[Seville, December 14. Image via INF]

1. Jennifer Aniston/2. Brad Pitt, Y2K: When this picture was taken in February of 2000, Pitt and Aniston had been dating for roughly two years. Just a few months later, the two were married, a union that lasted until 2005, when the couple split and Pitt moved on to Angelina Jolie. The story was a tabloid dream come true, with lurid tales of Pitt, Jolie, and Aniston creating a soap opera storyline that's still being played out, nearly 5 years later: just this week, Star Magazine ran a cover declaring that Jennifer Aniston was finally ready for baby..."with Brad's help!"


3. Angelina Jolie, Y2K: But the Brangelina storm hadn't swept through Jolie's life in 2000; at that point, she was married to Billy Bob Thornton, and delighting/horrifying the press with tales of their torrid love affair. Jolie claimed that she wore a vial of Thornton's blood around her neck, and the two weren't shy about discussing their sex life on the red carpet. By 2002, Jolie had adopted her first child, Maddox, and by 2003, Thornton and Jolie had divorced.


Jennifer Aniston, 2009: Aniston has spent the better part of the decade living in the tabloids; after Friends went off the air in 2004, she segued into a movie career, though the public seemed more interested in the scandal surrounding her divorce from Pitt. She has been painted as "lonely" and "desperate" by many a tabloid magazine, even though she's dated several famous men, including John Mayer and Vince Vaughn. Though the Brangelaniston blitz shows no signs of slowing, Aniston continues to make films and most likely hopes that the world moves past her 5-year-old divorce as we enter a new decade.


Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie, 2009: Jolie and Pitt, arguably the world's most famous couple, have gone on to have three biological children together; Pitt has also adopted Jolie's adopted children, and all of their children share the surname "Jolie-Pitt." The couple have devoted much of their energy to charity work through their Jolie/Pitt Foundation. and, like Aniston, I assume, to trying to break out of the Brangelina media blitz. Jolie, who 10 years ago spent time discussing the vials of blood around her neck, has since become a UN Goodwill Ambassador and is well-known for her humanitarian efforts.


4. Britney Spears, Y2K: Britney was on top of the world in 2000, riding the success of her second album, Oops...I Did It Again. In 2001, she performed her now-infamous "I'm A Slave 4U" dance at the MTV Video Music Awards, snake, see-thru bodysuit, and all, but things started to come off the rails in 2002, when her relationship with Justin Timberlake came to an end. Timberlake's solo career skyrocketed with songs about how Britney did him wrong, and Spears' career, and carefully marketed sexy virgin image, began to crumble.


In 2004, Spears married Kevin Federline (it was technically her first marriage, after an ill-advised 24 hour marriage to a childhood friend in Vegas). The marriage would produce two sons for Spears, Sean Preston and Jayden James, but it would also produce a number of disturbing problems.


By 2008, Spears and Federline had divorced, and Spears' erratic behavior had cost her custody of her two children. She spent most of her time in court or driving around Los Angeles, wearing wigs and stopping at gas stations and Starbucks shops. Spears' behavior become increasingly bizarre, with the pop star shaving her head on camera and giving a disastrous performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. After she was hospitalized twice for psychiatric reasons, her father, Jamie Spears, won the right to a conservatorship over his daughter. Spears' career and personal life were then intensely monitored and controlled by her father.


Britney Spears, 2009: By 2009, Spears' personal life and career appear to be back on track; she embarked on a world tour behind her successful record, Circus, has extended visitation rights with her children, and her conservatorship may end soon, leaving her in control of her own destiny for the first time in years. Hopefully, the next decade will be a little easier for Britney than the last one was.


5. Beyonce Knowles, Y2K: Beyonce, circa Y2K, was still with her group, Destiny's Child, figure skating across America, recording hits like "Independent Woman, Part 1" for the Charlie's Angels soundtrack. After several successful Destiny's Child singles like "Bootylicious," (which she co-wrote) Beyonce decided that we were, in fact, ready for this jelly, and decided to strike out on her own with her 2003 album, "Dangerously In Love." Destiny's Child split in 2005, and Knowles' solo career has been going strong ever since.


Beyonce Knowles, 2009: By 2009, Knowles had established a wildly successful solo career, introduced the world to her alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, married long-time boyfriend Jay-Z in a private ceremony, and branched out into acting with roles in Dreamgirls and Cadillac Records. Her video for "Single Ladies" is perhaps one of the most memorable videos of 2009, if not the entire decade.


6. Tom Cruise & 7. Nicole Kidman, Y2K:Though it seems a bit hard to picture at this point, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman started the decade as a married couple; in 2001, they'd split after 11 years of marriage.


Nicole Kidman, 2009: Kidman's career skyrocketed after her divorce from Cruise; in 2003, she received the Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours. Kidman went on to marry country music star Keith Urban in 2006, and in 2008 the couple had a daughter together named Sunday Rose.


Tom Cruise, 2009: Tom Cruise's career hasn't fared as well as his ex-wife's this decade. His career tanked following an incredibly weird series of television appearance, such as a Today show appearance wherein he called Matt Lauer "glib" and accused him of not understanding the history of psychiatry like Cruise did, as well a now-infamous appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show during which Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch to declare his love for actress Katie Holmes, whom he married in 2006. The couple's marriage that year, as well as the birth of their daughter, Suri, has made them a tabloid favorite ever since, with Tom's association with Scientology often overshadowing both of their acting careers.


8. Whitney Houston, Y2K: Whitney started the decade with a Grammy Award for Best R&B Female Vocal Performance, but her career faltered as the decade went on. Accusations of drug use ("crack is wack") swirled around her marriage, which was documented for a depressing reality show called Being Bobby Brown, which showed a side of Houston the public had never seen before (and gave The Soup one of its favorite catchphrases). Houston divorced Brown in 2006, went to rehab for what she now admits was drug addiction, and began to get her career together.


Whitney Houston, 2009: In 2009, Houston returned with her album, I Look To You, discussed the difficulties of the past decade in a tell-all interview with Oprah and received a standing ovation at the American Music Awards following a performance of "I Didn't Know My Own Strength."


9. Lindsay Lohan, Y2K:, Lohan, shown here in 2001, began the decade under the Disney umbrella, starring in films like Freaky Friday and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Her breakthrough came with 2004's Mean Girls and the release of her first album, Speak, though troubles in her personal life soon seemed to follow, with the actress being accused of having everything from an eating disorder to self-harming issues to drug addiction.


Lindsay Lohan, 2009: It has not been a great second half of the decade for Lohan; her last few years in the press have been dominated family troubles, her on again-off again relationship with Samantha Ronson, rumors of violent and erratic behavior, and film duds like I Know Who Killed Me and the straight-to-television Labor Pains. Yet Hollywood loves a comeback story, so we'll have to see what the next decade has in store for Lilo.


10. Joaquin Phoenix, Y2K: Phoenix started the decade by scoring an Academy Award nomination for his performance in Gladiator; a second nomination would come in 2005 for his portrayal of Johnny Cash in Walk The Line. In 2008, he shifted gears and began focusing on his rap career, which confused pretty much everyone.


Joaquin Phoenix, 2009: By 2009, Phoenix claimed he was retiring from acting to work on his rap career full-time. He discussed his plans during a now-infamous appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, appearing completely out-of-it and nearly unrecognizable behind shades and a grizzled beard. Phoenix claims his rap career is "not a joke," and his transformation from actor to rapper is being filmed for an upcoming documentary by his brother-in-law, Casey Affleck. Whether or not Phoenix's career change will be successful (or if it's all an elaborate hoax) is yet to be seen, but I suppose all will be revealed at some point during the next decade. After all, you never know what can happen in just 10 years.

[Seville, Spain; December 8. Image via INF]

[Seville, Spain; December 6. Image via Flynet.]

• Katie Holmes doesn't see anything wrong with 3-year-old Suri wearing high heels. "Like every little girl, she loves my high heels," says Katie. "They're actually ballroom dancing shoes for kids... I found them for her and she loves them." [Us]

• Katie Holmes didn't do much cooking on Thanksgiving. "I do love to bake, but this year my sisters did all the baking and I just sort of enjoyed it," said Holmes. "I ate all of their baking!" [Extra]
• Tiger Woods won't play at the Chevron World Challenge golf tournament this week due to "injuries sustained in a one-car accident last week." He posted a statement on his website saying, "I am extremely disappointed that I will not be at my tournament this week ... I am certain it will be an outstanding event and I'm very sorry that I can't be there." [TMZ]
• A source claims Tiger Woods yelled at his wife "You've ruined our Thanksgiving! Are you happy now?" before storming out and crashing his car early Friday morning. His neighbor Joy Williamson says, "Everything has to be perfect for Tiger. Something at home must have upset him. I think he was probably just furious about something, got in that big Escalade and drove off." [Radar Online]
• The security cameras at Tiger Woods' home caught him leaving and the Florida Highway Patrol wants the tapes. [TMZ]
• Two Florida Highway Patrol troopers visited the hospital where Tiger Woods was treated on Friday morning. Witnesses say they were looking for information about his visit, though they aren't formally seeking a warrant yet. [TMZ]
• An eyewitness says at the scene of the accident Tiger Woods was unconscious on the ground and had a bloody cut on his lower lip. His wife Elin Nordgren was upset and brought out two pill bottles when EMTs asked if he was on any medications. [TMZ]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: Totally back on. They were offered a seat at the back of a New York restaurant on Thanksgiving night, but decided to sit in the front where everyone could see them kissing. [Perez Hilton]
• "They came in holding hands and kept touching each other and kissing throughout the entire meal," says a source. "They had no problem flaunting their love right in the middle of the restaurant. They definitely looked like they were head-over-heels for each other." [Star]
• Ojani Noa's agent threatened to file the 11 hours of racy home video he took while married to Jennifer Lopez as public evidence. J.Lo's lawyer responded that his "attempt to romanticize his threatened unlawful conduct and turn it into a Jimmy Stewart movie does not make his conduct any less illegal or make him any less culpable." He pointed out that making the videos public would violate a temporary restraining order. Both parties are due back in court tomorrow. [Radar Online]
• Chris Judd, Jennifer Lopez's other ex-husband, married Kelly A. Wolfe last week. [Us]
• There's a picture of White House party crasher Michaele Salahi attending a 2005 event for former Washington Redskins cheerleaders, but the team has no record of her being part of the squad. [TMZ]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps of The Real Houswives of New York said of the incident, "I was surprised that they got in. That's the most unbelievable thing: that they were able to get through. I do believe that Bravo really didn't know... I believe these people said that they were invited, they kind of made them believe that, and then they got in!" [N.Y. Magazine]
• Roman Polanski won't be released into house arrest at his Alpine chalet for a few more days, according to the French consul. Polanski still hasn't deposited his $4.5 million bail and the electronic monitors need to be set up. [Reuters]
• French diplomat Jean-Luc Faure-Tournaire visited Roman Polanski in jail today and reported, "He is in good spirits. He is very happy about how he has been treated here." [AP]
• Law enforcement sources say the decision on whether criminal charges will be made against Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death is "months rather than weeks away." [Reuters]
• Brittany Murphy was fired from a film she was shooting in Puerto Rico because she was being difficult on set. She was replaced by Twilight's Rachelle Lefevre. In a possibly related incident, Murphy's husband Simon Monjack got into a fight with some locals, then seemed "incoherent" when he arrived back at LAX. [Perez Hilton]
• Lady Gaga slipped at a performance in Canada. She got up immediately and kept dancing. Video here: [TMZ]
• Police say Anthony Michael Hall bit his girlfriend Diana Falzone's forehead and "pushed, shoved and spit at her" during a fight earlier this month at her apartment. The next day he came back drunk and banged on her door until police removed him. She obtained a temporary restraining order against him. [Radar Online]
• Pete Doherty has apologized for singing the Nazi anthem "Deutschland, Deutschland ueber alles" during a Munich concert that was broadcast live on Saturday. He was booed offstage and threw his mic at the moderator after she asked him to leave. "He was unaware of the controversy surrounding the German national anthem and he deeply apologizes if he has caused any offence," said Doherty's spokeswoman. [Reuters]
• Adam Shankman, the director of the upcoming film adaptation of the musical Rock of Ages, says the rumors that Miley Cyrus will star in the film aren't true. "It's way too soon," Shankman said. "I love it, though. She went to see the show and she loved it and then I had to email her and say, 'I hear you're starring in my movie. Fantastic! Congratulations!' It was just so crazy. She saw the show and that was all." [E!]
• Q: "Did you catch any flak for doing those raunchy GoDaddy commercials? Danica Patrick: "Like I said, they are incredibly successful and are growing every year. They definitely know how to direct traffic to the Web site and drive their business. I'm excited to be part of a successful company." [AdWeek]
• While speaking to a group of secondary school students at a workshop on homophobic bullying, Sir Ian McKellen said, "Being gay was a topic that was never mentioned when I was your age. We had not really invented the word gay - at school I used to be called Oscar, after Oscar Wilde. If you were gay there was nowhere to go and no one to talk to, there was no other gay person as far as I knew. So to come back to school for the first time in 50 years and see this is heartening, to see that as a nation we have so rapidly grown up. When I was 29 it was illegal for me to make love, I had a boyfriend and we slept together but the law said that we should be in prison. It was very hard to walk out in the street and say to him don't touch me or brush your hand against mine, there may be a police man around the corner." [The Telegraph]

Ok!
"I'll Love Him Forever." This article, titled "Our Love Story," is about how Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are "like an old married couple." Why? Because they would drive to the set of Eclipse together, and, when headed home, one would wait for the other to get out of wardrobe and makeup. Oh, and Rob is like a "human magnet" for Kristen. They love each other, etc. BREAKING: Heels are not rain boots, Suri Cruise! (See image 7) Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are "prepping for parenthood" by getting a dog. Lindsay Lohan has been partying all night every night in the last few days. The source here is a paparazzo who follows LL. He says: "After 4, 5, 6 in the morning, she's really crazy. She screams and yells and says very mean things, even though she knows us very well." Maybe she doesn't want to be followed at 5 am? Anyway, another "friend" says Lindsay refuses to go to rehab: "We ask, we beg, but she won't listen."
Grade: F (headlice)

Us
"Her Secret Deal."
Katie Holmes is sad and lonely because she's "committed herself" to a seven-year contract and Tom tells her what to wear, how to cut her hair and when to work out. "He even told her to be pale like Nicole [Kidman]," says a source. Meanwhile, Suri is 3 going on 30 with her heels and San Pelligrino and so on. As for Katie, the mag says her "situation" will "not improve until November 2013," when her contract is up. Moving on: Recently at a West Hollywood nightclub, Lindsay Lohan shouted at two photographers: "Why don't you go find my dad? He's the one who wants the pictures." Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are stalking the stork; a source says: "Gwen has told friends she's trying for another baby." In Rob and Kristen news, they ordered the same thing for room service breakfast recently — and had it delivered to one room, which means, OMG, he slept over. A hotel staffer adds, "They were already dressed when room service was delivered." You can practically feel the magazine's disappointment! In case you're unsure of the milestones in the "Robsten" relationship, Us has provided a handy timeline (See image 8). Jon Gosselin is threatening to have a showdown on Thanksgiving because Kate Gosselin plans to invite her bodyguard, Steve Neild. A source says Jon's jealous: "Even though he knows it's over with Kate, he still can't stand the thought of her being with another man, especially Steve." Another source says Kate's constantly on the phone with Steve, "smiling like a teenager" and "I haven't heard her yell in two weeks." Lastly, Jennifer Aniston and two friends flew via private jet to the One & Only Palmilla resort in Cabo San Lucas. "On Aniston's agenda? Morning yoga sessions, lying by the pool, and being waited on hand and foot."
Grade: F (peeling scalp)

Life & Style
"Tears, Joy, And Drama At The Baby Shower."
While the magazine does not flat-out claim that it sponsored Kourtney Kardashian's baby shower, the guests drank from soda bottles decorated with with Kourtney's Life & Style cover (See image 9). And the magazine says: "Life & Style and Simmons jewelry company gave Kourtney a limited edition Hello Kitty necklace made from white gold, enamel and diamonds." Price? $950. There were 84 guests at the party, and they got chocolate Louboutin shoes and swag bags — it was a publicity event, not a baby shower. Each sister gave an exclusive interview to the magazine, which is where the "drama" comes in — Khloe and Kim used to hate Kourtney's baby daddy Scott Disick, because he was accused of cheating on Kourtney, but now they like him, because "he's done small things" like putting the crib together. And he got a job. With QuickTrim. For which the Kardashians are spokesmodels. Moving on: Michael Lohan is trashing Jon Gosselin and the way he treated Kate Major: "You sleep with a woman, you gain her confidence by saying you're going to hire her, then you use her like that?I spoke to Stephanie Santoro, and it was the same thing." Here are three ways Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are copying Angelina and Brad: First they denied they were in a relationship; then they get people used to the idea of them as a couple with an intimate photo shoot in a fashion magazine; then they GRADUALLY show PDA (see image 10). Also inside: Michael Lohan says: "I will not release another audio tape about Lindsay. I did it because I wanted Lindsay to know how I felt when I heard that tape. When I get a phone call at 2, 3, 4, 5 in the morning from my daughter and she's in dire straits, I get very concerned." Lastly: Michael Jackson's funeral cost $1,146,518.62, and the mag itemizes that receipt for you (See image 11).
Grade: D- (clumps of hair falling out)

In Touch
"Yes! They'll Reunite!"
Re: The cover image: Do you love how they are Photoshopped together, with her arm disappearing into his chest? The cover copy reads: "Jen waits for Brad at the resort they love." But inside, what they mean is: She went to a hotel in Mexico she'd been to with Brad and "waited" for him to text her. "After a few glasses of wine on November 13, his pal reveals that Jen ducked away from her group of friends and exchanged a series of text messages with Brad that crossed the line from friendly to downright flirtatious." Oh, and you know how two tell-all books about Brangelina are coming out? Angelina's "tarnished" image is driving Brad away, and he thinks she's brought this on herself because of her addiction to attention. The copy reads: "Brad isn't worried about how the books will affect Angelina, but how they might hurt their children." A source says: "Maddox is old enough to Google his mom now, and Brad is afraid he'll get hurt." Jen's friend says: "Brad seems haggard. All Jen wants to to when she sees him is give him a big hug and tell him he'll be fine." Oh, and Brad and Jen have reconnected over Norman, Jen's sick dog — who used to be Brad's dog, too. Also inside: Geena Davis may have put on 50 lbs. Jennifer Garner may have lost 35 lbs. Britney Spears is in a "race to the altar." She's expecting Jason Trawick to propose over Christmas, and she wants to get married in the summer of 2010. Wait, is that a race? She wants bridesmaids, a gown and a four-tiered cake — a traditional wedding. (What, no pimps and hos sweatsuits?) "Britney wants to tie the knot ASAP to insure that Jason won't leave her again." She also wants her dad's conservatorship to end. Oh, and her dad wants her to start on another album after her tour, while Jason wants her to take a break — and he thinks her family is using her. Next: When Sarah Palin was on Oprah's show, things backstage were "tense." Did Nicole Kidman have a boob job? (See image 12) BREAKING: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were spotted getting off of a plane in Paris and HOLDING HANDS. "She grinned from ear to ear and snuggled into him happily," a source says. "They're obviously a couple and definitely in love." During their European trip, they booked separate rooms, but she ordered breakfast and coffee for two the day after they arrived. Lastly: a 41-year-old man named Matthew Roberts was adopted as a baby and found his birth mom in 1997, and she told him he was conceived when she was raped during a drug-fueled orgy involving Charles Manson and four other men. Why this story is here we have no idea, but the guy does look like Manson. (See image 13)
Grade: D- (matted hair)

Star
"Katie's $15 Million Tell All."
Since her contract expires on November 18 (TODAY), Katie is "prepared to pen an explosive and embarrassing exposé" of her life behind closed doors. She COULD get $15 million for her confessions. Like: They have separate bedrooms, and she says it's because Tom snores loudly, but Katie has hinted that they've never slept the whole night together. Tom likes it when Katie wears sexy lingerie, and Tom likes to "parade around the house in military uniforms," similar to the ones he wore in Top Gun, A Few Good Men and Valkyrie. "It makes him feel handsome," according to a source. Tom spends hours each day in front of the mirror, checking out his wrinkles and love handles. He also waxes his chest regularly and gets colonics. Tom lets Suri do whatever she wants and has already had to replace mahogany paneling twice in six months, because he lets her draw pictures on the walls. And! "Katie may also decide to go public about Tom's secret Scientology mobile unit. It's a black American-made van that looks like a regular vehicle on the outside, but inside it's fitted with high tech gadgets, monitors and computer equipment worth of a spy flick." A source says Tom spends a ton of time in the van: "It's how he keeps in touch with Scientologists all over the world. It's padded on the inside, so that no one can hear anything on the outside. Not too many people get to see the inside of this thing." Moving on: Did Kim Kardashian get a nose job? (See image 14). Rihanna is a "carbo-loader" who insists on fast-food feasts. And just so you know, Lady Gaga requests a hot, whole roast chicken in her tour rider. Precious star Gabby Sidibe is featured in a piece called "She's Got Style" and the copy reads, "she's a pro when it comes to turning heads." Seriously, there is not ONE crack about her weight from the magazine which does "Best & Worst Beach Bodies" regularly. (See image 15). Drew Barrymore has kicked Justin Long out of her apartment because he's a slob and started acting like a Frat boy, leaving his stuff all over the place. Someone told Jennifer Aniston that her ex, Adam Duritz, was on his way to a party — with his new ladyfriend, Emmy Rossum — so Jen "bolted out the back door." Bruce Willis took his wife Emma Heming to dinner and the owner of the restaurant mistook her for one of his daughters. Blind item! "Which actor plays a loving dad and hubby on TV, but likes to play the field in real life? While his wife cares for their kid, he hits NYC hot spots, trying to pick up young chicks." Khloe Kardashian was spotted picking up half a dozen pregnancy tests at Rite- Aid. In Brad & Angie news, they visited a museum, and the story goes, "They were so inspired by the beauty all around them that they babbled about their future family plans." Angie said: "I have a mosaic in my house. I have ancient cultures, and we celebrate everything. This year, we're doing Christmas, Kwanzaa and even Hanukkah." When asked if she was going to have one more kid, Angie said "I'm always thinking about it. I would love to." Brad said: "You never know." Fantasia Barrino's fans are upset because she is dating a married father of two who left his wife and kids to move in with her. He used to work in a T-mobile store and now Fantasia has his name tattooed on her chest. Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake went to a Jay-Z show and guess who came out to sing "Run This Town"? Rihanna. Seeing her was "like a knife" in Jessica's heart, but Justin danced and sang along. "Jessica stood there like a fool… trying not to cry." The New Moon promotional tour took Rob to Japan and Kristen to South America, and when they were apart, Rob realized he couldn't live without Kristen. So then there's some stuff in here for the Twihards: When Rob and Kristen stayed in that hotel in Paris, he arranged for the staff to place dozens of roses around the room — there were flower petals covering the floor and bed and lit candles everywhere when she walked in. The two are planning to get married once all the Twilight craze dies down. Which is never. They might elope in London. Finally: "Wow, Jen's New Bikini Body" is about how in Mexico, Ms. Aniston's belly was slightly rounder and she ate everything she wanted: "Could she be getting ready to be a mom?" A source says Jen's been hooking up with John Mayer — and they haven't always been careful. The "pal" reminds us: "Just because she's single doesn't mean she can't get pregnant!"
Grade: D+ (dandruff)

From Ok!

From Us

From Life & Style

From Life & Style

From Life & Style

From In Touch

From In Touch

From Star

From Star

[New York, November 8. Image via INF]

It's serious, people. Here's how the Telegraph puts it: "A study has shown that the wearing of inappropriate outfits is a serious problem for playgroups because the wrong dress can seriously disrupt a whole class." No, we're not talking baby minis and fishnets, but rather insufficiently warm wraps or fancy duds that are most definitely not play-clothes. Sadly, some kids are apparently worried about "ruining" nice outfits by playing in them. And, as the study's authors don't need to point out, playing is a really good thing for all kinds of physical and social reasons. Dr Kristen Copeland, who oversaw the study, said "stricter guidelines were needed "so that children's active play opportunities aren't curtailed". What would the guidelines be? "No Little Marc Jacobs or any other garment made for a swiftly-growing child that costs more than said child's tuition?"

The sad thing, according to EurekAlert, is that "the study shows that parents may need education about the importance and benefits of active play for children's development" - and this isn't benign neglect we're talking about, as much as specific instructions not to ruin fancy clothes. Maybe the fact that the price of fancy kid gear has stayed static even as other clothing has gone down has made it more of a prestige item than ever. But take heart: the luxury kids' market is actually on the wane. And if that's good for our children's physical and mental development, well, score one for the Recession. (We're guessing though that, if this is indicative of the parents' priorities, dressing the kids in Osh-Kosh isn't going to solve all problems.) Suri, however, will probably maintain her impeccable aesthetic, and now the tabs can bolster their faux sanctimony with a few "experts" while they're at it.

Designer Baby Clothes Could Stop Children Playing [Daily Telegraph]
All Dressed-Up And Nowhere To Go [EurekAlert]
Buying Recession Proof Kids Clothing [NordicDesign]
High-End Kids Clothes Languish [Wall Street Journal]

[Boston, October 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Boston, October 12. Image via Getty]

• "No one wants to see curvy women," says Karl Lagerfeld, who has struggled with his weight. "You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly." [News.com.au]

• Meanwhile, Christian Louboutin gave Barbie a much-needed slimming treatment. The three dolls the designer is releasing will have an all-new morphology, because the shoe man "found her ankles were too fat," reports a spokesperson. [WWD]
• Heidi Klum says becoming a Barbie was "a dream come true." There's a horror movie in that somewhere. [People]
• Tom Cruise says sweet, underminey things to Katie Holmes about her clothes, like, "I think that dress might be wearing you." The only question remaining is: Is he responsible for Suri's clothing choices? [NYDN]
• Trovata and Forever 21 have settled their copyright infringement lawsuit, just days before a second trial was to begin. The terms are confidential. Despite being sued more than 50 times, Forever 21 had never faced a jury prior to the Trovata case; Trovata had sought a multi-million-dollar judgment against Forever 21 for knocking off its shirts, but the first trial in May ended in a mistrial when six jurors sided with Trovata and one sided with Forever 21. [WWD]
• The Daily Mail did a hilarious write-around on Dov Charney, The Sleazy Sexual Predator Behind High Street Store American Apparel. Wait till they realize that the "model" in the lace bodysuit ad they hold up for particular condemnation — "it is the kind of photograph which would send shivers down the spine of anyone with a teenage daughter" — is in fact an actual porn star named Faye Valentine. We can't wait for the blistering, "exclusive" follow-up. [Daily Mail]
• Marc Jacobs: "I think the idea of people being exposed, whether it's stylists who have their reality shows or whatever, is just the way of the world. It's every chef, every stylist, every hairdresser, everybody who's doing plastic surgery. We're in a period where people are entertained by what they consider to be the real lives of people in different professions, etc. And fashion has also reached this kind of proportion like football or sport, you know — a spectator sport." [WWD]
• W magazine is reducing its frequency from 12 to 6 issues per year. This is fueling rumors that Condé Nast might be interested in buying American Elle. [FWD]
• Ugg Australia is releasing a "limited-edition" kids collection as a tie-in for the Where The Wild Things Are movie. Half the proceeds will go to St. Jude's Research Hospital. Which means half will go to making more ugly Uggs. [WWD]
• Levi's is snapping up young(ish), hip(ish) artists of both coasts in the scramble for sales: after having Ryan McGinley shoot its new ad campaign, the company has announced that printmaker extraordinaire Shepard Fairey will have a capsule collection in stores by the end of this month under the label Obey x Levi's. [WWD]
• Turns out that with the move to selling exclusively at J.C. Penney, Liz Claiborne isn't closing the Claiborne by John Bartlett line — it's just firing two-time CFDA-winner John Bartlett less than halfway into his three-year contract. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, the Upper East Side has hatched another fashion label. Two people who really need the money — socialites Gigi Mortimer and Courtney Moss — want us to buy $199 rabbit fur neck warmers and $315 fox fur gloves. Oh, look: Kelly Killoren Bensimon is all over their website! [WWD]
• Women's Wear Daily puts on its thinking cap to investigate this question for the ages: Has fashion lost its mystique? Is it the reality television? Is it the Internet? Is it Marc Jacobs inviting reporters to work out with him? The story quotes an Internet commenter, and Valentino. [WWD]
• Diane von Furstenberg is mounting an exhibition of her life's work in Moscow later this month. It will include garments she designed, artifacts, and portraits of her by artists including Warhol and Horst. [WWD]

• Lady Gaga, Gay Activist! She "was the highest-wattage celebrity to attend both the Human Rights Campaign dinner Saturday night and the National Equality March on Sunday." Reporter Dan Zak writes:

"Nearby rally-goers screeched her name. She had marched with the crowds from her hotel after shrugging off security concerns, and had just finished a short speech to an enraptured throng of tens of thousands on the West Lawn. Glittery signs reading 'Gay for Gaga' and 'Lady Gaga {heart} Equality, U Should 2' poked up from the rainbowed masses." "I will never turn my back on my friends," said Lady Gaga, before disappearing from the rally. "Today is not a one-off performance."She also said: "In the music industry there's still a tremendous amount of accommodation of homophobia," she said. "So I'm taking a stand… I'm not going to play one of my songs tonight because tonight is not about me. It's about you." She sang John Lennon's "Imagine," but changed some of the lyrics. [WaPo]

• Miley Cyrus and her sister Brandi ate $70 worth of meat and mac 'n cheese at the Outback Steakhouse in Burbank last week. Miley paid with a $100 bill… and kept the change. Her spokesperson explains: She didn't know she was supposed to tip unless she was eating inside." Pardon? When has that ever been the case? [Rush & Molloy]
• Christina Hendricks married Geoffrey Arend — he was hilarious in 500 Days Of Summer! — at Il Buco restaurant in New York on Sunday. Congrats! [People]
• Jon Gosselin says that he wasn't the only one who took cash out of the joint account; Jon filed papers claiming Kate withdrew over $60,000 from their joint account between July and September 2009. But a source says Kate's transactions were legal; Jon didn't have permission. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin believes that Kate has control of more than one million dollars and that if she doesn't have a job, it's not his fault. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jon Gosselin will light a menorah this year, partly because of gf Hailey Glassman. "This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great… They gave her a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand." I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say: Oy. [Rush & Molloy]
• Dina Lohan says that Lindsay's brother Michael is on academic scholarship at Ithaca (college)… and "He's also is doing a movie!" This paper reacts with the headline, "Oh no! Not another one!" [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes wants to send Suri to Catholic School, and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise is okay with it. Suri is already enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston, where Tom is filming the movie Wichita. [Daily Mail]
• Angelina Jolie is in talks to replace Charlize Theron in the thriller The Tourist. [JustJared]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: So on. [People]
• Nick Cannon is married to Mariah Carey. He's also a stand-up comic, a rapper, an actor, a D.J., a screenwriter and a television host and the chairman Nickelodeon's TeenNick division. [NY Times]
• At the BET Hip-Hop awards on Saturday, T.I. won, though he is in prison; Jay-Z was honored as MVP of the year; the late DJ AM won "DJ of the Year." Kanye West did not attend. The show airs October 27. [AP]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Kourtney Kardashian is expecting a baby boy. [NY Daily News]
• Mad Men's John Slattery doesn't want a garbage trucks garage in his New York neighborhood. [AP]
• "Fergie is Condoleezza Rice - if Condi knew how to execute a booty shake…" claims this profile of the singer, in which she talks about ecstasy; crystal meth ("it ruins you"); dating Mexican gang members and being a child star. The reporter also writes: "There is some speculation that Fergie is older than she lets on (seems unlikely; she grew up on TV), as her unquestionably sexy features can look a touch - how can I put this? - ravaged." [Times Of London]
• Kelly Bensimon was doing man-on-the-street interviews for Gotham magazine yesterday… and her efforts were taped for Real Housewives. [NY Post]
• Debi Mazar helped Maksim Chmerkovskiy get over ex-fiancée Karina Smirnoff with home cooked meals. Heartache doesn't mean stomachache. [People]
• Remember when Michael Jackson played a character on The Simpsons? The folks of The Simpsons were freaked out by him. [NY Post]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, a snippet of his song "This Is It" has hit the interwebs; listen at the link. [TMZ]
• By the by the illuminated white glove Michael Jackson wore on his 1984 Victory tour sold for almost $70, 000 at auction. [The Sun]
• Katherine Jackson will not inherit 40% of her son's estate. [Carey Hart are HOT in this photo shoot for his tattoo shop's clothing line. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse "looked frail and unsteady" singing backup for her goddaughter on the TV show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Couples Retreat raked in $35 million at the box office; this column suggests the film "offers a lesson in moviegoing: add one beautiful location to a comedy that is not very funny, add to it actors who aren't really very famous, and you can make a movie that opens to reviews that aren't very good, yet still make cash hand over fist." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader has a new baby and says of fatherhood: "I think it's going to be awesome." [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• In a poll of 100 New Yorkers, 26 women and 27 men think David Letterman is a "hypocrite for making jokes about the affairs of Bill Clinton and other politicians." 22 women and 31 men have worked at a place where the boss was having an affair with an underling. [NY Mag]
• Singer Stephen Gately, of Irish group Boyzone died Saturday while vacationing on the Spanish island of Majorca. [CNN]
• Stephen Gately may have chocked on his own vomit after a "drinking session." [Daily Mail]
• "Matt Lucas will not return to his stage role following the death of his ex-partner, it has been announced." [The Star]
• Mickey Rourke talks about using the word "faggot." Sorta. [TMZ]
• Dannii Minogue was judging X Factor when this guy Danyl Johnson sang "And I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls. Danni insinuated that he was gay by telling him he didn't need to change the gender references in the song. Simon Cowell was pissed about that. [Daily Mail]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is on Twitter now, posting pictures of the happy face in his morning oatmeal and so on. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver is trying to promote a Gorilla Rehabilitation and Conservation Education, (GRACE) in the Congo, which will rescue and rehabilitate orphaned gorillas, saying: "These little gorillas just steal your heart. They're very sensitive creatures. So it's no surprise that this is a very demanding and ambitious project, the GRACE Center, but we need it. We have to have it." [AP]
• "Pierce Brosnan almost turned down the chance to star in his upcoming flick, The Greatest, about two parents struggling to move on after their son dies in a car accident — because his own son Sean survived a similar crash in 2000. "When I first got the script, I looked it over and put it under my bed for a week," he says. "I eventually decided to do it because I liked it, but it was hard to go to those deeper places in my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Director Mike Nichols has been selected to receive the American Film Institute's 38th AFI Life Achievement Award. Nichols won an Oscar for directing The Graduate; was nominated for a best picture award as a producer for The Remains of the Day and his credits include Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, Silkwood, Working Girl, Primary Colors, Angels in America, Closer and Charlie Wilson's War. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Horn Lake, Mississippi's Circle G Ranch — also known as the Elvis Ranch, is up for sale, if you have $6.5 million. [UPI]
• High-brow PBS soap opera Upstairs Downstairs is being remade. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "What Oscar-winning actress and her Oscar-winning husband are said to be close to splitting? She's telling friends, 'We've grown apart.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• "I get why chicks dig him. He's extremely kind, incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, creative and respectful. I don't discuss my love life because it's always misinterpreted or put under the microscope. It's especially annoying when you're dating someone else who's well-known, which is why I normally would never go out with a famous guy. Let's put it this way… I'd be flattered if someone hit on me tonight, but I really can't say if I'm available or not." — Emmy Rossum on Adam Duritz. She also says: "I used to be an artsy, quiet, kind of chubby kid — which no one believes. But now I'm really comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I can be naked with the lights on." [People]00
• "My hair has never been that great. I had a Jheri curl at one point in my life. I had to go to rehab and confess, 'I'm Chris, I have a curl.' But, I don't think men are into their hair that much. Guys are concentrating on other things. When I was younger, I had a complex, and probably still do, about just not being buff and big. I think that's what guys are into. There are some right here in Hollywood, men on television right now, with fake pecs and stuff." — Chris Rock made Good Hair, but he doesn't think about his own that much. [Parade]
• "I think if she were playing something that was going to be really hard for her psychologically or damaging, I'd be more concerned, but she had a really good time with the sex thing, She plays a woman who, as far as I can tell, is really in charge of her life and is not a victim. So it sounded to me like it would be a blast. I've already seen little bits and pieces of some of the nudity and she looks beautiful. If you have it, why not?" — Susan Sarandon, on her daughter playing a student by day and a stripper by night in Californication. [Gatecrasher]
• "I've been corresponding with Anya Camilleri [the director] and we've been looking at historical paintings where the concept 'cougar' was depicted to try and see where it came from. I think 'cougar' is a way to make it appear as women are looking at their men as prey, and gaining something from it. Like when men are enhancing their own virility by going out with younger women. Why is there not a term for older men with younger women? I don't think Mrs. Robinson was a cougar — I think she was a woman having a breakdown, and it was played wonderfully." — Sharon Stone, who will play a woman who hires a much-younger gigolo in upcoming flick Satisfaction. [Gatecrasher]
• "I had dairy a few weeks ago by accident and I knew because the next day I was all phlegmy. And I was farting and it was gross. And then I knew. It was dairy. Plus it makes you fat. Instantly. [There] was a time in my life where I was not interested in health at all; health was a dirty word. And when I look at pictures now, I see that I looked tired and puffy and stressed." — Alicia Silverstone, whom this paper calls "the most non-annoying vegan on the planet." [NY Post]
• "I guess everyone has their wild side, and mine was halfway between being really shy and kind of a goofy spazoid. I never bit anyone, like Max, but I slapped a lot of butts. I don't know if you've seen kids do that-butt-slapping. Like, slapping the butts of my grandparents and babysitters. When I wasn't shy, I overcompensated." — Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who did the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are. [NY Mag]
• "In an interview, Lars said he thought he reminded me of my father… and now, of course, I could make that link. He's very sincere with his questions and fears. He's a real artist in that way. He never censors himself... It was a weird relationship. The moments when it was just the two of us were pretty awkward… [Still] I had the feeling that he was inside me. He understood every blink, every detail. I felt as if I were portraying him, even though we were dealing with female sexuality. The anxiety and fear in my character was pretty much him." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on Antichrist director Lars von Trier, whom this article notes has been called "Misanthrope. Misogynist. Pornographer. Xenophobe. Enfant terrible. Child." [BlackBook]
• "President Obama seems very authentic… I wonder if there's a white man inside of him." — Lars von Trier. [BlackBook]

• Madonnahas dropped celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson: "Madonna had grown tired of the baggage that Tracy always seemed to be carrying with her," says a source, "Tracy had grown to be more of a distraction than anything else." [PageSix]

• Stephen Gately of the Irish boyband Boyzone was found dead last night in Majorca, where he was vacationing. The cause of death has not been released at this time; Gately was only 33 years old. [ONTD]
• A friend claims that "It looks like [Gately] went out for a few drinks, then got back, fell asleep and never woke up." [ONTD]
• "Stephen was the kindest, gentlest soul. We send our love and condolences to his partner, Andy, and to all his friends everywhere."-Elton John [Guardian]
• Oh dear: David Letterman reportedly brought Stephanie Birkett, the staffer he was sleeping with, on Caribbean vacations with his wife and son. According to the New York Post, Letterman's wife, Regina Lasko "believed that Birkitt was only an innocent "friend" and "co-worker" at the time." [NYPost]
• A former flight attendant on Oprah Winfrey's private jet claims she was fired after two fellow flight attendants accused her of "inappropriate intimate behavior" while in flight. The woman says the flight attendants are lying, and is suing for $75,000. [TMZ]
• Jimmy Kimmel is currently dating the co-head writer of his show, Molly McNearney. "After Jimmy and Sarah broke up, Molly and Jimmy both found themselves single, and they clicked," says a source, "They're really happy together." [People]
• Britney Spears will attempt to regain full custody of her two sons before Christmas. A source says Kevin Federline is unlikely to oppose the bid "as long as he is granted full visitation rights." [DailyExpress]
• A source claims that Michael Bay is considering killing off Megan Fox in the next Transformers film. "Michael's pretty much discovered Megan and now he's very quietly looking for her replacement. He hasn't decided if he's going to kill her off in the next movie, but he just wants to be prepared." [PopCrunch]
• "I don't think you can plan or control love. I think you have to just be willing to take what comes and however it comes, you know? I have a really great relationship with myself and that's a lifelong process. I have a great job, a great family and great friends. I have my health and I love what I do."-Jennifer Aniston [ShowbizSpy]
• Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie is fed up with Brad Pitt's scrubby appearance and has hired Tom Ford to give Pitt a makeover. "His beard is so unkempt now that she can't even stand kissing him, and she started calling him ‘Billy Goat Gruff' to shame him into getting rid of it," says a source, "Angie called Tom personally and handpicked thousands of dollars worth of casual and dress-up clothes for Brad. She's desperate to get the old, stylish Brad back." [ShowbizSpy]
• Kanye West was a no-show at last night's BET Awards, even though he was nominated for nine awards. [E!]
• Moby is set to donate the proceeds from several of his concerts to the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence, as the cause is close to his heart: "I had to stop [my mother] from being stabbed to death by a boyfriend of hers. I hate to say this, but almost half of the women I know who are friends of mine have been in abusive relationships of some sort or another." [Reuters]
• "I just don't take any of it seriously. It's just a job and while it's a job I love, girls scream out for Edward, not Robert. I still can't get a date."- Robert Pattinson [ONTD]
• Vince Vaughn's Couples Retreat won the Friday box office, taking in 12.3 million dollars. [EW]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer, Herve Temime says Polanski is "depressed" in jail. "Roman Polanski, who is 76, seemed very dejected when I visited him," Temime says, "Polanski was in an unsettled state of mind." [Reuters]
• Katie Holmes has reportedly won a "victory" over Tom Cruise by enrolling the couple's daughter, Suri in a Catholic preschool, as opposed to a Scientology-based program. "‘She is not convinced by Scientology and has told Tom that she wants Suri to be educated as a Catholic – as she was," says a source, "They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly – but Tom came around to the idea in the end." [DailyMail]
• Hilary Swank would like you to know that she sleeps in the nude: "I don't sleep in anything. Well, my boyfriend's son is 6 years old, and you wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude. Every morning he comes into the bedroom, and you're just nude. But he doesn't look twice; he doesn't think about it yet. I just toss and turn too much when I sleep, and if I'm in clothes, I get all twisted up." [ShowbizSpy]
• The sad thing is that I feel so boring because Twilight is literally how every conversation I have these days begins - whether it's someone I'm meeting for the first time or someone I just haven't seen in a while. The first thing I want to say to them is, ‘It's insane! And, as a person, I can't do anything!' But then I think to myself, God damn it, shut the fuck up."-Kristen Stewart [ShowbizSpy]

[Boston, October 8. Image via Splash.]

[Boston, October 7. Image via INF]

[Boston, October 4. Image via INF]

[Boston, October 1. Image via INF]

• Ungaro's CEO says Lindsay Lohan was appointed creative director because, "Celebrities today attract lots of attention and having a moving, dancing, swinging, living doll is, we hope, going to bring down the age group at Ungaro while keeping the DNA."

• Linds has been working with Spanish designer Estrella Archs to produce Sunday's Ungaro collection in just three weeks, but when the New York Times stopped by the studio yesterday, "Ms. Lohan was conspicuous by her absence." [N.Y. Times]
• Christian Siriano will star in a Bravo reality show about him setting up a new shop and marketing his clothing line. [Variety]
• Suri Cruise's wardrobe has been valued at around $3.6 million. "They really splurge on Suri," says an insider. "Suri is very vocal when it comes to outfits. She's rarely seen in anything twice." [News.com.au]
• Isaac Mizrahi doesn't want you to call his new New York boutique a store. "I'm afraid to call it a store because that immediately makes you think about sales expectations," says Mizrahi. "It's more of an opportunity to show the collection and service the customer. I'm trying to get across the fact that clothing is a product of the creative process... Most designers are really good at retail. I always thought, ‘That's not my job.' This shop is me committing to retail." [WWD]
• Kim Kardashian is releasing her first fragrance in February with Lighthouse Beauty. Chris Lighty, a founding partner in the company, says, "Kim has created her own brand, which has really be able to extend off-screen and out of the reality show arena it started in. She's not a one-horse show." [WWD]
• Mariel Haenn, Rihanna's stylist, says of the look she'll be sporting to coincide with the release of her new album, "It's definitely going to be Rihanna in the raw state we've seen her in lately... Though she's an icon right now, this crazy super glam, we're going to see her being real—human. She hates too soft and girly... she still plays with her girly side, but there's always a tough piece somewhere, with edge." [Radar Online]
• Many designers are streaming their shows online this season including Burberry, Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs, Emporio Armani, and Alexander McQueen. [Vogue]
• Burberry says it expects to boost operating profits by $6.4 million in the year ending in March 2010. It's re-negotiated its Japanese apparel license with two local partners and expects higher royalty payments than previously estimated. [WWD]
• Rather than having a huge relaunch, Nina Ricci unveiled its first collection under the creative direction of Peter Copping last night to only 75 people. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Mira Sorvino has been in New York this week asking people to donate suits to women who are trying to escape domestic abuse as part of the "Tell A Gal P.A.L." campaign sponsored by Allstate Foundation. People can donate business attire at Allstate offices through October 9. "The suits work in both a practical real way and a symbolic way," said Sorvino. "They give women a way to present themselves in a professional way." [WSJ]
• The costumes for Kylie Minogue's U.S. tour will be designed by Jean Paul Gualtier. [People]
• Crocs has entered into a new revolving loan agreement with PNC Financial Services group. The company can borrow up to $30 million under the new agreement. [Reuters]
• On The Bonnie Hunt Show yesterday Tim Gunn said of Michelle Obama wearing Crocs, "I like to think she was doing a footwear experiment... if she wasn't I'll do my first fashion intervention and show up at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and insist I be taken to her closet." Video here: [People]

[Boston, September 21. Image via INF]

[Boston, September 20. Images via Flynet.]

[Melbourne, July 27. Image via INF]

[Melbourne, July 21. Image via Getty]

• Keith Urban says the rumors that wife Nicole Kidman is pregnant again are not true, but rather, "A little bit of tweaking [of photos] does that..."

• He continued, "If we were to have another child though we would be very happy but we are more then happy with Sunday. We feel very blessed to have one child." [The Sun]
• The private family funeral service for Michael Jackson will be held at 10 a.m. on Tuesday at Forest Lawn in L.A. Then a motorcade will go to either the Staples Center or the Nokia Theater for a public memorial. [TMZ]
• According to NBC 4 in L.A., Debbie Rowe said in a phone interview that she's going to fight for custody of Michael Jackson's two oldest children. She said she's seeking a restraining order against Joe Jackson and will submit to a DNA test to prove she's their biological mother. [TMZ]
• In a new interview with Details, Quincy Jones said Michael Jackson didn't accept his race. "It's ridiculous, man! Chemical peels and all of it. And I don't understand it. But he obviously didn't want to be black ... You see his kids?" said Quincy, who added that Bubbles the chimp once bit a hole in his daughter's hand. [TMZ]
• President Obama says the only reason he hadn't made a statement about Michael Jackson's death is that no one asked him about it. He said today, "I grew up on his music - still have all his stuff on my iPod," in an AP interview, adding that Michael "will go down in history as one of our greatest entertainers. I think that his brilliance as a performer also was paired with a tragic and, in many ways, sad personal life. I'm glad to see that he is being remembered primarily for the great joy that he brought to a lot of people through his extraordinary gifts as an entertainer." [AP]
• Lou Ferrigno, who was training Michael Jackson for his London concerts, says that MJ used to prank call him using the name "Omar," the same name he allegedly used to score more prescription drugs. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was planning to perform a duet with his 12-year-old son Prince at his London concerts. [Us]
• You can watch a video of Michael Jackson rehearsing for his summer concerts here: [TMZ]
• Here's a description of Neverland from a reporter who toured it yesterday: [MSNBC]
• The woman accused of slashing Leonardo DiCaprio at a party in 2005 was arrested in Canada and will be extradited to the U.S. Police finally caught her because she was found guilty of assaulting an ex-boyfriend. [The Daily Express]
• A reporter in the Chris Brown assault case may be held in contempt of court because he allegedly posted videos on his website of interviews filmed in the hallway outside the court room, which is against the court's rules. [TMZ]
• In response to Megan Fox saying Transformers is "not a movie about acting," Michael Bay said, "Well, that's Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do." [Us]
• Now that Neil Patrick Harris has hosted the Tony Awards, he's working on a deal to host the Emmys on September 20. [Variety]
• Tom Cruise took Suri to the zoo yesterday in Australia to see a kangaroo. [News.com.au]
• Gary Coleman's wife was arrested last night for domestic violence and disorderly conduct at their home in Utah. She allegedly broke household items and Gary was unharmed. [TMZ]
• RHONJ Danielle Staub's ex-husband Kevin Maher says she shouldn't have gone on TV because of her shady past. "She helped put a couple of big-time Colombian coke dealers in jail," says Kevin. "These are dangerous men who never forget...and they could be back out on the street now. It's mind-boggling to me that she'd put herself at risk. I believe she's shown incredibly poor judgment by putting herself and her family in the public eye. Now she could be an easy target for some bad men with long memories." [Star]
• You can check out Brad Pitt's new Japanese commercial for Softbank here: [Perez Hilton]
• Senator Al Franken said that when people call his office and get put on call, they'll hear the Grateful Dead. Franken said: "Yeah, it's going to be my hold music ... in the Senate, which I've noticed is all classical music. I'm going to try and choose American music, Minnesota music." [Politico]
• Ray Romano on his upcoming TNT show Men Of A Certain Age, about a group of male friends in their 40s: "I created it with Michael Royce, my friend and writer. It's kind of like Raymond where I was involved in everything. But Raymond at a certain point runs itself ... But this one, there's even more pressure because it's my return to television and those sometimes have a track record of not being good. So I really want to put all the effort into making this good. And even then it may not be what people want or expect. So you never know. But yeah, I want to be involved in all of it. Except if it fails, then I'll say it wasn't me." [Reuters]
• Liev Schreiber says of Naomi Watts, "One of the things that is good about our relationship is that we both love acting, so we talk about it a lot. It's our business. We love to watch things and talk about them. We can be really catty about each other and other people's work. We can't help it. It's fun for us to gossip and talk about work. I also think we inspire each other. I like impressing her and I know that she likes impressing me." [The Daily Express]

• Stephanie Seymour's divorce from Peter Brant just got ugly: security guards hired by Brant to protect the family home allegedly assaulted the model and pushed her through a screen door. Police have been called to the house twice. [E!]

• Fashion plate Kanye West, on his "wardrobe staple" Air Yeezy sneakers: "When I was designing these, I was inspired by the combination of materials used on the Fendi 'Spy' bags, as well as the colorways used on the robots in Robotech — muted tones accented with a pop of color. And of course we referenced the Nike mag from Back To The Future II. We're trying to bring kids into the future with this shoe." Doing the Lord's own work, this guy. [Style.com]
• Emma Watson was reportedly fine with appearing in a risqué W magazine shoot, but Harry Potter producers thought it wasn't appropriate for her character's image, so they forced the magazine to tone down the concept. [Daily Mail]
• Chloë Sevigny is hinting that she's in a collaborative mood. "I'd like to do something with a high-end company. You know, the way that Sofia Coppola did with Louis Vuitton. I thought it was very cool. There were no labels on anything. I like that. I prefer it." Her dream partner? Hermès. In which case, the actress might have to keep dreaming. [Style.com]
• Three-year-old Suri Cruise: Is cute, wears clothes. [Mirror]
• As had been expected, Versace C.E.O. Giancarlo di Risio tendered his resignation on Friday. [WSJ]
• Fellow former model Ines de la Fressange says Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is making her husband watch Italian films. "It's great for French culture that Sarkozy's watching Visconti and Fellini!" [Times of London]
• Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards event organizers KCD productions have made nine short films, one for each nominee. Instead of pairing the designers Thakoon Panichgul, Jason Wu, Alexander Wang, Justin Giunta, Alejandro Ingelmo, Albertus Swanepoel, Patrick Ervell, Tim Hamilton and Robert Geller with models wearing their clothes, director Michael Palmieri and still photographer Jennifer Livingston matched the designers with editors from magazines like V and Harper's Bazaar. To see the films, unfortunately, you have to be at the CFDAs on June 15. [FWD]
• Zac Posen, foodie: "I love grocery shopping. I'm a produce fanatic...I cook three nights a week. After the Met Ball I went home and made whole wheat pasta and puff pastry!" [Fashionista]
• The designer is said to be cooking with chefs Giada de Laurentiis and Marcus Samuelsson at the Wine & Food Festival in New York this October. [P6]
• Posen also confirmed that he is working on a scripted television series, but that the project is in its early stages. And he said his Spring line will be partly inspired by Facebook. [The Cut]
• While the New York Post and other outlets eagerly reported the tidbit that Anna Wintour appeared at Jason Wu's resort show without her sunglasses, they (or their source) forgot to mention that Wintour hurriedly left the building four minutes before the show was scheduled to start. "She had a plane to catch," says a Vogue staffer. "But she saw Jason's entire collection earlier and really liked what she was looking at." Okay then. [FWD]
• Nicole Richie's House of Harlow 1960 line of jewelry is now available for online purchasing in the U.K. [Telegraph]
• Tommy Hilfiger's sales rose 21% in the first quarter of this year. [WWD]
• The houses of Lanvin and Chanel each contradicted reports that Alber Elbaz and Karl Lagerfeld would be leaving their positions, and Elbaz would be taking the reins at Chanel. All the best rumors get denied. [The Cut]
• Fashion writer Shane Watson connects the rise of preppy style — Michelle Obama-style cardigans, schoolboy blazers, loafers, crisp white shirts and ankle-grazing jeans — with the changing taste patterns of the recession. "It's the antibling look," she notes. [Times of London]
• A division of Men's Wearhouse was the highest bidder in an auction to buy the bankrupt Filene's Basement chain of discount department stores. [WWD]
• Analyst Frank Curzio rates Kenneth Cole as a stock to buy, because the retailer is cutting costs aggressively in order to improve its numbers. (Last quarter, the company lost $8.2 million, and same-store sales fell by 16%.) But now that good ol' Kenneth has eliminated 401(k) matching contributions... [TS]
• Tory Burch has given money to a foundation bearing her name which will extend credit to aspiring entrepreneurs who wouldn't qualify for bank loans. Accion, a microlender, will administer the loans. [WWD]
• Talbots acquired J. Jill for $517 million in 2006, but it just had to offload the brand for a mere $75 million. The buyer was a subsidiary of San Francisco-based private equity fund Golden Gate Capital. Talbots lost $560.7 million last year. [WWD]
• "New fashion copyright bill will let big companies own public domain designs and bury young, indie designers in legal costs." Well. That's an interesting take on legislation that would allow designers, big and small alike, legal recourse when their intellectual property is stolen. [BoingBoing]

[Pacific Palisades, April 30. Image via INF]

• Chris Brown has reportedly moved on. His new ladyfriend is actually an ex. She attends University of Mary Washington and they met in Virginia, which is where he's from. His reps deny everything. [Gatecrasher]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt another kid, this time from the Philippines? [Daily Mail]
• Is Pamela Anderson getting ready to wed —- for the fourth time? The dude would be her current boyfriend, Jamie Padgett. [The Sun]
• "Someone in the Kardashian family will soon have plastic surgery," says Kim Kardashian. "I can't tell you who, but someone in my family will look totally different and viewers will see it all on the show very soon." Uh, is it Bruce Jenner? [People]
• Suri Cruise is starting her "five day a week Scientology training," which really just means she'll be attending that school started by Will Smith that uses "study technology." But the school does require a "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet." Suri is about to turn 3. [Daily Mail]
• Although Lindsay Lohan is "heartbroken," Lindsay and Sam are still talking,says a friend. Also: Lindsay "barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Lindsay was seen carrying something called Neuro Bliss, which is supposed to "relax neural tissues, to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being." [TMZ]
• This report is titled, "Lindsay Parties The Pain Away." [OK!]
• Madonna is still trying to adopt Mercy James, the child in Malawi. Her lawyer has filed an appeal, and she says "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible." [Reuters]
• Mercy James is "in hiding" so that her biological father doesn't come and take her; apparently he has only materialized since Madonna showed interest in the child. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Madonna's son David is a fan of Australian football. [News.com.au]
• Is it mean that Joel Madden posted a picture of a young Nicole Richie on his Twitter and wrote, "This is why I love her folks. Is it not Ron Perlman circa Beauty and the Beast??" [People]
• Hermione's coming to the states: Emma Watson will be attending Brown University. [Daily Express]
• Even though Paris Hilton is with Doug Reinhardt now, she totally talks to her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, at least three times a week. They probably just discuss the economy and ? [Daily Mail]
• Brace yourself for a Nadya Suleman reality show, which is super close to happening. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Some lady from a rehab center says she had a "secret fling" with Blake Fielder-Civil and is knocked up with his kid. Is it true? Will Amy Winehouse flip her wig? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse has been working with the Gorillaz instead of working on her own album. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse and Duffy are no match for Dusty Springfield, says a friend of Dusty Springfield's. [Telegraph]
• Did Whitney Port leave her job at Diane von Furstenberg, after being beaten out for a promotion by Olivia Palermo? [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett was seen partying in Miami, so he's clearly recovered from that gastrointestinal problem which sent him to the hospital earlier this month. [UPI]
• Did Jimmy Fallon steal an album cover from the wall of a New York City restaurant and show it off on the Tonight Show? He's claiming it was a prop, but the restaurant has posted a sign, saying: ""Wanted! Jimmy Fallon. A free meal and drink to anyone who can retrieve our record cover back to us safely." [UPI]
• Tim Roth says he was a victim of child abuse. "It happened during my childhood up to my early teens and although I'm not going to say who it was, he's long gone now — and I hasten to add it wasn't my father or mother. Things happen to you in your life, but you don't want to consider yourself to be a victim — you want to be a survivor and the first thing that helps you do that and helps you get through it is speaking and finding your voice." [Daily Mail]
• WTF: New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick wrote: "You know a movie's got problems when the most memorable thing about it is Sienna Miller's moustache. That growth above her lip is clearly visible in two scenes, once in profile." How is that relevant to the movie (The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh) or her acting? [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller has dropped from number 45 to 202 on FHM's Sexiest Women list. [The Sun]
• Trouble in Kate Beckinsale's marriage? [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto invited children rescued from a life of prostitution to sit in on a recording session with his band, 30 Seconds To Mars. [Monica Seles is opening up about her addiction to food in a new book, Getting A Grip. [Daily Mail]
• Long-haired heartthrob Fabio wrecked a Ferrari on Mulholland Drive over the weekend. Did you know dude is 50? [UPI]
• The Hannah Montana movie took the top spot at the weekend box office with a fairly respectable $17.2 million. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Why the fact that Sylvester Stallone has Russian heritage is breaking news is a mystery. [Daily Mail]
• Sting and his wife have invited a group of friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury trip to Tuscany to discuss "social consciousness." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a profile of Carla Gugino in which she says: "I was so serious when I was young. My mom would come home and say, 'Carla, stop studying." Or, "The dishes are clean enough.' I felt that to be successful I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke. But acting taught me to have a life that could feed my work.… I had a happy childhood, but I think it also pushed me to try to create my own sense of stability and made me very intense for my age." [NY Times]
• Singer Cassie shaved part of her head, and it looks cute. [NY Daily News]
• Two of Leona Lewis's cousins have been arrested for allegedly beating up and trying to rob some drug dealers. [The Sun]
• Ooh, a retrospective of Ray Liotta's career. He was so hot in Something Wild. [CNN]
• Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA says there should not be a sequel to Mamma Mia: "It wouldn't work." [UPI]
• In this piece, Sir Roger Moore talks about all of his ailments — kidney stones, shingles, low heart rate, etc — as well as his hypochondria. [Daily Mail]
• William Hurt will join the cast of the Robin Hood flick which stars Russell Crowe in the lead and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Shenae Grimes of 90210 was asked who she'd like to come to the set: "Luke Perry, obviously. I mean, come on! We've all been dying for it. I still am but I may have to give up the dream." [Mirror]
• This sentence means nothing to me, but perhaps others will care: The Veronicas are dating brothers from rock bad Carney. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter's current boyfriend doesn't get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, talking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." — Jason Statham. [Page Six]
• "I have made several mistakes and one of them was being overprotective of the girls, which has led to an impression that the school is isolating them from society. The majority of girls are thriving, really fulfilling the dream and vision I had. They really have exceeded any expectations I had for them. In spite of everything that's happened, what keeps me inspired and hopeful is the heart of every girl, because they are wonderful, they are magnificent." — Oprah, who has been defending the record of her school in South Africa. [USA Today]
• "He was in an Easter suit, with the Easter basket and the eggs and everything. Once you've seen Billy in a bunny suit, it's pretty hard to think of Easter in any other way." — Christie Brinkley on ex-husband Billy Joel. [Daily Express]
• "I wish I'd never worn an American flag motif swimsuit to the MTV Awards when I was in the Spice Girls. This was me hating myself and hiding under mountains of make-up." — Geri Halliwell. [Independent]
• "I don't think you ever retire from films - films retire you. Sometimes, if you're unfortunate, after your first film. What happens is you say 'I'm going to retire'. And then someone turns up and gives you this script. So you're not retiring. I don't have my next movie and I'm not looking for one. But someone will give me a script possibly and I'll work again. If someone doesn't give me a script that I want to do, I'll retire. But there won't be a great announcement or fanfare of trumpets. I just won't do anything. I'll stay at home and do what I always do, which is cooking, gardening and writing." — Michael Caine. [Daily Express]
• "I don't care. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed. […] I don't know that [my kids have] ever seen Back To The Future all the way through. Just as Parkinson's isn't a big topic of conversation in my house, neither is my career. I go down to my office every day and they say, 'Dad's going to work.'" — Michael J. Fox. [Guardian]
• "Only 1,350 rockers were made, and we sold approximately 70 percent in the first two weeks. The collector's edition photo album has sold more the first week than any book we've sold at Cracker Barrel." — Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing on Dolly Parton's merch, which is flying out of stores. [Reuters]
• "I wish we could have shared a bed/but her life was not her own/That's what happens when you date a girl/from Driftwood Nursing Home." — from Bob Saget's comedy act. [NY Times]
• "What I love about Donna is she's never jaded. Donna can kind of go through anything and she still has that girlish quality about her. I think that's something she'd have at any age. That's Donna to me." — Tori Spelling on her return to 90210. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked. I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed." — Tori Spelling. [People]
• "Chris [Martin] is a huge [Sherlock] Holmes nut. He said to me before filming, 'You've got to be gaunt. You've got to be as skinny as you possibly can to play Holmes.' So every time I'm reaching for a muffin I think about Chris and skip the snack. That's been tough." — Robert Downey Jr. [The Sun]
• "I know what you're saying, but it's not a character like in a book or a movie. He's not a bus driver. He doesn't drive a forklift. He's not a serial killer. It's me who's singing that, plain and simple. We shouldn't confuse singers and performers with actors. Actors will say, 'My character this, and my character that.' Like beating a dead horse. Who cares about the character? Just get up and act. You don't have to explain it to me." — Bob Dylan, in a rare interview. [Telegraph]
• "I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her]. It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, 'I want to marry you' the first day I met her. But I could have!" — Chris Pratt on fiancée Anna Faris. [People]
• "I found I was really sleepy. I almost fell asleep during a Chris Rock show - live, front and center. I thought, 'I need to have a steak.' You have to do what works for you. Some people need meat." — Rachel McAdams, on why she's not a vegetarian anymore. [NY Daily News]
• "There was a television series that never got made by that woman who wrote that big role for Helen Mirren, Lynda La Plante. They wanted me to play – this is how they think of me – a woman who had been beaten up and degraded. I refused. I'm sure the British would not like to see me in a role like that. No way. [As for the film version of my life,] I hated the script. I thought it would be based on the book and not just made up. I had a long talk with my friend, the actress Carrie Fisher, about it and she said: 'You might think you were degraded enough but believe me, for Hollywood not nearly enough. There has to be prostitution, there has to be murder.' So I took it back." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Express]

• A source claims that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are still talking after their breakup late last week, but that Sam has "begged Lindsay to get help." Lohan is reportedly "heartbroken" over the split. [People]

• "Lindsay, despite appearances, is insecure and has relied on Samantha and their relationship to build her up," says a friend, "Lindsay barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Ronson also reportedly gave Lindsay a shout-out at a recent DJ gig, followed by "na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye." That was way harsh, Tai. [ONTD]
• Sorry ladies: Roger Federer has married his longtime girlfriend Miroslava "Mirka" Vavrinec. Federer confirmed the marriage with this post on his blog: "Earlier today, in my hometown of Basel, surrounded by a small group of close friends and family, Mirka and I got married. It was a beautiful spring day and an incredibly joyous occasion. Mr. and Mrs. Roger Federer wish all of you a Happy Easter weekend." [People]
• "Vanessa thinks Daniel Craig is the hot Hollywood hunk. But I also have a man-crush on Daniel Craig - he's just so cool.So I'll let her have that one. She's also hot for Ryan Gosling. She has a list."-Zac Efron [ShowbizSpy]
• Audrina Patridge says she hasn't gotten any plastic surgery: "People think I've got my nose done, my chin done. I just laugh at it. I'm just losing my baby fat - everyone grows up and changes." [DailyExpress]
• The Presidential Puppy will arrive at the White House on Tuesday; the Obamas have decided on a Portuguese Water Dog from a Texas kennel. [USWeekly]
• "I can see why Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse go nutty. All the attention I've been getting lately is surreal, and invasive, intrusive and weird. Whenever I open my door there are people with cameras outside. I'm trapped in my own home."-Lily Allen [ShowbizSpy]
• The French are apparently going mad over Hugh Laurie. The Guardian claims a French magazine "gushed" that "with Hugh Laurie, you don't sleep, you laugh. With Hugh Laurie ... you are moved ... It's the year of Hugh Laurie or it's no one's year at all. And, for now, there isn't the slightest sign of France overdosing." [Guardian]
• Lady GaGa has canceled plans to release her next single, which includes the line "I want to take a ride on your disco stick," because the song is "too rude" for release. [TheSun]
• Suri Cruise is reportedly going to start Scientology "training" this week. "The children have a lot of responsibilities from a very young age," a source says of the school, which was started last year by Will Smith "The school is particularly strict about nutrition, demanding a low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet. Katie is understandably a little anxious about being separated from Suri." [DailyMail]
• Justin Timberlake and Lupe Fiasco are going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro this fall for charity. Is there anything Justin Timberlake can't do? Seriously? [DailyExpress]
• Get ready for more Miley Cyrus, as the Hannah Montana movie won the weekend box office with a debut of 17.4 million. [EW]
• Blind Item:"This C list movie actress who came into her A list name recognition through a hit television show no longer on the air has always thought very highly of herself. But this is ridiculous, and shows you what an idiot she is. When she sees a homeless person on the street asking for money she stops and gives them her autograph and tells them to sell it on e-bay. I assume she thinks all homeless people have some type of wireless laptop they carry around with them and a way to collect the money." [BlindGossip]
• A giant bunny showed up at my house last night and left an enormous basket filled with chocolate marshmallow bunnies, various forms of delightful candy eggs, and delicious Starburst jellybeans. If you see this bunny, please thank him for me. And also ask him to consider making this basket o'candy thing a daily surprise, because it is AWESOME.

• Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady again, this time in Costa Rica. They first got hitched in the U.S. in February. These days you can't be a celebrity and not have two or three ceremonies. [Breitbart, Mirror]

• Oh! But! There was gunfire at Gisele's wedding: Bodyguards shot at paparazzi. No one was injured, but the back window on an SUV was shattered. Says one snapper: "I could have lost my life for the sale of some pictures that Gisele didn't want published. Are they insane?" [NY Post]
• Madonna reportedly "shrieked in horror" when she found out that a judge was denying her adoption of Mercy. [Pop Dirt]
• Madonna has left Malawi in her private jet and is headed for London. [Star Tribune]
• Madonna is said to be "in pieces." [Daily Mail]
• And now Madonna is back in the UK; Guy Ritchie met her at the airport. They didn't seem to speak to each other but he had a big hug for David. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna is partying in Barbados — it's her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. Her father says the singer is "back to herself." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown is due in court today where he will do some "intense" plea dealing. [NY Daily News]
• Over the weekend, news broke that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight and that Sam changed the locks at her house. Ouch! [TMZ]
• Lindsay was specifically asked not to attend a Charlotte Ronson party but showed up anyway. [Socialite Life]
• Did Lindsay go on a Twitter tirade? This report says she wrote: "Being cheated on does wonders to you. I'm doing this publicly because u&ur friends call People [magazine]. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you." So wait, Sam cheated? Also, not so long ago, you couldn't get LL to admit she was IN a gay relationship; now she announces the details to the whole world??? [This Is London]
• Farrah Fawcett, who has been battling cancer for almost three years, is in a hospital in L.A. [Reuters, RadarOnline]
• Meanwhile, her son, Redmond O'Neal, was busted for drugs yesterday. In the parking lot of a prison. Not a joke. Also, Ryan O'Neal says Farrah just went in for a procedure and "is not at death's door." [NY Post, EW]
• This report says the end is near for Farrah Fawcett. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This paper claims that doctors fear the worst for Farrah. [NY Post]
• Scandalous: Jennifer Aniston was seen smiling and laughing and generally having fun. [Gatecrasher]
• Dear Beyoncé, the bangs and the heels are understandable, but the suspenders? [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton says of Doug Reinhardt: "We're best friends. It's not like we just met. We've known each other over the past year. I was in a relationship before and we reconnected. I'm really in love and really happy. He's going to be my husband." Does that sound like a threat? [E!]
• There's a sneak peak of season five of The Hills up, and apparently the big question is whether Heidi and Lauren will reconcile. But the even bigger question is: Does anyone still care? [E!]
• Speaking of The Hills, Lauren Conrad's new guy, Kyle Howard, wants to marry her, so he took her mom and dad out for lunch — and picked up the tab. [Star]
• Ryan Gosling has a band, and the band has a video, and it's here. [Pop Sugar]
• Oh, Christ: After enduring all kinds of shit for those bikini pictures, now this headline from the Daily Fail: "Has Jennifer Love Hewitt Lost Too Much Weight?" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher are shooting a flick called Five Killers and it appears that they kiss. [Socialite Life]
• "How Poor Suri Cruise Has Become A Style Victim At Just Three Years Of Age." [Daily Mail]
• Behold: Victoria Beckham in enormous shoulder pads. [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley have left the country to vacation in Thailand and you have not. [Just Jared]
• It's not that Serena Williams can't find a pair of bikini bottoms that fit, it's that her derriere is awesome and will not be held down! [Daily Mail]
• Anna Kournikova took part in a triathlon in Miami on Sunday. [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Seal will sing the National Anthem at the Red Sox/Tampa Bay Rays game today! [The Star]
• You may find this hard to believe, but Gary Coleman regrets doing a movie titled Midgets vs. Mascots. He has a YouTube rant explaining his mortgage made him do it. [Page Six]
• Possible new couple: 50 Cent and Ciara. [Page Six]
• Bai Ling wants you to know that Bai Ling never had sex with Mickey Rourke. [Page Six]
• A square-faced Jack Black slays demons with his guitar in a new video game called Brutal Legend. Check out his heart-shaped soul patch! [Wired]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are not only back on, but looking for a "love nest" in Santa Monica. Megan wants ocean views because "she loves the beach and spotting dolphins." [Star Magazine]
• The series finale of ER did okay, ratings-wise, but not as well as Cheers or Friends. [AdAge]
• Miley Cyrus' wardrobe in the Hannah Montana movie is "clean cut, wholesome and decidedly demure." Are times changing?!?! [LA Times]
• Between Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift and Julianne Hough, women ruled at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Do you have to be blonde and toothy, or is it just a coincidence? [Yahoo News ia AP]
• Christina Ricci will star in a "porn-tinged comedy" co-written by Adam Sandler. She'll play "an innocent girlfriend." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Hudson's fans worry about her and can't stop talking about how they hope she doesn't cry while she is singing. [Washington Post]
• Jennifer Hudson says, "I'm fine, I'm happy." [USA Today]
• By now you must have heard: Demi Moore saved a suicidal woman's life via Twitter? [The Star]
• Brandon Michael Vayda, who plays Mike on 90210, pulled some guy out of a taxi and "beat the living crap out of him" outside of a nightclub. [TMZ]
• Alex DeSilva, a choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance, was arrested Saturday and charged with four counts of sexual assault. All of his victims were his students at the time. [E!]
• Fox's Roger Friedman wrote about the leaked flick Wolverine (which the FBI is investigating) in his column, saying, "It took really less than seconds to start playing it all right onto my computer." Now he's been fired. Whoops! [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr sang together for the first time in years at a benefit to introduce children to transcendental meditation. And yes, David Lynch runs the foundation in question. [Breitbart]
• Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials were inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. [NY Times]
• Fast & Furious sped away with a $72.5 million box office, which is huge. Huge. [Breitbart]
• Thousands lined the streets of London and Essex at the funeral of Jade Goody, which this paper calls "Princess Diana-style." [Daily Mail]'
• Jade Goody's family says they don't want her grave to be a shrine, "trampled by strangers." [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which C-list Hollywood stud was so drunk and desperate that he showed up at the home of an L.A. gossip reporter and demanded a booty call? Guess what, folks? She accepted!" [Gatecrasher]
• "There's a time for celebration and I partake, sure. But you know, it's important not to let that become too big of a distraction. The more you have access to, the harder it is to remain focused. You know what, I do not want to fall victim to that, it's too easy and too often done. It's out of style anyway, I think too many people have done it before me, I'm not going to. It's uncool, yeah. I think the rebellious thing to do would to actually be successful." — Zac Efron on drinking and the Hollywood party scene. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I'm excited to not have everything scheduled in advance. I can just call up a friend and grab lunch. I can wear white when I want to — I could never do that on camera. I can go backless!" — Lauren Conrad, on her plans for her life after The Hills. [LA Times]
• "It's kind of like a self-aware observational comedy of the simplest thing in the world, which isn't so simple." — Bob Saget on his new show, Surviving Suburbia. [NY Daily News]
• "People will always say that I'm over-exposed and that's what I want, all this attention. That's not it. What I love is the art of it all." — Miley Cyrus. [NY Daily News]
• "Somebody said to me 'Well, you know what? You just got such a big mouth and you just know how to talk to people. Did you ever think about runnin' for president?' I said 'I think we've had enough boobs in the White House.'" — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]
• "Some of my best compliments are on a $15 Ross dress. Ross gets you a weird look, but I've rocked two or three good pieces from there over the years." — Rosario Dawson. [New York Mag]
• "Well, I certainly got hit on a lot. And a lotta men thought I was as silly as I looked, I guess. You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I don't know what's goin' on, I then got the money, and gone." — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]

Contributing editor Margaret assists as we try and reach the pinnacle of celebrity "news" by reading In Touch, Life & Style, Us, Ok! and Star. Results below.

Ok!
"Best Friends!"
Katie Holmes and Angelina Jolie are both in New York for films, but "the working moms' most important project while in Manhattan is coordinating a playdate for their two adorable toddlers!" Not that it has happened yet. Still, the mag pushes the kids together on the elaborately Photoshopped cover and inside there's another composite photo where it almost looks like Suri and Shiloh are standing on the same sidewalk, except you know that they are not, because the photos are months apart. The cover is a real achievement since it involved cutting out Shiloh's basket so that Suri's dress would appear behind the handle, even though these children HAVE NEVER MET. Moving on: Mariska Hargitay is recuperating from her second surgery in two months from complications after suffering a collapsed lung. Be well! A story about how Tim Gunn has a little crush on Anderson Cooper is illustrated with tiny hearts (Fig. 1). Tim says he loves Coop's "brain, looks and style. He's fabulous!" Margaret wants them to be boyfriends and have little well-dressed babies. Gwen Stefani's kid Kingston has a crush on their neighbor, Britney Spears: "He think [Britney] is really great and cute, and he flirts with her," Gwen says. A story about Briney being on tour contains this sentence: "This tour had a totally unexpected impact on Britney and her own kids, turning them into a real family," a "friend" of Brit's tells the mag. Because they used to be a fake family, you see. Lastly, in a Rihanna story, an insider claims Rihanna is "desperate" to keep Chris Brown out of jail. Ugh.
Grade: F (falling down a flight of stairs)

In Touch
"Friends Fear It Will End In Death."
Perhaps coincidentally, the picture of Chris Brown inside shows a skull tattoo on his hand. The article is about how Chris could kill Rihanna, but there is no new information. Moving on: "Posh Steals Tom's Style" made us LOL (Fig. 2). Next, there's a spread which seems to insinuate that Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick is hot for some dude with whom he attended a Knicks game (Fig 3). Love the way they gaze into each other's eyes and whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears. Jessica Simpson is "back in her Daisy Dukes" but they are actually not the same shorts she wore in 2004; though they are the same jean shorts she wore in 2007. Also: Who cares? A spread called "Stars Are Starting To Look Like Vampires" is about pale skin and red lips. Yeah, Dita Von Teese is pictured.
Grade: D- (getting stuck in an elevator)





Us
"Bachelor Revenge!"
Margaret says she read the whole story and found it "boring and stupid and made-up." Apparently after they filmed After The Final Rose Melissa Rycroft sent Jason Mesnick emails that were leaked online. (By her, one assumes?) In them she said: "I can't believe you did that to me publicly. I can't even tell you how much respect I lost for you. Seeing the person that you became you are right: A relationship between you are I would never work." That is like when someone dumps you and you say, "No, I am dumping you!" Moving on: A sidebar about celebrity babysitters reveals which stars sat for other stars: William H. Macy used to babysit for Jeremy Piven; Kristen Bell used to babysit Hayden Panettiere; Alice Cooper used to babysit for Keanu Reeves; Michael Bolton used to watch Paula Abdul. Next: Nadya Suleman, known in this mag as "Octomom," wrote a letter to her 14 kids (?!?) and Us hired a handwriting analyst to study it. Because Suleman didn't loop her "G," she has unfulfilled wishes and dreams. Sad! But hopefully her "wishes" aren't for more kids. Oh, so the video of her giving birth is being shopped for $1 million and apparently Suleman wanted it shot so her other kids could see the miracle of life. Plus, in a Radaronline interview, when asked if she would do porn, Suleman said: "Who wants to see me naked? Maybe in a year when the baby fat goes away." So that's not a no? In a Chris and Rihanna story, Bow Wow, a friend of the couple, says the rumors of a pregnancy and secret wedding are not true. A "friend" of Rihanna's says: "Am I scared for her? Hell yeah. I saw the girl's face. She looked like chopped liver. He could kill her next time." The DA tells Us that since Chris texted an apology to Rihanna's assistant "that amounts to a confession." Also: "If she says she hit him first, that could very well be the difference whether he spends any time in jail or not." Plus: America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene Gonzalez says she was in an abusive relationship for four years. She's put two restraining orders on him since winning the show.
Grade: D (climbing extremely steep stairs on hands and knees)

Life & Style
"Force To Diet."
Though Katie Holmes's rep denies it, the mag claims Kate is on a "Scientology detox diet known as a purification rundown." It's a combination of exercise, vitamins, nutrition and sauna that dislodges drug residue and other toxins. Sounds fun! But: Taking niacin has maybe made Katie's skin yellow. A reporter asked her about her favorite restaurants, and she held up a drink and said, "As you can see, I'm on my liquid diet right now." Have you seen Angelina and Brad's Long Island living room? It's insane (Fig. 4)! The house has a "shocking past" — wild parties! A feng shui consultant who does not work for Brad and Angie says: "If they want to cleanse the energy of the home, they could go around the perimeter of it with sage or ringing a bell. In every corner you clap your hands to break up the energy. Energy often gets caught in corners." Good to know. Rihanna has been invited to go on Oprah's show, but Chris told her not to do it, saying it would make things worse. According to a friend. And: "She really did change her email address and her cell phone number." Rihanna isn't talking to friends or family who don't support her decision to get back with Chris. There's an "exclusive" interview with Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger about the breast reduction she got. She went to an associate of Dr. 90210 (Dr. Rey) because she saw him on TV. Lastly, this week in Dr. Rey's Casebook: Necks. Anne Hathaway's is "wrinkle-free," maybe because she is 27? Nicole Kidman's neck is "loose." She is 41. Jane Krakowski, 40, would "appear younger" with 28-year-old Kristen Bell's neck. (Fig. 5)
Grade: D+ (riding an elevator which stops at every floor)

Star
"Caught: Brad & The Nanny!"
Here's the deal with Brad Pitt and the nanny: Brad walked into the twins' room and saw the nanny sitting on the bed. He asked what was wrong and she told him she didn't feel well. He sat down next to her and started rubbing her back. "It really was all very innocent," says an insider. But if they were alone in the room, who is this person?? Anyway. Angelina walked in and "flipped out." She "got right in Brad's face, screaming at the top of her lungs and told the nanny to get out of her house and never come back." Then the commotion woke the babies and they started crying; Angie just snapped. "She slapped Brad right across the face. He was stunned." Brad stormed out of the house and went on a long motorcycle ride. Now the kids are upset because the nanny is gone and Angie gets mad when they ask where the lady went. Moving on: Jennifer Love Hewitt is now dating Jamie Kennedy. Blind item! "Which aging sexpot needs to get a handle on her carnal instincts? Diners at a chic LA eatery were disgusted by a sloppy makeout session with her younger lover. Such bad taste!" Miley Cyrus has fake teeth and they fell out of her mouth at a recent photo shoot. Brad and Angie have "added another kid" to their brood: Shiloh's imaginary friend, Amy. Shiloh says she likes Amy better than Knox and Viv. "Jake Puts A Ring On It" is about how Reese Witherspoon showed up at a photo shoot wearing an engagement ring, but took it off when she saw people staring. She's not ready to go public with it, but Gyllenhaal popped the question. Two pictures of Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr and Ed Westwick on vacation in Jamaica. An insider says Chris Brown won Rihanna back "with the promise of marriage and babies" but now "he's made it clear that if she even thinks of leaving, she'll pay for it." "One minute he's whispering sweet nothings to her and the next he's making threats." Next: Britney and Kevin are falling in love again. While on tour in Florida, Brit took the family to Disneyworld and booked a whole floor at a hotel for her camp. An insider says: "Her room was only four doors down the corridor from Kevin's! They looked awfully friendly when they met up in the hallway!" The two allegedly stay up all night talking in hotel rooms and backstage, Kevin hugged Britney and told her she looked "gorgeous" before she went on. A different insider says there's been "some kissing." The sister of Bristol Palin's baby daddy Levi Johnston, Mercede Johnston, tells the mag that Bristol broke up with Levi more than a month ago, is not attending school and rarely lets Levi see their son. Scandal! Is Paula Abdul only acting like she is over Idol and into her jewelry line? Or does she want producers to beg her to stay? Finally: "We Love Our Curves" is an eight page photo-driven story about "curvy" celebs. The mag claims Beyoncé is a size 12, Jennifer Hudson is a size 10 and Mad Men's Christina Hendricks is a 10. Does that make any sense?
Grade: C- (stuck going up endless narrow, ancient stone spiral staircase)

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• Madonna took Jesus Luz to a Kabbalah service. Again. This paper calls her "the world's most boring date." [Daily Mail]

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou got married in Africa over the summer??? Well, it was a ceremony. But it's not necessarily legal in the U.S. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Holmes has to make weekly written confessions as part of her "commitment" to Scientology. "Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend," says a source. "If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened." [Daily Mail]
• Jolie-Pitt alert: After filming a few scenes for Salt in Washington DC, Angelina and the brood will hit New York tomorrow. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now that Amy Winehouse is rested and ready after a long vacay in St. Lucia, she says she's got writer's block. "I'm not feeling creative," she says. "I start things but I don't finish them. I know when stuff is rubbish." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: Amy Winehouse has been denied a US work visa and can't appear at Coachella next month. [Mirror]
• Britney Spears spent Saturday visiting sick kids at Miami's Children's Hospital. [People]
• Chris Brown has been hard at work, recording tracks for his new album. It's odd thinking about anyone buying it. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh, wait: Guess who is experiencing steady album sales? Chris Brown. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Rihanna is also focusing on music. [Yahoo News via E!, Extra]
• TMZ's Harvey Levin says the unseen Rihanna photos are worse than the one leaked: He calls them "horrific" and "monstrous." [Tennessee Guerilla Women]
• Chris Brown wants his plea to be to a misdemeanor — with no jail time. [TMZ]
• Why is Chris Brown up for a Kids' Choice Award? A Nickelodeon exec says he "was nominated by kids several months ago, and the kids who vote will ultimately decide who wins in the category." [TMZ]
• Oprah to Rihanna: "He will hit you again." [NY Daily News]
• How do we feel about this: Ashlee Simpson landed a role on the new Melrose Place. [EW]
• Zanessa! Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will get married in September, says this source whose reliability we question. Disney wedding? We've got dresses! [PopCrunch]
• Prince Harry was seen "laughing and joking" with Astrid Harbord, a friend of Kate Middleton's. This paper calls her "the new blonde." [Daily Mail]
• This piece is all about how Freida Pinto got cast in Slumdog Millionaire; she was a model and had an "edge" because she was "confident and articulate." [Hindustan Times]
• So you know how Michael Jackson's possessions were up for sale? The auction house catalogs have been published. See a painting of MJ in Henry the Eighth garb; a carousel horse given to him by Liz Taylor, and some sculptures, including one of two boys plating leapfrog. [Fox 411]
• One of Martha Stewart's dogs has gone to heaven: Ghenghis Khan died in a freak propane explosion. [TMZ]
• The guy who usually dubs Sean Penn's voice for all of his movies in Brazil refused to do the voice in Milk. "I did not feel comfortable with the job," he said. Is it because Harvey Milk is gay and you're a pastor? [Variety]
• Leonardo DiCaprio, Lukas Haas, Tobey Maguire and Kevin Dillon went on a bike ride around New York's East Village Friday. An eyewitness says it was "really uncool." [UPI]
• Speaking of cycling, Matt Damon was among 35,000 riders attempting a 68 mile bike trek in South Africa on Sunday. [Daily Express]
• Dancing With The Stars producers are downplaying the fact that they lost two contestants — Jewel and Nancy O'Dell — and hyping the announcement of their replacements, whose identities will be revealed tonight. Except don't we know that one is Holly Madison? [UPI]
• So maybe you knew that Jodi Lyn O'Keefe — of She's All That, Prison Break, and various TV shows — has been dating John Cusack. Bet you didn't know that she's broke up with him because he won't marry her? [Star]
• You may have noticed this, but Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is trying to reposition himself. He's no longer just a former wrestler but into comedies and films for children. "Audiences, particularly kids, seem to love discovering that a guy this big and this good looking is actually very sweet and very funny," says his Race To Witch Mountain director. [NY Times]
• Macy Gray will appear as a guest performer/lecturer on the first day of a UCLA Extension course on the music business this spring. The course is run by Doors manager Jeffrey Jampolm who says: "Macy Gray is getting on the cutting edge of where music is going. She just made a new record that she financed herself. She owns it, and she's going to market it independently." [LA Times]
• Russell Brand is now in the music biz, managing a little-known singer-songwriter named Simon Kaye, who performs under the name Little Wonder. Apparently there's a record label bidding war to sign this guy, so prepare yourself. (Video of his latest song at the link.) [The Sun]
• There's a new DA and a new task force on the JonBenét Ramsey case, more than 12 years later. [People]
• Are Elizabeth Hurley and husband Arun Nayar in a fast car to splitsville? [Hindustan Times]
• Hurley's rep does not deny rumors of a separation. [Telgraph]
• Here's a profile on Joan Allen, who stars in a Broadway play called Impressionism. [NY Times]
• Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss has been cast in a romcom called Did You Hear About The Morgans?; Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker are already attached. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Interesting: There's going to be a remake of the dark comedy Death At A Funeral, with Tracy Morgan, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. No word on whether Peter Dinklage will be in this version! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Julia Roberts will produce Jesus Henry Christ, a comedy about a boy conceived in a petri-dish and raised by a loving, left-wing feminist. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Joss Stone's CD has been delayed until July. [Daily Mail]
• Rita Wilson, Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be in an untitled Nancy Meyers flick; Her movie What Women Want was the most successful film ever directed by a woman. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mick Jagger, his girlfriend L'Wren Scott and his son Lucas went to the Getty Center in L.A., and because L'Wren held the nine-year-old kid's hand, this paper claims she "played mom." [Daily Mail]
• Sigh: Pixie Geldof was turned down by the art school she applied to. [Daily Mail]
• Jade Goody and her sons were christened in the hospital where she is being treated for terminal cancer. Jade may only have days to live. [Daily Mail]
• Charles Barkley had a news conference, shook hands and posed for pictures over the weekend. While in jail. [TMZ]
• M.I.A. says she never named her baby Ickitt. So what is the little boy's name? [Daily News]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva just got her second boob job? Bet you didn't know about the first one, either - it's that good, and that out of character." [Gatecrasher]
• "Kate Moss is a vampire who stole my style." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to be [pregnant for a while] because I'm going on tour. I wouldn't want to do that to the poor child." And: "At first I would just stay in and wouldn't go outside [because of the paparazzi], but I would start getting bored with the treadmill and I like to hike outside. I'm not going to let them rule my life. For me it's not about being thin. For me it's about being in shape and being healthy. I have to have stamina onstage or I lose my breath very easily." — Fergie on trying for a baby and getting in shape. [Mirror]
• "I'm still baffled as to why people are so interested in my life. It's so weird – even my dog Norman gets recognized. I'm cutting him off – I've told him, no more Oprah appearances!" — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I have never been a woman who dreams about getting married and having children and having that house in Connecticut. On the contrary, I've always gone with the flow. I enjoy the moment because life goes on while you try to make plans; it's better to make the most of every second. So I just try to live in the present." — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I spent my time cross stitching. But I made it fun by stitching naughty words into handkerchiefs. There were long gaps between filming and I was bored, so it kept me occupied." — Miranda Richardson, on her hobby while filming The Young Victoria. [Daily Mail]
• "We have a similar sense of humor. Our list of priorities in our personal lives are not different. We are both happily married with families and lead a pretty normal, unaffected existence within in this odd universe of show business that we've both chosen to go into." — Julia Roberts on Duplicity costar Clive Owen. [People]
• "It was really funny seeing Baz Luhrmann and Rob [Pattinson] singing a David Bowie song. It was a talky one so they both could sort of talk to each other, and they were riffing back and forth. They were looking longingly into each other's eyes."— Kristen Stewart, who says she hopes there will be a movie based on the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "Look! [Suri] painted these canvas ballet slippers. Isn't she the best? She'll be 3 soon. It's such a good age. She was in musical school this year, but starts real school next year." — Katie Holmes. [Gatecrasher]
• "I actually worked as a kid at the Dallas Times Herald, because my dad had worked with [American journalist] Bill Moyers and then his son was working at the Times Herald and I got a job as a runner one summer. And as a kid it was really exciting to be around in the summertime doing that." — Owen Wilson, on his stint in journalism. [The Star]
• "I'm excited to have a girl. I was saying I didn't know if I could ever love someone more [than my son]. So I'm happy it's a girl. That way, I can love my boy like crazy, and I can love my girl like crazy. They'll feel even." — Pregnant Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford. [Gatecrasher]
• "It's all different from what I was taught in gymnastics. I have to learn to let go and just be emotional." — Shawn Johnson, on Dancing With The Stars. [LA Times]
• "I've had enough of women." — Colin Farrell. [Daily Express]
• "I have no desire [to have children]. I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids - because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." — Kelly Clarkson. [USA Today]
• "I don't think unique creativity can be put into a shape. What leaves a bad taste with trying to create pop stars overnight these days is that they seem to try to identify people according to a size or a shape and say what will work. It's like trying to create artists with a cookie cutter! I don't like how the judging works on The X Factor. Who are the judges to say what's good and what isn't? I hate the cruelty and humiliation of it. And when it's a kid or a teenager I can't bear them to be ripped to shreds. Does it really have to be so cruel?" — Annie Lennox. [Daily Express]

[Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; February 3. Image via INF]

[Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; February 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Guy Richie will not fight ex-wife Madonna's plans to move their children to the United States, claiming that he would rather keep his children together than tear them apart with a nasty custody battle. [Mirror]

• ""It is quite simple in Guy's eyes - Rocco comes before him. He has always put Rocco and David's future ahead of his own and this is why he has relented," says a source, "He is adamant he wants to keep the boys and their sister Lourdes together. He does not want to tear them apart from each other. Guy is telling Rocco and David he will still see them a lot.He is already making plans to visit the children in America and looking at the possibility of them having holidays in England."[Mirror]
• Nick Lachey is the latest member of the "Leave Jessica Alone!" brigade: "I can't believe it's this big of a story and people are making such a huge deal about it. I'm never ceased to be amazed by people's reaction to things," Lachey says, "I hope she's happy, whatever size she comes in. I wish her nothing but the best." [People]
• And Heidi Klum agrees with him: "there are always people who are quick to offer an opinion and when you are in the public eye, people will always talk about you and put their opinions on you. That's what you get when you're in the public eye. But people need to be happy with the way they are." [People]
• As does Simpson's brother-in-law, Pete Wentz: "I think the media puts too harsh of a spotlight on women in general and I think it's a bummer. It's bad for young women. I see it affecting young girls who come to our shows and that's a bummer. Real beauty is on the inside, man." [NME]
• Is Katie Holmes afraid to leave Tom Cruise? A source says yes: "As much as Tom loves her now, Katie believes that if she left him, he'd make it difficult for her to see their daughter Suri. She's already seen how that would play out - because after Tom and Nicole Kidman divorced, he pretty much took control of their two children. Before Tom, she always had loads of friends and loved to go out. Now she must feel like she's living Tom's life, not her own."[ShowbizSpy]
• Uh-oh: did 30 Rock steal material from the Sarah Silverman Program?[Videogum]
• Britney Spears' father, Jamie, has just filed restraining orders against Britney's ex-boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, and ex-manager, Sam Lutfi, claiming that the two men "are now working in concert to disrupt the conservatorship with utter disregard for Ms. Spears's health and well being." [People]
• Tom Jones is keeping it classy on his new tour, ladies: the singer says he's stopped dyeing his hair and won't be encouraging the underwear tossing that has dominated his past shows. "I don't capitalize on it as much as I used to," Jones says,"I used to pick it up and do shtick with it and all that, which I stopped doing because it was encouraging it." [AP]
• Amy Adams is still trying to balance celebrity and her everyday life: "I'll pick up my allergy medication and the pharmacist will say, 'I love you'. I'll be like, 'I'm just glad I'm not picking up something embarrassing.' Suddenly you realise you're not a private person any more. It's okay, just jarring, to realise that everything you do can be scrutinised or evaluated. But don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for where I'm at."[Independent]
• Kimora Lee Simmons, who recently announced her pregnancy with Djimon Hounsou, has finally finalized her divorce from (now) ex-husband Russell. Yahoo]
• Evangeline Lilly is auctioning off a line of lingerie on Ebay to support Task Brazil, a charity that "provides housing, aid and guidance to children and teens living on the streets of the South American nation." Lilly says: "Here on eBay I'm offering beautiful, Brazilian-made lingerie as a fun, enticing way for you to not only invest in yourself but in the poor and abandoned children of Brazil." [E!]
• Steve Martin: Action Star? "I've always dreamed of doing an action movie," Martin says, "I'm very proud of the movies I've done and I have done some action scenes but I would have loved to have gone all out with all guns blazing like those guys, just once."[ShowbizSpy]
• Sex and the City creator Michael Patrick King admits that he had to fight to cast Jennifer Hudson in the first film: "It can't be called Sex and the City without a little color—it's just wrong," King says, "Women are very nice when they figure out who I am. And the only negative comment I ever got about the series was every now and then, some woman of color—whether it'd be Latina or an African-American—they'd stop and say, 'Where are the sisters?' in my ear, and I was like, 'Yeah, where are they?'"[Yahoo]
• My 7th grade love, Val Kilmer, will be the celebrity king of the Krewe of Bacchus parade in New Orleans on Feb. 22. [AP]
• Taylor Swift had to deal with some serious Mean Girls growing up: "I had a group of friends when I was about 12. [Then] they all just decided they didn't wanna hang out with me anymore. I would go and sit down at the lunch table with my friends. And they would get up and move their trays to another table," Swift tells Katie Couric. Maybe because you wore sweatpants? Or a ponytail more than once a week? [CBS]
• Robert Pattinson continues his "answering dumb questions with even dumber answers tour," claiming that he doesn't like to tell people he's an actor because "It's kinda cheesy, so I prefer to say I do something else. I don't like the word 'acting'. I prefer the word 'creating,' because I want to build a character with an idea that turns into something that people will remember." Oh, dude. Dude! Stop it![ShowbizSpy]
• DMX, or as I like to call him, Mr. Earl Simmons, has been sentenced to 90 days in jail for various charges, including animal cruelty. Goodbye, Earl! [Mirror]
• And finally, in beautiful people news, Brad Pitt admits that his life is chaotic, but he loves every minute of it: "It's chaos at times, but there's such joy in the house," Pitt says. And as for the lady in his life? "Angelina and I are together because we can enhance each other. I don't want to waste any time because I'm with company I really, really love." He then added, "I'm sevvvven, but I look a lot olllderrr." Ok no, that was me. I can't stop doing my Benjamin Button impression, you guys. It's becoming a serious problem. It's starting to scarrrre myyy dogggg. [People]

• Prince Harry and his girlfriend of nearly 5 years, Chelsy Davy, are dunzo: Davy initiated the break up and has already made the breakup official by changing her Facebook relationship status to "single." Oh, snap!

• Davy blames the breakup on Harry's military career: "She and Harry had an incredible holiday together, but after he left, she really started thinking and realised he wouldn’t have much time with her during his training with the Army," a source says. The breakup, however, is reported to be "amicable." [DailyMail]
• Kanye West isn't too happy about the nasty things 50 Cent has been saying about him. "I can't say that it doesn't affect me. I was such a fan of 50," Kanye says, "For me, as a fan of him, I felt, like, if he said something negative and tried to make it like I'm negative, it's almost like if a little kid walks up to you at the airport and is like, 'Man, I love you so much,' and then you spit on him."[ShowbizSpy]
• Shakira was very impressed by the Obamas when she met them: "He really gets in touch with every person and connects with every person he's talking to,"she says of the President, "You know he's in the moment, and that is pretty remarkable. And he was very warm and very nice, as well as Michelle. What a woman, she's very intelligent and also very accessible. I really liked them. I don't sound very objective when I talk about the Obamas because I like them too much." [Popdirt]
• Julianne Moore is enjoying her forties: "When you're younger, you're always working for something, and now you realize, this is really it," Moore says,"You'd better be enjoying this, because this is pretty good."[People]
• Rumer Willis, who admits she once had posters of her step-father, Ashton Kutcher, on her wall before Kutcher married her mother, says she's not interested in riding her parents' coattails to fame: "Most people’s idea of celebrity children is that they are trust-fund babies who don’t have any desire to work and are just going to ride their parents’ train. But I never wanted to be that girl," Willis says. Mmm-hmm. [DailyMail]
• What?! The inaugural song played by Yo-Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman was actually a tape, due to the cold weather: "They had to perform in such cold weather, the instruments couldn't possibly be in tune," says Carole Florman, a spokeswoman for the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, "They were able to play in sync with the tape. It's not unusual."[MSNBC]
• Is Paul McCartney getting married for a third time? A source says he's ready to propose to his girlfriend, Nancy Shevell, after getting his daughter Stella's approval. "Paul is a big believer in the institution of marriage," the source says, "and his friends are in absolutely no doubt he will propose to Nancy in time."[ShowbizSpy]
• Meanwhile, Paul's ex, Heather Mills, is now comparing herself to Hillary Clinton: "When you marry a Beatle, you marry 120 million fans who are also madly in love with him. This has meant years of hurtful and untrue press... my friends remind me that this happens to many strong, successful women," Mills says, "I've watched my friend Hillary Clinton go through a hell of a time and still come out on top due to her strength."[ShowbizSpy]
• Are Kirsten Dunst and Josh Hartnett an item? "They were whispering and smiling at each other," says a source. "At times it looked like she wanted to grab his hand, but stopped. She was especially smitten with him."[PageSix]
• Tom Cruise insists that his daughter, Suri, is very happy and not sheltered in the slightest: "[Suri] is such a happy girl, and I think that Kate is an extraordinary mother and very calm. Protecting her, but also you don’t want her to be sheltered in any way, and to be able to be engaged in life, and I think that’s like any parent.”[JustJared]
• Meryl Streep isn't going to lie about how much it actually sucks to lose an Oscar, once you're nominated: "When you lose you think ‘my work wasn’t any good’,” Streep says, "But it’s an honor to be nominated, and it is! It is. But you just feel worse when you lose than you did before you got nominated.” [Reuters]
• Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of Our Lives. And yet, our Days will be a little less wacky without John and Marlena (Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn) who have been written off of the show after 20 years. But who will the Devil possess now?! [EW]
• Kate Winslet and husband Sam Mendes refuse to fly together, for fear that a plane crash will take them both away from their children. Mendes was scheduled to fly aboard American Airlines Flight 77 on September 11, 2001, but missed the plane due to last minute plans. "Where possible, Kate and Sam do prefer to travel in separate planes," a spokeswoman says, "It is not always possible but, for obvious reasons regarding the children, they do travel separately when they can."[DailyMail]
• Tracy Morgan admits that he has a pretty hilarious tattoo in a very private place: the words "Stove Top" are etched along the side of his, uh, stuffing. "I’m pretty well-endowed," Morgan tells Maxim, "A girl told me to get that because I stuffed her up like a turkey. She said, ‘You should call that Stove Top!’"[CollegeCandy]
• 22-year-old Katie Stam of Indiana was crowned Miss America last night, overcoming laryngitis and a throat infection to take the crown. Meanwhile, Hortense was crowned Miss Chocolate Donuts in her home this morning, overcoming below zero temperatures to go to the store to pick up breakfast. There she is! Miss Chocolate Dooonuts! There she is! There's frosting on her shirt! [NYTimes]

However, we were impressed that when Elisabeth started gushing about the brilliance of budding fashionista Suri, Tom said that everyone thinks their own child is incredible, "but I feel that way about all three of our kids." Though the ladies of The View tried to find out whether 16-year-old Bella is dating yet, Tom didn't really answer and explained that the kids don't like him sharing details about their personal lives. He did talk about going to his son Connor's audition to play a young Will Smith in Seven Pounds, and said he's proud he won the role himself. Connor may indeed be a fine actor, but having Will Smith and Tom Cruise walk into the audition room with you can't hurt. Clip above.

[New York, January 8. Image via INF]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn: Hung out all evening. For real. And! Is LL in denial about the fact that Samantha Ronson has broken up with her? [Page Six]

• Lindsay looks pretty good in this behind-the-scenes video from her Interview magazine cover shoot. [Pop Dirt]
• Close friends and family attended the memorial service for Jett Travolta yesterday afternoon. Lisa Marie Presley, James Gandolfini, Kirstie Alley, Garth Brooks and wife Trisha Yearwood, Forest Whitaker and wife Keisha were among the mourners. [USA Today]
• Nicole Kidman on watching herself in Australia: "I squirmed in my seat. I can't look at this movie and be proud of what I've done. I sat there and I looked at Keith and went, 'Am I any good in this movie?'" [Daily Mail]
• Angelina and Brad are not, repeat, not married. Taraji P. Henson slipped when she called Angelina Brad's wife: "I mean, they have a family, they live together. What is married really? It's like they are married." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Wow, the Golden Globes website announced that Anne Hathaway won a Golden Globe for Rachel Getting Married a few days early! The info has since disappeared, but if you're in an office pool, consider this one a freebie. [Socialite Life via New York Mag, JustJared]
• Katie Holmes walked into a busy Dean & Deluca in SoHo, Manhattan yesterday, carrying Suri. She waited on line to pay for a cookie for Suri and then walked down the block to Uniqlo, where Suri ate her cookie and Katie bought cardigans. [WWD]
• Lily Allen is giving up clubbing! She has a whole new modus operandi: "I hang out with much older people. I go for dinners at posh places and talk about art. I’m meeting more interesting people who tax my brain." [The Sun]
• Ashley Olsen doesn't wash her hands when she leaves a public toilet. [Page Six]
• Oh dear. Everything was going so well down in the Caribbean. But now Amy Winehouse has hurled a glass of water at a female tourist. She apologized. But a source says: "She walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. She’s hardly the most popular guest." But, isn't that the way people act on vacation? [The Sun]
• Fill in the blank! Twilight star Robert Pattinson said the following to a chick at a bar in L.A.: "If I could, I’d have a _____ on the inside of my elbow so I could lick it all day long." [Gatecrasher]
• Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie, Bruno, is sure to piss some people off: There's a black model called Jesus wearing a loincloth and a crown of thorns; and Bruno, the gay Austrian fashion journalist, along with his boyfriend, Diesel, adopts an orphaned African baby boy named David and takes the kid to fashion shows. [Telegraph]
• Kanye West talks about his run-ins with the paparazzi in the new issue of Vibe: "I haven’t done anything violent. They make it seem like I actually went and hit the paparazzi. I haven’t. I was restrained. I’m good at restraining myself from committing violent acts. I know how to control my temper. That one paparazzo made it a bigger deal. I just put my hand up and he felt like he had more right to my personal space than I did. I put my hand up to stop him from shooting me." [Concrete Loop]
• Jermaine Dupri, like so many others lately, is out of a job. He was president of Island Records Urban Music. [Perez]
• This report claims Dupri was fired… because he stopped coming to work. [Page Six]
• Some trickster sent a handwritten letter and a demo CD to Rolling Stone in the name of Sean "Puffy" Combs, along with a pack of gum and a photo of Diddy, "intended as bribes." Nice try. [Rolling Stone]
• There's something oddly charming about this Chloë Sevigny Esquire interview, like when she explains her name: "The umlaut isn't on my birth certificate. I had this book as a child called Chloë and Maude, and there was an umlaut on the e, and I said, I want that! It's a little flair. Just to confuse people even more. People always come up to me and say, Oh, you're Chloë Se-VIG-ny, right? Sevigny. Number seven, letter e." [Esquire]
• You probably forgot that R. Kelly was married, so it will probably come as a shock to you that he is now officially divorced. [E!]
• Fergie's wedding to Josh Duhamel this saturday will be a "blinged-out affair." She's working with H. Stern on the jewelry, which means a PR blitz, which means pictures of the ceremony in the weeklies, for sure. [WWD]
• Patricia Arquette wants you to know that animal overpopulation is as easy as ABC: Animal Birth Control. [ONTD]
• Blind item! "Which mega-athlete got duped by his wife? She swore she was on the pill but wasn’t, and that led to an unexpected bundle of joy." [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones' new NBC sitcom is not an Office spinoff; there's a hospital involved, and Human Giant's Aziz Ansari will also star. He says: "The script is hilarious." [Gatecrasher]
• Will TR Knight stay with Grey's Anatomy? Chandra Wilson says yes: "Every script that comes down has O'Malley's name in it, so we're going to do right by the fans, and we're going to do right by the actors, but right now we're all together." [E!]
• Lil' Kim did not go to see the new flick about Notorious B.I.G., but Faith Evans, who was married to Big Poppa, says: "I couldn’t even watch the trailer without crying. I’m going to have to peel off my fake eyelashes!" [Gatecrasher]
• If you're interested in knowing what Kelly Clarkson's new CD cover looks like, click away. [Perez]
• Scott Weiland is out of rehab but still has a terrible temper; he was seen calling some woman a piece of trash and throwing a pack of cigarettes at her head. [Page Six]
• Merle Haggard is suing an environmental awareness group for illegally using his name and likeness. But doesn't the planet need the cash??? [AP]
• Serena Williams looks all PLAKOW in this behind-the-scenes video from her shoot for H magazine. [The Life Files]
• "I don't really have any concept of how money works. I don't know how much things cost. Like a BMW. Or a quart of milk. It's embarrassing. My brother, when he was a commodities trader, would bring me the pamphlets you bring home to your children, like, 'Daddy trades orange juice.'" — Chloë Sevigny. [Esquire]
• "I do think it’s my best album to date. No, I actually know this is my best album to date. Do I think it will be my best album ever? No, I'll improve. Do I think there are mistakes in it? Yes. There has to be. I’m a human being. But I think it surpasses Graduation. These 12 tracks are going to resonate more than any 12 tracks of any album this year." — Kanye West on his current CD, 808s & Heartbreak. [Concrete Loop]
• "I've been living two different lives. By day I've got the leading role in a movie, in spite of having no acting training and very little experience. That's weird in itself. And at night I go home and my mum is telling me to make my bed, keep my room tidy and help with the washing-up. It keeps my feet on the ground, stops me from letting it all go to my head." — Dev Patel of Slumdog Millionaire. [Daily Mail]

[New York, December 29. Image via Flynet]

• Did a knock down, drag out fight with Lilo land Samantha Ronson in the hospital for "exhaustion"?

• According to TMZ: "Neighbors tell us [Lindsay and Sam] were going at it for a long time, but it reached a crescendo at around 4:00 AM after one of them screamed at the other, 'You never say you love me.'" [TMZ
• Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna and Stella McCartney had a girls night out in London after Madge handed over her kids to ex-husband Guy Ritchie for the evening. Madge obviously knows that the best break up medicine (besides an affair with A-Rod) is a night out with the ladies. [Daily Mail]
• Lance Armstrong is expecting another child with girlfriend Anna Hansen. He has three children from his first marriage to ex-wife Kristin. [People]
• Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to NFL player Hank Baskett. The wedding is slated for June 27 at, where else? The Playboy mansion. Initially she wanted ex-sugar daddy Hugh Hefner to give her away, but now Kendra is having second thoughts. [People]
• DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, is taking a page from fellow plane crash survivor Travis Barker and suing a bunch of people. "DJ AM is suing the estates of the two pilots who died in the crash as well as Clay Lacy Aviation, Global Exec Aviation, Inter Travel & Services Inc, Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co, and Learjet." He claims the pilots knew that the tires were shot and attempted to take off anyway. "Damn," says Michael K. of Dlisted. "I can understand suing companies and shit, but suing the estates of the pilots? I wonder if the pilots left behind any kids that need food, clothes and a roof over their heads. It seems a little extreme to try to fuck with the families, but I don't know the details and shit, so I will leave it at that." Word to that entire sentiment. [Dlisted]
• Marisa Tomei, 44, was conspicuously canoodling with Logan Marshall-Green, 32 (otherwise known as "Trey" from the O.C.) at the LA premiere of the Wrestler. You go Marisa! [Page Six]
• Apparently Suri Cruise gets 100 pieces of fan mail a day from all around the world. She is egregiously adorable. [Star]
• Slow gossip day, guys: Page Six reports that Bridget Moynahan uses the same dentist as her estranged baby daddy, Tom Brady. Riveting! [Page Six]
• Scar Jo's snot-filled Kleenex eventually went for $5,300 on eBay. Merry Christmas…sorta. [NYDN]
• Jennifer Hudson will perform a gospel song for her departed mom at the 2009 Grammys. [NYDN]
• Long dead drug kingpin Pablo Escobar loved Elvis, and even played his records when he was in the clink. Jailhouse rock indeed! [Page Six]
• Spencer Pratt keeps running his mouth about Heidi Montag's momma. "I just had visions of her mom trying to kill me in my sleep so I saw that as a possibility," he said at the Hills season finale party. Dear Momma Montag: we hope you have a Spencer-free Christmas and a happy New Year. [ASL]
• Ricky Martin: living la vida loca for 37 years as of today. [Dlisted]
• Though he's making a government salary now, from his Christmas shopping spree at Hermès, it's obvious that Arnold Schwarzenegger used to make the big movie star buckies. [ASL]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are in Aspen for Christmas, and Mariah says she always gets holiday-themed lingerie. “Honestly, I always get Santa lingerie. Even if nobody’s going to see it! I mean, why not? But this year I’m definitely excited because it’ll be appreciated!” Mimi says. Cant'…won't…make this lame joke…sigh. Ho ho ho, Mariah! There. I said it. [Just Jared]
• Poor Ben Stiller has to spend Christmas in a cast. He broke his hand snowboarding over the weekend. [E! Online]