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Do you ever feel like everyone is just terrible? Everyone thinks you're terrible, too. Especially if you're a woman. More »
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Buying gifts for people you like is hard enough, but what about people you loathe? Herewith, some excellent passive-aggressive presents that put that stocking full of coal to shame. More »
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I'm So Happy For You, a new novel by novelist Lucinda Rosenfeld, makes female friendships seem like a supremely unpleasant, never-ending status game. More »
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A few years ago a college friend introduced me to a childhood acquaintance. We all went out for Korean barbecue, talked about movies and had a good time. "Emily seems nice," I commented to my friend as we got on the subway. There was a silence. "She's going to try to annex you," said my friend grimly. "Just be aware." Sure enough, the next day I got a call from Emily suggesting we hang out, just the two of us. Apparently she had a history of this — what LifeWire writer Sarah Jio identifies as "social poaching —- when a friend or acquaintance mines your social network, without permission, for friends or romantic partners." More »
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We get a lot of emails to the tips line. Most are, well, tips (and much-appreciated!) A lot are spam or stupid pitches from publicists. This morning, hot on the heels of another missive castigating us for not blogging a story one overly-entitled reader deemed of utmost personal importance — "hopefully someone will blog about it today, if you think it's important enough that is" (italics ours) — we got another note, this time from a holier-than-thou, pretentious twit we'll call "Dylan White". Dylan has an issue with a post Dodai did about frenemies. Says one Jezebel: "My guess is that this guy just took Psych 101, and wishes to share his insight with us. And the parental issues line is weird. Projecting, perhaps? The PS completely defeats his entire argument. He rails on and on about proper ways to handle conflict, and then tosses out some stupid remark like that? Whatever." Says another: "Dude, it's a blog post, not an academic paper." Says me: Get off my deputy's ass. The email, after the jump. More »
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Yeah, yeah we know: the Times has a ludicrous article up about brides who pressure their bridesmaids, mothers and mothers-in-law to get Botox, boob jobs and chemical peels for their most special of special days. And yes, it's a disgusting display of materialism, looksism, narcissism and many other unfortunate -isms that we would not like to be associated with. But what I find more interesting is the friendship dynamics at play. Dodai already covered frenemies earlier today, and I wouldn't even say the women in this piece are frenemies, because no one seems to be insulted when their soon to-be-wed buddy suggests they get a little freshening up. Actually, they're delighted, because getting these treatments is the norm in their social circle. I think what this article is really about is how our friends' cosmetic choices affect our own self-images. More »
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I've had a frenemy or two. Haven't we all? The thing that pisses me off about this article in the Daily News (title: "From Frenemies To Player HateHERS, Women Just Can't Get Along") is that they make it seem like this is an exclusively female phenomenon. Writes Leah Chernikoff, "There are different types of frenemies… There are 'black holes' who bring constant drama and are always in crisis. There are frenemies who'd rather hear about how miserable you are than hear about the successes in your life. Then there are the fair-weather frenemies who only want to see you when they're single, and ditch you as soon as they pick up with a new guy… So why do women act this way?" Here comes the old women-are-sensitive-creatures-at-the-mercy-of-their-emotions bullshit. When Chernikoff asks, "Why do women act this way?" here's what she gets: More »
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