Jezebel
Heather Mills' eccentric publicist Michele Elyzabeth has started a video blog on which she posts weekly video rants — with the help of her lapdog Bijou and gay hairdresser David — attacking every tabloid, talk show, newspaper, web site, person, insect, mineral, what-have-you that says something negative about Heather. (You might remember Elyzabeth from her interview on Extra last year—a favorite of The Soup—when she expressed how appalling and unbelievable it was that Mills drove a PT Cruiser, considering how wealthy her husband is.) Anyway, the "vlog" is the best thing to happen in public relations in the history of the world. Really: It's like watching a Christopher Guest movie. Above is a clip of the first installment (the original is 20 minutes long) and first up for attack are the ladies of The View. Then she begins a rant about Perez Hilton, during which, her dog starts appropriately licking its crotch.
I love how even the dog seems to be questioning this strategy to get the public on Heather Mills' side.
Comments
So, why does her accent sound exactly the same as the absurdly fake French accents people make up when they're drunk on wine?
Re: all this Heather Mills bashing: You know how back in the sixties everyone used to hate Yoko? The press was mercilous, Beatles fans were cruel, etc. etc.? And now Yoko is internationally beloved, a dance-club diva, a feminist icon considered ahead of her time?
Yeah, well ... well ... okay, that's probably not going to happen to Heather Mills.
Unless it does.
OMG THE PT CRUISER LADY.
P.S. Joel McHale, have my babies pls.
As far as getting the public on Heather's side, this woman hasn't got a leg to stand on.
@JessicaLovejoy: YES! She drives a PT crusier. A PT cruiser!!!
The PT Cruisahhh Lady! My 9-year-old does a great impression of her!
@SinisterRouge: Whenever I see a PT Cruiser stopped at a red light I expect a pack of about 20 clowns are about to squeeze out of it. It's a total clown car.
@JessicaLovejoy: I've got dibs on Joel McHale. Love the snarky guys.
I think that John Fitzgerald Page should hire her. He could use some good publicity right now..
@Sayser: No, there are only one or two clowns in the car and they're usually wearing a Hawaiian shirt and listening to Jimmy Buffett.
@polythenepam:
i see we may have to rumble.
i heart the McHale.
Don't you DARE cross Joy Behar, biyatch!
Also, who the fuck really has a globe on their tchochtke shelf. Really!
PS - I want a David on my tchochtke shelf.
Wouldn't Joel McHale be the official Imaginary Snarky Boyfriend of all Jezebel commenters?
@OnionRings: For damn sure. I love him.
@OnionRings: oh yesssssss...
@lfw1031: What do yooooou think, David? Oh my god, I want a David, too! None of my main gays are cartoonish, goddamnit.
In all seriousness: every single self-respecting French bourgeois household in the universe has a globe on their tchochtke shelf.
@OnionRings: esp now my imaginary boyfriend has said we should see other people.
@ginger rant: There is a big difference between the two situations.
@rosehobart: about the globe...um, nevermind.
@rosehobart: about David...totally. I think it's the jeans. What the hell are those things?
I want her and the "leave britney alone!" guy to get together.
@OnionRings: I think so! I would totally marry Joel if both of us weren't already married.
My husband and I talk about the PT CRUISER lady all the time!!! "Married to Paul McCartney and all she gets is a PT Cruiser?! I mean, come on!"
Also, for those of you that love McHale, I met him in person and he was super nice. I was worried that he would be a dick and then it would be harder to like him. But, rest assured, he was great. Very friendly and funny.
If there were plastic coverings on the furniture it'd be my aunt's house. Yes, including a David.
I always that that I-Lean Not Linda should have been happy to have a car and shut up.
PT Cruiser...eveytime I hear this it reminds of this comedy bit.
[www.youtube.com]
Home girl gots a hatcback.
@FloraWay: True: For one, Paul dumped Heather in the end; John never dumped Yoko. But you'll agree that there are similarities between the situations, yes?
@ginger rant: I swear I'm not being ugly, but since when is Yoko "internationally beloved, a dance-club diva, a feminist icon considered ahead of her time"?
Did you really need to point out that the hairdresser was gay? I think not...
@OnionRings: Mmm, seriously. He's really cute.
We love the PT Cwoozah lady. Love!
And Tivo Alert, Joel McHale is the dead guy on Pushing Daisies tonight.
OH, how did I completely miss this phenomenon. From now on, every time I see one, I am going to say, "A Peh Teh CROO-zair! A Peh Teh Croo-ZAAAIR!!"
Thank god I don't have any friends cos they'd probably get sick of that real quick.
@iamtrex: Your assignment, should you decide to accept it, it to start watching The Soup this weekend and never miss a week again.
@BAngieB: Yoko ON does not Tip. Fact!
@missdona: Here is the tragic truth.
I disconnected my cable during the re-inauguration of Pres. Bush. It was like, "Take that you stupid box! Shut the fuck up!"
And I can honestly say I only regret it for about five or six hours a year.
That Joel guy is waaaaay cute tho'.
I think that Michele Elyzabeth is right about Perez Hilton because, honestly, whenever anyone says anything negative about him I agree. However, she and this hairdresser guy should just stop wasting their time. Heather Mills made the choice to enter the public eye and sometimes people say bad things about you. Grow up. Ignore it or get over it.
And NO ONE disses my Joy and gets away with it---even someone with an incredibly adorable dog.
I just looove it when a gay hairdresser finds his perfect ersatz domineering mother figure (with a bonus fluffy white poodle-like accessory)... Right now, everything seems right with the world...
Heather Mills made the choice to enter the public eye
...and melt down like Mariah Carey.
I dunno. I kind of made my mind up about her when she took off her artificial leg and handed it to Larry King.
I thought, "She can't be British. This is not going to end well."
@ginger rant: That would be interesting. I also am curious as to how Disability historians and advocates will dissect this debacle in say 50 years from now, in particular, how Heather's Disability became acceptable fodder for mockery during the post-hyper-PC-'90s era.
Heather Mills is insane! She hired that the "PT Cwuza Lady" as her publicist. In case you aren't familiar with this hotness The Soup made her famous last year by featuring a clip of her going on and on about Heather Mills' PT Cruiser. Well, she's back!
@BAngieB: Since ... well, just trust me: she is (dammit).
Can we embed YouTube video into these comments? If this works, this video of Joel meeting the PT Cruisahh Lady.
Aaack. It didn't work. Here's the link: [www.youtube.com]
Is she drunk? Seriously.
A cheese grater on my testicles would not be as painful as listening to these two.
Even a PT is to good for that ugly bitch Heather, that gold digging hideous bitch.
OMG, as a flack, I don't know whether to be embarrassed or happy that I wont ever have to compete with her. Mizjel, by doing a podcast on "every bad thing they say about Ether" you are only raising the vizibility of the storeez.
This has SNL skit written all over it.
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