'Fit Mom' Has Predictably Glorious Response to Her Critics, Yet Again

"Fit Mom," the woman who just won't stop calling you a lazy, fat asshole for not looking like her, is back. This time, she's offering up a response to blowback she's gotten after a recent news profile.

News10 in Sacremento, California recently ran a story about Maria Kang, aka "Fit Mom" and the latest shitstorm she's kicked up regarding this bizarrely annotated photo of herself she released. OK, typical local news fodder (Kang is from Sacramento, which is why they opted to cover the story).

Naturally, the online community responded with glee and joy at the idea of Kang being a newsworthy topic. And by "glee and joy" I mean they talked a whole lot of shit on News10's Facebook page.

As a professional news-ishy veteran, let me just tell you first off—people who comment on local news station Facebook pages are absolutely out of their minds. They are all insane, with very few exceptions. It doesn't matter who you are or how brilliant or cultured you are, commenting on the Facebook page of a news station morphs you into one of the background extras on Duck Dynasty. If Albert Einstein left a comment on a local news station Facebook page, it would be "i am so desgusted by this story why don u cover real news!!!"

Soon Kang decided to jump into it, too. She left this comment on the News 10 Facebook post. It's like a cross between a doctoral thesis in cellular biology, a W.H. Auden poem and the sound of a cat trying to eat a piece of Starburst candy:

"For those of you who think me as un-newsworthy, I agree. I wish people (and News10) focused on the No Excuse Mom Movement - an endeavor that has rallied moms everywhere to create 800 free workout locations in 23 countries in just two months. I hope we can start showcasing some 'positive news' as I am a proud Sacramento resident who is trying to make worldwide difference.

'Fit Mom' Has Predictably Glorious Response to Her Critics, Yet Again

So, does everyone understand now? Fit Mom is trying to make "worldwide difference" by showing everyone her slammin' muscle thighs and totally toned upper arms. Good; glad that's settled then.