Jezebel: Games

New Sega Games Use Men's Dicks as Controllers

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:00:00 EST

You know what's boring? Peeing standing up! We ladies wouldn't know this, but it's the worst— nothing to do but stare at the wall in front of you for the 10-30 seconds that it takes to urinate. Luckily, Sega has developed a solution for this pervasive problem and that solution, no duh, is video games for urinals. These games, which cost a mere two grand, use the accuracy of a man's pee stream for all sorts of fun stuff like shooting virtual "snot" at an opponent and controlling the amount that a woman's skirt flies up. It's number one in fun! More »

Find Yourself A Husband With Words With Friends

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:55:00 EST

A couple who met when they were randomly matched for a game of Words with Friends has taken their spelling-based relationship up a jillion notches by getting married. This means that a game so good it practically landed Alec Baldwin on the No Fly List is now responsible for just as many intact marriages as Kris Kardashian. More »

Michele Bachmann Concession Speech Mad Libs

Erin Gloria Ryan — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:00:00 EST

Former Presidential Candidate Michele Bachmann's historic and deluded run in the general direction of the White House is over, but that doesn't mean that the fun has to end! Make your own Michele Bachmann concession speech with these Michele Bachmann Concession Speech Mad Libs! More »

Michael Fassbender Plays 'Guess The Celebrity Penis,' Wins

Whitney Jefferson — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:00:00 EST

Michael Fassbender is an expert on celebrity penises. Don't believe me? Check him out as he participates in a game of "Members Only," a game in which he correctly identified the meat-and-potatoes of Harvey Keitel, Viggo Mortensen, and Watchmen's Dr. Manhattan (whose bright-blue member we thought was far too easy, by the way). The one celebrity schlong he couldn't place, however, was Jason Segel's — he must have missed its starring role in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, it would seem. More »

J.Lo Plans To Ruin Your Childhood Memories With Carmen Sandiego Movie

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 23:12:00 EDT

A live-action film based on Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego is in the works, which would be fine if Sandra Bullock was still slated to star. However, now it seems Jennifer Lopez may take the role. So far she's only signed on to produce, but the rumored plan is to drop the incognito geography lessons and turn the film into a vehicle for J.Lo. Deadline reports: More »

Woman Sent Directly To Jail After Monopoly Game Stabbing

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 23:18:49 EDT

According to statistics I just made up, half of all Monopoly games end with someone flipping over the board in anger, but a New Mexico women took things way too far when she repeatedly stabbed her boyfriend after a game. Both the woman and her boyfriend were drunk while battling it out for Park Place, and she accused him of cheating. The woman was arrested and her boyfriend is in stable condition. Clearly Monopoly is getting all too real, and yet I've still never never found a huge wad of cash in a parking spot. More »

Scrabble Player Demands Strip Search At Tournament

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Things took an ugly turn at the World Scrabble Championships in Warsaw, Poland when a Thai player accused England's Ed Martin of hiding a letter 'G', and demanded that he be taken to a bathroom and strip searched. Officials refused, and despite Martin's alleged devious scheme to form a whole host of words ending in "ing," neither man wound up winning the tournament. More »

How To Play Bad Date Bingo

Jenna Sauers — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 17:50:00 EDT

Ever had a bad date? Recover from the psychological wounds of SHINY BLACK SHOES, GOT TOO DRUNK, or CHAPPED LIPS with this handy-dandy bingo card! More »

The Winner Of The Gender Equality World Cup Is…

Mark Leon Goldberg — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 18:50:00 EDT

After two weeks of round robin play, the FIFA Women's World Cup is entering the semi-finals. More »

See Decades Of Little Old Ladies From 130 Years Of Old Maid

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 17:40:00 EDT

The origins of the card game Old Maid trace back to the 17th century, with players trying to form pairs out of all of their cards until someone—the loser—is left with the lonely, unmatched, single old maid. In the past 130 years, retail card decks have been produced specifically for Old Maid, always featuring illustrations of the dreaded losing card. In reviewing these decks that span three centuries, it's interesting to see how the Old Maid has evolved over the years and how the more things change, the more they stay the same. More »

Royal Wedding Bingo

Sadie Stein — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 17:15:00 EDT

You may not have won the heart of a man who may ascend the throne in late middle-age, but damned if you can't win Royal Wedding Bingo! More »

The Gossip's Lead Singer Beth Ditto Is A Fellow Fruit Ninja Enthusiast

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:28:00 EDT

The last page of Marie Claire's May issue features Beth Ditto talking about what's inside her handbag. The contents are refreshingly down-to-earth: "101" straggler earrings; a maxi pad; a Burger King receipt; a screwdriver. But Ditto also has an iPhone. On which she plays Fruit Ninja. She says: More »

Capture The Flag Puts Our Children In Danger

Sadie Stein — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 13:42:00 EDT

You'd think traditional kids games that get them moving — things like tag, or kickball — would be an unambiguously good thing. But that would be to underestimate the idiocy of political bureaucracy. More »

Could You Have Survived In The Victorian Era?

Sadie Stein — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 16:55:00 EDT

Only if you had computer games! Test your 19th century acumen with this nifty site. (I was batting .1000 until I wore a low-cut gown to a dinner party.) More »

Anti-Woman Legislation Mad Libs, Now In Handy Printout Form!

Erin Gloria Ryan — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 15:35:00 EST

Republicans have regained legislative power across America, and they're doing everything they can to follow through on their very important campaign promises to rein in spending and shrink the government and really help our children's children's children live out the American dream in a country free of international debt. Just kidding! They're spending all of their energy and political capital trying to pass laws that treat 51% of the population as subhumans incapable of making decisions for themselves. Why, just the other day, they helpfully voted to defund Planned Parenthood! Thanks, guys! More »

The Julian Assange Coloring Book Begs You To Deface Him

Irin Carmon — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 16:20:00 EST

Someone believes Julian Assange is not creepy enough in his natural state, and invites us to take artistic license. It's a metaphor about the wildly dissonant representations of him! Or something. Your best versions in the comments. More »

Have You Played The Black Swan Game?

Sadie Stein — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 12:15:00 EST

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"The party game is simple; all things can be paired up and divided into white swans and black swans. White swans have technique but black swans have essential style. The white swan is the brain…the black swan is the crotch. " More »

The Eat, Pray, Love Bingo Card Makes A Good Stocking-Stuffer

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 17:15:00 EST

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The DVD explaining how one woman found happiness in a beautiful beachy location with Javier Bardem comes out today, so don't forget our Eat, Pray, Love Bingo! It is easily transformed into a drinking game. Print from here. More »

Why Would A Real Life Woman Want To Be A Second Life Slave?

Nightflower — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 16:12:00 EDT

Gorean roleplay is one of the largest genres in Second Life, with 50,000+ estimated players. But because of the strong emphasis on female slavery and male domination, the women of Gor are frequently dismissed as damaged goods without self-esteem. More »

We'd Break The Law To Get The Wire Monopoly

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:50:00 EDT

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We have no idea why this fake The Wire-inspired Monopoly board isn't for sale—especially when it "reflects the chance element of life on the streets." More »

Choose Your Own Adventure Gets A Sexually Liberated Update

Sadie Stein — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:20:00 EDT

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We've been intrigued by "A Choice of Romance," the latest choose-your-own game, since we heard about it. Especially since it lets you choose betwixt the sexes! More »

Play Eat, Pray, Love Bingo!

Dodai Stewart & Sadie Stein — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 12:55:00 EDT

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Going to see ~~the amazing true story of one woman who took an extended vacation?~~ Eat, Pray, Love? Because everything's an excuse for unhealthy competition, print out our handy-dandy EPL Bingo scorecard and be the first to shout, "Namaste!" More »

Foolish Xbox Folk Assume All Gamers Are Boys

Anna North — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 19:03:00 EDT

When a blogger contacted Xbox Support about her account, she got a form letter with tips — for her son. But if Xbox assumes that all gamers are boys, it may be missing out on a growing market. More »

Sorority Life: Playing Facebook's Mean-Girl Game

Jessica Coen — Tue, 25 May 2010 13:00:51 EDT

The objective of Sorority Life is simple: to be the hottest sister on campus. As you might imagine, the game is both hugely popular and totally demented. And the players aren't who you would expect. More »

Will It Be A Tragedy If Girls Stop Playing With Dolls?

Irin Carmon — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 10:00:00 EDT

Some people think so. More »

Pink Ouija Board Declared "A Dangerous Spiritual Game," Possibly Destroying Our Children

Hortense Smith — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 16:20:00 EST

According to Stephen Phelan of Human Life International, Hasbro should be ashamed of itself for marketing Ouija boards to young girls, as "the Ouija board is actually is a portal to talk to spirits." And a pink portal, no less! More »

Pac-Man, Go, Simon & Dominoes

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:50:00 EST

And a bunch of other games… represented by cupcakes. Don't ask why. [Buzzfeed] More »

Scrabble Crusaders: Down With "Smoyle"

Anna North — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 10:45:00 EST

Scrabble purists are angry that the Facebook version of the game includes words not in the official Scrabble dictionary, including "Pernod" and "smoyle." Those with an especially large amount of time on their hands have even started protest groups. [DailyMail] More »

"Perceived Negatively When You Share Your Success With Others?" That's Bingo!

Anna North — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:30:00 EDT

On the heels of battle-of-the-sexes Trivial Pursuit comes Gender Bias Bingo, developed by a law professor "to teach people how to recognize gender bias when it happens to them." Submitting three examples of bias gets you a free t-shirt! [CHEd] More »

Who Needs Neuroscience When You've Got Trivial Pursuit?

Anna North — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:30:00 EDT

Hasbro has devised an online, boys-against-girls Trivial Pursuit game "to see if trivia can answer the age-old question:" who's smarter, men or women? We're sure questions about golf and seventies TV shows will resolve this issue for good. [Daily Mail] More »

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Anna Holmes — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:10:00 EDT

[San Francisco, August 19. Image via Getty]

New Video Games Teach Girls About Baby Couture, Flirting

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 09:20:00 EDT

While boys learn to beat prostitutes in Grand Theft Auto, video games teach girls important life skills too, like how to gossip their way onto the "Pretty Committee," woo Prince Charming, or fashionably attire an infant in Babyz Fashion. [Wired] More »

Love & Other Indoor Sports

Anna Holmes — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 09:20:00 EDT

"Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for the longest time with the fewest spills." Wait, didn't we do this back in 2007? [Vintage Ads] More »

The Cootie-Catcher: Blast From The Past, Glimpse Of The Future

Anna North — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:20:00 EDT

A piece of notebook paper once told me who I would marry. Actually this happened many times, revealing many different grooms, but my faith in the fortune-telling powers of cootie-catchers was never shaken. More »

U.S. Ban On Rape Simulation Game Not Likely

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:40:00 EDT

New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn is calling for a U.S. ban on the Japanese rape simulation video game RapeLay, but it's actually just one of a larger genre of disturbing games. More »

Amazon Drops Rape Simulation Video Game

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 15:30:00 EST

Reports across the pond claim that Amazon.com has stopped selling the game Rapelay, a Japanese video game that involves the player stalking victims and then raping them. More »

Your Life Story In Six Words

Sadie Stein — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:00:00 EST

"It has been a living hell." The premise of the bestseller Not Quite What I Was Planning — now deluxed and re-released for the holidays — is simple: sum up your life in six words. The results run the gamut from poignant — "On the playground, alone. 1970, today" — to needlepoint-pillow: "It got better after middle age." It's a surprisingly entertaining and telling game, as the contributions reveal. Match the celeb to his memoir*, after the jump! More »

From the American Institute for Overthinking...

Anna North — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:20:00 EST

From the American Institute for Overthinking (aka Play This Thing! via BoingBoing) comes this analysis of Candyland: "it is a metaphorical representation of the fundamental ideology of the United States; the past is no constraint on the future, and each individual should strive resolutely for personal advance despite whatever the past may hold. The child born in a log cabin may achieve the presidency, an immigrant boy who grows up in the slums of Brooklyn may become a real-estate magnate, an Ivy-educated scion of wealth may wind up on a bread line, and a double green will speed you to the fore." Also, it makes kids crave candy. [Play This Thing!] More »

Virtual Revenge

Maria — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 12:40:00 EDT

A 43-year-old Japanese woman was so angry that her avatar's online husband divorced her in the role-playing game Maple Story, that she logged into his account and "killed" him. The woman carried out the virtual murder in mid-May and was arrested on Wednesday for illegally accessing the computer of her online hubby's creator. If convicted, she could face a prison term of up to five years or a fine up to $5,000. The woman did not plot any revenge in the real world. [MSNBC] More »

The number of girl gamers is up, but will...

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 14:40:00 EDT

The number of girl gamers is up, but will women spend hours sitting in their mom's basement eating chips and tapping away on their pink bedazzled Nintendo DSs? 38% percent of video game players in the U.S. are female, up from 33% five years ago, according to IBISWorld, but the new problem for software companies is that women are more casual gamers than men. "The challenge is not to get them to play, but to get them to spend more of their time and money on games," says Anita Frazier, an industry analyst. But rather than creating complex, engrossing games aimed at women or recruiting more female game designers, software companies are just churning out more games about fashion, cooking, babies and makeup, according to Didi Carduso, managing editor of Grrlgamers.com, a video game review site produced by women. "I think a girl's world is a little bigger than that," she said. [Reuters] More »