"Gee, Mom! They look just like my regular panties!"
Give me an effing break. And which snap do you adjust first? Are you there God? It's me, Margaret!

I saw this in 1970 with the rest of the fifth grade girls at Blue Bell Elementary in Blue Bell, PA. It was not wonderful being a girl that day, as this is how we learned that we were in for forty years of bleeding, belts, and bloat. It was, however, an unusual and innovative marketing strategy: instilling dread to facilitate brand awareness.

That girl could pretty easily be 12 or 13, which was about the age most girls I knew started bleeding. But, good god, that belted contraption looks like a nightmare. And the pad the size of Montana doesn't help any, either. They said "panties" way too many times, though. I never liked that word.

I remember reading Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret and being like, "There are BELTS required for this process?? Oh, fuck no!" They could have sold me that menstruation-free pill in a SECOND.

OK, I'm sorry. How the F does that little girl know what polyethylene is?

Second, good call re: the cadence. It's like Eleanor Roosevelt's pseudo-aristocratic accent, with some Jersey thrown in for good measure.

Third, did anyone else notice how perky Mom's boobs were? Especially by the end. It was like Madonna was a girl watching this video and got her inspiration from Libby's mom in this video.

Forth, you KNOW some Madison Avenue meathead dudes came up with this commercial. Acourse, I don't think women had the vote yet, right?

Nightmarish, huh? I've always said that the Tampax tampon should be in MOMA's collection of great objects of design. What a life-changing invention.

As for the dreaded sanitary belts, I'm waiting for the day they show up in Williamsburg/LOS vintage stores as the latest retro accessory.

TAMPONS. god's greatest invention. (sorry ladies, i just saw knocked up and i don't care what the fancy doctors say, i needs ma monthly flow. if only for my MENTAL health.)

I want to see the next scene. The one where she comes home from the pool and tries to fit the maxi mattress box into that tiny drawer.

That's the film I saw in fourth grade. My niece is finishing fourth grade this year and the version they saw is called "I Got It!"

@ribmyhrod: I used to have a bra, inherited from my grandmother, that made my boobs perky like that. It was the style at the time. I would wear it with the silly cocktail dresses I also inherited from Grandma, since the darts were placed somewhere near my clavicle.
As for polyethylene, it was supposed to be a miracle material, better living through chemistry and all, back in the 50's. I would imagine she'd heard a lot about this amazing polyethylene stuff growing up. All of this is total speculation, btw.

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