Thank you, James Corden, for reminding me that I will never, ever stop wanting to be in an intimate student-mentor relationship with Jennifer Lopez.

On Tuesday night, J.Lo got in the front seat with the Late Late Show host for an installment of his very popular “Carpool Karaoke” series. Lopez was on the show to promote her very bad NBC show that I have nonetheless watched, Shades of Blue. Many important things happened; chiefly, though, Corden stole her phone and texted Leonardo DiCaprio for suggestions on how to “cut loose.”

Advertisement

“Hey baby, I’m kind of feeling like I need to cut loose. Any suggestions? Let me know, J.Lo (from the block),” Corden sent to DiCaprio from her phone, without permission. “You mean tonight, boo boo? Club-wise?” Leo responded. Oh my god!

Interspersed between impromptu duets (they did “My Love Don’t Cost a Thing,” “Booty,” “Jenny from the Block,” and at 7:50, a violent rendition of “Qué Hiciste”), Corden asked Lopez if her butt was really insured for $27 million—“NO!” she yelled. “There’s no such thing as that!”—and inquired about her most romantic moments.

What a thing to ask Jennifer Lopez. “I mean, I’ve had some amazing proposals,” she said with a dreamy look, adding that she has received a total of five (5), and has turned down a few. “How do you say no?” Corden asked. “You just say no,” J.Lo said. I cannot and likely never, ever will relate to this, and yet am feeling extremely empowered!

Advertisement

One of the best moments happens around 9:00, when we enter a master class in the most important move from the late 90's: the music video face-grab-armpit-sniff.

Stage One.
Stage Two.
Stage Three.
Stage Four.

Luh ya, mami.