That issue of Allure with Britney Spears on the cover is here, and she looks... so seductive. So come-hither. That "Bombshell hair"....that "Clear, Radiant Skin"....that uh... "Secret Eating." Is that why she's in that weird crazy person crawling on the floor pose? Because she scarfed down a few pints of Chubby Hubby in the bathroom and she can't get up? Or because she's crazy? We'll never know, because she didn't show up for any of those "revealing" interviews they always promise. Oh. Well. Know what? I know fucking enough about Britney Spears already and I'd rather just let The Superficial imagine the rest of it for me.

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