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Forget the best thing since sliced bread, because it turns out sliced bread is actually the worst thing ever—okay, not ever, but it is the worst in terms of sodium content. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention compiled the list of the top 10 sources of sodium in our diet, and bread and rolls came in at the number one spot. The ten foods on the list are responsible for a whopping 44 percent of the sodium we consume on a daily basis. More »
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As if feeding a baby wasn't difficult enough already, new research has come out that can give you a nice complex about whether you are force feeding your children and making them fat. Are you ready for a nice big bite of delicious concern? Open wide. More »
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Does this bread look like a tiger? No, it looks like a giraffe! And Lily Robinson, age 3, wasn't going to stand for it anymore. With the help of her mom, she wrote a letter British chain Sainsbury's, which sold the bread. This touched off a mass Facebook campaign, and this week, the store caved: "In response to overwhelming customer feedback that our Tiger Bread has more resemblance to a giraffe, from today we will be changing our Tiger Bread to Giraffe Bread and seeing how that goes." More »
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Sugar is delicious. It makes a bad day a little brighter; it makes food taste a little better; it makes cupcakes and pies. Sure, it may not be good for us, but why would we ever want to get rid of it? Well, we wouldn't want to, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't. At least that's what a new commentary published in the most recent issue of Nature argues. It may not be a bad idea, but you can bet there will be a whole nation of sweet-toothed people clutching their candy necklaces and screaming, "Do not fucking touch my dessert!" More »
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Fans of Mickey D's rejoice, they've suspended their practice of using pink slime in your burgers. Oh, sorry, you didn't know that your "100% pure beef patty" was loaded with the pink gooey mess you see above? Yeah, well, it was. The pink slime is technically meat, because it begins life as a pile of beef scraps, or "select lean beef trimmings," as McD's calls them. The scraps are then soaked in ammonium hydroxide (also used as a household cleaner and in fertilizers), which bleaches the meat and kills all the bacteria that was clinging to it. Then it's ground up and extruded like a giant neon snake of nastiness, before being added into those burgers you so love. More »
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Frozen diet meals cater to that particular — and vast — demographic of people who are at once lazy and calorie-conscious. Like some of us here. Despite common sense, we believe that we're popping a healthy and satisfying dinner in the microwave; the box show us so! That dinner looks so delicious, so fresh, doesn't it? In reality, however, it's all just a big pile of soft wet stuff that, with any luck, is at least made with "convincing" ingredients — like when the fake cheese actually tastes like real cheese. See, we're buying into the fantasy of a suitable dinner. Sound familiar? It should, because these frozen dinners are marketed to ladies like pretty much everything else: fantasy eyelashes, fantasy skin, fantasy fashion...fantasy dinners. Herewith, the reality of what eating three weeks worth of Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines actually looks like. More »
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Let's take a moment today to salute a brave American hero. A man who saw through the amoral haze of today's society and who had the courage to stand up for what's right, even in the face of an unstoppable tide of modernity and vice. That man is Oklahoma legislator Ralph Shortey. And that fearless act of bravery was his introduction of a bill that would ban adding aborted human fetuses to food. Your babyeating ways will no longer be tolerated, Sooners. Be warned. More »
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A large new study has found that eating fried foods doesn't increase your risk of heart disease. One caveat: the study was conducted in Spain, where people mostly fry stuff in olive or sunflower oil. So deep-frying a chicken in a bucket of lard could still be a no-no. More »
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Here's a little something for you from the department of counterintuitive findings: It turns out that selling junk food in schools doesn't actually have anything to do with making kids being obese. Are you fucking kidding me? After the countless hand motions we've all wasted scrolling through articles urging us to purge every last french fry and 4,246-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew from our schools, now just nevermind? Apparently so. More »
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This morbidly obese animal is clearly either a member of the leisure class or isolated on a food island where only banana trees can grow. It's also adorable the way it tries to hold the banana like it's people and, unlike a lot of people in the world, it evidently has an unlimited access to all the potassium-rich foods it can get its little whiskies around. As this creature enjoyed its tropical snack, two things were happening in the Southern Hemisphere: a person was staring up hungrily at a denuded banana tree and an obese orangutan was stuffing its face with carrots. You know, because everything's backwards and wacky down there! More »
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These days, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting at least three cupcakeries (side note: stop swinging dead cats). You know the places — they have mismatched chairs and vintage wallpaper. They're staffed by cute girls with perfect bangs and all of the cupcakes have clever names like "The National Velvet." The cupcake trend, even with all this talk of the macaron and great donut revival, is still in full swing, but do you know what goes into the making of those charming little cakes? According to this infograph, it's a lot more than you'd think. More »
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This morning, Paula Deen was on the Today show, confirming that yes, she does have type 2 diabetes. And, she was diagnosed three years ago. "It is not a death sentence," Deen asserted. Still: Diabetes is a serious disease — the American Diabetes Association notes that diabetes causes more deaths a year than breast cancer and AIDS combined. Genetic factors contribute to the disease, but "lifestyle factors" — diet and excess body fat — are also part of the cause. But Deen's not going to get into that. More »
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McDonald's latest ads have sparked a minor trend on Twitter and Facebook, so don't be surprised if some tool remarks that you're the "Egg McMuffin" of something. Still confused? Basically if someone calls you the "Egg McMuffin of girlfriends," they mean they crave you mainly when they've been drinking too much and already feel shitty about themselves. And you're greasy. More »
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The folks at General Mills thought consumers would be excited that Cheerios now comes in peanut butter flavor, but parents of children with allergies are very upset about the new cereal. Though the box clearly indicates what's inside, they're concerned because Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter look like other varieties of Cheerios. PaGina Clowes, founder of the support group Allergy Moms, says, "I know some allergy families that currently buy Cheerios are vowing not to buy them at all for fear of cross contact while processing and to avoid confusion in their own homes." More »
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Start stockpiling your cream and preservative filled snack cakes: Hostess is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Again. More »
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As every late night infomercial for electrodes that give you sexy abs tells you: dieting is terrible. No one likes dieting. In fact, it seems the only people who like dieting are involved in the dieting industry, and they stand to profit immensely from people's desire to be lose weight. To make matters worse, research keeps showing us that bodies work as hard as they can against diets, making them even more difficult to master. In that spirit, here are 5 new, awful ways to grow cranky and demoralized this year without losing weight. More »
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Girl Scout Cookie season is nearly upon us, and this year there's a new cookie being introduced to celebrate the organization's 100th anniversary: Savannah Smiles. The "cool and crisp lemon wedge cookie" is named for Girl Scout Founder Juliette Gordon Low's home town. The flavor doesn't sound all that exciting, but the Girl Scouts have yet to lead us astray. More »
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Don't let Wendy's impress you with its "Baconator" hamburger. While we only get to choose how many beef patties we want on the troublingly named Dave's Hot 'N Juicy burger, the chain is saving the good stuff for customers in Japan. Two years after leaving the country, the company has opened a new restaurant in Tokyo, which has a $16 foie gras burger and truffle-topped chicken sandwich. We'd actually rather go with chicken nuggets and a Frosty, but we're offended on principle. More »
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If you always assumed grocery stores were designed to be equally unpleasant places for both men and women to shop, you thought wrong. It turns out that from the start, stores have been subtly geared toward being more accessible and friendly for women, who were, after all, their primary customers for many years. But now all that is changing. According to the Chicago Tribune, men are increasingly taking over food shopping duties for their families, and this is revolutionizing the way stores serve their customers, even leading to the creation of the "man aisle," a ridiculous-sounding safe space for male shoppers. More »
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A 23-year-old student who lived on melted snow and candy bars during a 9 day ordeal in remote Arizona says she's thankful to be alive. And that's the last time she house sits at Dakota Fanning's ski chalet. More »
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The Pampered Chef company is recalling 20,000 of its liquid-filled ice cream scoops because, according to Reuters, when exposed to warm water "the cap and seal at the end of the scoop handle can fly off with substantial force." These dessert-helpers-turned-grenades have caused cuts and bruises, as well as damage to kitchen equipment. Perhaps they could make good gifts for people you hate. More »
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In the year 2012, Americans will likely spend more than sixty billion dollars on diets.  95% of those diets will result in people being as heavy or heavier than they started, with the medical dangers involved with weight cycling, and having taken the self-esteem hit of trying and failing at a diet. More »
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Those who say there's nothing wrong with continuing to count pizza and french fries as vegetables in school lunches often argue that if you try to feed kids healthier foods they'll refuse to eat them. The Los Angeles Unified School District's revamped lunch program seems to prove that point. Students have been complaining about the healthier lunches that were introduced this semester, but it's unclear if the food being more nutritious is really the heart of the problem. More »
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If you go to the store and buy a package of chewy chocolate chip cookies and try to pawn them off onto other families at your child's school bake sale, head of the New York Times' confection Staatssicherheit Jennifer Steinhauer thinks you should be locked up with all the bear wrestlers in Alabama so you can think about the cultural damage you're doing to America's proud pot-luck tradition of foisting slimy pineapple upside-down cakes onto friends and neighbors.  In her article, "‘Store-Bought' Spoils the Pot Luck Spirit," Steinhauer explains how those mothers who use flimsy excuses like full-time jobs to avoid breaking out the electric mixer for a school bake sale are part of a more insidious trend of substituting store-bought for homemade food, a trend, by the way, that is eroding one of pillars of the American middle-class: pot-luck.  Is nothing sacred?  Lest you still can't grasp just how egregious the store-bough sin is, Steinhauer is ready to re-frame her outrage in even more domestic terms: More »
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The first time Georgia Pellegrini killed a turkey with her hands, she wanted to become a vegan. The investment banker turned chef was required to end the bird's life as part of her job at a farm-to-table restaurant in the Hudson Valley. But instead of causing her to swear off animal products altogether, killing the turkey woke a dormant instinct in her. Now she's an accomplished hunter, and she has tips to share with you. More »
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The Australian government just approved the use of sodium carboxymethyl cellulose in wine, a chemical that can prevent crystallization and cloudiness, and also acts as a laxative. The additive has already been okayed by the European Union, but it's banned in the United States. Though, any imported wines are allowed to contain it, and consumers will have no idea because it's not listed on packaging. A representative from the Wine Institute, the trade group for California's wine industry, says, "I don't think the levels that are approved for use in wine in the EU and Australia will give that laxative effect." Well, that's encouraging — though perhaps winemakers should be turning this property into a selling point. Americans love yogurt that makes them poop, and wine is much more delicious. More »
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In the ongoing war against childhood obesity, manufacturers of children's cereal are the real heroes. That is, if you're hoping that "obesity" wins— researchers have discovered that some cereal marketed to kids contains more sugar than a candy bar. More »
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New research from the Department of Creating Concern has found that people who eat more rice have elevated levels of arsenic in their bodies. This bodes especially poorly for pregnant women and people who enjoy nothing more than a big bowl of rice washed down by a glass of arsenic-laden apple juice. If you do this, please stop. While this flavor combination make make you feel unbelievably nutritionally fortified, ensuing slow and painful death will follow you like a thief in the night. More »
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Two separate incidents of questionable requests at fast food restaurants have led for renewed calls from the nation's lazy, horny potheads for diversified services at burger joints. More »
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Recently Dr. Oz whipped parents into a frenzy by reporting that apple juice contains dangerous levels of arsenic. The FDA fired back that America's resident poop expert had flubbed his results by testing for both safe organic arsenic and harmful inorganic arsenic, and said issuing warnings about kids drinking juice was irresponsible. However, yesterday Consumer Reports released its own study that found apple juice and grape juice contain unacceptably high levels of arsenic, and suddenly the FDA's decided that reexamining the amount of toxins allowed in juice is an excellent idea. More »
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Congress, in its ceaseless effort to offer creative palliatives to the soothe the country's economic afflictions, has decided that it's okay to send that pony you got for your tenth birthday and neglected because you were only prepared to brush its mane and feed it sugar cubes once a week to the slaughterhouse.  Lawmakers sneakily lifted a five-year ban on funding for inspections of horse meat intended for human consumption as part of the spending bill President Obama signed on November 18 to keep the government chugging along until the 2012 apocalypse gets a little closer and Congress can more effectively implement its "end of the world" t-shirt selling campaign to fill its empty coffers. More »
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Coca-Cola has certainly learned its lesson about trying to highlight the plight of the polar bear. Just a month after its debut, the company is phasing out its mostly-white holiday cans, which were meant to draw attention to how global warming is threatening polar bears (and Coke's contribution of up to $3 million to the World Wildlife Fund for conservation efforts). More »
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San Francisco's ban on Happy Meal toys goes into effect tomorrow, but McDonald's has already devised a plan that will allow them to keep selling the toys, and may even encourage sales of the kids' meals. Since restaurants in the city can't include a toy with a meal that doesn't meet certain nutritional standards, the chain is simply allowing parents to buy the toy with the meal for an additional 10 cents, which will go to Ronald McDonald House charities. Previously, if kids were begging for the plastic blob du jour, parents could buy it without the meal for $2.18. Now if they want the toy, they have to buy it along with the full meal. More »
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These are rough economic times, but thankfully a young woman has developed a way to get strangers to cover your entire food budget, including the occasional bottle of $200 champagne. All you need to do is aggressively court men on Match.com and set up a complex dinner date schedule that keeps you well-fed throughout the week. It also helps if you have few compunctions about leading the guys on, and don't mind internet commenters referring to you by a variety of sexual slurs. More »
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Here's another way you can (allegedly) trick yourself into eating less: get yourself a new table (or a bunch of new plates). A new study suggests that the color contrast between your plates, your table, and your food can influence how much you eat. More »
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If you hosted Thanksgiving dinner last night, or if you're staying with someone who did, you're probably faced with a fridge-full of delicious and less-delicious foodstuffs. What's your plan of attack? More »
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Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily recommendation of random things that we've actually spent our own money on. These are the things we buy regularly or really like, things we'd actually tell our friends about. And now we're telling you. More »
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Aunt Marie has some advice for those of you still debating whether your bird will be brined, barbecued, deep-fried, or wrapped in a paper bag come tomorrow afternoon: "Just put the fucking turkey in the oven." According to her, "turkey never really tastes good" anyway. More »
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A woman who calls herself The Black Widow is thankful for her giant stomach capacity this year after defeating six men to win a turkey eating contest in Manhattan. Finally, the battle of the sexes has been decidedly won. All that the Spice Girls worked for has come to fruition. More »
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Is there anything more fun than being under surveillance by the Friends and Family Food Police at the holidays?  There are only a couple of things that I can think of –- root canal, shaving my head with a cheese grater, a fish hook in my eye… More »
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