The hell!?!? It's her ripping off concepts from her own damn show that were ridiculous in the first place, although it did teach us that "Cha Cha Diva" is a part of one's personality.

Um, I don't know what you guys look like when you're going down on a guy, but that doesn't look at all like I do.

Jane Birkin wants her hair back.

I'd like to meet whoever came up with those title copy words. And slap them.

These subway posters are HORRIBLE. The color is so off on her skin tones, she looks half dead.

@ccchild: yeah, she needs to work on her technique. she needs to wrap her upper lip around her teeth.

Hmm, when ads sexually objectify women you get upset; but then when they don't really objectify women--when it's just Tyra making a cheesy ass of herself--you objectify the ad. What gives?

Miley Cyrus wants her eye-bulging ham-bone act back.

@slut machine: And open about twice as wide if she wishes to be my friend.

TyraMale!

Is she smiling with her eyes?

@WhiskeyAGoGo: ha! that was my first thought.

@atipofthehat: On behalf of Jane Birkin's hair, I resent that com(ment)parison!

She is absolutely smiling with her eyes in that third shot. In the fourth she's swallowing with her eyes.

While I'm glad the woman finally hired a good stylist, wouldn't these ads have been SO much more hilarious with the Tyra of cycles 3-7?? That crazy red hair? Really complicated outfits sometimes involving chains or feathers?

She did teach the little models-to-be last night to look into the camera like you are looking at your boyfriend.

@Steverino: So I was going to jump in here with a Susan Sontag-inspired defense that all photography turns all people into objects that can be symbolically possessed, and Slut Machine was simply trying to highlight this fact with her subversive narrative--but really, all I can say is 1. well played, Steverino, and 2. Slut Machine: this was total had-to-run-to-the-bathroom-so-I-wouldn't-wet-myself funny. More, please!

(As Sontag also said, only that which narrates can make us understand...)

On 6th Ave, one of them has "I have cottage cheese thighs" written on it, only someone spelled thighs wrong.

@DOTDL: Pictures also steal your soul.

She would have ripped the faces off any of her ANTM girls who failed to "work it" as spectacularly as she is failing to "work it" on that poster.

"Too hoochie!" "Too catalogue!" "Too prom queen!"

She's trying to goddamn hard. She's the opposite of cool.

@loldrunk: @mightymouth: I am so going to be late for work. My name is Philthyist and I am a Jezeholic.
okay- now to the point. that was hilarious- and so true- she is always fucking telling those models to smile with their eyes. stfu ty-ty, you are dead in the eyes.
ah, my morning tyra haterade.

Slut Machine, you're a riot. "Hey girl, I'm so relatable!"

Excellent breakdown, I can't stand her!

@loldrunk: "swallowing with her eyes" - HA HA HA! That was awesome.

God I hate these ads... they follow me everywhere!

"Get over here and lemme suck ya dick" just became my new pickup line.

She totally ganked her own Top Model photo-shoot. However, I think the judges would have to call Tyra out. Ty-ty, what exactly is the difference between a "Conversationista" and a "Gabologist?"

Thank you. I hate these fucking ads and for some reason it really drives me crazy that I can't even understand what they say, probably cuz they are made up words...but still, just shut the fuck up please. I love Top Model, but her talk show is just too much some times. Know your place Tyra!

that is hilarious

@LawBoi: A difference raised eyebrow for emphasis?

Different, oh I hate Tyra!

Why are her eyes pointing in different directions in the mouth-open pic? She can't believe the size of what she's seeing?

@slut machine: Only prudes cover their teeth. Good head-givers use teeth. Real men enjoy said teeth. >:D

From THE HATER — Fact: The Writers Strike is slowly breaking down society. Fiction: Without writers there is no TV. After the jump, see which show don’t use writers for anything, including their advertisements!

omfg...finally! a step by step guide of perhaps...what i should look like during oral!?

I don't understand the hate on Tyra.