• At a Lollapalooza gift suite, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz wouldn't pose with a KY Intimacy kit because Ashlee's dad "would murder them." In their defense? No one should be forced to posed with an "intimacy kit." It's just weird. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Designer Marc Jacobs is still talking about his "totally organic diet" and "two-hour exercise regime." Marc, you're thin now. We get it! [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
  
• Blind item! "Which mogul hates it when his boyfriends get along with his glamorous wife better than they do with him?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
  
• Gwen Stefani loves breastfeeding! You didn't need to know that, did you? [Page Six]
  
• Tracy Morgan calls his SCRAM anklet a "Lindsay Blowhan bracelet." Hahaha! [Page Six]
  
• Michael Lohan is accusing Dina Lohan of shacking up with a boozing boyfriend. None of this can be good for Lindsay's little brothers and sisters. [Page Six]
  
• Chris Rock is not the father of some woman's 13-year-old son. Yawn. [Page Six]

• Has Paris Hilton ditched her Bible and returned to her old (skanky) ways? She was seen wearing her undies to a Playboy Mansion party. Wait, was that whole demure, buttoned up image on Larry King an act??? [The Sun]
• When Britney arrived for her Allure photo shoot, she "took off her wig and then stripped down to the waist, for no apparent reason." Why are we not surprised? [The Sun]
• The Hills' Heidi Montag, about Lauren Conrad: "I never could be friends with a low-life like that." You know the deal: Pot, kettle. [TMZ, 3rd item]
• The Backstreet Boys have a new single. Have we fallen through a hole in the space-time continuum? [TMZ]
• Stars get political! Celebs on team Obama: Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, George Clooney, Tyra Banks and Jamie Foxx. Kelsey Grammer is on team Giuliani. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan's rehab facility has Jacuzzis, horseback riding and a helicopter. [Entertainment Tonight]
• I Dream Of Jeannie star Barbara Eden warns, "Drugs are sneaky." Uh, thanks, but who asked you? [Entertainment Tonight]
• Lily Allen's US work visa was taken at a Los Angeles airport. Oh no! Will she be able to make the MTV awards in September? [BBC News]
• Roseanne sex tape? No thanks! [Perez Hilton]
• Jane Seymour owns a manor in Bath, where the parties get so out of control that the local people are taking legal action. Hey, if we owned a manor in Bath, we'd party 24/7. [Daily Mail]

Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.