Last night the VMAs — which is another name for the 2-hour long purgatory before Beyoncé's performance — took place in L.A.
Singers, models, actors and Kardashians flocked to the scene in various outlandish outfits, as tradition requires. Some wore denim. Others wore conceptual chainmail. As a very welcome change, hardly anyone looked boring.
Let's have a look:
Beyoncé showed up on the red carpet very belatedly, because Beyoncé does not have to be on time to the MTV Video Music Awards. She's wearing an embellished black bead and lace gown by Nicolas Jebran Couture. I'm not entirely blown away by the look — it feels like a bit much with the earrings — but, I mean, she always looks great.
I don't know what is going on with Taylor Swift's outfit concept, which is a powder blue onesie covered in letters and worn with elegant booties and a beachy bob. The romper is Mary Katrantzou resort 2015, and it also comes in purple. I welcome conspiracy theories about what the letters stand for.
J LO LOOKED WONDROUS. This Charbel Zoe gown has all the hallmarks of an ideal celebrity awards show look: it's insanely glittery; there are cut-outs where no sane person would think to put cut-outs; it looks like it's made of mithril; there's a giant leg-slit. A+++, good work everyone.
Katy Perry and Riff Raff channeled Britney and Justin circa 2001, which, sure, whatever. Katy Perry said on Twitter that the outfit is "a result of my love for nostalgia and my tumblr addiction." SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE OF THE MILLENNIAL, I SEE.
Kim Kardashian wore Balmain, which is a thing she loves to do. I think she looked great — I am here for the sensual, very ornately-beaded poncho. It probably weighs, like, 60 pounds.
Here is Miley Cyrus wearing a leather ensemble by Alexandre Vaulthier that sort of recalls last year's outfit (she also flaunted her tongue, which definitely recalls last year's outfit). The fit of the pants is a bit odd, but I think she wears them really well.
Here's the tongue, for old time's sake:
In honor of "Anaconda," Nicki Minaj wore a python-print sequin mini dress by Saint Laurent; she also continued her recent habit of minimalistic hair and makeup, which has really been working for her.
Amber Rose!!!!! Her look is like if the chain dress Rose McGowan wore that one time went to Medieval Times. Which is to say, amazing.
Additional pictures of her outfit, plus Wiz Khalifa, because we deserve it:
Here's Demi Lovato in an insanely low-cut red wrap dress by Lanvin. It's a very bold look: I'm obsessed with the color; the cut makes me wildly nervous (so precarious!), but she rocked it. I also pray for the day that the Skrillex half-shaved head slinks back into the hell-pit from whence it came.
I guess Ariana Grande is trying to move away from the sweet and demure dresses she oftentimes wears on the red carpet with this v. sassy Moschino look, which she paired with Tom Ford thigh highs.
Here we have Iggy Azalea in Versace Atelier, looking like a futuristic priestess. It's an incredible dress, and she wears it well.
Solange, experimental as always, wore a glistening formal suit by H&M Collection AND red fake eyelashes.
Gwen Stefani wore a bright pink bustier and skinny pants by L.A.M.B., her own clothing line.
Laverne Cox looks SO GOOD. Her hair! That dress! YES.
Kesha's look wasn't too exciting, but her hair is a beautiful pastel technicolor dream. This is what I imagine a fairy queen would wear when she's having a few friends over for dinner.
Rita Ora wore a negligee-inspired silk gown by Donna Karan Atelier with matching lips and a diamond choker. I love how glam-yet-campy she looks.
Dystopian novelists Kendall and Kylie Jenner were there, wearing all black (classic dystopian novelists). Kendall's look was nice and understated — black slacks and a transparent top over a fitted bra.
Kylie wore something that looks sort of like a silken garbage bag, in the best way possible.
Ireland Baldwin and Angel Haze were insanely cute on the red carpet. Not a huge fan of the bottom portion of Ireland's dress, but you can't win 'em all.
Another beauteous couple: here we have Jordin Sparks and Jason Derulo clad in all white.
Some of my favorite looks of the night: both Jourdan Dunn and Chanel Iman looked stunning in all-black Balmain; Michelle Williams (middle) wore an elegant printed dress with a keyhole neckline.
Gorgeous gowns: Jessie J looking like a Grecian goddess in vintage Halston; Sarah Hyland shimmering in Kaufmanfranco with perfectly severe hair and makeup; Kelly Rowland glowing in a champagne maxi dress.
A bit wilder: Rocsi Diaz wore a plunging golden halter dress; Charli XCX wore a tiger-print romper; Cher Lloyd wore a bold leather mini dress.
Awkward's Ashley Rickards looks lovely in a fitted navy lace dress; The Vampire Diaries' Nina Dobrav is all slinky in a draped gown by Zuhair Murad; Chloe Grace Moretz went fairly unconventional in an embellished pink Louis Vuitton shirt and trousers.
Various LBDs: Lucy Hale wore a Sachin & Babi crop top and a floral Oscar de la Renta skirt; Alexandra Shipp continued the sheer, lace trend that will not die; Uzo Aduba looked all class in a simple black dress.
The bad: I cannot even wrap my head around what Rita Volk has on; Victoria Justice's weird pseudo-scaly mullet skirt is bad, and her #hashtag clutch is even worse (see below for a closer look at it); Julianne Hough's dress looks a lot like curtains, which I'm not that into.
Some men: Sam Smith, all dapper in his suit; Snoop Dogg in heart-shaped sunglasses 'cause why not; Usher looking v. casual.
And here we have Jack Antonoff in an ill-fitting suit; Ed Sheeran looking like an affable bro; and Darren Crisis in subdued pink.
Images via Getty.