Someone needs to introduce her to Tionna.

This woman is one hot bitch!!

Seriously if women talked like this, there'd be no broken hearts club!

I am in awe with her momma!! LMAO..

That was brilliant. I have no fucking clue what that was, but it empowered me.

That was the craziest shit I've ever witnessed in my life.

Love it

"You know, you can really make someone dislike somethin'."

Indeed.

I love the numbers part..."five thousand miles, one million miles, two million miles, five hundred thousand miles a minute..." hilarious!

nothing amuses me more than the confused expression on her mother's face.

Slut Machine, this is the most consistently entertaining thing on all of Jezebel.com and you should get some sort of interweb award for bringing it to us. It's like a SNL skit, only funny. I can't believe that this is a real person. She is literally unbelievable. And unbelievably funny.

I was about to call my Mother tonight and now I just can't.

What is this? It's amazing! But incomprehensible.

Thank you, Slut Machine, you made my night!

"This is about a 6.5" - haaaa. awesome. and she is spot on there.

Alexyss' mom is the best. I want to send her flowers.

I love her mom's folder/fat blocker. I want one to cover my muffin top.

Oh, this is the 'tip' of the iceberg !!! She had one video talking about this Atlanta professional, basically doing a 'Larry Craig' at the Atl-Hartfield Airport....hilarium !!!! In the same video, she talks about how these women called her on speakerphone, talking about how much of an atrocity she is...her response? representing her 'hood', straight bankhead, representin...her words.....:D

I think the lady often speaks some basic truth. At first I thought she was batshit, but now when I see these I kinda nod along with her, thinking, "I KNOW!"

"Standing on the corner with their dick in their hand or got it out the damn pants trying to give new recruits a piece of damn dick, cuz a lot of time they can't get no dick and no bubble gum cuz they be fresh out of Spearmint and damn Juicy Fruit but they keep plenty of damn dick and keep the nuts fueled up and keep em filled up with high octane they getting it out you see that's why I said a lot of these women..."
Dammit you cut the clip just when she was getting to her point!

whoa.

I have no clue what she's really talking about...but I love her.

What I find sort of disturbing, after watching several clips from different episodes, is how her speech becomes less and less ebonics-y. Seriously, she sounds totz white in one of them - no more "aks"ing. What gives - did she get a speech coach so people would take her more seriously instead of being the hilarious sassy black chick? Reminds me of Tyra telling girls on ANTM that talking like you're in the ghetto won't sell any CoverGirl products to nobody, girlfriend.

I love her. I seriously love her. I love when she tells her mother that she'll ask some guy, "You gotta big dick?" I love everything that comes out of her mouth.

They make me so proud to be from ATL.

Ohmygod.

'Hangin' ooonnnnnnnnn'. She sounds like my grandmother. (Born and grown in Savannah, Georgia.) She also would dispense wonderful nuggets in that same, non-sensical vein. Mostly, other folks just smile and nod and go 'mm mmmmmmm' in Georgia, because they have no clue what the fuck anyone is on about.

It also reminds me of a SNL sketch, only it's real. Scary.

I'm so glad she exists.

Oh shit, that was awesome!

If a man ain't got no Juicy Fruit.........

Ya know, I always expect chewing gum before sex. ;)

I'm British, so it's probably just me, but what was she saying? I mean I got some of it, but what was the chewing gum reference? Baffling.

I think this is what they call avant garde sex therapy. I'd definetly pay to see her lecture live some where.

I can't understand what she is talking about. But I find it hilarious anyway. And even more strangely, it makes me feel good and confident about myself. What is it, just the tone of her totally fearless voice? Totally awesome. Go Alexyss!!

I've seen a few of her segments on Youtube a while back. Homegirl is truly off the chain. Hilarious. When I showed my fiance a few weeks ago, he sat in amazement for minutes. He was so thankful that I made that introduction. She is a true, genuine original. I love this woman.

Oh, I got everyone I know hooked on her. Vagina power!