Didja hear? The butt is back! It's been a rough couple of decades since it detached itself from your body and fled town, but now it's returned — older, wiser, and full of stories from the road. It smokes cigarettes, grew a beard and even built that house (The Butt House) you two dreamt about, all in an the hopes that you would one day be reunited if and when butts were ever deemed socially acceptable again. It's a true romance between you and your butt!
But, as is always the case, some people's romances are better and BIGGER than others. The naturally big-butted are gifted with a more well-rounded butt love story (the Casablanca of butt love stories), while those with tiny hinies are living out more of a From Justin to Kelly sitch. Enter the rising popularity of the Brazilian butt lift, a surgical ass lifting/fat transferring procedure that plastic surgeons are performing more now than ever before.
From NBC News:
"It's just amazing, the numbers," said Dr. Douglas Taranow, a board-certified plastic surgeon in New York City's Upper East Side. "It's with J. Lo, and Beyonce, and everyone else having a great derriere. … I think people see that and they want to mirror image it."
Great derriere? Who do you think you are, Dr. Douglas Taranow? America's charmingly creepy great uncle?
Butt lifts still fall behind breast augmentation and liposuction in terms of overall popularity, but the increasing number of the procedures over the past couple years is remarkable. Dr. Taranow claims that he does "as many as as four or five Brazilian butt lifts in a week, and while it's mostly women, he's had two male patients in the past six months." In 2013, cosmetic surgeons performed an estimated 10,000 butt lifts, up from 8,500 in 2012.
So there you have it. The era of mainstream society making women women feel bad about having a big butt has come to a close and now we can all move on to looking down on small-butted women instead. Or we could just accept that there are nice butts large and petite and that every butt has a place in this world. There's some-butt-y for every-butt-y!