Let's see, my younger sister is attractive, has a good-looking husband, successful marriage, great kids, very successful career, and no debt except her house note. Yep. In my family, she wins.

thank you for confirming my supiriority, jezebel...i am now going to drink away my 3 point lead in iq...

I've read this article before. It was called The Birth Order Book.

My sister is 2 years older than me.

Her accomplishments: Bachelor's in Family Science. Married accountant. 3 children. Stay at home mom. Makes really good quesadillas. Takes care of the bills, doctor appointments, and everything else the kids need.

My accomplishments: Bachelor's in Poli Sci. Law degree. Lots of debt. Several failed relationships. Two cats who are well taken care of most of the time. Job I like most of the time. Lots of debt from law school.

We got our IQs tested when we were kids. Mine was 5 points higher, I think. But then, I am the introspective one with a head in the book. I love theories, abstractions, and practical jokes (though not most other practical things). My sister loves the concrete, practical, useful things in life. Does not have an adult book in the house.

Perhaps that has more to do with her being Mormon than first born?

I'm #4 out of 5 and sometimes at Thanksgiving dinner my mom goes down the list of kids, then says the dog's name, and THEN says my name when she wants me to pass her the mashed potatoes.

It's still better than #5 kid -- one time one of us complimented a family photo and as the rest of us nodded our agreement, she was the one to point out she wasn't even in it.

As the oldest, I think a lot of us are self-conscious people-pleasers in a way that our younger siblings aren't. I'm sure they have their own list of things they're fucked up about, but I have always envied the relative ease with which I've seen my younger sibs shrug off other peoples' opinions. I've seen this in younger cousins too - the first one is kind of an uptight mess, the youngest is the little mayor of the world, loves everyone and everyone loves him.

A friend of mine pickd up her daughter at preschool one day, and asked if she got a lollipop that day for being good. Her daughter said very happily, "No, Mommy, I'm not good." I felt like she had figured something out at four that I'm still figuring out: fuck the lollipop.

I'm the oldest and a total slacker, and my younger sister is much cooler, smarter, and prettier than I am. I know this because I always hear from my mom just how perfect she is all the time.

However, she really is cool and sweet so it's impossible for me to hate her at all. She's one of my best friends.

@bloggadocio: My mom does that all the time.

@petuniacat: Oh, yeah. My I.Q. is higher. And I'm cooler. So, she still wins, but I feel better.

@RetroChristal: Mine, too! Except she doesn't get all the way through the name, so it'll just be this garbled, staccato mix of all kinds of vowel sounds. THEN she gets to me.

Third of four. My oldest sister is a doctor with the military. My older sister flunked out of med school (how, I have no idea; she's "the smart one"), but is dating a guy from summer camp who turned out to have a trust fund, and my youngest sister is uninterested in college, just got out of a really damaging relationship, and works two jobs. Sister #s 2 and 4 live together.

Me, I'm married, up to my eyeballs in debt, work a crappy job with crappy pay that has NOTHING to do with why I went to college, and am plotting my escape from Asheville in something like 2 years to go get my MLS. Whoo, more school loan debt!

I'm the first born, and I'm DEF not the most successful in my family. My youngest sister has a 4.5 GPA and wants to be a dentist. She's already visited several Ivies...she's a sophmore in high school. I barely made it through a state school. I have a higher IQ than she does, but she works her ass off and I sit around and get babied by my whole family. And she was the fatest baby of my whole fam! But, as the eldest, I do tend to be a mother figure to them. I'd give anything for them. Including my rent money, which hasn't been working out so good.

@badteaparty: You're so right! I've never even made that connection before. I take everything people say so personally!! And I have always been a ham and the center of attention. So, I'm not a bitch...I'm just the oldest sibling!

Why oh why do they always leave out the only children? Can we bust apart those stereotypes too?

I'm the firstborn, and the stereotypes definitely applied when me and my sis were younger. I was honor roll, AP classes, varsity dance team, solo in the musicals, fashion-conscious, NHS, top-tier university, never drank, never smoked, etc. My sister had fewer friends than I did, got in trouble with our parents all the time, ran away 4 times, dropped out of high school, had to retake algebra 4 times, had a part-time job at a comic book store for 2-3 years in lieu of any form of extracurricular, etc. I was a people-pleaser to the nth degree; my sister resented that my parents seemed to favor me and believed that she was constantly in my shadow.

Now, things have changed in the 6-7 years since high school. She is more fit than I am, has a long-term boyfriend, currently getting an MS at a top-ranked school in Boston, was accepted into a PhD program at a top school in Scotland, has like zero loans, and will probably earn more than me in her lifetime. I, on the other hand, have never been able to hold down a relationship for more than 11 months, consist on a diet of exclusively cheese and carbs, have put off applying to law school for a third year, spend most of my free time at karaoke bars, and most of the money I should be putting toward my 44,000 dollars' worth of loans into shopping for really useful things like leggings and and manicures instead.

I find it interesting there was no mention of culture or gender here.

My brother, who is 1.5 years younger than me, is FAR more successful than me - makes loads of money, travels a lot, hardly any student loan debt. Meanwhile, I'm on my third career and it won't be a cash cow. I'm WAY in debt and it will take me years to achieve the lifestyle he has now.

But then we're also from a overtly patriarchal culture. Now, my mom was AWESOME at teaching me that there isn't a thing I can't achieve just because I'm a girl, but I do think he got an extra push along the way. That or somehow our roles switched in terms of birth order - I'm the hippie dippie one who, while responsible, wants to save the world. He's irresponsible but levelheaded about ruling the world.

Anyway, this birth order stuff is kind of useless. I've learned, since progressing past Psych 101 in my psychology studies, that you can't apply these dumb rules to everyone. You have to consider culture, income, reversed roles in the family origins, etc. The perils of pop psychology.

dumb rules indeed. just from reading these comments, birth order seems to be a purely random factor in determining "success". I would also argue that different people define success in different terms. And that definition can change for the same person over time. Let's do get rid of the stereotypes.

and yes, my siblings and I fail to fit into any of the alleged behaviors based on our birth order. Basically, it's a crap shoot, for us anyway.

OK, once again, for the benefit of the WSJ: a three-point IQ difference is NOT enough to make the difference between a CEO and a non-CEO.

It would be interesting to hear more, though, about relative happiness. My older brother definitely took on that leader role among our four other siblings, and is now incredibly successful by all conventional standards: high-powered job, two houses, more money than he knows what to do with. He's also about the most miserable son of a bitch I know, and I know a few. And he definitely begrudges some of us younger, slackier folks our freedom.

Are first-borns more successful? Well I sure as fuck hope so! If my anxiety has any say in it, no fuckin' way boyee. But that's a result of my environment and past family mental health issues, not my birth rank. Reality is def random.

Birth order does seem to be completely random in determining success. We don't pay any attention to it unless we coincidentally fit the stereotypes and so we assume it must be accurate. But I have to say that as the first born in my family and the first born cousin on my mom's side, I definitely relate to badteaparty re: being super aware of other people's opinions of me, determined to please & succeed and being perceived as the uptight one among extended family members. That was mostly during my childhood; I've chilled out since middle school.

In my family, my mom's family and my dad's family it seems to be that way.

There is a really good book on the subject called the "Pecking Order" by Dalton Conley a professor at NYU. He argues that it isn't just birth order that matters in the treatment of siblings by their parents but other things like gender, sexual orientation etc. The parents pick the kid that seems most likely to succeed and invest time and money into that one at the expense of the others. It was eye opening for me since I got into an ivy league college but my parents sent me off to el cheapo state u for my BA and my younger brother got sent to a $30,000 a year middling engineering school (the best that he got into) that had a crappier program in his field than good ol' state U. Why did this happen? My brother was more interested in math and science than me (and is a boy) so they decided he was a better investment than me. Salary wise he is making more than me currently since I'm in a graduate program, but he has trouble getting jobs since my parents didn't try to make him find a job till he was done with college and I've been working since I was 16.

My younger sister owns a condo where I currently rent my bedroom. hahaha. She has an excellent steady job and I'm filing bankruptcy and only land crappy jobs due to very little ambition. However, I think I do have a higher IQ. Fat lot of good it does me.

Oh and she's prettier, taller, skinnier, but possibly more emotionally and psychologically damaged than me, if that is possible. We're quite the fucking pair, obviously.

@rocknrollunicorn: Btw, I would like to mention my half-assed theory re: the more successful younger sibling: she saw me succeeding in school and always felt she had to work her ass off to compare. Then I was like, oh you know what? I like arty things. I'll major in something dumb. And she was all, oooh, accounting, I'll make money.

Bitch owes me her success!

@badteaparty: Haha! You are completely right about that. I'm the same way.

I wonder if that's from the pressure of having to constantly set the "example" for the younger sibling, or from having to be really good to compete for attention with the cute new baby? Or maybe because (at least in my family) anything bad the younger one did was written off as "She's young and doesn't know better" (no matter what age she was at), while I was more under the microscope because I was "Older and should know better" (again, no matter what age I was at).

these studies have always fascinated me because both my little brother and i are adopted (we're not biologically related). we don't know if our biological families included other siblings, let alone birth order.

@ebabydoll: Well I think it's more about the way children are socialized according to birth order. So you'd be the eldest while your bro would be the youngest.

I was a big ol' baby, too. 9 lbs. 3 oz. In the hospital pics it looks like my mom's holding a 6 month old.

These types of studies always confuse me. What's the measure of success? Money? Then my (older) sister wins. Education? Then I win. Brains? We're both damn smart. Happiness? Then we both win - I may slightly edge her out at the moment as she's currently in a job she doesn't particularly like, but I'm in the middle of the anxiety of looking for a post-doc, so lets call it a draw (we both have lots of friends, fun, love where we live, etc..).
She always was the goody-two-shoes out of us though.

Reading over these comments, I'm so glad I don't have a sister -- no one to directly compete with.

I do have two brothers, but my older brother is so profoundly different from me that it would be unfair to compare us.

What happened in my family?
My older sister: overweight, weird marriage, job she hates, and totally self absorbed yet totally content.
Me: graduate school, successful hot hubby, career I love, and completely insecure people pleaser.

I truly think this is all relative. I'm a middle child. My oldest sister is a driven, Ph.D. candidate but is happy. I could have cared less about school (even though I aced it), live an unconventional, but responsible life and am happy. My youngest sister who was spoiled to death and always got her way, does not seem very happy. Yet and still, we would never trade places with each other. Secretly, I think we all think we got the better deal. I think there are too many variables (income, parenting, gender, race, etc.) to generalize. Instead of birth order, I think it is more about how our parents dealt with us as individuals.

First borns represent! I think this holds some weight, but only when the parents are too lazy to pay attention to all of their children.

sat scores:

MOE - 1450

MOE's Much cooler younger bro - 1460

MOE's weird littler sister - 1470

i think that's all the science we need to prove those idiot norwegians wrong.

In my family exactly the opposite is true. My brother, the oldest, is the least successful with an awful job and a boatload of debt. My sister, the second oldest, completed some college but then got knocked up and married. My brother, the third oldest, got a certificate in welding and a well paying job. Lastly, I am the youngest and have completed more college than any of my siblings and plan to attend a university.

My first year of law school, my property professor asked everyone in my 120-person class to raise their hands if they were first or only children. At least 75% of us did. He didn't contend that we were smarter, but rather that we were more socially conservative than our siblings, and therefore more inclined towards "safe" careers in things like the law or accountancy, with skills that would always be in demand and always net a reasonable salary.

Okay! Sucks how when you want to sleep in, you can't. Anyway.

I have a PhD, hot husband, a job people would kill for, AND YET.

My younger brother, who is lovely but a college dropout, makes scads more money than I do. Which evidently gives him creedence to LECTURE me about my many failures in life. It appears that I have married poorly, have neglected to buy a home (my rent is scandalously low in intown Atlanta), and I am insufficiently motivated in my job. Oh yes. And I drink too much.

Were I a second child, I would probably tell him to fuck off and be done with it.

hmmm, i have a more successful older sister and a more successful younger brother. sucks to be me. what does that prove?

I think that a good deal of the fame gap from a few of those pairs also comes from two things:
1. Who got out their first? The elder. That gave them both more time to get famous, and they were something new so people wanted to see.
2. Those siblings who tried to ride the coat-tails of the elder sibling of course haven't done as well, they initially promoted themselves (to different levels) as "hey I'm XX's younger sib, so look at me! I'm famous because he's famous!" .... so then you see the younger as just a younger version of the older. You've already got one, why would you want a second?

That being said, I actually wasn't sure if the Wilsons were related. The nose kinda gave it away, but no one talks about their sib status and I assumed maybe it was just a happy Hepburn-like coincidence. They've each made their own career, and I think they're both doing just fine for themselves.

@rocknrollunicorn: Michelle? Emily?!
[gawker.com]

I am the fifth of seven children, and probably the most successful (or at least the most hardworking and ambitious) - my only competition for that role is my older med-school bound brother. He's my elder by 18 months. We easily have the highest IQs AND have been the most driven to succeed and take risks. So what about the fourth and fifth born children?

I think the birth order thing is either bullshit or applies only to small WASP families.

Cool topic! Ranks fairly high on the 'Things to Worry Uselessly About' list, sorta like astrology I guess.

Ultimately, it's all individual choices I think. Be who you want to Be.. Live like you want to live. Comparisons are really kind of silly, ya think?

I'm 2nd of 4; Boy/girl/boy/girl raised by fairly intelligent parents in Suburbia, CA during those Troubling Turbulent Times, the 60's.
And the only one who's actually left that lifestyle.

Cashwise, carwise, housewise & accoutermentwise I'm waaaay behind the other 3 sibs...

Yet I'm the only one of four who owns their own property, has raised a cool kid to adulthood, and seems relatively unstressed about Life in general.

Go figure: I haven't understood their choices yet!

i'm the oldest one, and i'm the gay one. the unmarried one. the childless one. so glad i don't live in tx anymore, 'cause not weird in ny

I agree that I am smarter and more talented than my younger brother, but he is way more successful than me in things like career, money, prestige. I am an abject failure compared to him. Bwah!

@Archetype: No, of course we can't, because we're all selfish spoiled brats who don't give a crap about anyone else. Ugh. People literally shudder in fear when they find out I'm an only, as if I'm going to throw a fit at any moment. Little do they know that, while I don't have human siblings, I do have canine ones. I swear my parents spoil our dogs more than they ever spoiled me.

I don't really worry about birth order with me and my sister, as we're far enough apart that I think the attention/benefits thing is all evened out (plus my parents had a lot more money while she was at home than when I was). But I do see birth order issues with other people.
I know a family of two boys. The older one is super responsible, graduate of law school, got his BA in only 7 semesters, great grades, serial monogamist, completely friendly and pleasant at all times (and athletic and hot, but that's an aside).
The younger one dropped out of high school to smoke pot, got his GED almost three years later, only talks vaguely about maybe going to a community college, not so good with the faithfulness-in-relationships thing, and also let his body go to hell worse than anyone I know from high school and college; I think he gained like 50 pounds in two years. Their parents' favoritism was always apparent, even before the boys went their drastically divergent ways.

I'm really late to this post.

I would have to say I'm more successful then my older brother. I have two BAs and am completing my Masters. He finished high school, and even with my parents offering to completely pay for college (I didn't get this offer) and being a near computer genius, he is still degreeless. I have a more steady job and a happy marriage, he works way too many hour for what he is paid and just dumped his loser fiance.

Still my parent coddle and praise him like crazy, as if he were more successful. Maybe because he is the first born, maybe because he is a boy, either way it drives me insane.

I am the 12th of 13 siblings, you have NO idea how depressed these articles make me. My 8 older sisters love them though.