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deep thoughts
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Deep Thoughts
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One of the things that gives us penis mag envy every time we hit the newsstands is the fact that they aren't afraid to search far and wide for people to whom to pose questions more existential than "Can u dispense a worthless platitude about finding a boyfriend suitable for 36-pt Helvetica pls?" Sometimes, of course, for all their efforts, magazines like GQ get…well…not much. Click the pic for some deep thoughts from Gisele, Michael Caine, and Bob Schoff, that guy who fell headfirst into the septic tank last Christmas Eve and lived to tell the magazine what it was like to literally be in a "world of shit." (His photo's there too.) Taken together, there's probably a coherent philosophy in there. Albeit a boring one.
deep thoughts
cover lies
New Glamour: All About Guys! (Matthew McConaughey Thought They Said High)
Time again for "Cover Lies", in which editorial geniuses Maria-Mercedes Lara and Cheryl Campbell rewrite the cover lines of America's favorite magazines to more accurately reflect the stories within. But first, TRUE CONFESSION!! We semi-dug the "guys" issue of Glamour. There was a really touching story about how DJ A.M. got off crack, and another really touching interview about how Tracy Morgan got off booze (did that actually happen???) and a story we imagine would have been really touching had we read it about Mariane Pearl's optimism re: the Middle East peace process. There are hot black-and-white photos of James Marsden, Omar Epps, GAVIN ROSSDALE and Justin Chambers looking all serious and sensitive and crap, and a whole fashion spread with Pharrell, and blah blah blah Diddy and Ryan Reynolds! And how much of this shit does Glamour advertise on its cover? NADA. Whatever dudes, you asked for it... More »
(not so) deep thoughts
Condoms: Could Your Partner Be Screwing You Over?
While home in Atlanta last week, I was privy to a conversation involving friends of my parents debating over who should be supplying the condoms among college kids. "We told our son to always, always bring his own — you should never trust a girl's condoms. She could have tampered with them," one person said. (Which was exactly what some poor Yale freshmen were told in a prank pulled by the senior class this year.) I jumped in: "She could have tampered with them?! What about him? His condoms are probably old. And expired! And they've probably been in his wallet for the past 10 years." Said a third: "It's true, a guy wouldn't want to fuck with the condom — no way he would want to get a girl pregnant. Only a girl would try to get pregnant through deceptive condom usage...But on the other hand. Oh God. What idiot would trust a college-aged boy to bring the condoms?!" More »
deep thoughts
Why Kate Hudson And Matthew McConaughey Don't Bone
Well here's a fun thing: Glamour outsourced the authorship of its cover story to Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey this month. The subject is "why they would rather be friends than hook up." It's hard to say whether we learn precisely that, though. What we do learn: that if McConaughey "slapped ten asses" on the street he could pick Kate Hudson's out of an ass lineup. That the name of his production company is Just Keep Livin. That his personal motto is Just Keep Livin. That Just Keep Livin's first production is a movie called Surfer, Dude. And that Just Keep Livin has been making Surfer, Dude for seven years but production swung into high gear over the summer, as Kate explains.
KH: I'm sure a lot of readers will know about this movie because there's a lot of pictures of you in Malibu.Oh and it gets even more deep. More »MM: I heard that.
KH: In the tabloids, yeah. A lot of pictures with your shirt off.
MM: Yeah.
deep thoughts
How The Halliburton Rape Cases Explain Everything We Think About
"Is America establishing a culture of impunity among its contractors operating in areas of armed conflict?" That's the first line of a Harper's story on the Jamie Leigh Jones case — not to be brainfarted with the Jamie Lynn Spears case — now turning American attention to the problems created by outsourcing war to big companies. But take the last nine words away and you're left with pretty much everything that brings us the big horror hits on this site: culture of impunity. MySpace torture, Jeffrey Marsalis, Jeffrey Epstein, gray rape, the 19-year-old raped at Les Deux, the DrunkenStepfather...not gonna go on. It's probably a culture of impunity that emboldened Paul Janka to try and grope me the whole time I was in his apartment, and maybe I contributed to a culture of impunity when I blithely went about my business swatting him off and not, in the name of womanity, telling him off. More »
deep thoughts
Best Quotes From Ann "Ass Creamer" Coulter Over the Last "Saggysack" Year
Some site called 'Right Wing News' has compiled a list of "The Best Quotes From The Last Year Of Ann Coulter Columns." (We think they're totally serious!) Coulter quotables like "Democrats resolutely refuse to tell the poor the secret to not being poor: Keep your knees together until marriage," are pretty funny on their own, if you don't take the hate-mongering-harpie too seriously. But you know what's especially funny? When you plug the site's URL into Pornolize.com! Pornolize creates a replica of a website and inserts dirty words — and dirty words you've never heard of — into everything, in this case, turning Rudy Giuliani into Rudy "Cockboy" Giuliani and George Bush into George "Muffmuncher" Bush and creates absurd sentences like:Let us pause to note that Mrs. Clinton, if gamahucheed, would be the first woman to become president after her husband had sex with an intern in the Oval "Big Dick" Office.And: More »
our sicko culture
Michael Moore Makes Us See Paris In A Whole New Light. And Not Just The Health Care!
I went to see the Michael Moore health care opus Sicko on Wednesday night with Pillhead. We thought it would be fun if we took extra psychotropic drugs beforehand. Perhaps this is why we both emerged anxious that our waterproof mascara had malfunctioned. That night Michael Moore had been scheduled to appear on Larry King Live, which we probably would have skipped to drink beer, but as it happened his appearance had been pushed to accommodate Paris Hilton's exclusive post-release interview. Which, duh, we needed to watch. Was there symbolism? Could these two things be tenuously linked for a semi-convincingly thinky blog post?? More »
rag trade
Knockoffs Get Knocked Off
- Americans' chances at getting a fake Gucci bag or fake Chanel sunglasses just decreased, big time. Last night brought about one of the largest counterfeit busts in recent history, with 29 people arrested, $230 million in merchandise seized, and $1 million in cash found and collected. [WWD]
- We love J. Crew, but a line of apparel for dogs? Puh-leeze. [WWD, 2nd item]
- Jessica Simpson will debut her first fragrance in July 2008. And we suspect it will smell like a tasteful mixture of collagen, hair extensions, tears, and Nick Lachey and John Mayer's crotches, respectfully. [WWD, 1st item]
- Nike profits skyrocket 32%. Say thank you, China! [WSJ]
