior to all the meatheads and misogynists and Maxim and insouciant unemployed selfish stoner types and psychotic hyperassholes modern masculinity comprises these days but he doesn't really derive much satisfaction from feeling superior so he's chosen to attack the problem with a blog aimed at deconstructing the various symptoms of this societal cancer and redefining manhood. (Pick-up artists, the bros before hoesism, etc.) It all started sarcastically, before he sort of swore off sarcasm, with Don Corleone-inspired column he wrote called Ask An Angry Man to a fictional emo depressive dude:
My advice to you, Deep Funk, is the same as The Don's — you could act like a man! I'm gonna write a self-help book for all the people like you who are always coming crying to me — "Oh, Angry Man, my parents were mean to me and now I'm screwed up." "Oh, Angry Man, I'm depressed and I can't leave the house." "Oh, Angry Man, I'm addicted to heroin and I can't stop taking it." "Oh, Angry Man, I started a war in Iraq and now everyone knows I'm evil."

More »

vagina monoblogs

Dooce: Proof That Not All Our Pregnancies Need To End In Abortion?

The Wall Street Journal peeks inside the — controversial! impassioned! and dare we say even more narcissistic than the regular blogosphere! — world that is the mommy blogosphere today, and first of all, we regret to inform you that self-righteous Babble daddyblogger Steve Almond quit last week in a fit of self-righteousness. And I meant to go trolling for more pointless mommyblog controversies with which to display some sort of snarkpower, but then I got sucked into the life of "stay at home mom or Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker" Dooce. Dooce is the superfamous blog of Heather Armstrong, a former "unemployed drunk" and depressive Hills fan and abundant resorter to profanity who got fired for internet indiscretion once and pretty much is the living blogging manifestation of my greatest fear: that not even expelling a human being from one's vagina is enough to make people like me grow up.
More »

Atehay Uckfays... "I tend not to date liberals, for a reason. Politics is so important to what I do and I follow it so much. I can't respect a guy who's liberal all that much because it makes me question his intelligence. So, that's a big minus because I'm thinking how smart can this guy be if he thinks John Kerry is a great politician? If he thinks Barack Obama would be a great President, I think, gee, how bright could this guy be?" That's conservababelogger Cassy Fiano, and there are five more eligible conservative bloggers dishing on dating and sex (Women hate men too much! Don't see movies!) if you click her pic. It's all thanks to the latest installment of Right Wing News's deep dive into the world of GOP pussy. And don't be too dissuaded! Some of them do date liberals, they just "convert" them...

memory laine

Claudia Kishi Of The Baby-Sitters Club: My First Fashion Muse

Someone named Kim has founded a blog analyzing the outfits of Claudia Kishi of the Baby-Sitters Club. Every single post is stirring these long-dormant emotions. Emotions that formed the basis of my very identity. Seriously, Claudia...where to begin? She was Japanese-American. She was only 12, but her awesome ensembles made her look at least fifteen. Claudia was wacky, unfiltered, studied and deliberate and sophisticated and truly outrageous all at once. Claudia was Harajuku before Harajuku; ahead of her time. Leggings! Feathers! Beads! Boots! I am glad Claudia was in middle school when I was eight, out of the age range of working at American Apparel. Claudia was a free spirit. Once Claudia was shown up by Stacey's friend Laine, who lived in Manhattan and dressed all in black. Laine looked at least nineteen. But Laine was sad, there was something tragic and vulnerable in all her snotty minimalism; Claudia possessed the carefree Whatthefuckery of the suburbs. I was never a Claudia girl; in fact, most of my post adolescent life has been about rejecting Claudia's sort of zany excess. As a kid I fancied myself more of a Dawn, actually. Remember when Claudia helped Dawn get dressed when they went on that Disney Cruise in the first Super Special? You will... More »

Disgraced Glamour dating blogger Mike Cherico is back in the news. He is looking for an agent to sell a book "about the rise and fall of a dating blogger." Because, not to rile up the simile pedantocracy, but being a shithead to girls and writing about it on the internet really is sort of like the Third Reich of our age. If you missed the saga, you can read the testimonial of the woman who blew the whistle on Cherico's genocidally bad manners here. (Fun fact: she scored 1500 on her SATs!) Cherico's predecessor, Alyssa Shelasky had this to say about him: "I think we had one proper date. It consisted of him drinking 15 margaritas and me paying the bill." Cherico has been replaced at Glamour by a coalition government of one male and one female blogger. Please read their efforts so we don't have to. [NY Times]

vagina monoblogs

Glamour Finally Dumps Mike Cherico. Can We Learn From This?

So we did it. Womanity put an abrupt end to the dating blogging career of Glamour's Mike Cherico. He is not the first Glamour contributor Jezebel has inadvertently helped to get canned. But he is far and away the worst. And I do not mean the "worst Glamour contributor Jezebel has inadvertently helped to get canned" or even the "worst Glamour contributor." Just the worst. We don't take pleasure in fucking people's careers publicly, and now is no exception. But Mike Cherico is an idiotic, deluded pathologically promiscuous coward with an identity composed of little more than decent looks and an incomprehensibly large well of self-esteem and now is the time for anyone who has enabled anyone even remotely like him to look deep within yourselves and ask how the fuck you didn't castrate him first. Men like Ben Karlin could not exist without men like Mike Cherico. To recap: More »

vagina monoblogs

The. Worst. Date. Ever., Brought To You By Glamour

We sort of dismissed Glamour "Man Needs Date" blogger, Mike "Edgy English Teacher" Cherico, early in his tenure as the type of jackass whose jackassiness was unworthy of analysis. It was too typical, too garden-variety L.A., lacking in that certain pathological je ne sais quoi that makes the Paul Jankas of this world so endlessly bloggable. Well. Color us OMG so wrong. Mike Cherico has been seeing a girl he calls "Miss Smarty Shoes." He even let her take over his blog one day, during which she...well you know, was about 1000x more insightful than he had ever been, obviously. (What's she doing with this guy? She lives in LA. I've been there.) Anyway. So...Mike and MSS made plans to see a concert. Then he freaked out that a cut on her lip was an indication she had herpes, decided to use the concert as an opportunity to paw the ass of another anonymous girl, then blog about it all the next day with a plea to concert girl to get in touch with him. It gets much worse, according to Miss Smarty Shoes' account, which has since been removed from her blog, but which we of course, preserved for posterity. Turns out Mike is something like a thirty year old male Lohan! Only, you know, he teaches kids. Fun parts bolded! More »

fatwas

Meet Bikini Blogger Pamela Geller. She Is Like Ann Coulter Meets The Real Housewives. She Is Amazing.

We are not going to beat around the, uh, pubes: we did not really dive into a piece on "5 Female Conservative Bloggers" expecting to find new role models/heroines for Jezebel readers to admire/encourage/etc.. But HOLY SHIT, how did we never hear of Pamela Geller? Pamela's blog is called Atlas Shrugs. She has an MBA. "I'm not a feminist, I'm an anti-feminist," she tells Right Wing News."That whole movement...is rooted in Marxist-Leninist propaganda." Today's post is basically about how Barack Obama is the tool of Colombian paramilitary drug cartels, Hugo Chavez and Al Qaeda. (Wait, actually, every post is about that.) But her big claim to internet fame came when she posted a video blog entry while wearing a bikini back in the summer of '06. See, she was in Israel, and she felt it was important to illustrate the fact that although the scrappy little underfunded self-defense outfit of Israel was in the throes of a bloody war with a colossal superhuman enemy no mortal thought they could ever beat, she wasn't yet being forced to don a burka. "They haven't declared Sharia law yet!" she says. Oh, please go watch this. Her accent is SO PRICELESS. More »

vagina monoblogs

Beauty Bloggers Are The Lowest Form Of Freeloader

A story in the Times today chronicles the "growing power" of beauty bloggers. Hey, how come we never read those?, we wondered, and resolved to end that neglectful habit today and point our clickers to every one of the Top 10 Beauty Blogs as anointed by last week's WWD. Wrote Fabulista over at beautybloggingjunkie (Motto: "Beauty is the promise of happiness"): "Kiehl's in-store customers can also customize lip trios for Valentine's Gifts!" (punctuation hers.) Meanwhile over at Makeupbag, we learn "this limited-edition Clarins Single Eye Colour in Sunny Yellow is making us very happy today." AllAboutThePretty was all about the new "hip" line being marketed to the blog generation by Avon. "How cute is this mark Little Block Box palette by Avon. It contains the cutest baked shimmer cubes." Nice vocab! But all was not well in the beautyblogosphere, as the more introspective Nadine Haobsh (pictured) had actually read the New York Times story:
Oh no! It makes us look like swag whores."
Hahahahaha. More »

vagina monoblogs

Dear "Baby Daddy" Steve Almond: Ever Heard Of That Saying,"You Can't Have It All"?

Steve Almond and Jane Roper are two bloggers for the parenting website Babble who recently decided, "in the spirit of blog-raderie", to have a play date and blog about it on their respective blogs. Ruh-oh! "Josie seems so sweet and sociable on her dad's blog, but in reality, I'm sorry to report, she's a total prima donna," wrote Jane of the child Steve allegedly referred to as "high superior queen of the baby blogosphere." Rebutted Steve re Jane's twins: "They do have one major thing going for them: they know how to sit still. Really really well." Then Jane captioned a photo: "Note how my girls are sweetly fawning all over [Josie] while all she cares about is trying to get into a more flattering pose for the camera." Ha ha ha! So it's pretty obvious, the "play date from hell" was a joke destined to poke fun at the way Blog Age mommies and daddies find in their children warm vessels onto which they can once and for all project all the narcissism and greed they hid so shamefully as singles. More »

vagina monoblogs

Haley And Elaine Are Best Friends Who Hate Each Other. Can A Blog Save Their Bond?

"Haley" is one of those overeducated-underemployed, vain-but-deep-down sweet, funny, drunkorexic thirtysomethings olds living in the den of suspended hipsterlescence that is Portland; "Elaine" is a "reg" who used to be something of a hipster-lite but got married and knocked up and obsessed with her Judaism. They're those best friends who have grown to hate each other, and my God Tolstoy could have made to Oprah's book club a second time if he had addressed that one, but in the meantime Haley and Elaine are kind of OMG addictive. Because, see, instead of letting their resentments fester and form fodder for Carolyn Hax columns, they've decided to let it all out on the internets like a real-time "Can This Friendship Be Saved." Here's Elaine after a birthday trip (Scorpio, natch) to the (kind of awesome bar) Doug Fir.
Sadly, the night just confirmed what I have known for some time: I have the superior life. That Robby from Good for the Jews - what a Jonah! - is the kind of man you should be dating: funny, creative, Jewish and obviously very smart. He graduated from a REAL Ivy League college - not the hippy commune you attended.
Um, what's a "Jonah"? They have an ingenious popup. More »