Jezebel: Glamocracy

Barack Obama Would Rather Be Shooting Dunks And Fathering Illegitimate Children. (Duh!)

Moe — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:00:00 EDT

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In a telling interview with the erudite Philadelphia radio program The Angelo Cataldi Show, Barack Obama said he would rather be Dr. J than president. (Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, gave some speech comparing herself to Rocky Balboa while wearing a fuchsia blazer.) Feminist hero Heidi Montag of The Hills announced her endorsement of John McCain, and her on-again boyfriend Spencer Pratt immediately shot back that he didn't think "anyone cares who Heidi Montag votes for." Well shit, Spencer, you know better than anyone that at least as many people care about Heidi's political stances as the fact that John McCain thinks Muqtada al Sadr is the one who came begging for a ceasefire, and that's way more than the number of people who care about the release of some 2003 Bush Administration memo authorizing torture-esque torture strategies, and even that is wayyyy more than the number of people who will sit still long enough to watch Errol Morris' new movie so...where was I? OMG EVILDOERS TRIED TO BLOW UP DISNEYLAND! Glamocracy's Megan and I are soooooo glad they didn't succeed. More »

Meet Bikini Blogger Pamela Geller. She Is Like Ann Coulter Meets The Real Housewives. She Is Amazing.

Moe — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:00:00 EST

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We are not going to beat around the, uh, pubes: we did not really dive into a piece on "5 Female Conservative Bloggers" expecting to find new role models/heroines for Jezebel readers to admire/encourage/etc.. But HOLY SHIT, how did we never hear of Pamela Geller? Pamela's blog is called Atlas Shrugs. She has an MBA. "I'm not a feminist, I'm an anti-feminist," she tells Right Wing News."That whole movement...is rooted in Marxist-Leninist propaganda." Today's post is basically about how Barack Obama is the tool of Colombian paramilitary drug cartels, Hugo Chavez and Al Qaeda. (Wait, actually, every post is about that.) But her big claim to internet fame came when she posted a video blog entry while wearing a bikini back in the summer of '06. See, she was in Israel, and she felt it was important to illustrate the fact that although the scrappy little underfunded self-defense outfit of Israel was in the throes of a bloody war with a colossal superhuman enemy no mortal thought they could ever beat, she wasn't yet being forced to don a burka. "They haven't declared Sharia law yet!" she says. Oh, please go watch this. Her accent is SO PRICELESS. More »

Deconstructing Angelina Jolie's Inner Neocon

Moe — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:00:40 EST

So Lara Croft turns out to be a no-longer-closeted neocon. Now will Brad's red-state mom acknowledge her at the Thanksgiving dinner table? Will Scarlett Johansson compose a dis track for her next album on the perils defining victory downward? And now that terror has struck one of the four Las Vegas ExtendedStay Suites locations, is it safe to assume the Breezewood, Pennsylvania La Quinta Inn is next? How high-profile must the targets of the evildoers get to convince such haters (of America) as Michelle Obama that, hey, maybe it's not just a fear bomb John McCain is hanging over your head but FUTURE OF THE FREE WORLD???? Does any of this make sense? Try the REST of the compelling exchange between me and Megan Carpentier of the blogGlamocracy, after the jump. More »

Amanda "Hasselbeck 2.0" Carpenter Thinks Taxes Are "Too Tough" For Pink Feminazi Pinkoblogs

Moe — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:00:29 EST

Some props before I launch into today's galactic hatefest: Glamour, you done good with Glamocracy. God, that is a fucking imbecilic name, but not only do your political blogs' commenters prove that not all your readers are as dumb as your editors seem to assume, but some of the women you've chosen to write are pretty sharp. Now for the one who makes me reach for the sharp objects: Conserva Calendar Girl Amanda "Hasselbeck 2.0" Carpenter. Oh god she is a witty one:

The feminist blogosphere is up in arms because Mike Huckabee pardoned a rapist and signed a petition that asks women to "submit graciously" to their husbands, but these same bloggers give him a free pass on taxes. This make me think of that terribly stereotypical Teen Talk Barbie from a few Christmases back. "Math class is tough!" she said. I'd hate to think that taxes are too "tough" for the Barbie blogs to address today.

Okay Larry Summers, let me make this easy on you. Taxes are tough. The most refreshing least fascistic tenet of Huckabee's campaign is that he wants to actually acknowledge that. More »

New Glamour Blogger Amanda Carpenter Is Totes Hasselbeck 2.0

Moe — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:00:44 EST

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We totally missed the launch of Glamour's awesome political blog "Glamocracy" a few days ago, which is actually okay since I really needed to post something and I'm glad it doesn't have to involve constructing a more complex thought than "yay hate!" You see, they have a multitude of bloggers at Glamocracy, among them a Latina, a black...and a red-haired Hasselbeck! Her name is Amanda Carpenter, and she is not a fan of the poors:

Gains among the Gennifer Flowers set aren't surprising—Hillary has doggedly pitched programs (which are obviously unappealing to a conservative like me) such as universal healthcare, universal paid leave, and even $5,000 "baby bonds" to rally the low-income, uneducated women she enjoys strong support from. Her campaign even has a special name for them: "women with needs." Labels like this make me think Hillary is the woman in "need". As in, she "needs" taxpayer money to give to the women she "needs" votes from.

Oh, is that how that works? Too bad she never learned from your party how not to be so beholden. More »