Sometimes we accuse the market of being out of touch with reality, but today, it rallied for a very real reason, which is obviously because the bridge collapse in Minneapolis has turned taxpayer attention to the 70,000 bridges out there with structural problems only private contractors can fix because duh big intrusive nanny state government=evil and corporations are virtuous engines of the economy.

• Which is why insurance companies shouldn't have to pay for Katrina damages.
  
• Big Banana was the CIA's biggest fan back in the day but now they're funding the terrorists like everyone else.
  
• Speaking of the terrorists they're also dictating Gwen Stefani's wardrobe
  
• And infiltrating our musicals?

• Investing in stuff that only rich people buy sounds like a bulletproof investment strategy...
• Hahahahahahahahaha that's more like it.
• That $54 million crazypants drycleaner plaintiff remains employed despite his "behavior outside the courtoom."
• And Karl Rove remains employed in law despite not showing up to the courtroom.