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#mystery
Remember Mystery, from VH1's The Pick Up Artist? We got an awesome email from a male reader who was out in LA last night with his two female roommates. He went to go to the bathroom and when he returned, Mystery was hitting on the two girls, and trying to perform magic tricks that reminded our reader more of Gob from Arrested Development, than of a professional Casanova. He confronted Mystery on his trademark "neg" strategy, in which he tries to insult women to lure them in. Mystery denied that, and then awkwardly walked away. But not before our reader stole his goggles! Click on Mystery to see photos of the famous goggles. More » -
#howtotextagirl
This just in from the newest addition to our BlackBerry contacts, in approximately nineteen out-of-order installments we had to piece together to add to the MYSTERY: "Lots of misquotes and the joke about my being dr dolittle little and incapable of reducing where people are from (remember 212 i was was Chicago tho I also told u was in NYC) was the joke of it all which seemed to go overlooked haa. Wow commentS show people take things so seriously like when Lovedrop made jokes like so are you hot as if he was socialized enough to know exactly what he was saying. Fun break from the norm. Cheers. Nap time with my playboy model before pitch two. First one was fun." -
#pickupartists
My Mid-Morning Conversation With VH1's "Mystery"
Today the esteemed news service Afrojacks posted a number purporting to belong to VH1 Pick-Up Artist Mystery, host of VH1's The Pick-Up Artist. I dialed it, and was greeted by a welcoming voice. Then, a disconnect. Then, a ring! I picked up and commenced conversing with a man caller ID identified as VON MARKOVIC, ER on subjects ranging from lesbian porn to his love of the band Tool to Scott Baio's shortcomings to period sex to Carl Sagan to his appreciation for the art of mutual posterior-licking. And not to indulge in such a thing, but I was charmed! After the jump, the full text of my conversation, or at least, some version of the full text based on what I typed while trying to think of what the fuck someone who actually knew if Eric Von Marcovik was Mystery (Google: yes) would ask the most famous man in the world.
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#trashtv
'The Pick Up Artist' Finally Offends Our Delicate, Female Sensibilities
Last night's episode of VH1's The Pick Up Artist was the first one to actually offend us as women. Previous lessons given by the show's protagonists, Mystery, and his buddies Matador and J Dog, seemed so retarded they were harmless. Besides, their intent seemed to be focusing on giving the poor schlubs under their care some self-esteem, not weapons of deception to be used against women. But last night, the guys were taken to meet a group of little girls to practice their conversational skills. The lesson? That women are like children and can be controlled and easily influenced if dealt with a certain way. Ugh. Anyway, in the clip above, Mystery shows Pradeep how to establish "compliance" in a "gambit." These guys are so fucking D&D, how they rename simple things—like anecdotes and establishing personal space—with fanciful terms. Alls we know is that if someone used that finger gambit on us, we'd poke him in the eye. After the jump, we take a look at Mystery's mysteries. More » -
#trashtv
'The Pick Up Artist': Extreme Makeover Edition
We're sort of gutted about the fact that Spoon decided to leave The Pick Up Artist last night, so we've assembled a tribute clip. His roly-poly awkwardness and sweet giggle was growing on us. However, we totally understand why he wanted out of there, and actually, we respect him even more for it. Just before Spoon's exit, Mystery told him that he's not "a special snowflake." We're still trying to figure out if that was an insult or a compliment. OMG! We're actually left thinking about shit Mystery says! Does that mean he just "opened our set"? After the jump, let's laugh at Mystery's clothes. More » -
#clips
'The Pick-Up Artist' Seals Our Vaginas Shut
The Pick-Up Artist, VH1's new reality show that premiered last night, is sort of like Charm School but for guys—guys who not only lack game, but apparently a set of balls. Of the eight adult men in the house, half of them are virgins — including a 45-year-old — and all of them have difficulty talking to women. This is where a guy named 'Mystery' comes in. A "master pick up artist" who wears eyeliner, fuzzy top hats you'd expect to find at Spencer Gifts, feather-accented trench coats, and has a lebret pierced through his flavor saver, he and his pals 'J Dog' and 'Matador' are on hand to teach the guys how to approach and woo a woman. Each episode, one guy will be eliminated based on his lack of progress, until there is one guy left standing, who will then receive $50,000 and get to "travel with the world" with Mystery. In the clip above, the professionals show the dorks how it's done as they work the room with cheesy bar banter. Seriously, would any of these tactics work on you? But the biggest mystery of all? This show is kind of fascinating! More »
