Creative Writing Contest: How I Went To Prom And Soiled The Pretty Pretty Dress I Found In The 2007 'Cosmo Girl Prom'

We here at Jezebel spend a lot of time longing for a time when we weren't so goddamn bitter and sardonic, and from your heartfelt comments and feedback we think you readers can help. Flipping through the latest issue of Cosmo Girl PROM, we had an idea along those very lines: a themed creative writing contest! Specifically, a creative writing contest about how you lost your virginity at prom, in the voice of one of the nubile maidens in the prom dress advertisements we have posted after the jump. Think of it as a chance to restore our philosophical virginity...or better yet, think of it as joke porn! Send to tips@jezebel.com before this time next Friday to win...prizes we will determine at some point next week. Here's our (idiotic) sample entry, from the morning BEFORE prom, to get your creative juices shoo-, uh, flowing:

Soooo tonight is the most important night of my life... junior prom.... I was going to wait until senior prom but my feelings for brian have reached such a smolder that to not consumate our feelings on this balmy night would be like i was cowering before my true identity...never in my life have i felt so feircely ME as i did when I first slipped on this ravishing coral gown which is NOTHING like the skanky short dress i wore for homecoming because it shows just a sliver of leg which is symbalic for how i have evolved as a woman...

brian said i was as "radiant as the rosy fingered dawn" in the color which was confusing at first because i thought he was talking about the time he tried to finger me when i had my period but melissa says is something from shakespear or something....anyway brian your fingers can get some rest because tonight is the night that 2 become 1!!!! melissa says we remind her of heidi and spencer on the hills which you might not think because heidi is blonde and my hair is raven colored but true passion knows no hair colors and i think she is right.... even heidi's MOM can tell how in love she and spencer really are, like heidi's mom understands who she really is inside, where all my mom said when i showed her my gown is that i needed to stick bandaids on my boobs....

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