"Men and women — women want all the rights of men, but they're not asking to be called men… do you think… is it the word [marriage] is more important than the rights?" Portia, who is married to Ellen DeGeneres, was measured, confident, calm and clear in her answer: "Of course it's not the word." (I would have added, "Dumbass.") Portia went on to say, "Without the word, we don't have equal rights." Then she explained that a "lesser" term would imply that gay couples are lesser. Applause.

• Remember when Nicole Richie was on The Simple Life? She's planning on returning to primetime TV — this time in a scripted comedy.

Nicole is producing and starring as "a professional woman with complicated family relationships" who is "struggling to figure out what role she'll take as her life and her family evolve." She came up with the idea for the show, and Daisy Gardner (Californication) will be writing the half-hour sitcom for ABC. There's no title yet, so maybe we can brainstorm one? Is Family Puts The Fun In Dysfunctional too long?!?! [Variety]

• Jennifer Aniston really loves her yoga instructor, Mandy Ingber. Jen has filmed a personal introduction for Mandy's new DVD, in which she declares, "Mandy brought yoga into my life. This workout will change your body and your mind." Jen works out with Mandy up to five times a week, and even takes her on vacation with her. What have you done for your yoga instructor lately? [Page Six]
• Jake Gyllenhaal's assistant was seeing taking luggage from Reese Witherspoon's house to Jake's house. Are they broken up? Does he have sleepover bags? Is he going on a trip? What does it mean?!?!?! [MSNBC]
• Breaking: Amy Winehouse was sober at her father's birthday party. [The Sun]
• BREAKING! Lindsay Lohan was also spotted sober, while out at a night club. End times? [Page Six]
• "Sources" say the news about Tiger Woods is not surprising: "He's a pro athlete. He's been in a lot of situations with women that would not look good… Most athletes of his stature fall under the same category, it doesn't mean he doesn't love his family." Apparently Tiger was often seen "in the company of women in public places" and "whether he crossed lines - that's not something anyone talks about openly, but I can tell you there are times things look that way." As always: grain of salt. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Roman Polanski will not be released on bail before Friday, according to Swiss authorities. [AFP]
• Ever the nonconformist, Cate Blanchett spent Cyber Monday shopping the streets of Manhattan. [Gatecrasher]
• In LA, George Clooney walked the red carpet at the premiere of his film Up In The Air with his girlfriend, Elisabetta Canalis, and his mom, Nina. [Daily Mail]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck has been sued AGAIN over her book, The G Free Diet, by the same woman who sued her the first time. Susan Hassett claims Hasselbeck's book is a rip-off of her own work, Living with Celiac Disease. [TMZ]
• Emma Watson: Spotted vacationing in Jamaica with Brit cutie Jay Barrymore, mere days after she attended a hockey game with Spanish rocker Rafael Cebrian. Hermione plays the field! [Page Six]
• Charlize Theron will be the host of a 90-minute live show promoting — and drawing players for — next year's football Wold Cup in South Africa. Only two hundred million people in 200 countries will be watching. No pressure. [Reuters]
• Rihanna was incredibly upset when a man punched Leona Lewis in the face at an event a few weeks ago. I got so mad, like it was me. I couldn't believe it happened to her, of all people," Rihanna says. "It's so disappointing when people behave like that. Why? She's so sweet. She is just a beautiful, beautiful spirit. You don't want any bad things to happen to her." [Daily Express]
• Boys kissing boys and boys in boys' crotches are very much a no-no! ABC is trying to find a way to avoid a repeat of a performance like Adam Lambert's at the American Music Awards: "We certainly don't want to suppress artistry at any level, but we also have to be cognizant of who our audience is," Anne Sweeney, president of Disney/ABC Television Group, says. [NY Post]
• Richard Gere is being called a "tree-killer." [Page Six]
• Sherri Shepherd bribes her son with White Castle. [Gatecrasher]
• In a very graphic video at the link, bounce's from Jay-Z's 40/40 Club in Atlantic City punch and beat two "ejected patrons." The bouncers may face criminal charges. [NY Daily News]
• The gorgeous and talented exiled Iranian actress Shohreh Aghdashloo — whom you may have seen in House Of Sand And Fog — is maybe about to ink a deal for her memoir. And this column claims she is the "dark-horse Oscar contender" for her performance in The Stoning of Soraya M, a film we have been keeping tabs on. [Page Six]
• The next Harry Potter movie will mostly take place away from Hogwarts, and Rupert Grint says: "Harry, Ron and Hermione are just camping out in random places, living rough, in regular clothes… Me and Dan actually have some stubble." [USA Today]
• Check out this picture of the very limber Jaden Smith, son of Will, who is currently filming the Karate Kid remake, Kung-Fu Kid. [The Life Files]
• Roger Avary, who won a screenwriting Oscar for Pulp Fiction, sent tweets from jail, and now is under higher security; he had been on a work furlough program but is now back in routine confinement. [NY Daily News]
• Russell Brand met Katy Perry's religious parents! Katy's dad gave Rusty a book about God's intervention, Russell gave Katy's dad My Booky Wook, in which Russell details his former life of drugs and hookers. Everyone is okay with everything and all four of them are on vacation in Austria. [The Sun]
• Congrats to Susan Boyle, who could have the number one album in the US and the UK and whose disc has the biggest opening sales of the year. [NY Daily News]
• Gary Busey has been named the unsexiest man in Hollywood. [Daily Express]
• "Liam Gallagher Brands Noel The 'Kevin Keegan Of Rock." [Independent]
• "Michael Jackson" was the most-searched term on Yahoo this year. [AP]
• ''I would have done nothing differently. I think it worked out really well.
  ''I am really happy with what I am doing now — happy in my personal life and happy with my professional life. 'I apologized for the thing I did wrong to the person I did it wrong to." — Russell Brand, regarding the prank calls he and Jonathan Ross made to Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs in October 2008. [Telegraph]
• "[My father] was scary and violent. He beat the living hell out of me, and there was constant verbal abuse. Looking back on it, he probably was disappointed that I was so drawn to the arts. He probably thought I was gay. I wasn't interested in sports. I didn't know the names of any baseball players. I liked films and books and records." — Tom Petty. [Advocate via Rolling Stone]
• "The only thing that came into my mind was a decade ago, when I hit 50, I was onstage in Philadelphia, and you realize, 'OK, this is exactly where I want to be right now. I wouldn't want to be any place else.' You realize there is a finiteness to it. We're playing to an audience now that will outlive us. There will be a seed of an audience out there tonight that's just going to outlive the band. But at the same time, the band is very, very powerful right now. And part of the reason it's powerful is that it's carrying a lot of very strong cumulative history. You come and you see 35 years of a speeding train going down the track and you're going to get to be on the front end of it. We look forward to many, many more years of touring and playing and enjoying it." — Bruce Springsteen. Much more in an extensive interview at the link. [Reuters]
• "I mean, it's fine if that's what they want to focus on. It's a movie that I think is beautiful and was a joy to make. But I can only make it. If people want to make that the thing they want to talk about, it's distressing, but that's their business." — Willem Dafoe wish you would stop focusing on his mutilated genitalia in Antichrist. [New York]
• "I don't have any interest in acting anymore. Movies are a part of my past. It's been 30 years. I'm not young, but I have time to do something else. I consider my entire movie career a complete failure. The goal of movie-making is to star in a film where your performance drives the film, and the film is either a soaring critical or commercial success, and I never had that." — Say it ain't so, Alec Baldwin! [MSNBC Scoop via Men's Journal]
• "I hate that. He has such a big mouth. It drives me crazy, and it makes me want to thump him in the side of his head… It's not accurate." — Kimora Lee Simmons, when asked if it's true that Russell Simmons gives her $40,000 a month in child support. [Page Six]

And yesterday, while in a heated discussion over the Attorney General's decision to hold 9/11 terrorism trials in downtown Manhattan, Joy mentioned that Elisabeth told her in the makeup room that she was planning on moving out of New York. Elisabeth got pissed about the "personal" information disclosure.

Kenneth Clark's famous study was dispiriting: almost every child preferred the white doll. In
2006, filmmaker Kiri Davis re-created the experiment, and 15 of her 21 young subjects chose the Caucasian baby doll. While, as we all know, children "have to be carefully taught," this is clearly ingrained early - and dies hard. On the View yesterday, Elisabeth Hasselbeck remarked on the looks her daughter got when she carried a Tiana doll from The Princess and the Frog on the street (although I personally might have been looking at the celebrity, but that's just me. And she says she was wearing a hat.)

Yet, what makes the whole thing even more depressing is that on the surface, there have never been so many doll "choices": a piece in today's Wall Street Journal points to the trend in doll-girl matching and, amongst toy companies, "an intensifying concern with matching the characteristics of the figurine with those of its owner."

There are, of course, several different issues at play here. On the one hand, we've got standards of beauty - kids need to see more varietals than Barbie, and know that all kinds of appearance and coloring are equally valid - that one is not always the heroine while the others are the chorus, the satellite, the token friend. In a word, we need diversity of dolls to become commonplace, taken for granted.

And then there are the different forms of play: some children like to "parent" their dolls; just yesterday I saw a little girl assiduously mothering her baby doll while her mother tended to a real-life infant sibling. In these cases, you don't need a shrink to tell you that the play is helpful for transitioning, for working out issues, and for learning positive behaviors. And you don't need to be a sociologist to know that for a little kid, your baby most often looks like you. (Although Brangelina may be putting paid to this notion for any child whose mother has a Star subscription.)

Of course, for most kids, it's not about that particularly. Like Hasselbeck's daughter, most young children just want dolls as friends or characters. As the Journal put it,

More commonly, children have enjoyed dolls not for narcissistic satisfaction but for their imaginative potential as hand-held adventurers that can be moved about and made to talk or fly. A corncob doll works as well for those purposes as a custom-made mini-me.

Which is what makes the whole "model-of-myself" trend kind of strange. There is a difference between wanting to see a wide spectrum of dolls, to know that you're represented as a valid human being, to own a toy you identify with (hopefully unthinkingly) and needing your doll to be a replica of you, the child. One is all about imagination; the other is about the opposite.

For children who wish to see their own faces reflected back at them, the toy industry has never before strained so assiduously to please. American Girl, the Mattel-owned company that sells 18-inch dolls with realistic hair and moveable limbs (including a line of historical dolls), offers an array of mannequins that can be configured with Godlike genetic specificity: For $95 to $109, parents can purchase a playmate that mirrors their daughter's hair (blond, red, auburn, caramel, brown, dark brown, brown-black or black-brown), eyes (blue, hazel, green or brown), skin (light, medium or dark), and even attributes such as freckles, bangs, curls and pierced ears.

While they may be contemporaneous phenomena, companies producing a wide range of ethnicities and features, being able to find a doll with glasses or one with a wheelchair, seems to me a very different thing from the mini-idols that every company from Madame Alexander to Bratz is now producing. I feel like the two get conflated, but they're different. I remarked on this phenomenon when Strawberry Shortcake got her infamous makeover: why, I wondered then, do toy companies think a child can't relate to a doll who isn't exactly like herself? I speak purely as a passionate doll-lover, but it seems to me a real lack of understanding of the toy's appeal. Would I have wanted such a thing? Well, for one thing, I never saw a sallow Blythe doll with matted hair (the only approximation that would have come close), but I don't think so. Sure, it would be fun to see yourself mirrored on Christmas morning, and I imagine there's a satisfaction to acquiring each accessory, making the doll's hobbies and wardrobe mirror one's own, but doesn't that get old, fast? That's not a doll that looks like you in the general sense; it's a model of you.

Do Our Dolls Have To Look Like Us? [Wall Street Journal]
Kiri Davis: A Girl Like Me [YouTube]

• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

While I think that Perez Hilton—who has repeatedly called Prejean a bitch, among other nasty things—has been out of line, I don't believe the same is true for Whoopi. Whoopi referred to Prejean's hostile and defensive demeanor and attitude as "bitchy" during an interpersonal exchange. There's a big difference between calling someone a name, and describing someone's behavior. The former is an insult and the latter is an inference.

Elisabeth didn't seem to grasp that, and accused "the liberals" of "hating" Prejean "for no reason." You can be sure that Joy checked her on that.

Whoopi and Sherri bring up a good point when asking Carrie if she was a Christian when she made her sex tape, and trying to explain to her how people could see hypocrisy in preaching about how others should live according to her Christian values, and then not complying with them herself. This point, however, was lost on her: she simply focused on how mean Perez Hilton was to her.


Later in the interview, Carrie became flustered and even more defensive when Barbara asked her about a portion of her book that claims that describes Donald Trump's behavior—which she intimates was inappropriate—around the women in the pageant.

Feeling an inevitable attack from Joy Behar's progressive lips coming on, Elisabeth backpedaled a bit, saying the decision is "never an easy one, mark my words."

Joy did have something to say - it just wasn't what Elisabeth was expecting.

For some people, believe it or not, Elisabeth, it is a very easy decision. I know that's hard to understand, but there are people who do not think anything of it.

Speaking from personal experience, that's true. At the same time, just because someone doesn't get all precious about terminating a pregnancy doesn't mean that she did it for "superficial reasons". Or that she should be forced to look at pictures of, well, anything.

The interview in Ladies Home Journal's October issue, which will be out on September 8, gives a little more insight into the hosts' relationships behind the scenes, but the tone is similar to when they come back from commercial after a huge fight and maddeningly insist that they all love each other. In fact, Elisabeth Hasselbeck says of their bickering:

It's like when I have a more edgy conversation with my mother — I know she'll love me anyway. And that's what happens at our table: We know what triggers the other person, but we also believe what we believe. It's all up for discussion, and we know we're all coming back tomorrow. So we love each other even though we don't always agree.

At first, when asked what their friendships are like back stage Whoopi Goldberg jokes, "We all hate each other," (or she just wants us to think she's joking.) But, she says it isn't her fault that people think they're feuding:

That idea was put into people's minds before I arrived — that was played up with Rosie, and it stuck. I think for a while things got more personal than they should have and people glommed on to that. I think people want there to be feuds. But I am too lazy to fight — it takes too much energy to keep it going.

Well, we can believe that Whoopi can't even be bothered to keep up a grudge. Barbara Walters credits the current [Rosie O'Donnell-free] lineup with making the show more relevant and popular than ever as it enters its 13th season:

The chemistry is the most important thing. We have been imitated again and again- by men, by other programs — and the thought is there should be one older person, one comedian, one black person, and one younger person, and that will make it work. And it doesn't.

Barbara says that after all the contentious interviews they've had in the past year guests no longer expect the co-hosts to go easy on them because it's just a women's show. In fact, Barbara claims a large number of their viewers are men. Elisabeth agrees, and explains:

Men watch The View to figure women out. My husband, Tim [Hasselbeck, former NFL quarterback], has played for two or three teams since I've been on the show, and every team he's been on, they all watch the show while they're icing their legs. They sit and watch and try to get what women are about.

So just keep in mind next time you're watching the show that men think it reflects what womenfolk are really like. Dudes must particularly enjoy when the co-hosts sexually molest their male guests. Sherri Shepherd says:

I love the gorgeous men who come through and that I get to put my hand on their thighs. The guys love it. Robert Downey Jr. put his head on my lap. And they kiss you. What kind of job do I have? Every man I love turns around and gives me a kiss? When Obama showed up, I was like, this is it, I am done. And Jonathan Rhys Meyers? I am like predator cougar on that boy. I will hurt you.

Where could Sherri have gotten the idea that that's the appropriate way to treat a guest? Well, she does say:

Sherri: Barbara gives the best single-woman advice.
LHJ: Like what?
Sherri: Oh my God, she gives me advice about raising my son and relationships. She also gives good advice about sex.
Barbara: Yeah, because I know so much about sex. I think I learned it all on the show.

But sometimes Barbara still has to be strict with Sherri, like after she infamously said the world is flat on her third day on the show. Sherri says:

I was so nervous and after the segment it was either Whoopi or Barbara who said, "Dear, you do know the world is round." And I was like, "I know that."

As always, the ladies smoothed things over after the incident, telling Sherri that they'd be "there for her," during her time of public humiliation. And it seems these past few seasons have been good for Sherri. Barbara commends her co-host for reading the newspaper every day now and being "more up to date on things than I am sometimes."

The rest of the interview is available here, and in the new issue of Ladies' Home Journal.

A View From The Top [Ladies' Home Journal]

• In the teaser footage from Larry King Live, it seemed like Chris Brown didn't remember assaulting Rihanna. But Chris has released a statement which reads:

"There have been reports on the Internet that I didn't remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight. That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said. The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn't think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn't fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, 'Do you remember doing it?' and I said, 'No.' Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can't believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before." There's more, but it's similarly vague. He does say he wants to talk to a counselor about what happened and how to channel his anger. [People, TMZ]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz were at the Western Wall in Jerusalem's Old City, and caused a "frenzy" of onlookers and paparazzi. Madonna wore high heels, blue jeans and a black jacket; Jesus wore a black T-shirt and a blank expression. [Daily Mail]
• In an interview with TV Guide, Paula Abdul talks about her emotional farewell from American Idol. "You know, to say ‘no regrets' isn't easy," Paula said. "I feel like I have been such a big, huge part of the success of the show from day one. I loved being able to be the artist's artist; being there from my point of view of knowing what it feels like to be vulnerable and to be out there wanting to achieve the most magical moment in a minute and 30 seconds. To be able to do that was an amazing experience and the show was wonderful for me in that regard." But she will not be taken advantage of! "I stand on principle where many people stand on money," she explained. "I'm a hard-working artist. I've lasted in this business for 23 years. And you can't do that unless you are good at what you do. I believe in myself and you have to have your own self-respect." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul will be on TV — playing a judge on Drop Dead Diva and hosting VH1's Divas concert. [USA Today]
• While in Las Vegas, Jon Gosselin was seen jewelry shopping. He looked at a few pinky rings, but mostly checked out engagement rings. [Radar Online]
• Paris Jackson got her hair cut and her security collected the hair from the floor and put it in a bag so no one could take a strand and do some kind of DNA test. [MSNBC via Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson had been requesting hospital-grade sedatives in order to sleep since 1994. [MSNBC]
• OMG: Soleil Moon Frye dressed up as Punky Brewster for her Twitter fans. Sunburst hair barrettes, stripey socks, a key around the neck. Holy macanoli. Video here. [TMZ, Ustream]
• Pete Wentz is working on a new comic book series, Fall Out Toy Works, and says: "I think after you have a kid, all of a sudden you want to do things that your kid can see." But the comic image at the link depicts robot girl with giant breasts and a mini-waist, which doesn't seem appropriate for 9-month-old Bronx. [USA Today]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters were not even watching the Daytime Emmy Awards when The View won this year, after 11 years on the air. Joy Behar joked: "I always said that the key to success was showing up - this time I was wrong." [Gatecrasher]
• "Consider this year's slate of Emmy nominees for best actress in a drama: Sally Field, 62; Holly Hunter, 50; Glenn Close, 62; Mariska Hargitay, 45, and Kyra Sedgwick, 43. The single exception on the list is Elisabeth Moss, the ambitious, naive Peggy Olson in Mad Men, which recently returned for its third season. If Moss, who is 27, were to win, she would be the youngest winner in the category's history." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• Kim Mathers did an interview with a Detroit radio station about her ex-husband, Eminem. She did not hold back, saying: "I can't stand him. He's an absolutely horrible person and he gets worse every day. I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name. There's nothing left in me for him. Nothing at all. He's not very well endowed. If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work." [The Sun]
• Real Housewives Of New York City is filming again; a crew was seen at Jill Zarin's fabric firm yesterday. But a source says there are two new women "waiting in the wings." [Page Six]
• Here's the reason Amy Winehouse was seen with magic marker freckles on her nose: Blake Fielder-Civil used to call her his "lioness." A source says: "She painted the orange marks on her nose and wore a tiger-print top so that Blake would notice." Uh, do lions have freckles? [The Sun]
• Jay-Z will mark the eighth anniversary of 9/11 with a concert to benefit the families of New York's Finest and Bravest who died that day. [Page Six]
• Interested in a story linking Sharon Osbourne, Ryan Jenkins, Jasmine Fiore, Michael Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones ... and Kevin Bacon? [TMZ]
• Keanu Reeves will star in and produce Henry's Crime, a romcom about a bighearted man who is falsely accused of robbing a bank in Buffalo. [Variety]
• Tia and Tamera Mowry will star in a Lifetime move called Double Wedding. Twin sisters begin dating the same man; cue hijinks. [Variety]
• In an interview to air on September 11, ESPN reporter Erin Andrews tells Oprah that having secretly taped nude footage of her on the internet was a "nightmare." [AP]
• "Stephen Fry: gorillas staring at my moobs inspired weight loss. Stephen Fry has said he was inspired to lose five-stone in weight when he noticed gorillas eyeing-up his ''man boobs'' with jealousy." [Telegraph]
• Shania Twain has been "moving on" since her marriage broke up last year: She is nnow with the husband of the woman her husband had an affair with and will be a guest judge on American Idol. [Reuters]
• Whatshername has spent £150,000 on a new dressage horse "which she is calling Cross Dresser." [The Sun]
• Whatshername met her new boyfriend's parents. [Mirror]
• "I was raped when I was younger, more than once." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "[When I first met him] he was wearing an EPMD T-shirt, which let me know he knew and loved classic hip-hop music and was a true fan of the culture. He was excited to meet me and told me what the show I used to host, Yo! MTV Raps, meant to his music development. He really wanted me to sign his DVD of my film Wild Style, which I sadly never got to do. I would later check him out in numerous clips on YouTube where I could see he was truly talented and was elevating the DJ game to new heights along with Travis Barker on the drums. DJ AM and I would exchange small messages on Twitter and I'd often notice him tweet about how he'd landed safely in whatever town he was in as a year ago he survived that tragic plane crash. His last tweet and looking at his @djam twitter page now looks like a monument to a fallen soldier in the culture war, which he was winning. R.I.P. DJ AM...and the BEAT GOES ON!!!!" — Fab Five Freddy. [The Daily Beast]
• "I try to [Twitter]. My parents are way better at it, obviously, than me. I keep trying to figure out, like, do people really care if I'm, like, 'hey, I'm doing my laundry!' [laughs] I keep trying to figure it out, but I'm working on it." — Rumer Willis. She also reveals that her middle sister, Scout, is fluent in French. [JustJared]
• "My early life from infancy to leaving home at 16 was spent in care. I had some wonderful social workers who supported me and helped me achieve my goals in life. That's why it's important to recruit more social workers. There are many people out there, whether they be children, families, vulnerable adults, even the aged, who need a social worker. I want to enable them to have the support they need. Help us to help them, and maybe one day they may help you." — Samantha Morton. [Guardian]
• "If you are old you're not going to play young leads any more, that's a fact. In the film world, the camera loves a young person, man or woman. That's a fact... None of these things are ever going to change. So absorb it, live with it, get over it. I'm not being unkind, but I'm just saying millions of crones like me shouldn't suddenly be given the lead in things, just because we're damn old and very ... sort of recalcitrant." — Joanna Lumley. [Telegraph]
• "There was a photo of me with weird sunglasses on and a green sweatshirt, some striped thing, with tights and cowboy boots. Something really random where in some sense it's me. To this day, I have never read the article. I just saw the photo and thought, 'God, I look crazy in that photograph!' " — Mary-Kate Olsen. [Page Six]

• Melanie Griffith's rep confirmed that she has checked into a rehab facility saying, "This is part of a routine plan that was designed between her and her doctors years ago." But sources say husband Antonio Banderas demanded she get sober.

• "Melanie's struggling right now, but Antonio has been checking in on her as much as he is allowed, making sure she gets back on her feet. Without Antonio in her life, I honestly believe Melanie would be dead," says the source. [Star]
• A law enforcement official told the Associated Press that the L.A. County coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death a homicide. The report hasn't been released to the public yet, but forensic tests found that MJ died when propofol mixed with at least two sedatives in his system. It's now even more likely that criminal charges will be filed against Dr. Conrad Murray. [MSNBC]
• According to a search warrant affidavit, Dr. Conrad Murray told the police he had been giving Michael Jackson propofol every night to treat his insomnia. Murray said he only left the room for two minutes to go to the bathroom and when he came back MJ wasn't breathing. [TMZ]
• The law firm that did work for Michael Jackson during his child molestation trial claims the estate still owes them $200,000. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson says Michael Jackson would have loved next month's global tribute concert in Vienna. She says, "An event of this dimension not only keeps Michael's spirit alive, more than that: It gives millions of fans the opportunity to experience his music and celebrate the life of my son." [AP]
• In the video at the link Jasmine Fiore's mother and Robert Hasman, the ex she was texting on the night she was murdered, talk about Ryan Jenkins' suicide. Hasman says, "I was happy that Ryan, that he killed himself." [TMZ]
• Though Ryan Jenkins was found dead in a hotel room in Canada yesterday, police are still looking for the women who allegedly drove him to the hotel, checked him in, paid for three days, and left 20 minutes later. [TMZ]
• At the link are pictures of the hotel room where Jenkins was found, which were taken after the room was cleaned. He was hanging from the coat rack but his feet were touching the ground. [TMZ]
• Police say they have identified the woman but won't reveal her identity. The hotel manager says he's "100% sure" it's Paulina Chmielecka, Jenkins' former fiance, but police say it isn't her and her agent says, "There is no way it can be her because on Friday she was doing a fashion show and Saturday she was filming a cooking show... She's grieving the loss of someone she used to love." [TMZ]
• Police say they are investigating whether the woman could face charges of being an accessory after the fact to a border violation and evading police. [AP]
• At V Festival Amy Winehouse said of ex Blake Fielder-Civil, "He's my man." During a magic show Amy held up an ace and said: "You see this ace card right here, this one is for me and Blake - it's our lucky card, he's my man, we can make it, we're so strong together." [The Mirror]
• Brad Pitt's manager says he was misquoted by a German magazine that reported he called Valkyrie "ridiculous." His manager explains, "Brad has never even seen Valkyrie." [UPI]
• OMG, Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were totally holding hands! "Jen and Gerry went out on Saturday night," says a source,"[they] had cocktails and … They were hand in hand." Does this mean Jen like likes him? [People]
• This latest step in their high school romance makes sense according to another source because "Jennifer won't date a normal guy... She goes after the hottest thing of the moment, what she knows will get her the most time in the spotlight." [Us]
• Britney Spears' ex, Adnan Ghalib, has pled not guilty to hitting a process server who was serving him papers regarding her conservatorship with his car. [TMZ]\
• Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart took a trip on Friday, driving from L.A. to Santa Barbara. An eyewitness said, "Rebecca looked tired and upset." [People]
• "I have cellulite. I admit it," says Cindy Crawford. "Sometimes I just say, 'Screw it, I am going to wear a bikini.'" [People]
• Ugh. An MTV executive says that next season on The Hills, "Heidi and Spencer are entering some interesting new territory of considering parenthood." [People]
• Martina Navratilova is engaged to Russian beauty queen and model Julia Lemigova who was in the news in 2005 when her former lover, Edouard Stern, was murdered by his mistress during sadomasochist sex. [Daily Mail]
• A new Jay-Z song called "Off That" was released this weekend. It includes the lyrics: "Please tell Bill O'Reilly to fall back. Tell Rush Limbaugh to get off my balls. It's 2010, not 1864." [Politico]
• Wanda Sykes says she doesn't regret telling jokes about Rush Limbaugh at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. "I missed the flak because I wasn't even watching television over the next few days. ... But I wouldn't change anything," she says, "I just know a lot of people were in the room, and they were all laughing, so I think there's a little hypocrisy there - people covering their ass." [Politico]
• The View has announced a few more celebrities who will guest host next season while Elisabeth Hasselbeck is on maternity leave, including Meghan McCain, LaToya Jackson, Victoria Beckham, and Kathy Griffin, who apparently isn't banned for life. [The View]
• A&E is being sued over the network's new Steven Seagal reality show because a production company claims the idea was stolen from an idea they pitched for a reality show about Seagal, Chuck Norris, and Jean-Claude Van Damme living together. [TMz]
• Tyra Banks will be in the fourth episode of Gossip Girl this season and will play the late singer and actress Josephine Baker. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Denise Richards says of sending her daughter Sam to school in the fall, "It's bittersweet... Sami starts kindergarten, which I cannot believe, in a couple of weeks. I'm so sad about it." [People]
• "I will always love Chanel and I am completely irrational when it comes to their clothes. I will see a dress and not like it. But then, when I hear it's Chanel, I suddenly have to have it!" — Anne Hathaway [New!]
• Christopher Reeve's son, Matthew Reeve, is training to run the New York City marathon in honor of his father. He says, "I'm constantly grateful and appreciative of being able to do the simplest, most basic functions, and the fact that I have good health and can move normally. That's something I've been more aware of and grateful for since the age of 15 than most people. There is a sense of, well, I can and I should." [N.Y. Times]
• "I don't think a naked body is particularly shocking or interesting. It's not the culture I was raised in. I was not brought up in the United States. I don't share the [attitude] that you can have graphic violence, but – God forbid – you see someone's nipples." — Anna Paquin [People]
• "The thing about vampirism is that it taps into a female point of view – you have an old-fashioned gentleman with manners who is a fucking killer… it's an interesting duality, because in our present society it would be an odd thing for a woman to say, ‘I want my man to be physical with me.' How, as a modern man, can you fucking work that? It's one thing to be polite and gentle… But when do you know it's OK to crawl out of the mud and rape her [as Bill does in one scene]?… It's difficult stuff for a bloke, but a vampire gets away with it…. I think that's the attraction of the show – it's looking back at a romantic time when men were men, but they were still charming." — True Blood's Stephen Moyer [Just Jared]

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

• An audience member says, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians... Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one." Too late Rosie! [Fox News]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce will be finalized by the end of the month. Also Hailey Glassman has agreed to do an interview with E!'s Giuliana Rancic on August 17 in a one-hour special at 7pm ET. She's going to stay away from the kids until the divorce is official, but then all bets are off. [Radar Online, Ok]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 had only 3.5 million viewers, down 4 million from the week before. [Us]
• Let's hope no one gets in Taylor Lautner's way! "I love that kid," says Kristen Stewart. "I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [People]
• Though it was reported that Jennie Garth, who is married to Twilight's Peter Facinelli said Robert Pattinson was either dating Kristen Stewart or Nikki Reed, rep says she actually said, "I can't say [who Rob's dating]. That will be breaking my promise to my husband. But I do know." [Radar Online]
• This morning on Today, Brad Pitt says he's seen the "Brad Pitt for mayor" shirts many New Orleans resident have been wearing, but he's not considering a run because, "I don't have a chance." [AP]
• Three sources say Dr. Conrad Murray left Michael Jackson alone after giving him propofol to make phone calls on the morning he died. He'd left him alone after giving him the drug before, but not monitoring MJ may legally meet the level of negligence required for an involuntary manslaughter charge. [L.A. Times]
• Michael Jackson and a man named Henry Vaccaro had been fighting over some of MJ's memorabilia, including 26 unreleased songs for years. When two of Jackson's lawyers went to retrieve eight of the items last month Vaccaro said they were missing, but the items were later auctioned off. Police are investigating. [TMZ]
• Motown founder Berry Gordon will write the introduction to the rerelease of Michael Jackson's memoir Moonwalk. [AP]
• Though Amy Winehouse was previously banned from entering the U.S. she still wants to do a tour and her spokesperson said that now, "There is nothing to stop her getting a visa to travel to America." [Contact Music]
• Patrick Swayze was recently hospitalized for a week, possibly because of intestinal bleeding, but he's home now. [Radar Online]
• Madonna is renovating her recently purchased New York townhouse and now huge dumpsters are blocking the entire road. [The Sun]
• If Philadelphia school officials approve, Tony Danza may co-teach 10th grade English at Northeast High School this fall for a reality TV show called Teach on A&E. [AP]
• Billy Mays' health insurance commercial for the iCAN benefit group has been pulled from the air. [TMZ]
• Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of her child. As for how she could have gotten pregnant she said, "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill. I've done that several times and never really thought about it…I know, it's stupid." When she told Disick, "He was like way more like excited than I was. Like he definitely wasn't as nervous and scared." But she's not sure if they'll get married. She says, "We've talked about it, but I feel like there's so much going on that I like can't even go there." [E!]
• Kourtney's mom Kris Jenner says, "I am beyond thrilled and excited and cannot wait to meet my new grandchild! We are truly blessed." [People]
• Sky Blu of the hip-hop group LMFAO has a crush on Khloe Kardashian. [E!]
• Though she initially didn't show much interest in Beatles Rock Band, which will be released in September, Yoko Oko visited Harmonix studios in Boston a few months ago. "She gave the designers hell," said a VP at the company. "We were like, ‘Oh, gee. Thanks'. It would have been nice to know that six months ago, but yes, ‘Thank you very much'." [Mirror]
• Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are going to guest star in an upcoming episode of Family Guy in which Brian becomes a Republican because he's upset he has nothing to complain about anymore with Barack Obama in the White House. [Politico]
• Toby Keith's new song and music video American Ride may become the theme for town hallers. It makes fun of global warming, terrorists, and illegal immigrants, and the video shows "President Bush in front of the White House giving Christian-right leader Pat Robertson a piggyback ride. Another shows bankers hoisting President Obama in a walk through a destroyed Wall Street district as dollars fall from the sky." Check it out here: [U.S. News & World Report]
• The Miss Universe Organization has releasing topless photos of outgoing Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, to Maxim for the September issue. While previously similar organizations have always condemned contestants for releasing such pictures (Mendoza's arm covers her breasts), a pageant official said, "She just loved the way they turned out and she really wanted to be able to share them. If she had taken these photos and sent them to a magazine, that would be a different issue. But she handled this so appropriately. She came to us and said, ‘I understand I'm Miss Universe and I have this title, but as Dayana Mendoza, I'd like to share these photos.'" [MSNBC]
• Jerry O'Connell has enrolled at Los Angeles' Southwestern Law School. When his wife Rebecca Romijn was asked why he enrolled there she said he was, "very impressed with the faculty and the vibe here. This is brand new to him as well. He's very much looking forward to his education." [Us]
• In the video at the link Jessica Capshaw of Grey's Anatomy explains that the next season will be "heavy." [E!]
• Reese Witherspoon, who is filming the baseball movie How Do You Know has just recovered from getting a black eye a few weeks ago, and now she has another one. [Daily Express]
• Abbie Cornish, who was accuse of breaking up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe's relationship says, "It was a really difficult time for me... It was just this world of tabloid magazines that I'd never been exposed to. In a normal successful career, someone usually learns these things bit by bit. For me, it was like night and day. I woke up one day and there was this whole new thing I had to process and deal with." [W]
• Mike Tyson has given his first interview since the accidental death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus. "I am working with dealing with it," he says. "I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckman's rep says, "there are no talks of her being a permanent judge [on American Idol]. They felt she was natural in Denver. [But] she has Fashion Week coming up, and she is focusing on that." [L.A. Times]
• Lily Allen has but a Breitling watch she bough for herself that's too big up for sale on Twitter for £3,200. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid, hanging out with Katie and Peter Andre's son. Both are topless for some reason. [Daily Mail]
• "I love England. It would be a wonderful life experience to have an excuse to work here for six or nine months..." says Quentin Tarantino. "I am a huge fan of Simon Pegg, so I would definitely love to work with him. I also think Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses that ever lived, so I would be honoured to work with her. I am also a huge admirer of Anthony Hopkins. I would also love to work with Michael Caine. I can see them appearing in my movies, it just has to be right." [Daily Express]
• Q: How does it feel to be the face of Twitter. Ashton Kutcher: "It feels like I should own some of it but unfortunately I don't. However one person does not make a community." [Time]
• Q: Does it bother you to be called Mr. Demi Moore? Ashton Kutcher: No. Why would it? People have called me much worse. [Time]
• Rachel McAdams says of playing a mother for the first time, "I was excited and nervous about it because I haven't done it before. It was a welcome challenge. The little girls [Hailey McCann and Tatum McCann] in this film were so fantastic. They are real sisters and they made my job really easy. So I didn't have to work too hard at that." [People]
• "I think Pete's really honest, and there's something to be said for that, on this show. He's honest even when it works against him. He can't help himself. He has to say the blatant thing. He's like that guy who meets someone and says, "Oh wow, you have a mole on your nose!" I like people like that. They're not ashamed to go up to a guy and be like, 'Hey, how'd you lose your arms?' Like, 'Come on, everyone else is wondering, I had to ask!' But then, the guy without the arms is probably so sick of answering that question! ... He's no Don Draper. Like you said, he's the biggest rube in the room. And he's the biggest buffoon in the room." — Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men [Salon]

Sarah Palin:Now that Palin is no longer a Governor, The View would be a good place for her to continue to push her ideas and keep her face on America's tv screens, and the publicity would be insane for the show, as well. Her friend, Elisabeth, would certainly approve. And just think of the joy it would bring Joel McHale and the crew of The Soup! Comedy gold, my friends.


Ann Coulter Hasselbeck's absence leaves the panel with a blonde, conservative spot to fill. Coulter, however, probably wouldn't be the best fit. One gets the feeling that either Joy Behar or Whoopi Goldberg would end up leaving the set in disgust 10 minutes into the first program. And a black cocktail dress isn't really the ideal outfit for morning tv. Bummer, as that's all Ann seems to wear, EVER.


Meghan McCain: This one is actually quite interesting and probably the most likely choice on our list. McCain is likable (even if you don't like her politics), warm, able to discuss more than just politics, and could fill Hasselbeck's role as the token blonde Republican quite well. Not only that, but McCain's Republicanism and Sherri Shepard's conservative views could often end up at odds, which would provide pretty great conversations (or, in View land, pretty great periods of everyone screaming at the same time.) McCain is also only 24 years old: might be nice to have someone under 30 on the panel for a change.


Heidi Montag Like Elisabeth, she's apparently qualified to speak on behalf of younger women because she's been on a popular reality show. She'd bring her love of Jesus, stupid Playboy shots, terrible music, and men with flesh-colored beards to the table. Where Elisabeth railed against abortion, Heidi could warn us all against the robot invasion that's coming to take us away, or whatever it is she's into this week. And just think of the musical performances! Or don't. It's probably better that way.

Of course, these suggestions are all made under the assumption that The View will fill Elisabeth's seat with someone like-minded (and probably blonde), though it would be great—and surprising—if they went the opposite way and had a pro-choice woman fill in for Hasselbeck, instead, if only to provide a different representation of women under 40: with Elisabeth gone, the youngest woman on the panel is Sherri Shepard, 42. Who do you think will fill the seat?

View's Hasselbeck Has A Baby Boy, Isaiah [The View]

[New York, July 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Earlier: Doctors Warn Botox May Cause Birth Defects

• Jonathan Rhys Meyers was detained by French police this weekend for allegedly assaulting an airport cafe bartender who refused to serve him because he was drunk. They started fighting and when a waiter intervened, Rhys Meyers punched him.

• Rhys Meyers was held in a sober lock-up area for three hours and released. He is required to appear before a French court in September to face charges of "voluntary violence, contempt, issuing death threats and assault." [People]
• Perez Hilton is suing the Black Eyed Peas' manager, Polo Molina, for battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress. He is seeking $25,000 in damages. [USA Today]
• Polo Molina may wind up in jail for six months if the charges stick because he's already on probation for a DUI. [TMZ]
• Matthew Broderick talked about his new twins while leaving a production of his Broadway show The Philanthropist last night. "I'm very happy. I don't know what else to say," he said, adding, "I've seen them already. I just got back [from Ohio]." [People]
• Yesterday a Chris Brown song called "Not My Fault" appeared online, but his people say the song is three years old and not about Rihanna. [CNN]
• TMZ has obtained a copy of the Gosselin's divorce papers. There's nothing particularly unusual or interesting about them, but why should anything about their lives be kept private? [TMZ]
• TLC has responded to claims that Jon Gosselin's alleged mistress Deanna Hummel will be on Jon and Kate Plus 8 when the show comes back from hiatus in August. The network released a statement saying, "There are no plans to use her. We are in hiatus and all future episodes haven't even been planned." But, how could future episodes of a "reality show" be planned? [TMZ]
• Michelle Obama is expected to make a cameo at Beyonce's concert in Washington, D.C. tonight. [Just Jared]
• This morning on The View Elisabeth Hasselbeck addressed the charges that she plagiarized her book The G-Free Diet, saying, "I just want to assure you the allegations are without merit and are being handled appropriately." [People]
• Emma Watson, 19, says she and her boyfriend of a year, 25-year-old Jay Barrymore, are not on the verge of a breakup. "The only reason it's 'on/off' is because the papers make up so much rubbish!" she says. [The Daily Express]
• People think Emma Watson is attending Columbia University because someone named "Charlotte E. Watson" has appeared in the student directory and her real name is Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson. She has said in the past, "I just want to keep it private [my college choice] for as long as I can. I probably sound like a paranoid nut, but I'm doing this because I want to be normal. I really want anonymity. I want to do it properly, like everyone else. As long as I don't walk in, and see, like, Harry Potter posters everywhere, I'll be fine." [Just Jared]
• Jason Alexander was speaking in Israel today as part of his work with a charity that has Israeli and Palestinian students write about what they imagine what the world may look like if a peace agreement is signed. He said the search for Israeli-Palestinian peace is similar to Seinfeld because both seemed destined not to succeed. "We were canceled, we were gone, we were a distant memory and somehow we came back and eventually everybody caught on and started paying attention," he said. [AP]
• Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole insulted Audrina Patridge on Twitter after Audrina called Nicole's boyfriend, Brody Jenner, a "whore" whom she is "way more famous than. Nicole Tweeted: "Listen CEILING eyes.. not only are you a WHORE you are the dumbest human being I have EVER met so don't talk shit about Brody." [Perez Hilton]
• Audrina Patridge says her new show for MTV will begin filming at the end of the summer, but right now she's still filming The Hills. She says of castmate Kristin Cavallari, "I know she's in it now, but it's a matter of how she fits in, and we've only filmed a couple times and I really don't know [if she'll be the focus]... I don't really know her. I don't talk to her. Like, I really don't care." [People]
• Former American Idol star Kimberly Locke is hosting the Gospel Music Channel's singing competition show Gospel Dream. She says, "It's different in that the contestants are very focused on where they want to be and the type of music they want to sing. When you are on "Idol," you are forced to fit into all of these different genres you may or may not want to do and you may or may not even be familiar with them." [CNN]
• Last week a judge ruled that a Minnesota mom, Jammie Thomas-Rasset, owes the RIAA a $1.92 million fine for illegally downloading 24 songs. Richard Marx, one of the artists whose music she downloaded released a statement saying, "It seems to me, especially in these extremely volatile economic times, that holding Ms. Thomas-Rasset accountable for the continuing daily actions of hundreds of thousands of people is, at best, misguided and at worst, farcical... I'm ashamed to have my name associated with this issue." Moby, whose music she also downloaded, wrote on his blog: "What utter nonsense... Punishing people for listening to music is exactly the wrong way to protect the music business." [Rolling Stone]
• New York Times readers have responded to Patti LuPone's email defending her decision to stop performing when she sees someone using an electronic device in the audience. Most commenters replied, "Brava, diva." [N.Y. Times]
• "Women in movies, in general, are sexy — especially in Michael [Bay]'s movies. And if you want to make movies that people want to see, that's part of it. That's part of the formula," — Megan Fox. [Reuters]
• Vanessa Minnillo is over her break up with Nick Lachey according to a random person who saw her at a party. "She certainly wasn't moping in the corner or looking upset over her breakup at all," said the partygoer. "I saw her talking to three or four really cute guys. She totally seemed to be flirting and didn't look like she was upset or anything." [Life & Style]
• Antonio Bandaras said he was uncomfortable filming his love scenes with Radha Mitchell in the upcoming film The Code. He said, "Radha was - she is a lady, so I tried to be as respectful as possible. At the same time, I'm nearly 50 years old, and even I start getting more wary of those scenes... Everything changes as you get older - your mind, your body, the way you view the world." [The Daily Express]
• Johnny Depp says he hopes people will like his character John Dillinger in Public Enemies even though he's a criminal. "Especially in that era … everything was going against the common man. People like John Dillinger came back and were anti the establishment in their own special way," Depp said. "I actually hope people root for him, too." [USA Today]
• Though Michelle Pfeiffer plays an older woman who seduces a younger man in her new period film Cheri she says she doesn't like the word "cougar." She says, "I can't wait for that word to go out of fashion. I just think it's . . . . I'm so over it. Not that I was ever really into it. Where did that start, anyway? How did that evolve? Well, it's not really what the movie's about. But if it brings people into the theater, I'm all for that." [L.A. Times]
• Gisele Bundchen says she's focusing more on family now that she's pregnant. "I am crazy about children ... I am an adoptive mother ... I've already had this experience for two years," says Gisele. "I prefer to stay at home. The big husband wins. Because of this relationship, what is most important to me is the family. Now I am creating my other family." [People]
• Jill Scott explains why she and her husband broke up shortly after the birth of their son Jett, saying, "[My husband] was there and for a couple of days afterwards while I stayed in hospital, but John and I are no longer together. When you have a baby you're dealing with a lot of emotions and I don't know how much of it had to do with us breaking up, but it happens. We definitely love our son and we are co-parenting and working on being friends. It is what it is. I have a lot of support, so I want for nothing as far as that's concerned. I know some might criticize me or the fact that my son is being raised in a single-parent home, but I wasn't raised in a two-parent home and I had a good relationship with my dad. I have hopes for him and I'm sure his father will do his part as well." [Essence]

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's surrogate gave birth to their twin girls this morning in Ohio. Sarah Jessica and Matthew are at the hospital with the surrogate and released a statement saying:

• "Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are delighted to announce the healthy arrival of their two daughters. Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick weighed 5 lbs, 11oz and Tabitha Hodge Broderick weighed 6 pounds. Both Hodge and Elwell are family names on Parker's side. The babies are doing beautifully and the entire family is over the moon. [TMZ, ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Kreider and his wife Jodi Kreider were so outraged by Kate discussing her divorce on TV that they agreed to do an interview with Radar Online in their home minutes after last night's Jon and Kate Plus 8 ended. Kevin said, "We're just so heartbroken and sad about the announcement they made... an announcement that could be so life-shattering for a young child. It was used to gain ratings without any regard for my nieces and nephews." [Radar Online]
• Miranda Tozier-Robbins, the woman who was allegedly caught peeping into Britney Spears' home, pled not guilty today to charges of trespassing, peeping, and prowling. A pretrial date was is set for July 17. [TMZ]
• Lil Wayne attended a pretrial hearing in Arizona related to drug posession and weapons charges. The judge set another date for August 11. [USA Today]
• Darryl Hannah and others were arrested at a protest in West Virginia against mountaintop removal mining. Protesters were blocking a road near a coal processing plant. [USA Today]
• E! is now a "Speidi-Free Zone." The network won't cover Spencer and Heidi Pratt, "Barring any actual news (e.g., she gets knocked up, he falls off a cliff or-heaven help us-her album goes to No. 1), consider this their very last post." [E!]
• Audrina Patridge stars in a new Carl's Jr. ad. While wearing a gold bikini, she rolls around on the beach and eats a "healthier" Teriyaki Burger. She says, "To look this good in a bikini, I've got to give up, like, everything. But there's no way I'm giving up that Teriyaki burger. I'm totally obsessed. I have to be a little bad." [The Sun]
• While speaking at the National Conference on Volunteers and Service, Matthew McConaughey talked about expecting his second child with girlfriend Camilla Alves. "We are putting after-school fitness and wellness programs into underserved communities nationwide, teaching physical fitness, nutrition education, with an emphasis on daily gratitude for how much or how little we have," McConaughey said, "And now that I'm blessed to be a father myself – I got one at home [Levi] who's 11 months and as you people know, we have another one in the oven, three months – this foundation and its cause means even more to me." [People]
• Though Nick Cannon says wife Mariah Carey isn't pregnant, he's announced that when the day comes he'll be a great dad. "I want to be a father that's all about love," says Cannon. "That's the main thing to get right and at the end of the day it's just about smothering my children with love. The same way I do to my wife!" [People]
• Would you vote for President Jolie? Supposedly Angelina Jolie is thinking of entering politics. "Ange has admitted she's getting bored with Hollywood. She said she's now got her sights set on Washington," says a friend. "She is passionate about people's rights, war and justice and thinks she can get more hands-on and make even more of a difference by getting into politics. She admires Obama and thinks she could make a big difference too if she were in his position." [The Daily Express]
• Eve will appear in two episodes of Glee as a "no-nonsense girls' choir director from a rival school." Whitney Houston was being considered for the part. [Entertainment Weekly]
• According to the annual report of the British Board of Film Classification, several viewers complained about Dame Judi Dench's swearing in Quantum of Solace. "Almost every time Dame Judi swears in a film, regardless of its category, we can expect a number of complaints," said the report. "It seems that she should not use such language." [The Mirror]
• Nick Jonas is meeting with Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office this afternoon on behalf of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. [Politico]
• Zac Efron has been signed to star in an untitled "sexy thriller." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to see some spoilers concerning whether or not Dominic Monaghan will return to Lost, read on: [E!]
• Sam Kinison's widow, Malika Borghese is suing Sam's brother for allegedly forging the comedian's will 17 years ago. She claims he rewrote the will to give himself most of his brother's estate, but she only found out in 2007. [TMZ]
• A coroner has announced that Former Wilco guitarist Jay Bennett died of an overdose of the pain killer fentanyl. He had posted on MySpace that he was getting ready for hip replacement surgery after years of pain. [AP]
• Despite rumors that she was given special treatment in prison, Foxy Brown says, "It was incarceration, not vacation. I only wore the designer clothing I was allowed to have." [The N.Y. Post]
• If you're a great tattoo artist, Megan Fox would like to meet you. "I'm looking for a really good artist," she said, "So if you fancy yourself one, try and find me. Have your people talk to my people, and I'll come see you." [E!]
• Paul McCartney has been telling friends he's confident that he'll live to be 100. "Paul has a hunch he'll still be here to mark his 100th year," says a family source. "At the end of the day he leads a pretty healthy life with a strict vegetarian diet and he exercises regularly. He certainly sees 100 as a reachable target." [The Daily Express]
• Courteney Cox will guest star in an episode of Lisa Kudrow's online comedy series Web Therapy, which is produced by Lexus for their branded entertainment network. Alan Cumming, Steven Weber and Victor Garber will also guest star in the second season. [Brand Week]
• Patti LuPone responded to the New York Times story on her pausing a performance to yell at an audience member who may have been photographing her. She wrote in an email: "I found the tone of your report very snide and feel compelled to write you to ask – what do expect me, or any performer for that matter, to do? Do we allow our rights to be violated (photography, filming and audio taping of performances is illegal) or tolerate rudeness by members of the audience who feel they have the right to sit in a dark theater, texting or checking their e-mail while the light from their screens distract both performers and the audience alike? Or, should I stand up for my rights as a performer as well as the audiences I perform for?" [N.Y. Times]
• Ellen DeGeneres says she and wife Portia de Rossi aren't going to have kids. "We have animals, and we love them. They don't talk back, and they don't explore their vocal chords out in public," said Ellen. "[Portia's] brother and his wife just had a baby girl who's a month old now, and it's fun to be a part of that. But no, I think, you know, we definitely thought about it. And it's something I think most people, as a relationship goes on, explore. But it's just a huge responsibility, and I don't know that that's something we want to take on. We're very happily married without children." [Ok]
• Melissa Auf der Maur says she only recorded background vocals for Courtney Love's solo album Nobody's Daughter because of producer Michael Beinhorn, who worked on the last Hole album, not because the band is reuniting. "Michael Beinhorn and I had an incredible working relationship on Celebrity Skin," Auf der Maur said. "And he called me and asked me if I would sing on [Courtney's] new solo record – which is what I understood it was. And I said 'Yes' because I enjoy working with him and ... well, she and I have a history of making music together. And I'm happy to visit her again in the future." [The Guardian]
• Melissa Leo plays Christian Bale's mom in the upcoming film The Fighter. When asked about her onscreen son's reputation for getting too into his roles, she said, "He does, but that's great. I met him on the airplane to Massachusetts a month and a half ago, before he had met his character Dicky. I watched him meet Dicky and right away saw how [Christian] absorbed him. Then, I saw him again a couple of weeks later when we got together to do work, and the transformation-wow. It has been amazing. It just delights me to see. Acting is so precious to me, and to see someone like Christian who really works at it and enjoys it...He's just amazing." [E!]
• Samuel L. Jackson says the only reason he wasn't in Mamma Mia! is that he wasn't aware his friend Phylida Lloyd was even working on it. He says, "I missed that because a friend of mine actually directed Mamma Mia! And I didn't know it until I saw her last year at the British Film Awards and they won all of these awards. I would have called to be in Mamma Mia! I'm a huge Abba fan." [The Daily Express]

Hassett says she sent a copy of her book to Hasselbeck in April of 2008, via certified mail, but never received any acknowledgment from The View co-host. In May 2009, Hasselbeck published her own book about Celiac disease, that was eerily similar to Hassett's, even down to chapter titles. Before the suit was filed, a letter was sent to Hasselbeck by Hassett's attorney enumerating many—but not all—of the similarities. Some are:

Hassett's book:
"[S]ometimes manufactures [sic] will change the starch in a product and not change the label on the product or the label on the box that…Call the company and ask for it in writing again and again and again if you have to."

Vs.

Hasselbeck's book:
"Call Back Periodically...Call back every so often to make sure any once questionable foods are still gluten-free. Companies frequently change their manufacturing sites or acquire a new brand without altering their product labels."

Hassett's book:
"Some spices have a starch put in so it does not stick together you must find out where the starch is derived. Is the starch from corn or wheat?"

Vs.

Hasselbeck's book:
"Spices: Beware the anticlumping agents added to many commercial herbs and seasonings—they almost always use gluten."

Hassett's book:
"A person with celiac disease should only shop in the outer isles of the supermarket. The reason being the only thing down the other isles is things you can't have."

Vs.

Hasselbeck's book:
"The foods in the outer isles of the supermarket should be the foundation of your diet…"

Hassett Chapter 1: What is Celiac Disease?
Hasselbeck Chapter 1: What is Celiac Disease?

Hassett Chapter 11: Things that should be though about (regarding travel)
Hasselbeck Chapter 11: Traveling G-Free

Hassett's book, which was self-published, seems less edited than Hasselbeck's, but the comparisons are interesting to say the least.

Hasselbeck Accused of No Original Thoughts [TMZ]

• A mob of 50 young men in Kathmandu, Nepal stripped a woman naked, beat her, and paraded her through the streets. Although the victim's identity is unknown, it is believed that she may have been a sex worker, or they may have mistaken her for one. • Eight of Jacqueline Kennedy's drawings of her husband, John F Kennedy, from 1961 are going up for auction today. • In 1993, Richard Allen Davis was convicted of the kidnapping and murder of 12-year-old Polly Klaas. Today the California high court voted to uphold the original ruling and keep Davis on death row. • A recent report has found that although American women are fairly responsible about cutting back their drug and alcohol consumption during pregnancy, many return to their previous vices soon after giving birth. • "For someone with her sensitivity and her intellect — she was such a people person. To get a disease like this and become increasingly passive and out of touch, it breaks my heart," said Jeanne Phillips of her mother Pauline Philips, more commonly as Abigail Van Buren, aka "Abby" from the Dear Abby column. After Pauline was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, Jeanne took over the job of advice columnist and the "Dear Abby" title. • New research shows that breast cancer survivors who are taking the cancer prevention drug tamoxifen face a higher risk of having the disease return if they are also on certain anti-depressants, including Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil. •  Although women now out number and outperform men in UK universities, they are still likely to earn a lower wage than men upon graduation. •  A report released Friday by the Human Rights Watch states that crimes committed against transgender people in Honduras often go ignored by the police. The group calls on the police to seriously investigate the crimes and punish all involved, which in some cases includes members of the Honduran police force. • Sterling Terrance Hospedales, a sergeant from Fort Lewis, has been charged with sex trafficking of a child and attempted sex trafficking of a child. He is accused of taking prostitution money from one juvenile and arranging to fly another girl in from Wyoming to work as a prostitute. • The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved a new regulation which will require companies that use insects in their food dyes to list them as an ingredient on the label. Leaders of a Washington watchdog group are pleased with the measure, but would still like to see the insect-based dyes banned. • Folic acid may be even better for babies than previously thought, new study says. Doctors believe that the supplements can be helpful in preventing premature birth and heart defects, among other things. • Lt. Col. Christopher Garver said Friday the Army is investigating allegations that eight male soldiers at Fort Dix took pictures and video of a group of female soldiers showering in their unit. So far no charges have been filed. • Iranian presidential candidate Mir-Hossein Mousavi announced recently his intention to "reform laws that are unfair to women." He also voiced his support for women's rights groups that are working to stop violence against women. Mousavi is one of four candidates approved to run in the elections, which will be held on June 12th. • A survey of 88 Darfuri women living in refugee camps found that a third reported or showed signs of rape while most reported fear of rape or sexual assault. The vast majority of the rapes occurred while the women were away from the camp gathering firewood. •

Elisabeth maintains that if Carrie Prejean had said she agrees with gay marriage then none of this would be happening, and her past indiscretions would never have been made public. (This may be true, but the media loves a beauty pageant scandal — namely inappropriate photos — no matter where the contestant stands on gay marriage.)

But back in 2006, when discussing the behavior of Tara Conner (who partied, and, gasp!, kissed another girl) Elisabeth wasn't nearly as compassionate.

The Good:
Kate Hudson probably didn't realize she was totally flouting the dress code with this snappy Betty Catroux suit.


On the one hand, Diane Sawyer's look is totally early-'90s. On the other, it suits her.


M.I.A. and Ben Brewer are obviously among the coolest couples in the world. And his chucks and suit remind me of my high school boyfriend.


This is clearly the conservative iteration of the lace suit Stella rocked last night, and this one I love. Not least because it alleviates the evening's monotony!


Sorry, gang, but Cindy McCain-esque 'do and 'up aside, this 30's-style ensemble is pretty and elegant.


The Bad - Okay, "Bad" is Too Harsh:
No one expects sartorial fireworks from Baba, but dowdy and busy? She can do so much better.


And Arianna Huffington! Why is she so committed to the D.C.-Jessica McClintock thing? I'd love to see her have a little fun, take a page from Michelle and try a little Thankoon or Toledo.


Black Magic:
Michelle Obama's 20's-inflected beads are an artsy, elegant touch - a far cry from the staid pearls one might expect. (Not shockingly, the First Lady didn't walk the red carpet.)


Georgina Chapman's layered, flirty iteration is predictably lovely; Marchesa's as feminine as it gets.


I'm beginning to believe Claire Danes can do no wrong. Again, it's somewhat dispiriting that a shoulder detail qualifies as a major fashion risk! Still, it's a conservative event.


Even in a sea of black, Leslie Mann's Miriam Hopkins-perfect velvet stands out.


Per usual, Suze Orman does LBD-as-suit. YSL would be proud.


Sherri Shepherd demonstrates the relaxed take.


Amy Poehler's curve-hugger shows what good lines can do on even the simplest frock.


Anjelica Huston worked basic black in the 70s, as an Addams, and has never lost the knack for utter chic.


Patricia Clarkson's 7 Year Itch is, somewhat tragically, one of the most daring shapes on the red carpet - and one of the prettiest.


Of course, the (long) BD is Coulter's uniform. No witch jokes, please!


What Say You?
Okay, I really feel for Andrea Mitchell these days; it can't be easy. But: what do we think of her textured chocolate, unexceptional or ugly?


When it comes to Liv Tyler's lace: fun or fungal?

[Images via Getty]

Though Elisabeth tried to back Sherri up, saying she Tweeted about eating out of the garbage - so it has to be true - Whoopi refused to let up, saying, "I know sometimes when you do stuff for TV and when you do stuff that's real - that's not real." Of all the bullshit statements that Whoopi lets fly, it's unclear why she picked this moment to call her co-star out, but the horrified look on Sherri's face is still priceless. Clip at left.

Earlier: BINge Eating: When You Eat The Garbage You've Tried To Throw Out

[New York, April 13. Image via INF]

• Scarlett Johansson blogged about tabloid accusations that she's losing weight in preparation for Iron Man 2. She writes: "If I were to lose 14 pounds, I'd have to part with both arms. And a foot."

• She says that while she is working out to fit into her superhero catsuit, reports that she's crash dieting are untrue. "I'm frustrated with the irresponsibility of tabloid media who sell the public ideas about what we should look like and how we should get there," she writes. "I would be absolutely mortified to discover that some 15-year-old girl in Kansas City read one of these 'articles' and decided she wasn't going to eat for a couple of weeks so she too could 'crash diet' and look like Scarlett Johansson." [The Huffington Post]
• Phil Spector was found guilty today of second-degree murder in his retrial for the death of actress Lana Clarkson. He faces a minimum of 18 years in prison. [Rolling Stone]
• After Easter services, Mel Gibson confirmed to a fellow parishioner that his wife of 28 years, Robyn Gibson has filed for divorce. Sources say they've actually been separated for the past three years. She is seeking joint custody of their 9-year-old son. [People]
• Mel Gibson has filed his response, and it only took a matter of hours. In documents available at the link, he says he and Robyn separated less than a month after his DUI arrest. He says the reason for divorce is "irreconcilable differences." [TMZ]
• Madonna emailed The Nation, a Malawian newspaper and said: "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and health care possible ... It's my hope that she, like David, will one day return to Malawi and help the people of their country." [CNN]
• Madonna has also released this photo of her cradling a sleeping Mercy in her arms. [The Daily Mail]
• Someone broke into Tila Tequila's house this morning and posted on her Twitter: "I just broke into her house, killed her and her dog. Logged onto Twitter to tell you guys. She was signed on already. Tila Tequila is dead." The real Tila then wrote that she's OK, but someone broke in, locked her dog in her trunk, and posted on her Twitter. [MSNBC, ONTD]
• Jon Eardley, the lawyer tried to free Britney Spears from her conservatorship, supposedly at her request, has asked a judge to require Brit to take time out of her Circus tour to testify in court. The conservatorship is currently trying to file a restraining order against Eardley. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan's new post-breakup tattoo ion her inner wrist is of a quote from Marilyn Monroe. It says: "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle," and is surrounded by stars.[People]
• Miley Cyrus went to lunch with her ex-boyfriend Nick Jonas and her current boyfriend Justin Gaston was nowhere to be found. [TMZ]
• Simon Cowell may leave American Idol when his contract runs out next year because he can't handle filming the show, as well as two reality shows in Britain. "I don't want to come over as whiney because I am very grateful that I have got these jobs," he said. "But there is a point where I am not sure we can keep this schedule up." [Access Hollywood]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were photographed leaving an IVF clinic in San Diego. [Perez Hilton]
• Artist Mark McGowan is putting on a show in which he'll reenacting the final hours of Jade Goody's life. [The Mirror]
• Here's video of Paul Rudd singing and dancing on Sesame Street while wearing a giant planet Earth costume. [Video Gum]
• Lo Bosworth says even though Lauren Conrad has left The Hills she thinks Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag could carry the show themselves. She adds: "[Lauren] hasn't filmed in weeks and she's really excited about that… I think she'll come back for special occasions and stuff, but we just don't know how many episodes she'll return for or if there will be another season. It's really just all up in the air." [Perez Hilton]
• Watch this preview clip of Spencer from tonight's episode and decide for yourself. [People]
• And here's another clip featuring Heidi telling Spencer that they need couple's therapy. [Perez Hilton]
• Lauren Conrad is going to guest star on Family Guy. The episode will air on May 3 and she will date Brian. [People]
• Mark Wahlberg and James Franco have joined the cast of the Tina Fey-Steve Carell film Date Night. [Variety]
• A New Moon insider says, "I hear that Kristen [Stewart] and Rob [Pattinson]'s 'teams' are having an emergency meeting," which apparently means that they are dating. [E!]
• Top Chef's Padma Lakshmi posed naked in Allure and exposed a scar on her arm that she got when she was 14. "I love it because it makes me a person who has an interesting past, and it reminds me that I can survive any pain," she says. [People]
• Jason Priestley and his wife Naomi Lowde are expecting their second child. [Us]
• Ralph Fiennes will star in "The Men at the Pru, which is co-written and co-directed by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. [UPI]
• "I feel like a tranny a lot of the time ... I don't know, I'm ... large? They put me in six-inch heels, and I tower over every man. I've got this long hair and lots of clothes and makeup on. I just feel really big a lot of the time, and I'm surrounded by a lot of tiny people. I feel like a man sometimes." - Blake Lively. [ONTD]
• Drew Barrymore says it took four to six hours to apply the aging makeup to play Little Edie Beale in Grey Gardens. Drew said: "My face suffered as a result. We ended up with skin issues I'd never had before because I developed an allergy to chemicals in isopropyl, the alcohol used in removing cosmetics. A constancy of prosthetics also created a sensitivity to adhesives, and our makeup people had to find alternatives." [The Daily Express]
• The executor of Dee Dee Ramone's estate has gone to court to stop publication of the book Poisoned Heart: I Married Dee Dee Ramone by the late bassist's first wife. [AP]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck has written book on eating gleuten free called The G Free Diet. She says: "My grandmother was giving me her meatball-and-sauce recipe ... When she got to the part about adding breadcrumbs, she looked up at me and said, 'Elisabeth, you can add whatever you want here.' I thought, if my Italian grandmother can understand being G-free, anyone can." [People]
• Annie Lennox had surgery to surgery to release a trapped nerve in her back six months ago and says she may never be able to perform again. "When I had the surgery, I didn't even know if I would be able to walk again properly. My foot is still not right — it is kind of permanently numb. And it is a strange thing to live with, really," said Lennox. "I have been doing physical therapy and I still don't know if it will ever be back to normal again. ... I don't think I could do a normal concert any more at this point in time." [UPI]
• Kanye West was a good sport about the South Park episode mocking him at first, but the joke may be getting old. He blogged: "SOUTH PARK pt. 3 I WAS AT CHEESECAKE FACTORY YESTERDAY AND THE MANAGER BROUGHT ME A PLATE OF FISH STICKS... (in a sarcastic tone) uuuuuuum, GREAT! : /" [The Atlantic]

Having just gotten a Twitter account this weekend, Elisabeth Hasselbeck was offended by his comment that people updating their friends, via the internet, on mundane aspects of their lives, isn't contributing to their own mental advancement. (But somehow talk radio does?) Anyway, Hasselbeck went after him, but really, I think she was just annoyed at him because she thought she had a conservative ally in O'Reilly, and wanted him to agree with her that President Obama's "Special Olympics" comment on The Tonight Show was glossed over by the liberal media. But Bill said that it's not an important political issue and he doesn't care.

• Barbara Walters may retire when her contract at ABC runs out this year. But who will put Elisabeth Hasselbeck in her place?! (Oh right, Whoopi.) [Perez Hilton]

• Oh, God. According to The National Enquirer Nadya Suleman told a friend, "when I was 19, I went to a gentleman's club and performed as a topless dancer. But I only did it one night. I quit when I found out I was expected to perform lap dances on the customers." [The Superficial]
• Nadya Suleman spent $1,500 on clothes for herself, unless Bebe Sport has released a line of baby clothes. [TMZ]
• An unnamed family friend said Natasha Richardson's family had her organs donated after her death last week. [Yahoo]
• The Broward County State Attorney's Office has opened an investigation into Anna Nicole Smith's death even thought they've "never had an open homicide investigation." [Perez Hilton]
• Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper, who says Vanessa was abusive. The worst incident: The housekeeper washed a new $700 blouse by accident and Vanessa made her stick her hand in a bag of dog poop to find the tag so she could deduct the cost from her salary. [TMZ]
• Another day, another anti-Samantha Ronson rant from Michael Lohan. He told a radio station he's "not going to stop until Samantha is out of her life," because she's "using [Lindsay Lohan] and just bringing her around the wrong places, let's face it, we all see it. No matter where they go in the world together or wherever Samantha drags Lindsay to a little DJ event, there's always a big blow up." [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson's crystal-encrusted lone glove will be displayed at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square this as a preview of the auction of 2,000 of his possessions next month. [The Star]
• Isaiah Washington is $100,000 behind on rent for his Los Angeles home and may be evicted. [People]
• Simon Cowell told Jay Leno he turned down a dinner invitation from President Obama. "He wanted to do eight, I was free at nine and we just didn't quite connect," said Cowell, in his usual jerky fasion. [Jossip]
• Prince Harry dyed his hair darker in an effort to throw off the paparazzi. He should try a pair of glasses, a la Clark Kent. [Jossip]
• Amy Winehouse says she won't let her husband Blake [Formerly Incarcerated] divorce her, even though they're both seeing other people. "I still love Blake and I want him to move into my new house with me - that was my plan all along," says Winehouse. "He's the male version of me and we're perfect for each other." [Yeeeah]
• Hannah Montana's Aunt Dolly, or as those of us over 13 may know her, Dolly Parton, is not gay. For years it's been rumored that her lifelong best friend Judy Ogle is actually her lover, but she's denying it again. "We're absolutely totally honest, open and comfortable with each other," says Parton. "We've been accused of being lovers. We do love each other, but we've never been like that." [Yahoo]
• A live-action movie based on the 1966 Mattel action figure Major Matt Mason is being developed. Tom Hanks will star. [Variety]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin of Plus 8 fame had dinner at Mr. Chow last night. It's almost like they wanted people to see them out on a date. [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashinan is suing Hustler Entertainment for making a porno spoof of her reality show called Keeping it Up For the KardASSians. [Yeeeah]
• We know this much is true: The band Spandau Ballet has reunited and they're going on tour. [Yahoo]
• A company is releasing three Star Trek-themed fragrances next month, "Boldly Go," "Red Shirt," and "Pon Faar" ... for the ladies. [The Star Tribune]

Like a lot of celebrity-designed lines on QVC, Elisabeth's line is affordable, with price points ranging from about $40 - $80. "Affordable" doesn't have to mean "cheap," but in this instance, it does. And I swear on my superficially-aborted fetuses that my opinion on this is in no way swayed by Elisabeth's opinions on anything, although admittedly, it's equally perfunctory.

Anyway, this is Elisabeth's modernized version of a nautical jacket ($59), and two different ways to wear it. She also designed both pairs of pants ($44, $49).

There are lots of animal prints in this line—like this cardigan ($59)—and three-quarter length tops and capri pants, because when she was designing the line, Elisabeth thought of something that Joy often says: "The wrists and ankles are the last to go."

Elisabeth calls this shirt ($39.94), "A little T-shirt with alotta flirt." Of the design, she said, "I thought, 'Heck, let's give it a try.'"

This pinstripe shirt ($48)—perfect for a Concerned Women for America meeting—has a metallic flair.

"I took animal to the next level," Elisabeth said of this sheer blouse ($54.54). She told Joy that "it'll let you survive any hot flash." Seriously, the jokes are writing themselves here.

She called this top ($39.84) the "anchor piece of the collection." Maybe it makes you look heavy, no matter your body type.

Sherri totally wants out of there.

Last night Elisabeth Hasselbeck was on The Tonight Show to promote her forthcoming book The G-Free Diet: A Gluten-Free Survival Guide. Jay, of course, asked her about her political views, pointing out that she's a "real conservative, not a Hollywood conservative," meaning that her conservatism goes beyond fiscal matters. The pro-lifer disagreed, saying that she mainly cares about fiscal matters, and that socially, she tries "not to get judge-y."

Well, we've seen her judge-y.

• Like that time she said that people get abortions for "superficial reasons." (You know, like when us gals just don't feel like getting fat.)
• And the time she refused to admit that Prop 8 was about anything but "democracy."
• Or how about her views on "sluts"?
• And how she doesn't masturbate but doesn't want her husband playing with himself, either.
• There's also that time that she tried to get a pair of teens to stop making out in the park, thinking it would lead to s-e-x.

Earlier: Elisabeth Hasselbeck's 25 Most Annoying Moments Of 2008

The audience sided with Ru. He posited that with Michelle Obama in the spotlight, there's no room in this country for peroxide blonde airheads. "It's okay for a woman to be smart again," he said. "We have a strong, incredible woman in the White House." Naturally, Hasselbeck had to quibble and nitpick and say that Laura Bush is strong, too… But when RuPaul asserted that history will prove that Michelle Obama is the strongest we've ever had, applause erupted. Clip above; fantasy in which a flawlessly madeup bewigged, high-heeled RuPaul kicks Hasselbeck's ass? Only in my head.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar added to the praise, but Clive is so damn level-headed! He said something about how any actor who walks around thinking he is a sex-symbol has problems. Then he continued to be very very hot. Clip at left.

When The View returned from holiday break in early January, I noticed that Elisabeth was wearing very blouse-y tops, and occasionally donning very wide belts that covered her whole midsection. She is really into working out, and got into shape (and on the cover of Fitness) not long after she gave birth to her last baby in the fall of 2007, so I thought it was weird that she wasn't wearing her typical form-fitting outfits. I IM'd Anna a couple of weeks ago and said that I thought that Elisabeth was pregnant, and this morning, as both of us watched the show from our respective apartments, she IM'd me immediately: "YOU WERE RIGHT." I feel sharp, validated, smug and super-human for no good reason... the same way I feel after I've managed to build a piece of Ikea furniture.

Whoopi — who, as you'll remember, threatened to beat up Coulter last week — referred to Coulter's left-hating persona as "an act," and went on to tell her that she was personally offended by Coulter's sentiments about single mothers in Hollywood. Sherri actually sounded like the most even-toned, well spoken woman of the bunch when she asked Coulter if she has an compassion and ever does anything to correct the "problems" she identifies (like talking to young girls about the importance of birth control), instead of just judging all the time. But instead, Ann wanted to complain that she was "attacked" in an earlier segment before she was on camera, alleging that Barbara read aloud from her book as though it were Mein Kampf. Ironic, since she's always going on about "victimization." Sherri put her back in her place, though, when she told her she didn't like how she was speaking to Babs. Joy's face during the entire thing, btw, was great.

Earlier: The View Meets The NY Times, Talks Cruise, Coulter & Cantone

However, we were impressed that when Elisabeth started gushing about the brilliance of budding fashionista Suri, Tom said that everyone thinks their own child is incredible, "but I feel that way about all three of our kids." Though the ladies of The View tried to find out whether 16-year-old Bella is dating yet, Tom didn't really answer and explained that the kids don't like him sharing details about their personal lives. He did talk about going to his son Connor's audition to play a young Will Smith in Seven Pounds, and said he's proud he won the role himself. Connor may indeed be a fine actor, but having Will Smith and Tom Cruise walk into the audition room with you can't hurt. Clip above.

• We gave you a particularly noxious crap email with a secret twist at the end!
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck is basically the worst person in the world. But at least she's occasionally entertaining!
• Wait, scratch that. Meme Roth, the anti-obesity activist, is actually the worst person in the world. She wants to take ice cream away from your child.
• Douchebags galore! Check out a new species of jerk called L'Homme Fatal.
• On the bright side, we learned how to bump it!
• Even brighter: best reality show moments of the year.
• So bright we must wear shades: the latest dirt on the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
• It's snowing here in old New York, so dress for yourselves this weekend, and have a good one!

Earlier: Obama Asks, We Answer: The 5 Stupidest Things Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Ever Said

The man who gave baby boy Adolf Hitler Campbell his name is indeed a racist, judging byhis tattoos. But in this country, he has the right to free speech and bad ideas about baby names. I agree with Elisabeth when she said on The View this morning that he is using his innocent kid to spread hate. But I also think that many Christians do the same thing with their children, for example, when they "educate" them about how homosexuality is wrong. Except when they do it, it's called evangelism. And when they vote on it, it's called democracy. Clip above.

Earlier: Etheridge Calls Elisabeth Out For Her Support Of Prop 8

On yesterday's episode of The View, she half-joked that she was pissed off that she didn't receive an invite to the White House Christmas party, an event she's been invited to before. She complained that she'd done a lot of the Republican party this year. Later in the day, she was contacted by the White House, saying that the invite must've gotten lost in the mail (always with the excuses, this administration), and she is indeed invited to the party. [TMZ]