Project Runway: Pooing Fabric

Project Runway premiered to much fanfare last night. Well, at least by us. But we didn't really fall in love with anyone right away, although we did take a shine to the middle-aged new age chick Elisa, if only because she's gonna keep things interesting. The first challenge was that deeeeeesigners had to make garments out of... expensive fabric. So challenging. But whatever, for us, it's all about Michael Kors. Above, a clip from last night's show. After the jump, check out the cast.

Carmen, 37

Former model who believes that "if you haven't modeled then you don't know the first thing." The first thing about what? Eating? Having a desk job? Calculus? Humility?

Sweet P., 46

Once belonged to an all-girl motorcycle club. Makes her own clothes. Currently out of money. Probably reads BUST magazine.

Chris, 44

Looks and sounds like Harvey Fierstein. Hawaiian shirt suggests he is a gay man or a big fat party animal. Hopefully he's both.

Christian, 21

Says he's "kinda fierce and kinda a celebrity in my own head." We say he's kinda a lesbian.

Marion, 39

Owns a flower shop in Texas, which is where he designs women's clothing. We think he actually is a lesbian.

Jillian, 26

Hails from Long Island. Says her designs are her "visual poetry" of the things she loves. Voted most likely to be urged by her mother to attend a speed dating event organized by the 92nd Street Y.

Elisa, 42

"She reminds us of a rain goddess woman. She's like all spiritual and in the Himalayan Mountains." Her interests include Yoga, grass stains, and Haiku cuts.

Kevin, 30

Reminded us that his sexual orientation is straight. His facial hair, however, is gay.

Rami, 31

Has dressed celebrities such as Fergie, Tyra Banks, Erykah Badu, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Paris Hilton. The judges aren't holding such offenses against him, thus far.

Jack, 38

Looks great in underpants.

Steven, 30

He sews. He paints. He sketches. He plays music. He shits nickels. This guy can do it all!

Ricky, 35

Wears many hats — literally, not figuratively.

Victorya, 34

A self-professed overachiever, who worked as a journalist in Paris for six years. Whatever, she makes dresses you can't hail a cab in.

Kat "Pistol," 26

Her name is her "Mark Twain." Her clothes are her "Dr. Seuss."

Simone, 32

Oh who cares? Voted off on the first episode means you won't get recognized in public.

Earlier: Bloggin 'Project Runway'?We Try To Make It Work

Send an email to Tracie, the author of this post, at tracie@jezebel.com.

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