Recently, in the waters off Boston, a Massachusetts man encountered some sort of water-dwelling creature that he could not identify. He was flummoxed, and vocal in his amazement. Here are some very real lines from the resulting video footage:

“Jay says its a fuckin’ big sea turtle.”

“Holy shit, look at this fuckin’ thing!”

“It’s a baby fuckin’ whale, man! Holy shit, we are witnessing a baby fuckin’ whale right here, dude!”

“Jay that thing is hurt, bro.”

“That thing looks dead, man!”

“We gotta call the aquarium or something, dude.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“Holy shit, what the fuck is that?”

“Oh man, we’re calling the Coast Guard. Holy shit.”

“Let’s fucking hook that shit, and we’ll be on the fuckin’ news, man.”

According to the Boston Globe, the mysterious creature is actually a sunfish. Truly, the ocean is full of wonders. Please enjoy the footage.


Contact the author at kelly@jezebel.com.