was this the first jezzie post ever?

FIRST!!!11

I'm recording my star acceptance with this post. Also, the fact that I unearthed the first Jez post makes me better then ND, since he stole my s(Pot).
I can haz less time to do this kind of thing?

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: you betch don't pontificate!!!

Party over here!!

drunk jessi wants to say she luvvvvvvvvvvvvvs Nodoubt and Eraser and they should come snuggle with her to watch top model.

What the??

@formergr: THEY FOUND THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT!

I'm confused and lost...mommy?

@Jessi Ramsey: *grooves to jefferson airplane*

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]: "One pill makes you largerrrrr. And one pill makes you smalllll."
*passes you a glowstick necklace*

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]:
SERGIO'S FUTURE MARRIAGE IS NOW LEGAL!*
I'm in that picture, yo!
*Rainbow streaks in my hair tonight, y'all! CELEBRATE!
@Jessi Ramsey: Yay! You got the invite!
Also- since I haven't commented in a few years, I think I'm sort of dead?
I will never die. Unless my star is taken from me. *Sadface*
I'm high! And predictable in my pot consumption!

@Jessi Ramsey: @eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: *waves glowstick necklace and rainbow flag*

wait, I don't see waldo anywhere!

or are we looking for WMDs?

@Sukie in the Graveyard: YES! wearers of muddy dungarees! them hippies made it all hazy in here. *brings patchouli*

@Sukie in the Graveyard:Waldo killed Dubya! He's in hiding! That's why the war started!
The new book. I will make it!*
So. There is a reason!
Can I have my money now? Or weed? Or both?
I'm definitely going to overuse this pot thing.
This comment is not all random. It's an illusion. You just can't see it.
Where am I?

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: you're in a jar and i broke your pen!

this thing is already eating up my comments? or is that your munchies eraserhead?

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: Ooo! There is weed here now too? Well I'll go grab my psychedelic rainbow mini-dress. Both for California and to also match my bowl.

@Jessi Ramsey: Lilo leggings allowed!

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]:
Moja wodka nie woda, ona jest moja kurwa. Ty i my dla po polsku twoj chuj . Co to jest? Katarzyna i samochod.
Or if you aren't rad enough to know Polish (ND) it means:
My vodka is not water, it is my whore. You and my affinity for the Polish chuj*. What's this? Katarzyna and car.
*Cock.
Guffaw with me!
I wish this was more relevant.

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: jestes moja byla piosenka!!!

alors, je pense que tout le monde n'a pas encore vu cette article. Je voudrais savoir plus à propos d'Eurotrash et sa rôle.

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]:
Yeah, in all srs*ness, I wanna know why I've only seen a few posts by her.
*Not a very serious word. Lulz.

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: I want two of what you're having.
And you guys, the dude up in the picture who sadly kills himself 45 minutes later is mad kinds of cute. I think he might be wearing glasses and boys wearing glasses are incredibly hot. Hell, I'll take the groom too. And the "likes computers".

@Jessi Ramsey: i like all the guys in the back row. *is a whore*

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]: Its all good. Me too. Me too.
Maaaan, lusting after dudes in a church pciture. You can just tell it's a been awhile for me.

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]: Kłamcą!
@Jessi Ramsey: It's only mother earth and this Amazingly Awesome telegram I received via 90's time travel-

NSFW

(May cause a rare form of seizure and/or increase in self-esteem)

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: Actually, no.
This is the one. It is ecstasy in visual form!

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...:
Um, auditory form?
Gaaaah. I should really stay away from the internets and phone when I'm high.
And school. Especially testing days.

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESUS!1!@#!): I see your Vanilla Ice topped with Babes In Toyland raise you this:

@Jessi Ramsey: @eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...:
MATMOS RULES

@Jessi Ramsey:
This is making me shit bricks. Classic.

peeeps the greatest show on earth!

I give you Zack Braff on The Baby Sitters Club saving trees with the that self righteous health nut Dawn:

And I wonder, who gets paid for these page views?

@Jessi Ramsey: that's exactly what i was thinking!

2006? You mean to tell me that Jezebel was lurking more a year in advance of her public debut?

This post is kinda like walking right up to the moment God said "let there be light." Or, for the scientific types, showing up at the very moment a dot smaller than this next period exploded into the universe it would soon become.

Eurotrash, I don't know what happened between here and the official debut, but I salute you for this test post.

Has anybody read the '06 posts by Eurotrash? So much snarkier and bitchier in tone. I second Cameron Thirteen's salute to Eurotrash.

@nolongerinacubiclebutstillawhore!: yeah they have their own blog too (i think)

Morning, loves!

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]: P.S. I love Dead Like Me. It's one of the few things I watch on KCAL 9.

So I'm just getting back to the game here, but @Jessi Ramsey: I love it, the Room of Requirements!! And I so wish I could find one of those here at my office...I'm pretty sure most days it would just have a super-comfy bed and an alarm clock in it so I could nap.

Also, the Babysitter's Club video with Zach Braff? Ha! I actually remember that episode from way back when, but never made the connection that it was him in it.

@cubiclewhore: aaah yes i still don't know why KCAL 9 exists.

@nodoubt9203 [God has a voice, she speaks through you]:
Good morning everyone!
I just wanted to announce: this page will never be forgotten. Or dead. We want to get on the masthead thingy! Or whatever it's called.
I love Jezebel! And grilled cheese! Which I'm eating right now because of the above mentioned munchies.
Unrelated- does anyone else thing Jonas Armstrong (aka British Robin Hood) and his smile is teh hawtnezz?
That is if anyone is still here. Don't leave! Traitor!

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: Jonas Armstrong and Callum Blue sandwich for me please!

Y'all know what I love? Wine. And penis.

I had to go back, I just had to go back even further, to the point where the old universe collapsed into a dot smaller than this next period.

It's impossible, for there is void before 12:21 PM, May 23, 2006.

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: You crazy kid. Thank you for having all the time in the world to check the archives and randomly deciding to see how far down the rabbit hole truly goes.

@Cameron Thirteen: OY!!! I'M the one with all the time in the world lol, i WAS the first one to comment. hmph.

Morning to all my favorite Jezzies for finding this awesomeness of Jezebel heaven, or as Jessi proclaimed the Room of Requirement!

How excited am I for the Gossip Girl finale? Very!!!

@cubiclewhore: OOOOO GIIIRRRLLLL! I am having to choose b