One day when I have the energy (or am drunk), I really want to do an entire installment of GBU in the style of US Weekly's "Fashion Police." And so, when it came to Ashley Judd, I'd have some pun about either De-Lovely or Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. As it is, let's just say, congrats.


Naya Riveria is one of those women who can actually wear American Apparel's fashiony items, which is very misleading to the rest of the world.


Digging on Molly Sims' LBD, don't have the energy to object to shoes anymore.


On the fence about Mandy Moore's getup. On the one hand, I get it. On the other, that doesn't mean it doesn't age her. But on the third hand (work with me), maybe that's okay.


If it's November, dammit, you can wear tights. Debra Messing thinks so, too.


Ambassador Swanee Hunt is also an Ambassador of whatever land Snakes and Ladders comes form. Or, "shoots and ladders" as the sanitized version is known.


Are people getting sick of the slightly retro mini yet? Not TV host Catt Sadler.


In case there was any confusion, Tami Farrell removes it.


"Class act" is, of course, in the genes for Eva Amurri. (We're ignoring The Banger Sisters.)


PSI's Kate Roberts has a lot going on. A multi-tasker, even.


Ellen Burstyn works flowing robes like no one else.

[Images via Getty]

Rose Byrne's "Glinda" special is straight-up beautiful.


Also in the fairy princess camp: a radiant Drew Barrymore.


I don't remember the last time Jennifer Love Hewitt looked so simply pretty on the red carpet.


Lovely to see Christina Hendricks showcasing her bombshell figure in something simple.


Kate Walsh departs from her usual sleek lines with a gorgeous, subtle Grecian number.


Seriously digging Alex Borstein's fun deco ensemble.


Leighton Meester's is definitely one of the top 3 looks of the evening.
[Images via Getty]


Maybe not my favorite look of the evening, but Kim Kardashian is still glam, and gorgeous.


It's always nice to see someone do sleeves on the red carpet - especially when the results are as elegant as Elizabeth Perkins'.


Lindsay Price took a gamble on a basically safe red carpet; I think it paid off.


The tricky gowns are the ones that aren't hideous or gorgeous, but kind of on the fence. I'd put this Jessica McClintock-y number in a "Meh" category if there was one - but the fit and Vanessa's elan take it into positive territory.


Loving Holly Hunter's juxtaposition of geometric and soft.


Speaking of geometric: I'm guessing January Jones' bold gown will be somewhat polarizing; I love it.


Jennifer Carpenter's old-Hollywood exercise in intricacy is one of the few cases when you don't wince to think of so much handwork going into something disappointing.


Alicia Witt's feathered friend is slightly surreal - but not over-the-top.


If anyone can do straight-up 80's power red, it's Sigourney Weaver.


Chloe Sevigny's dress may well be my favorite of the entire evening. Also, decade.


Jane Krakowski's was one of the best of the many disco-inflected numbers.


As was Kaley Cooco's human Oscar.


Cherry Jones has the height for these statuesque lines.


Kourtney Kardashian looks more elegant and naturally beautiful in maternity than I've ever seen her.


Heidi Klum, of course, wrote the book.


Kat Deeley's natural (which, yes, obvioulsy took 4 hours) hair and makeup are a stunning counterpoint to her goddessy gown.


Sure she's been more glam, but I dig how low-key Sally Field kept it.


While I've yet to see a red-carpet look that adequately conveys Mindy Kaling's awesome, I'd say this playful, pretty frock is a definite "good." Even if it looks painful.


If you have to do "Reagan-era," Debra Messing shows how.


Elisabeth Moss' regal situation is almost too busy - I think it's the rich, subtle color that keeps it in bounds.


Sandra Oh overcomes this unfortunate belt by the skin of her sequins.


As you can see, the metallics were totally out of control - but Mariska's not Jayne Mansfield's daughter for nothin'.


Tina Fey nails it. That is all.


I like Mila Kunis' slightly unexpected wine tasting: you?


And why was Mary-Louise Parker the only one with the cajones for a mini?


Jennifer Westfeldt flirts with dowdiness - it's her radiant smile that saves her.


Amy Poehler: adorable.


Ginnifer Goodwin's gown: youthful, gorgeous, apparently magic.


Julia Louis-Dreyfus knows what works for her and doesn't deviate.

The Good:
Debra Messing's straight-up bombshell could not be more fab.


Evan Rachel Wood's whole "persona" thing is starting to chafe, but hey, she does look Audrey-lovely!


Restaurant doyenne Gayle Greene gets points for sheer chutzpah, eccentricity, accessories.


Susie Essman, apparently dancing the Hora, looks, as eBay would call it, "boho chic,"


Cheryl Hines is understated and chic in LBD.


The Bad:
Uma Thurman channels Charlie Chaplin, almost pulls it off.


MK is apparently of the "if it's not broke" school. "It" in this case is "depressive vagrant."


Melissa Leo channels Baby Jane. Always/never a good idea.


I sometimes try to imagine the moment in which someone like Amy Mullins a)selects these garments in the store and b)finds them in her closet and decides they exemplify who she wants to be for an evening.


Camille Solari, like us, seems to have a possible penchant for last-minute Forever21 shopping!


What Say You?
Patricia Clarkson : blue heaven, or Stevie nix?


The Ugly:
Nancy La Scala is either a visionary...or wearing a really unfortunate top.

[Images via Getty]

• Indian police say they have not found any evidence to support allegations that Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali's dad tried to sell her. [The Guardian, People]

• Three-year-old Mercy James is currently under the care of a nanny provided by Madonna. The director of the orphanage where the girl was staying says, "As Mercy's legal guardian, I authorize where she goes. She is staying with Madonna's people as a visitor. There is nothing wrong with that." [The Daily Express]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, British singer Marilyn is confirming long-standing rumors that he had a relationship with Gavin Rossdale in the '90s. "We were together five years, but it felt like 40," said Marilyn. [Perez Hilton]
• Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles is responding to the alleged (and now debunked) recording of his daughter singing off-key on The Today Show saying, "If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing 'America the Beautiful' and 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce's vocal ability, they've gotta be an idiot. At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." [TMZ]
• Miss California Carrie Prejean's grandmother, Jeanette Coppola, says of Perez Hilton, "I don't know why that gay guy Perez was even judging a contest with a bunch of girls. That doesn't make any sense. He should be judging a Chippendale's contest." Perez responded: "Dear Jeanette, I was judging that contest because I am an American. I am a gay American. I am a Latino American. And I am an American who knows a thing or two about women in the spotlight." [The L.A. Times]
• Amy Winehouse's mother, Janis, says that Amy's ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil is trying to get a bigger divorce settlement. "It sounds like his hands are outstretched not only for him, but for this person he's made pregnant. To me it seems like a case of 'lets get our hands out for the money'," says Janis. [The Daily Express]
• Is it a coincidence that Audrey Tautou is starring in a new film about Coco Chanel and is also taking over for Nicole Kidman as spokeswoman for Chanel No. 5? [Yahoo]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger may have a cameo in Terminator Salvation. [CNN]
• John Mayer is dating model/aspiring actress Scheana Marie Jancan, who is 23. [Star]
• This week's SNL host Justin Timberlake says he loves the show so much, "I would go as far to say if I didn't have a career that I felt so extremely lucky to have, I would see if I could get cast on the show." [USA Today]
• Denise Richards made a video for FunnyOrDie about how much everyone loves her "fun bags." It's like the Lindsay Lohan FOD video, with an extra dash of desperation. [Funny Or Die]
• OMG, Twilight fans: Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson went to the grocery store and a fellow shopper says they were holding hands. [E!]
• Chris Cornell says he likes Twitter because, "It's actually created an environment where I can answer simple questions that someone's probably had forever. And I don't mind answering them. And I can actually have conversations with fans that are quick, but still more meaningful than the typical situations you're put into. I've really liked it." [CNN]
• Shots were fired at Duane Chapman, better known as Dog the Bounty Hunter and a bail bondsmen when they tried to apprehend a Colorado man charged with attempted murder. No one was injured. [AP]
• A literary agency is suing Prince because he allegedly backed out of a book deal at the last minute and went behind their backs with another agency. [TMZ]
• Vanessa Hudgens will star in the film Beastly, an update of Beauty and the Beast. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Officials in Urbana, Ill. have decided to honor film critic Roger Ebert by putting a bronze plaque on the sidewalk in front of his childhood home. [AP]
• The website TheDirty.com posted pictures of Real Housewives star Gretchen Rossi riding topless in the passenger seat of a car. Previously, they posted compromising bathroom pictures. Now she's getting the police involved. [TMZ]
• Simon Cowell may quit American Idol when his contract runs out next year to start a U.S. version of the U.K. show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Vivica A. Fox, host of The Cougar says she is currently single. "I am single right now," she says. "I am a different breed of chick. I like to go by the beat of my own drum. I haven't found a man that I want to answer to." [People]
• Salma Hayek and her husband François-Henri Pinault are holding a wedding celebration this weekend in Venice and guest including Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz have already arrived in Italy. [E!]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt says of dating co-star and long-time friend Jamie Kennedy, "I've heard about it – about being friends with somebody and it turns into something else and I've never really done that before and it's been great. He's hilarious and when you're with somebody funny, they're always funny and it's just great." [People]
• Billy Corgan, the only remaining member of The Smashing Pumpkins, is planning to charge subscribers $40 for 12 weekly 25-minute videos of him working in the studio. [The Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman says of the persistent rumors that he is gay, "I'd be happy to go and deny it, because I'm not. But by denying it, I'm saying there is something shameful about it, and there isn't anything shameful." [Parade]
• The Jonas Brothers will host Fox's Teen Choice 2009 Awards on August 11. [E!]
• Mariska Hartigay says she's feeling "Sooooo much better," since being hospitalized with a collapsed lung. "I've turned the corner and I'm feeling great. Really great," she said. [E!]
• Oh no! Mickey Rourke says he's going to slap Joel McHale, host of The Soup, in the face for making a joke about his late dog Loki. Hopefully Lou the chihuahua will help them work this out. [E!]
• Debra Messing said she met Robert De Niro at an audition. "My first film callback was for Casino, for the Sharon Stone role. I was 24 and had no money and was in school," she explained. "And so I went to an uptown hair place and said, ‘Make me look like Ivana Trump.' And I wore this very fancy - what I thought was a very fancy - black jumpsuit, and I was all ready to go, and I walked in and [De Niro] looked at me, and he's like, ‘What? You goin' to a prom?'" [NY Magazine]
• British singer Billy Bragg is criticizing a proposed EU law to double music copyright to 95 years saying, "This legislation offers the multinational record corporations a potential windfall of the size of the invention of the CD." [Yahoo]
• Kieran Culkin says he threw himself into work to try to deal with the death of his sister Dakota in December. "It's been a rough couple of months. I won't speak for anyone else, but I'm doing okay," he said. "That's the point of doing this interview and stuff. For a little while there, I wasn't going to do any press. I wasn't going to do Sundance. This was all a sort of getting-out-of-bed-and-start-walking thing." [The Daily Express]
• In a very lengthy interview Rosie O'Donnell talks about her children attending a Waldorf School, which involves signing a contract that they won't watch TV or use the computer. "I do it because I didn't have parents - my mother died and my father wasn't home. I had no one to talk to," she says. "I would much rather play rummy with my parent than sit in front of a video game, and when you don't have the TV as an option, you'd be surprised at how much you can interact with your own kids." [Just Jared]

The Good:
Gayle King does polished, classic.


Ivanka Trump looks pristine, like she's not prone to dripping cocktail sauce on herself. Unlike some of us.


Edie Falco says, referring to her new hospital show, that she's not afraid of the sight of blood. Which makes me want to say something about the color of her dress. Which is nice.


Diane von Furstenberg, en plein forme.


Debra Messing has kinda been rocking the classics of late. The shoes? I think she works.


I'm not normally a fan of red and black combos, but Tory Burch provides a pretty twist on classic glam.


I love how retro and intellectual and furtive both John Turturro and Katherine Borowitz look!


For those who don't know, Fran Lebowitz is a famed wit, New York fixture, Graydon Carter crony, and perennial on VF's "best-dressed list" because of her unflagging commitment to well-tailored menswear. Anyway, she's awesome.


The Bad:


Publicist Peggy Siegal's five different elements might have worked on their own, but in combo? The effect is somewhat eccentric.

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
Not only do I love Debra Messing's demure, day-perfect frock, I covet it.


Uma Thurman's looking slightly Pride and Prejudice (and, obvs, zombies), but she's got the height to work it.


I'm concerned that Sammi Hanratty is being forced to be here - or at least past her bedtime - judging by her expression. But her getup is charming and age-appropriate.


Liya Kebede is stunning. Oh yeah, her dress ain't bad, either.


The Bad:
Aww, I miss Emme! Remember Fashion Emergency? Even then, though, she had a propensity for sartorial oddities, like, say this 80's-style Smoking-leggings combo.


I applaud Deborah Roberts for doing something different, but the Lisa Frank animalia is problematic!


The Cleavage:
Generally speaking, when we're at family events, we like to keep our cleavage under wraps. Lynn Whitfield disagrees.


Hoo boy! Tracy Anderson has just seriously upped the ante.

[Images via Getty]

• Gossipeuse Janet Charlton claims Jennifer Hudson is knocked up. JHud is currently on tour; her fiancé, "Punk" from I Love New York, is training to become a professional wrestler. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

• Amy Winehouse's horribly burned leg is due to a scalding pasta water incident. They tried to make me cook fusilli… [The Sun]
• Rihanna went out clubbing in L.A. and danced and flirted with basketball star Baron Davis. Apparently the DJ said something like Chris Brown should get his ass kicked; the whole crowd cheered — Rihanna included. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Madonna bring Mercy home? Three judges on Malawi's Supreme Court of Appeal will decide on May 4. [The Sun]
• Michelle Rodriguez is a pretty awesome bridesmaid! She broke up a bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was "fat and had a small dick." Then when the dude wanted a lady from the bridal party to kneel for him, Michelle said: "That's bullshit. He should be kneeling for her; this is a bachelorette party." Next? "As the stripper began gyrating and pushing his crotch into the bride-to-be's face, Rodriguez yelled, 'This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me.' She left in a huff." [Page Six]
• Poor Ann Curry is being sent to both Iraq and Afghanistan war zones. Sarah Haskins was right; the Today show is trying to kill her. [AP]
• Lady GaGa has a new boyfriend and his name is Speedy. Of course. [In Touch]
• Jennifer Garner has been seeing a sex counselor, so she can learn to please her man. A source says: "Ben's great, but he can be very insecure. He likes Jen to play the devoted wife all the time." So Jen sees Dr. Holly Hein for tips of keeping the romance alive and dealing with Ben's "need for attention." "Jennifer doesn't want to lose him. She's in this for the long haul." [Star]
• Here's video of Jen Garner and Matthew McConaughey eating cupcakes while promoting Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past. Warning: It's incredibly dull. [E!]
• The mother and stepmother of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali had a "catfight" in the street yesterday. In Mumbai, India. And there are pictures in this UK paper. Seriously, what the hell is going on with this poor child? [The Sun]
• Now that singing sensation Susan Boyle is suddenly famous, she has purchased a new fence to surround her house and get some goddamn privacy. [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle's former singing teacher is worried the overnight sensation will damage her voice. [Telegraph]
• Simon Cowell on Susan Boyle: "It had been a long day in Scotland. We'd seen no talent at all. All I knew about her was a name on a sheet of paper. She came out and she looked a bit odd, and the dress looked odd. I gave her five seconds at most. But then she started singing, and within two seconds everything changed." [NY Times]
• Is Paula Abdul going to get up out of her judge's chair and perform on American Idol? She's been dropping hints! [LA Times]
• An "insider" says John "The Player" Mayer has been "recording in a studio and coming on to almost every woman in the vicinity." Plus! He "goes on and on… about how clingy and needy Jen is." Apparently The Player claims Jen Aniston was super emotionally dependent, which is maybe what an immature commitmentphobe might say, so who knows. [MSNBC]
• The US Army is on Twitter — clearly they have nothing better to do — and they want to knock Ashton Kutcher out of the top spot. We're still at war, right? [NY Daily News]
• There is "intense puppy-proofing" going on at the White House, thanks to Bo Obama. [NY Daily News]
• Girls, you know you better watch out: Lauryn Hill will headline the Stockholm Jazz Festival in July. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Debra Messing will be back at NBC with an untitled comedy; the plot? She'll play a laid-off CEO who "is as ill-prepared to be a full-time wife and mother as her husband is to provide for the family." Hilar! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• A snapshot for the ages: M.I.A., Kanye West, Aziz Ansari and Zoe Kravitz. [The Life Files]
• David Blaine has worked his magic on French model Alizee Guinochet; they're engaged. [Page Six]
• How much would you pay to have lunch with Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones? Proceeds go to charity… [Page Six]
• Oksana Pochepa, who still claims she is the mystery girl in Mel Gibson's life, keeps a sex diary "with ratings for all her men." This is a combo of slut-shaming and possible lies; kudos to the paper for keeping it classy! [The Sun]
• Perez Hilton went to Criss Angel's show in Las Vegas and Tweeted that it sucked; Criss Angel made and announcement from the stage, saying "We have the world's biggest douchebag asshole in the house!" Now Cirque production company has apologized to Perez but Criss Angel has not. And writing gossip about Perez makes the brain ache. [LVR, LA Times]
• Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg will star in The Fighter, the tale of Boston boxer "Irish" Mickey Ward and his half-brother Dicky Eklund. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe was on Letterman talking about trying to save Steve Irwin's wildlife reserve — and block a mining operation — in Australia. [News.com.au]
• A lawsuit has been filed against Stephenie Meyer by a former friend who claims Meyer stole her vampire idea. But don't worry, Twihards, it won't halt production of New Moon. Sparkly vampires and Native American werewolves for everyone. [MSNBC Scoop]
• We've heard this before, but here it is again: Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford may replace Zac Efron in the Footloose remake. Possibly because he has the same sideswept haircut? [Mirror]
• This report claims Jessica Biel is so good at pole dancing in her new flick Powder Blue, she's a "natural born stripper." [NY Daily News]
• Amber Tamblyn says that since her new show The Unusuals is shot on location in New York, in between shoots, cast members hit local stores and shop: "No one goes back to their trailers." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Uh-oh: The president of Oprah Winfrey's cable network — due to launch next year — resigned yesterday. [LA Times]
• Woody Allen refused to take park in an "I Love New York" ad campaign, maybe because NYC has so many American Apparels? [NY Daily News]
• With lyrics about suffering and chains, the new Depeche Mode album is "like one long infommercial for B&D." But: "all this would seem creepy, instead of sexy, if the music weren't so hot." [NY Daily News]
• The Cure closed the Coachella festival, but organizers had to pull the plug on the band after 2 1/2 hours: "By the third encore, singer-guitarist Robert Smith informed the remaining audience that he was told he could do only one song but played three anyway. The final number, "Boys Don't Cry," turned into a sing-along as the video screen went dark and the sound system began to power down." [Reuters]
• Blind item: "Which rehabbed actor is back on the sauce? He just can't keep his hands off the booze when he's in L.A.!" [Gatecrasher]
• "You get the financing together and I'll work on the script... I would say [Elaine would] just be getting out of prison." — Julia Louis-Dreyfus on doing a Seinfeld movie. [Daily Express]
• "I most admire Matt Damon and Michael J Fox. I just saw Rounders and it just reminds me. Matt Damon is someone who I want to be. I just want to make his smart choices." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "We definitely don't receive a $100,000 to show up at nightclubs anymore. So that's one huge life-changing difference. It makes me miss the old days, back when Paris Hilton and these fools were cashing in like a gold rush every year." — Spencer Pratt, on how the economy is affecting his life. [LAist]
• "Go to an area where the unemployment rate is the best. Go into a field that you love, but at the same time, that has potential. So many people study the wrong things, they go into the wrong fields, and no matter what they do, it's always going to be a battle throughout life. So find a great area, even if it means that you have to move your family. Find a great area, and a business that works." — Donald Trump's advice for those fired or laid-off. [Time] 
 

• "I lead such a boring life, nobody pays attention... and if somebody does take a picture, it's like I'm eating a burrito, in my sweats, and my mouth is open. It's just — I'm kind of a disgusting, boring person so nobody really pays attention!" — Anna Faris. [Mirror]
• "I don't want to get bored, and I don't want the audience to get bored." — Simon Cowell, on whether next season is his last on American Idol. [NY Times]
• "I had to say it as if it was coming to me very easily. I had to research some of [the words] because the acting coach I worked with told me if I really understood what I was talking about, it would come through a little more true." — Lauren Conrad, on her role on Family Guy, which required her to recite "a lot of facts and a lot of big words." [WaPo]

[San Diego, April 10. Image via Getty.]

• Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight was in a three-car crash yesterday. He was not injured, but two other people were taken to the hospital by ambulance. [LA Times]

• The President Of The United States, Barack Obama, was on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno last night. He brought lulz (More later). [NY Daily News]
• Barack Obama made a joke about the Special Olympics and for that he is sorry. [NY Daily News]
• Here's a picture of Chris Brown getting off of a private jet and riding a bike around on the tarmac like he's having the time of his life. Raise your hand if it makes you feel stabby. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is narrating a children's book. Cue the ZOMG SHE WANTS BABIEZ headlines. [Gatecrasher]
• Are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel on a fast train to Splitsville? [Perez, Chicago Sun-Times]
• When Beyoncé stopped at Patricia Field the other day, she spent $11,000 in 20 minutes. How come didn't get us anything? [Page Six]
• It's a big weekend at the box office, with lots of stars: Nicolas Cage, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. Plus, Amy Adams's Sunshine Cleaning will move into additional theaters. What to see? [Reuters]
• "Five Reasons Julia Roberts Is Too Old (or Not)." Wait, what? [E!]
• This article asks "Is John Hamburg (the writer/director of I Love You Man) The New Judd Apatow?" [LA Times]
• Actual headline: "Miley Cyrus Shakes Her Ass For Paps." And it's not on Perez! [E!]
• For some reason there is a feud between Chris Jericho and Mickey Rourke. Jericho says when Rourke comes to Wrestlemania, he will "get out of the ring, walk over to Mickey, and slap him in the face." Lame. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is pregnant on The Office. [E!]
• Speaking of The Office, did you dig Idris Elba? He has a Twitter. [EW]
• A Sheryl Crow/Stevie Nicks tour? Maybe! [Gatecrasher]
• There's a new Facebook group called UCLA Students Against James Franco as Commencement Speaker. It's jut mean! [E!]
• Dane Cook's half-brother and former business manager was indicted Thursday on eight counts of larceny; he'd been funneling millions from Cook's business accounts. No joke there. [E!]
• Real Housewives Of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi was spotted making out with Slade Smiley. [TMZ]
• Nick Lachey pitched a reality show to MTV and they liked it! Taking The Stage is about kids at a performing arts school (his alma mater in Cincinnati). Kinda like Fame, if you're old enough to remember hot lunch. [LA Times]
• Debra Messing is named in a lawsuit involving a traffic accident in which her car struck a police officer, even though Messing wasn't driving the car. [TMZ]
• The cast of the new Star Trek flick is heading to Australia; the movie will make its world premiere at the Sydney Opera House on April 7. No word if that guy with the Kirk chair will get to go. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Not only is Vanessa Williams awesome on Ugly Betty, she is working on a new album. "I had been wanting to do a Latin-flavored album since I played a ballroom dancer in the (salsa) movie Dance With Me," Williams says. [USA Today]
• Ooh, Elle Macpherson on TV! The CW show is called Beautiful Life, and she'll okay the owner of a modeling agency, naturally. [Reuters]
• Hmm, Mary J. Blige is joining the cast if the next Tyler Perry movie. Love her; not sure about him. [Reuters]
• Gossip Girl fans: Check out this new clip that's popped up: Chuck vs. Dorota! [People]
• Whitney Port and actor Robert Buckley were seen making out all over Miami. Hopefully someday soon we can stop thinking about these semi-famous [E!]
• There is a new romcom in the works called Merman. Yes, it is about a man who is half fish. He "comes to land so he can win back his mermaid fiance, who has left him for a real man." I'm not lying when I say it's produced by the dude who brought you Splash. [EW, Variety]
• Tara Reid has a job! She's been cast in an untitled horror film, in which she will play a mother whose family is terrorized by an unsees presence. [Variety]
• Former Soul Train host Don Cornelius has been sentenced to three years probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor spousal battery. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which engaged young couple shocked an entire film crew when they were caught having sex on set?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item: "Which hip-hop fashion team is taking more credit than it deserves? While most designers acknowledge their assistants do much of the work, this up-and-coming pair accept kudos but never mention the staff in the back who actually make it happen." [Page Six]
• "I remember a performance of The Fantasticks where a mom brought a teenage son with Tourette's syndrome to the show. It was explained to me that because he liked me a lot, it became especially difficult for him to control his outbursts when I came on stage. Every time I said or sang anything, he would snort, howl or bellow some expletive about bodily functions or female anatomy, [and drop] F-bombs." — Kristin Chenoweth, in her memoir, A Little Bit Wicked. [Page Six]
• "I like all the Wii games. Love Guitar Hero. Growing up, I liked Tetris. I even like BrickBreaker on the BlackBerry. [My first console was] a Nintendo. I would play Super Mario Bros. We weren't supposed to play it after nine o'clock, and I would sneak and play all night. I loved it." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• "I had my tonsils taken out [at age 13], and they gave me liquid Vicodin. I found, when I take this, people like me. I'm having fun, I'm not getting picked on. It became a confidence thing." — Kelly Osbourne, who says she is finally completely clean after a month in rehab. [People]
• "I am shirtless and I have back hair in Observe And Report, and it's glorious. They did have me shave my back for Knocked Up. Judd Apatow said, 'People are not ready for a hairy back in a sex scene. We're just not there yet as a society.'" — Seth Rogen. [Page Six]

What Say You?
Rose McGowan: pretty ballerina or Degas-ting?


Anastacia: Cool and casual, or fussy fail?


Salma Hayek: Cute or costume?


Anil Kapoor's Regis special: sharp, or "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat?"


The Ugly:
No ambiguity to the hideosity of Debra Messing's leather apron!

[Images via Getty]

• Freida Pinto looks fantastic on the March cover of Vogue India. [ONTD]

• Stella McCartney and Net-a-porter.com have announced the designer will produce a capsule summer collection exclusively for the e-tailer. [WWD]
• Coco Rocha posted an excerpt from her E! Canada show about New York fashion week to her blog. She goes on a fitting at Michael Kors, and then has an odd conversation with Heidi Klum about pole dancing. [OhSoCoco]
• Mad Men costume designer Janie Bryant shares a favorite designer with Edina Monsoon. She still can't talk about her potential namesake line, however. [The Cut]
• The rumor that Debra Messing and Cameron Diaz dumped Rachel Zoe as a stylist isn't true, say Debra Messing, Cameron Diaz, and Rachel Zoe. Phew. [People]
• Zoe also still styles Anne Hathaway, whose spectacular art deco-looking Oscars dress was Armani Privé. [USA Today]
• And everyone approved of Kate Winslet's Yves Saint Laurent — except, that is, for her daughter Mia, who objected to the fact that it was gray. [Yahoo! News]
• A coda to all this talk of hats coming back (or not) might be provided by an exhibition, curated by milliner Stephen Jones, at the Victoria and Albert Museum in London. Called Hats: An Anthology by Stephen Jones, it was culled from over 7,000 hats in the museum's collection, including the hat Cecil Beaton made for Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, Darth Vader's mask, and, appropriately enough, a bonnet and a top hat from Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, respectively. [Style.com]
• Rodarte's response to the economic situation? Not making pants. "We don't sell our pants anyway," said Kate Mulleavy at a panel in Los Angeles — so as a cost-cutting measure, they didn't even design any for this fall. At the same event, Adriano Goldschmied, who does make pants — jeans that cost $200, to be precise — said in the downturn, luxury will return to its true, dreamy essence. "Even if [customers] can't afford it, at least you give them a dream. A dream, in my opinion, is the engine for our work." Of course, if dreaming is all your customers do, you're in trouble. [WWD]
• Former fashion editor Nonnie Moore died at 87 in Manhattan. Moore, who was the fashion director of Mademoiselle, Harper's Bazaar, and GQ during the 1970s and '80s, was an early promoter of Perry Ellis and Issey Miyake. [NY Times]
• Coach announced plans to cut 10% of its US corporate workforce. [WWD]
• All those 85% off sales over the winter were, unsurprisingly, harbingers of really bad quarterly results: Saks joins Nordstrom and other department stores in reporting sharp declines in sales for the quarter ended January 31. Same-store sales at Saks Fifth Avenue fell 15.3% in the period (in the fourth quarter of 07, same-store sales grew by 9%). All told, the retailer lost $98.75 million dollars during the quarter. [NY Times]
• Speaking of Nordstrom, it's making money — or at least stopping the losses — any way it can. Which includes sneaking up the finance rates on its store cards. And lowering its prices. I'd call that about a draw from the consumer's perspective. [WSJ]
• Someone who's expanding in this market is H&M. The fast fashion chain expects to open its first store in South Korea in the spring of 2010. [WWD]
• Could Tommy Hilfiger's new wife Dee Ocleppo be pregnant? [Page Six]

The Good:
Jennie Garth is Jean Harlow glam.


Love, love, love Melissa George's weird, diaphanous exercise in fab.


Debra Messing obviously just indulged her inner five-year-old here.


By the by, Tichina Arnold's gown has a lovely draped back.


Kristin Davis looks southern lady lovely.


How gorgeous a wedding gown would Emmanuelle Chriqui's be?


If you wanna do slinky, Tricia Helfer shows how it's done.


Taraji P. Henson does it again. We'll have what she's having!


The Bad:
We get it, Eric Daman: you're a dissipated dandy in the tradition of Baudelaire.


I think I have my cap and gown somewhere. Maybe, like Joan Bergin, I should bedazzle it and wear it out!


Wow, Lori Loughlin's gown should not be shown to epileptics! Or, for that matter, anyone else.

[Images via Getty]

[Beverly Hills, CA. January 12. Image via Getty.]

The Good:
Marisa Tomei does bombshell like nobody's business.


Can you say "regal?"


Hey, remember this look from the runways? Debra Messing takes it to reality without a ripple.


I guess this is part of Reese's "new look," but she looks as cleanly chic as always.


Wearying of the bandage dress, but if you gotta do it, Jessica Stroup shows how: Leger can innovate!


Dakota Fanning is proving to have a knack for age-appropriate and flattering looks at an age when a lot of young stars falter. How perfect is this color?


Jennie Garth looks demure in retro black, great accessories.


You feel like Robin Tunney just had this DVF in her closet: cute and recession-appropriate!


Malin Akerman is so cute and sassy; this casual dress is, too.




The Bad:
We came down hard on poor Nikki Cox earlier this week, but it must be said: the woman forgot her pants.


Stars tend to claim this sort of thing is "fun." I hope Kate's having some, cause we're certainly not!


Jordin Sparks looks like a professional gift-wrap job gone horribly awry.


So, AnnaLynne McCord demonstrates what's problematic about the bandage dress: for the most part, it feels as soulless and conveyor-belt as a Kate Spade bag.


Looks like these other two onlookers are also snarking on Paula Marshall's weird tap shoes.


Jennifer Morrison: the Austrian government called. They want their Klimt back.


Teri Hatcher is eaten by a sinister bow monster wit evil ninja powers.


On the one hand, these soft colors are nice on Jewel. On the other, doesn't it look like a cheap summer dress?


Paris Hilton's vaguely grotesque babydoll kind of reminds me of the accordian-pleated dress Tib wears to dance the "Baby Dance." You know, when Betsy and Tacy premiere the "Cat Duet?"

[Images via Getty]

• Jennifer Aniston on John Mayer: "He's a rare one. He is extraordinary and it is wonderful to watch him... the way his brain works and the way he thinks thoughts... it's beautiful." Is this the same John Mayer we know? [Mirror, The Sun]
• Remember how Jennifer Aniston had dinner with Gerard Butler? They're in negotiations to star in an "untitled bounty hunter project" from Columbia pictures. [Variety]
• While the world crumbles all around us, Katie Holmes has helped the Broadway show All My Sons turn a profit. She's box-office gold! Says a source: "Of course, it's not just her, it's [costars] John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest, but no one will say that." [E!]
• Oh, dear: Blake Fielder Civil gave Amy Winehouse drugs when he visited her in the hospital. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says: "We're so happy he's back in jail. We hope he's in there for a long time. We're all so furious with Blake for what he's done to Amy." [Mirror]
• What's this? Amy is working on a new album? And using her lyrics to trash her "junkie jailbird hubby"? This could be good. [Mirror]

• Jessica Biel plays a stripper in a flick called Powder Blue and really, uh, commits. Click to see video of homegirl working the pole in a strappy leather getup. Also, this movie looks like it will break your heart. [ONTD]
• Mariah Carey was seen leaving the gynecologist's office in L.A., so she must be knocked up. [Mirror]
• PETA is pissed again, this time because Britney Spears used cruelly trained lions and elephants in her "Circus" video. [PETA]
• Hmm, Britney is requiring all of her backup dancers take drug tests? In an effort to keep her away from negative influences? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jay Leno is getting a prime time show on NBC, at 10 o'clock. It won't be the Tonight Show, because that will still come on at 11:35, and the new host will be Conan O'Brien. But Leno's new show may have some elements of the Tonight Show, like "Jay Walking" and the monologue. So how will it be different? We'll have to wait and see. [NY Times]
• This was in Midweek Madness but here it is again: Tom Brady and Gisele are planning a wedding in Costa Rica. And Kate Moss is pregnant. Congrats all around? [NY Mag]
• Kate Moss is supposedly making a "big" announcement next week. [The Sun]
• Nicole Kidman is no longer the highest paid actress in Hollywood, probably because her films never made that much. Writes Hadley Freedman: "This is known as Aniston's Law: just because an actress makes for an appealing magazine cover does not mean that people want to see them act." [Guardian]
• Double divorces in the Ritchie family: Guy's brother is splitting from his wife; she claims he "fell into a spiral of heavy drinking brought on by his champagne lifestyle." [Daily Mail]
• Even though Madonna won a judgment against The Mail on Sunday for publishing wedding photos, the battle isn't over: The pix were stolen from her Beverly Hills home by an interior decorator and were also published in OK! magazine. OK! printed a retraction which read: "It has since come to our attention that the individual who supplied the photographs to us had no right to do so and the photographs were not authorized for publication." But that might not be good enough; Madge might sue. [MSNBC]
• Lost's Josh Holloway, aka Sawyer, is gonna be a dad: His wife, Yessica is expecting her first child. That's a good lookin' couple right there, expect a cute cute kid! [People]
• Anne Hathaway auctioned herself off for charity: "I will take you and a friend somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally shit faced," she said. The money raised from the event went to the Trevor Project, which operates a crisis suicide prevention line for LGBT youth. Anne went for $12,000 and was totally shocked. "I could not get a date for the prom," she claimed. Click for video! [E!]
• Whoa, Oprah is still seeing that Stedman dude? She says, "I happen to be with a man who has always appreciated the fact that I was...considered a powerful person, and gives me the space to be that." So much space we like, never see him? [E!]
• In case you were wondering, Oprah weighs 200 pounds and has "fallen off the wagon." She says: "I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed." [AP, WWD]
• The man and woman considered "persons of interest" in the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother have turned themselves in to cops. [ET]
• This just in: Mark Ruffalo's brother, Scott, has died. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus's new video involves the teen dream being chased by paparazzi, a totally new and never before explored concept. [Perez Hilton]
• By the by, Miley Cyrus says: "It's important at Christmastime to be daring – to put your cell phone and your computer away and actually be with your family and not just be worrying about other things that you can deal with every other day." [People]
• Ben Affleck will direct a film about the Arizona Project, the tale of a murdered reporter investigating political corruption. [Hollywood Reporter]
• The real Aaron Rose thinks the Gossip Girl Aaron Rose sucks. "I wish they would have made him cooler." [NY Post]
• New Lost video! Secrets about Ben Linus revealed! [E!]
• Despite what you may have heard, 90210's Brenda Walsh is not going to die! "They're not killing off her character," says Shenae Grimes, who plays Annie. But is it all a ruse? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Yes, yes, we know: There's a Cosby Show-inspired porn flick in the works, which a tipster called "The Fuxtables." [Comedy Central]
• Cate Blanchett got a letter from fans in Australia who'd had their farm repossessed. "The woman from the bank, who had repossessed the farm was called Caitlin Blankett. The man had written to me saying would I please change my name because every time his wife sees my films she bursts into tears." Cate is considering a new moniker: "I quite like the name Ethel." [Daily Express]
• Robert De Niro cried when Barack Obama won. [Daily Express]
• Debra Messing plays the career-driven wife of John Leguizamo in the new film Nothing Like The Holidays: "I'd never been an outsider in a film," Messing says. "I very much felt like the white Jewish girl and it was the first time I had ever been the minority on the set." [Reuters]
• Click to see a trailer of Benicio Del Toro in Che! [Telegraph]
• Kylie Minogue "snubbed" a personal invitation from David Bekham to watch him play football - -and went to an Alicia Keys show instead. Did she make the right choice? [The Sun]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Brooke Burke is signing 1,000 holiday cards to send to overseas troops who can't be home for the holidays. She'll also send pictures of herself wearing military fatigues. What's next? "I don't know!" she says. "I'd really love to work on a sitcom." [USA Today]
• American Idol winner Fantasia: Losing her home due to foreclosure. [Perez Hilton]
• Can you picture Keanu Reeves as a samurai? He'll star in 47 Ronin, an epic period film based on the true tale of a band of swordsmen who avenged the death of their master in 18th century Japan. [Variety]
• The 1998 film Out Of Sight, starring Jennifer Lopez and George Clooney, was named the "Sexiest Film Of All Time" in an Entertainment Weekly poll. Do we agree? [Times Of India]
• Actor Stacy Keach talks about golf, playing Richard Nixon and doing cocaine. [Reuters]
• "I don't really have a vested interest in what they do career-wise, so long as it's neither destructive to their bodies nor illegal. And hopefully not destructive to other people's bodies either." — Jennifer Connelly, on her kids. [Guardian]
• "A lot of actors didn't do well in school… as I turned into an actor, I felt like learning was no longer a job. It was like a passion. I learnt a lot about Cuba, the Sixties, Latin American history. It doesn't matter which way you cut it, it's my roots." — Benicio Del Toro. [Telegraph]
• "I like doing things that are completely unpredictable. I like the idea of — not shocking people — but just throwing people off. Doing something that makes them go: 'Whoa, she did that next? Wow! I didn't think she was going to do that!' That makes me feel like I'm able to do something interesting." — Kate Winslet. [UPI]
• "I do sometimes wish that I could live with less attention but not being totally ignored by the world. It's very wearing to be a celebrity. I wonder if people are going to follow me or if someone is going to pop out of nowhere with a camera. I get very angry but I'm trying not to let it stop me from living. You're sort of straddling that fine line between being kind and courteous and everything that your mother raised you to be to strangers that come up and refuse to respect your privacy." — Michelle Williams. [Parade]

In order to quench readers' insatiable thirst for gossip, we've decided to try an evening edition of the much-beloved Dirt Bag. Now you won't have to wait for morning to find out the latest celebrity news. Welcome to the swirling, sleazy disco ball of "Dirt Bag After Dark". 18 to enter and 21 to drink, ladies!

• Debra Messing was sad when tabloids were talking smack about her post-baby body. "On one page it showed all the actresses who got skinny in six weeks or less, and on the other page was me! I was so depressed and frustrated," she says. But now Debs is happy because she's skinny again! "I've finally taken ownership of my body." [People]
• Former sexiest man alive George Clooney is fake-sad about passing the sexy mantle Hugh Jackman. Hugh says George called him up at 2 am and "He goes, 'Shut up, Jackman!'…I know what you did! You started this big campaign that's been going on and [you] took the title away from me.'" Clooney vs. Jackman? That is one cat fight we would pay money to see. [People]
• Kim Ledger accepted GQ's actor of the year award in honor of Heath. He called Heath a "beautiful boy" and took the award on behalf "his little one Matilda and our family." [Daily Telegraph]

• Shock of all shocks, Perez Hilton is claiming the Speidi marriage was staged by Us and is probably not legal. You don't say! [Perez]
• Beyonce says that watching her sister Solange give birth made her reconsider having babies: "I was there in the delivery room and it kind of traumatized me. I said please don't have me in the room. And she said, 'You have to. I'm your sister. Stop being so silly.' Well, I was right!" [People]
• The always-humble Kanye West says his new album is "great art." He also said that his most recent trip to the bathroom resulted in "great fart." He's so grandiose! [AP via Yahoo]
• Those of you who wanted to download all your fave Beatles hits on iTunes may have to wait a little longer. According to the BBC negotiations between Apple and the surviving Beatles are stalled. "We are very for it, we've been pushing it. But there are a couple of sticking points, I understand," Paul McCartney says. [BBC]
• Despite their public feuding, Rosie O'Donnell says that Barbara Walters is welcome on her new variety show. Who wouldn't want to share a stage with Rosie and Liza Minnelli? [ETOnline]
• Do you love Amy Sedaris enough to sit through a 6 hour PBS documentary just 'cause she's in it? You'll find out after Christmas, when she and Billy Crystal helm the docu-series Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America. [Fishbowl LA]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will be on the cover of the next issue of T, the New York Times style magazine. [NYM]
• Kate Winslet is in Parade mag this weekend and she talks about watching herself in Titanic years later. "I just love seeing those things. I am enjoying my face changing, as well as realizing that at the same time, as you get older, the machine isn’t as well-oiled as it was," she says. [Just Jared]
• Pete Wentz dishes on the origin of "Bronx Mowgli Simpson Wentz." According to E!, "We came up with the idea Bronx, we'd been throwing it back and forth a while ago… [as for the middle name] The Jungle Book is something me and Ashlee bonded over. It's really cool." [E! Online via Yahoo]
• Bad news for the Gyllenhaal parents: their divorce proceedings have revealed that Naomi Foner and Stephen Gyllenhaal are pretty much broke. Naomi, a screenwriter, was so financially embattled during the WGA strike that she had to take out a loan. Can't Jakey spare a dime?

New York, November 14. Image via INF.

The Good:
Okay, the print may verge on "cow" but this retro silhouette looks amazing on Eva Mendes.
This is how objective I am being: Meg Ryan looks elegant. When did I develop such animosity towards Meg Ryan, anyway? When did we all? Yet, our dislike is implacable.
Debra Messing's frock has a lot going on, but she pulls it off.
I love how everyone's rocking these Mad Men shapes! Debi Mazar's print is in danger of giving me a seizure, but she's got the presence to work it.
Celeste Holm gets a permanent spot in "Good" for her turn in All About Eve.



Special Award:
Don't actually love Lucy Schwartz s outfit, but it's totally age-appropriate, which is a rarity in this day and age!


The Bad:
Jada rarely departs from the figure-hugging sheath, which admittedly looks rad on her. The beading on this one? Not so much. Also I can't stop thinking about how labor-intensive that beading must have been, and it makes me sad that I don't like it.
I have no compunction sticking Diane English's claret-colored frump in the "Bad" after she had the hubris to direct this movie. Yeah, I know: I haven't seen it. But I don't like her outfit.
Kat Kramer is a red-carpet fixture, a sort of really dowdy Phoebe Price whose actual mode of employment is unclear.
If understated elegance is not Erica Hubbard's goal, then, well, she's achieved...not doing that.
Uh oh! Someone forgot her pants!

[Images via Getty]

• Screenwriter Kurt Wimmer is rewriting the script of a spy thriller called Edwin A. Salt: It was supposed to star Tom Cruise and now Angelina Jolie is replacing him. Oh, and Angie will also star in an adaptation of the Ayn Rand novel Atlas Shrugged. Next, Angelina will adopt Suri. Unstoppable. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Uh, apparently Angelina Jolie and porn star Tera Patrick have an e-mail relationship? And have been talking about who should play Catwoman in the next Batman movie? [Page Six]
• Nikki Blonksy's dad, who's been locked up in a Turks and Caicos jail for over a week, has just been released. He's due to appear in court on August 19 at 9:00 a.m. [ET]
• Carl Blonsky can't leave the island because authorities have his travel documents. [TMZ]
• Um, this report says Carl is back in New York. [Page Six]
• Jake Gyllenhaal is "all bulked up and 'bear' chested for his role in the fantasy flick Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time." No, really, He looks like Conan. [E!]
• Director Malcolm Lee heard about the deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes and was in shock: They're both in his film Soul Men, which opens November 14. "It had to be some sort of bad dream that these two giants would die on the same weekend, and both would be in my movie." Lee says that Mac would entertain the crew and bystanders between takes. "He said, 'These people made me what I am,' " Lee says. "He said that if it weren't for the fans of his stand-up comedy, he wouldn't have the career he had." Samuel L. Jackson is also in the film. [USA Today]

• Hayden Panettiere's dad, Alan is out on bail after getting arrested for allegedly hitting Hayden's mom, Lesley. Something went down after that Whaleman Foundation event: Alan and Lesley were seen fighting after the dinner. It seems to have continued when they got home: Authorities say that Alan struck Lesley one or two times on the cheek, causing bruising. Alcohol was involved. [People]
• Alan Panettiere is known as "Skip." He's apparently known for having a temper and "coming down hard" on his family. A source says that once, Skip was watching Hayden's little brother Jansen play baseball: "He went postal on Jansen because he wasn't pitching right," the eyewitness recalled. "He got nutty. He was yelling and screaming at his kid in front of everyone. He was really pissed off and was really negative." [Yahoo News]
• People who paid $2,500 to attend a benefit in the Hamptons are not happy that featured guest Gwyneth Paltrow didn't mingle with the riff raff. [Rush & Molloy]
• Madonna "longs" to adopt another child from Malawi, preferably a girl, to be a sister for David Banda. [Mirror]
• Mariah Carey says she does one thing very well: "Dance." As for singing? "Oh, that’s business." [Fox News]
• Kelly Rowland threw a party in St. Tropez on Friday — Bono attended — and the bash had a £196,230 ($372,150) bar bill. What did you do this weekend? [Mirror]
• Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell looks effing awesome in a bikini on the cover of Hello!. She says: "People think I'm really confident but I do get self-conscious like many women about stripping off in public. I haven't been willingly photographed in a bikini for seven years — and I don't think I'll do it again." [Daily Mail]
• Orlando Bloom will star in a film about life in the Bosnian capital Sarajevo during the 1992-95 siege. Change of pace from swashbuckling blockbusters. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "What publisher and man-about-town may have had a liaison with Rielle Hunter, the woman who had an affair with John Edwards and a relationship with his pal Jay McInerney? He's told friends they were 'in bed for a week.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens has been sued for $5 million by a former producer. Her dad called the dude a "predator." Hollywood sleaze? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Britney Spears did a sit-down interview and photo shoot with OK! magazine. Remember the earlier encounter, when her dog defiled a Zac Posen dress? [MSNBC]
• Oh, here's that promo for the MTV Video Music Awards starring Russell Brand, Britney Spears and an elephant. Russell's accent! [People]
• A number of disability groups want a boycott of Tropic Thunder, because of its portrayal of the mentally ill. Ben Stiller says: "It's sort of edgy territory, but we felt that as long as the focus was on the actors who were trying to do something to be taken seriously that's going too far or wrong, that was where the humor would come from. [The joke is on] actors reaching for roles in terms of hopefully winning awards." [Perez Hilton]
• Balthazar Getty met Sienna Miller's parents, then Sienna and Balt had lunch with Jerry Bruckheimer in Malibu. [Mirror]
• Dr. Phil and his wife Robin were recently arguing so loud that their Beverly Hills neighbors could hear. Now the house is quiet because they seem to have moved out… Did they go in separate directions? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Coming soon: The Witches Of Eastwick TV show! Quick: Name a perfect cast. We need a redhead, a blonde and a Cher. [Ain't It Cool]
• Joss Stone is recording a theme song for Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Supposedly he approached her because of her "cross-racial appeal." But, um, she's British? [Times Of London]
• "Wild child Pixie Geldof turns to meditation and friends when she's feeling low." [Mirror]
• Another lender is after Ed McMahon for cash. [E!]
• Mia Tyler has called off her engagement. Maybe you didn't know she was engaged. [ONTD]
• Jason Statham showed up at the Playboy Mansion in a bathrobe, where Jon Lovitz was taking pictures of his face next to ladies' bare bottoms. Classy! [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl gossip! Michael Kors was seen with the cast at a NYC venue filming a fashion show scene! [Page Six]
• A martial arts school owner and fitness trainer in England is suing Tito Jackson, who allegedly borrowed $24,000 but only paid back $17,000. In other news, Tito Jackson still exists. [UPI]
• This story of Sean Connery's life is kind of amazing — once known as Tommy Connery, he dated Lana Turner and had Johnny Stompanato wave a gun in his face. [Daily Mail]
• "After a party in [Daniel Zelman's] apartment, I sat with him till 3:30 a.m. talking about the weather. Finally I said, 'Um, I guess I'm going to go.' I put on my polyester tiger-print swing coat and said, 'Will you kiss me?' 'Oh, gosh,' he said. 'I don't know.' I tried to be cool and said, 'It's just a kiss. I'm not asking you to marry me.' He said, 'No matter how interested we are in each other, we're so different, it will never work.' Cut to ten years later — we're married." —Debra Messing. [Reader's Digest]
• "I don’t think I am beautiful. I can look good, and I can look ugly." — Penelope Cruz. [MSNBC]
• "I'M COMPETING IN THE GAMES!!! EXCLUSIVE CHAMPION VIDEO!!!" — Kanye West. The video is pretty awesome. [KanyeUnivercity]

The Good:
I like how Aimee Teegarden's character on Friday Night Lights looks like a real teen. It's nice to know this is true in real life too — albeit a sophisticated and well-dressed one.
Don't worry, the shoes are fine, even though you can't see 'em here. Saffron Burrows is pretty much infallible.
Adrienne Palicki plays the town loose woman on FNL, so it's nice to see her getting to look cute and classy in real life.
Minka Kelly's ecru is an example of a good maxi.
Not loving the color, but basically Ali Larter's simple red sheath looks fab.
It took me a while to warm to this shape, but actress Dania Ramirez is making me a believer.


The Bad:
Hairdresser Tabatha Coffey: awesome name, unfortunate frock.
I love me a good pair of trousers, but unfortunately I also hate me incredibly ugly blouses like Yvonne Strahovski's.
This bandage thing is not my absolute favorite on Hayden Panettiere.

Dear Bar Rafaeli: we get it, you're sexy. Is the keyhole really necessary?

The Ugly:
Nadine Velazquez's shoes are ugly. That is all.

Images via Getty

[Beverly Hills, May 25. Image via Flynet]

[LAX, April 24. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

*Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.

• Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler: Tomei plays the stripper-girlfriend of a washed-up wrestler played by Mickey Rourke in this drama set in the 1980s. Stripper? Not the same as a hooker for sure, but close enough for our purposes. Also, something tells me that living with a pro-wrestler might lead to some domestic abuse. Just guessing! Verdict: Hooker, with possible undertones of victim.
• Gina Gershon, Love Ranch: Oh, my, GOD this is a must see! Helen Mirren and Joe Pesci are the husband and wife owners of a Nevada brothel (wait, it gets better). They fall into a love triangle with a South American boxer, and according to the Hollywood Reporter, a state senator also becomes entangled in their "sordid affairs." Gershon plays one of the hookers in the love ranch stable. Though I'm dying to see it, the Verdict is still: Hooker.
• Renee Zellweger, My One And Only: In this biopic of actor George Hamilton's life, Zellweger plays his mother, a fancy dame named Anne Deveraux, who is on an East Coast quest to find a rich husband. Verdict: looking for a man to bankroll your lifestyle? That's Hooker behavior through and through.
• Penelope Cruz, Elegy: Cruz plays the student to Ben Kingsley's horny old English professor. Reuters describes Kingsley's character as "charismatic and selfish," and for gods sakes, this movie is based on a Philip Roth novel! Verdict: Victim. Exploiting the power dynamic between professor and student is one of the oldest and grossest tricks in the book.
• Emma Thompson , An Education: Thompson plays the headmistress of a school in this story of a 17-year-old girl who starts dating a 35-year-old sports car driving playboy (Peter Sarsgaard). Thompson's character gets pissed because the girl is putting her chances of admission to Oxford in jeopardy by focusing on her new beau. Verdict: Thompson is OK! 35-year-old dating a teenager? Majorly sketchy.
• Michelle Pfeiffer,Cheri: Pfeiffer is in talks to play the title role in this adaptation of a Collette novel by the same name. She plays a woman who dates the wealthy son of one of her friends. According to Variety, " When he is forced to give up the six-year relationship after marrying someone else, the young man can't forget her and retreats into a fantasy world." Verdict: a woman so alluring that she causes her young honey to go nuts? This broad sounds OK!
• Kristen Bell, When In Rome: Kristen plays a "love-starved" New York City curator who steals magical coins from a fountain in Rome. The magical pocket change causes dudes to aggressively court her like they never have before. Not only does this sound like a blatant rip-off of Love Potion Number 9, but Bell's "love-starved" character sounds like your run-of-the mill romantic comedy heroine Doormat.

Tomei Joins Aronofsky's 'Wrestler' [Variety]
'Ranch' Wrangles Three [Hollywood Reporter]
Zellweger To Star In 'One And Only' [Variety]
Cruz, Kingsley Play Lovers In New Film "Elegy" [Reuters]
'Education' Gets Four Stars [Hollywood Reporter]
Miramax, Pathe Work Out 'Cheri' [Variety]
Bell In 'Rome' At Disney [Hollywood Reporter]

Movies

• Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There: Cate plays one of four Bob Dylans in this avant garde semi-biopic. She's mid-60s Bob — after he went electric but before he became born again. She is playing a dude, and a dude who wasn't always good to women (see Baez, Joan), but since there's no "douche/genius" category, we'll have to go with...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Ruby Dee, American Gangster: Ruby plays gangster Frank Lucas's long suffering mother in this story of a black gangster who corners the Harlem heroin trade in the 70s. She lives off Frank's drug largess despite knowing his cash is ill-gotten. Despite one scene at the end where she slaps her son across the face...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Catherine Keener, Into the Wild: Didn't see it but cribbed this from the NYT
  review: "carefree and careworn" surrogate parental figure to wilderness wanderer hero, Chris. She sounds independent and kooky! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone: Ryan plays an alcoholic mother whose child is kidnapped. Hm, going to have to go with...Verdict: Victim
  
• Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton: Emotionally distant powerhouse lawyer orders the death of the title character when she realizes that he might ruin her reputation. She's sort of a doormat when it comes to the whims of the evil corporation Swinton is working for, but I think she's essentially... Verdict: Ok!

Television

• Ellen Burstyn, Mitch Albom's For One More Day: Dead mom/ghost helps her troubled son figure his life out. The wikipedia description says the Burstyn character saved the family with her love. Ew. Sounds like she was kind of...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Debra Messing, The Starter Wife: Her Hollywood hotshot husband leaves her for a Britney (pre K-Fed) doppleganger. At first she falls apart, but then through the support of her friends she falls for a hot homeless dude. Since she only realizes that her life is vapid and overly botoxed when she's dumped, I say...Verdict: Victim
  
• Anna Paquin, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: Paquin plays a 19th century schoolteacher who tries to improve life for Indians on a reservation. Sounds like a tough broad. Verdict: Ok!
  
• Queen Latifah, Life Support: Queen plays a mother who overcomes a crack-addiction to become a positive role model and activist. Probably a little schlocky, but basically...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Vanessa Redgrave, The Fever: Redgrave is a woman gets involved in politics with no previous contact with world events. Down with societal apathy! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Gena Rowlands, What if God Were the Sun?: Quick-witted terminally ill patient helps change another woman's outlook on life. Terminally ill? Ugh. Verdict: Victim
  
• Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty: HBIC at fictional Mode Magazine, Vanessa plays a conniving and immaculately coiffed baddie. Even though she torments adorable Betty, she's pretty much...Verdict: Ok!

  *Caveat: we haven't seen many of these movies/shows, so if our snap judgments are incorrect, holler and let us know!

  Nominations Announced For The 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards [SAG Awards]
  Earlier: The Golden Globe Nominees: No Hookers, But Lots Of Victims

[LAX, November 18. Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, August 8. Image via Splash]

• That line that Penelope Cruz is "designing" for European mass-retailer Mango with her sister Monica? It's apparently good! [FabSugar]
  
• Pardon us while we gag: Nike and Lance Armstrong are partnering to create a LiveStrong athletic apparel line. And yes, all proceeds once again go the Lance Armstrong Foundation. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Watch yourself, Forever 21! There's a new copycat teen retailer in town and its name is Love Culture. It wants your shoppers and it hasn't been sued by Gwen Stefani... yet. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Want to buy Barneys New York? You have 'til Sunday to trump the two bids for the store currently on the table if you happen to have over $896 million burning a hole in your pocket. [WWD, sub req'd]

• "I feel very Anna Nicole Smith right now. She liked pink like I like pink." Baby Phat designer Kimora Lee Simmons comparing herself to the late Trim Spa smokeswoman in a previewed episode of her forthcoming reality show (how Anna Nicole Smith!) Kimora: Life In The Fab Lane. [WWD, 2nd item]
• 3.1 Phillip Lim flagship store! Officially opens today! And apparently Debra Messing thinks that whether she cares or not makes a difference? [Vogue UK]
• Kate Moss is throwing a big party for Prince, of whom she's apparently been the hugest fan for the longest time, etc. etc., but you know she and Pete had some raging fight a few months ago during which he got all "Purple Rain is overrated bollocks," not because he believed it but because he has this image seared indelibly in his mind of her fucking Johnny Depp to "When Doves Cry," and maybe Pete should just think on that a little longer. [Vogue UK]
• Designer Luca Orlandi of Luca Luca says his dream job would be Go-Kart racer. We thought this was sorta weird until he mentioned that he used to be a "champion" Go-Kart racer as a child. Um, yeah - and we still want to be ballerinas! [The Fashion Informer]

Molly Kagan (Debra Messing): Molly is positive that homeless, sexy Sam is innocent of murder and to prove how much she believes in his innocence, she asks him out on a second date. Nevertheless, Sam is arrested for Lou's murder, leaving Molly heartbroken until she comes across none other than Lou himself in a parking garage. Lou explains to Molly that he faked his own death because his job is depressing. Even more fortuitously, Molly realizes that she is Sam's alibi, thereby helping to spring him from jail, and the two get it on, at last.

Joan MacAllister (Judy Davis): Sure, Joan was able to finagle her way out of rehab, but just like Amy Winehouse, she refuses to give up her vices. In fact, her drinking only seems to be getting worse and worse, as does her passing judgment on Sam and Molly's relationship. Joan just can't understand why Molly would want to fuck a homeless man and convicted killer. (Crazy, we know!) The whole thing comes to a messy climax when, drunk and behind the wheel, Joan crashes her car, breaking her nose in the process.

Cricket Stewart (Miranda Otto): Cricket's still a pain in the ass, although she tries to be ultra-supportive of Molly and her relationship with Sam.

Lavender (Anika Noni Rose): Lavender still has no last name. [Because she is black! - Ed.] She and her grandmother are still living with Joan. Grandma says perhaps there is someone in Malibu who needs a little extra money who will permanently rent them a room.

Rodney (Chris Diamantopoulos): Rodney is still poor. He still is being pursued by the ugly gay guy. We are still unsure why he is still poor or where the ugly gay guy came from.

Sam (Stephen Moyer): Sam almost never wears a shirt. Even when being taken to jail. Even when being released from jail.

Philip Roth: Still a strange presence in the series. In the beginning of this particular episode, Sam gives Molly his copy of The Anatomy Lesson. The fact that this is the second time this book has been mentioned can only mean that Roth himself has a deal second only to Pond's when it comes to product placement in this god-awful series. Or that Starter Wife creator Gigi Levangie Grazer is already shopping for her second husband.

Related: 'The Starter Wife': Sadly, We're Still Hooked
The Unexpected Intrigue (And Totally Expected Banality) Of 'The Starter Wife'

Molly Kagan (Debra Messing): Poor Molly. To quote the Bard, "The course of true love never did run smooth!". She can't get mean hot mystery man Sam off her brain, nor can she stop thinking about the man-who-stood-her-up, her ex-husband's boss, Lou. Molly likes Lou. Molly likes Sam. Molly learns that Lou didn't stand her up — he disappeared! She gets called in for police questioning. And then spends most of the episode asking some questions herself, namely, who is Sam, really? The only real answer she gets is that Sam is homeless. And that he likes Philip Roth. Could his homelessness and penchant for contemporary Jewish fiction possibly be linked to Lou's disappearance??? Also, this week, Molly is obsessed not with her weight, but with the bags under her eyes. She uses Pond's products which, clearly, aren't helping.

Joan MacAllister (Judy Davis): Pretending to want to be in rehab isn't fun anymore! Even having to vacation in France with her old man husband is starting to sound better than this, so dear Joan hatches a plot where she makes up an absurd story about her evil sister Bambi and about how her unresolved issues with Bambi are what drove her to drink. She then sneaks away from her therapist long enough to call Molly and fill her in the scheme... and convince Molly to make an appearance at her rehab facility posing as Bambi in order to spring her. Our heart grows sadder and sadder with each passing minute: Why did the brilliant Judy Davis accept this role? Anyway, Joan gets sprung and goes back home to Malibu, only to find that Molly has invited some others to move-in to her Malibu home as well.

Cricket Stewart (Miranda Otto): While at yoga class, Cricket hears a woman making fun of Molly and Cricket kicks her while she assumes Warrior 3. Could we be getting our little Cricket back? Could this the first sign that she's on the path back to Molly? Then Cricket finds out about her asshole husband and the slutty Russian nanny. She swiftly throws asshole husband and slutty Russian nanny out of her home, and then runs off to (where else?) Joan's home in Malibu. She and Molly kiss and make-up and swear they'll never be lonely again.

Lavender (Anika Noni Rose): Lavender the security guard and her sassy grandma get evicted for no reason at all from their apartment. [Of course they did! They're black! - Ed.] Molly invites Lavender and her grandma and their little dog to move in with her at Joan's Malibu pad. Ah, the benevolence of the white folk! Lavender and Molly also talk about how happy they are to be friends and swear they'll never be lonely again.

Rodney (Chris Diamantopoulos): Molly's #1 gay/decorator is inexplicably broke. He has not a dollar to his name and can't pay his bills. So, off he trots to join Molly and Cricket and Joan and Lavender in Malibu. Of course! No financial resolution is in sight, though some ugly straight-edged dude does want to do him.

Sam (Stephen Moyer): Sam is still super mysterious, but slightly-less mean. He takes Molly on a date to Starbucks and pays in change... because that's what homeless men do. He tells Molly he can't offer her stability, but he would love "to make love to" her. He also casually mentions to Molly that he's homeless because five years ago he killed a man! Oh, and also his bloody band-aid and a glass with his saliva on it were found at the home of Molly's other beau, Lou, the night of Lou's disappearance. Coincidence? And could Sam be the mystery man we saw sneaking into Lou's home and stealing money and stationary?

And most importantly. what does Philip Roth have to do with any of this? Next Thursday just can't come fast enough!

Earlier: The Unexpected Intrigue (And Totally Expected Banality Of 'The Starter Wife'

Molly Kagan (Debra Messing): Molly was a poor girl who had bushy eyebrows and bad hair until she met now-ex Kenny Kagan. He taught her about sushi and next thing you know, the girl was in love. Flash forward to the present, and Molly is a poor, impeccably-groomed 40-something with a young daughter, a husband who dumped her, and an existential crisis to deal with. Every 15 minutes or so, Molly makes a comment about what good hair she has and how fat she's getting... and we struggle to empathize.

Kenny Kagan (Peter Jacobson): He's the ex. He's a creep. He don't really get why Molly ever married him to begin with, other than the whole sushi-lesson thing. The movie opens with him calling Molly from the treadmill and asking her to pick up dog shit. No, really. Also, he kinda looks like Jon Lovitz.

Joan McAllister (the brilliant Judy Davis): Joan is Molly's friend. She is a WASP. She has a much older husband. She is a drunk. We suspect she's also a drag queen.

Cricket Stewart (Miranda Otto): Cricket is also a friend of Molly, only, after Molly gets dumped, Cricket's husband says the two can't be friends. Then the husband sleeps with the nanny.

Lavender (Anika Noni Rose): Lavender is the security guard [Of course she is! She's black! -Ed.] in the gated Malibu community where Molly has fled post-split. Lavender is working to put herself through UCLA, just as Molly once had. She is also supposedly from the "wrong side of the tracks. [Of course she is! She's black! -Ed.]

Rodney (Chris Diamantopoulos): Rodney is Molly's friend and her interior decorator. Not surprisingly, he is also gay.

So what happened during the long-winded 2-hour premiere? Molly weighed herself. A lot. Her husband dumped her. She fled to Malibu. She started liking her ex-husband's boss. She started liking a mean dude she spied on the beach who was, in addition to being mean, really, really secretive. Her friends were strangely absent. Molly made fun of them. And then, in the last 30 seconds of the premiere — spoiler alert! — the ex's boss stood Molly up on a date to... commit suicide. (We think.) Yeah, we were shocked and awed too. So much so that, sadly, we'll be tuning in next Thursday to continue to figure out this dirty, drunken mess.
The Starter Wife [USA Network]
The Starter Wife [iVillage.com]