Google revealed its top search trends for 2014 today, and the results are an eclectic mix of expected (Ebola symptoms, Serial), scary (asphyxia), depressing (Wal Mart is the most-searched location on Google Maps), and things that I, too, would like to know (How to wear a scarf). And then there are Google's Most Searched Beauty Questions, which I've answered for you here (with some staff input). You're so welcome!

How to get rid of acne

Accutane, birth control, a 30-second pinch to the face and a quick lie-down.

How to get rid of stretch marks

Eucalyptus oil applied in tandem with a swift prayer to Gaia, idk

How often should I wash my hair

Oh my god, every time it's greasy?????? Teens! Okay, but there is some curly-haired realness here that I haven't totally mastered myself, so here is suggested reading.

What is bb cream?

Tinted moisturizer + a mysterious vibe

How to clean makeup brushes?

Thoroughly and at least once a week, using something like this. Unless you live with a dermatologist who can fix your gross face flakes twice a month.

How to get rid of bags under your eyes

Cucumbers. Expensive cucumbers.

How to minimize pores

Cold water and this Fresh Black Tea Instant Perfecting Mask. Or Photoshop! Or just wait it out until you become one giant pore, it's totally your decision.

How to shape eyebrows

Go to a professional. Or follow his lead, either/or!

What are freckles?

Where I come from they are known as angel kisses, I haven't really looked into it further, sorry!

How to apply foundation

Okay this is SUCH a big question and depends on whether you're a powder gal, a liquid chick, or on RuPaul's Drag Race and need a spackle. Here is the Jezebel Take:

Kara:

"Melanin"

Jia:

Erin:

"1. Wash face (or if you're lazy like me, just wipe your face with a makeup cloth)

2. Apply lotion.

3. After lotion soaks in, apply Benefit's Porefessional

Honestly the best primer. Then put on a light foundation. The end."

Image via Dmitry Zimin/Shutterstock.