Frequent Fox News Guest Arrested For Totally Inventing CIA Past

Frequent Fox News guest Wayne Simmons has basically built his career around the fact that he was an Outside Paramilitary Special Operations Officer for the CIA from 1973 to 2000. Unfortunately, he was never a CIA official; he was just a criminal.

On Thursday, the 62-year-old Annapolis resident was arrested for major fraud, wire fraud, and making false statements to the government. An FBI press release outlines that Simmons used his made-up background “in an attempt to obtain government security clearances and work as a defense contractor, including at one point successfully getting deployed overseas as an intelligence advisor to senior military personnel.”

The Huffington Post reports:

In court documents, federal prosecutors alleged that Simmons had a “significant criminal history, including convictions for a crime of violence and firearms offenses, and is believed to have had an ongoing association with firearms notwithstanding those felony convictions” They successfully petitioned a judge to keep Simmons’ indictment sealed until his arrest today, noting that Simmons “has a history of acting in an aggressive manner, and is likely aware of the imminent nature of the charges in this case.”

He also, and this is the greatest excuse of all time, claimed that past criminal convictions on his record “were directly related to his supposed intelligence work for the CIA, and that he had previously held a top secret security clearance.”

However, that Simmons managed to convince Fox News of his national security expertise is not quite as appalling considering that he also managed to convince the United States government of it too.

Look out for Special Ops: The Wayne Simmons Story starring Leo DiCaprio, Fall 2018.

Correction: Headline has been changed to better reflect Wayne Simmons’ role with Fox News.