Here's What Makes a Woman Feel Sexy, Apparently

A new survey by car company Kia (???) sought to discover what makes men and women feel their most confident. For dudes, it was all about a freshly shaved face and compliments at work. Women found their confidence in haircuts, learning new skills, high heels and diamonds diamond diiiiiiiiamonds.

While the survey was actually about empowerment, The Daily Mail (I read it so you don't have to) has framed it as a list on what makes women feel the sexiest. It's a little annoying because feeling confident doesn't necessarily equal feeling sexy, but what-the-fuck-ever. I'm too tired to get into that shit right now.

Here's what they've come up with:

1. A new haircut
2. A sunny day
3. Walking in heels
4. Learning a new skill
5. Booking a holiday
6. Shaved legs
7. Lipstick
8. Glowing tan
9. Little black dress
10. Designer perfume
11. A day off
12. Being asked out on a date
13. Matching lingerie
14. Eating a healthy breakfast
15. Going to the gym
16. Diamond ring
17. A blow-dry
18. Whitened teeth
19. Chatting with a friend or close relative
20. Trouser suit

Feeling empowered or, to play the Daily Mail's game, feeling $EXY is a pretty personal thing. Like, maybe I'm in the minority, but very few things on that list appeals to me.

For example, here's how a lot of these things make me feel:

  • Booking a vacation = panicked about money
  • Matching lingerie = does it count when everything you own is breathable cotton?
  • Shaved legs = LOL
  • Glowing tan = LOL
  • Going to the gym = LOL
  • Trouser suits = I'M EVERY WOMAN, IT'S ALL IN MEEEEEEEEE.

The original Kia self-assurance survey is little hard to track down, so I can't tell whether or not respondents had a fixed set of answers to choose from or if they were able to submit their own (the latter would be a lot more telling). Either way, there are only a few things that, universally, will actually make a woman feel sexy and they are:

  • Having your asshole bedazzled (buttdazzled?).
  • Being told that you look like an actress you hate.
  • And getting a free coffee because the barista can tell you've been "having a rough time lately."

Other than that, it's entirely up to the individual.

Image via Shutterstock.