Topical pegs! We've all gotta face newsfeeds full of them. But when something comes along that's as culturally dominating as Fifty Shades of Grey has been for the last three fucking years, they sure can get grating.

Following are fifty of those stories, each of which is tied to the Fifty Shades of Grey book or film with varying levels of tenuousness. Enjoy, and get ready for years more of this.

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There are two sequels on the way, allegedly. Why doesn't reality have a safe word? :(

  1. 'Fifty Shades of Hay,' the story so far
  2. Fifty Shades of S'mores
  3. Fifty Shades of Racist
  4. Fifty Shades of Grape
  5. More than Fifty Shades of Red
  6. Fifty Shades of Beige: Staking Stylish Ground in Pre-Fall's Neutral Territory
  7. Fifty Shades of Saffron
  8. Fifty Shades of Frustration: Why do Women Hate Best Buy?
  9. Fifty Shades of Full Value
  10. Review: The Great Gatsby: Fifty Shades of Jay
  11. Fifty Shades of Zef
  12. Fifty Shades of Duality
  13. Fifty Shades of Danish
  14. The Hebrew Hillbilly: Fifty Shades of Oy Vey!
  15. Fifty Shades of Blue
  16. Fifty Shades of Purple
  17. Fifty Shades of Gold
  18. Fifty Shades of Darkness
  19. Don't Miss This! Fifty Shades of Bambi
  20. 'Fifty Shades of Grain' Features Artistic Woodwork
  21. A Party That's Fifty Shades of Pink: What Japan's Cherry Blossom Festival is Really Like
  22. Fifty Shades of Tarot: The Cups
  23. Fifty Shades of Lava Cake
  24. Fifty Shades of Melody
  25. Tamarac Corruption Trial: Fifty Shades of Green
  26. Fifty Shades of Dog
  27. Fifty Shades of CNG
  28. Fifty Shades of Fire Service Leadership
  29. Fifty Shades of Snova Scotia Snow
  30. Fifty Shades of Sunny Leone
  31. Fifty Shades of Jealousy: Dogs Have a Variety of Emotions, Thanks Mostly to Us
  32. Fifty Shades of Tan
  33. Statitudes: Fifty Shades of Green and Yellow
  34. Fifty Shades of Nuclear Energy
  35. Rita Ora is Fifty Shades of Flawless on the cover of Cosmopolitan
  36. 2015 One Act Festival Promises 'Fifty Shades of Funny'
  37. Fifty Shades of FMCSA
  38. Fifty Shades of Social Media Measurement Tools
  39. Fifty Shades of Black
  40. Fifty Shades of White And a Touch of Red; Red Foxes in The Snow
  41. Fifty Shades of Griechenland
  42. Top Dog: PetSet Hosts Fifty Shades of Masquerade Halloween Party
  43. Fifty Shades of Len Brown and Democracy
  44. Hot Mess Alert! Heidi Klum in Fifty Shades of Red on Fashion Police
  45. Fifty Shades of Autumn: Your Autumnal Pictures
  46. Fifty Shades of... Blame? Common Excuses for Not Succeeding at Work
  47. Fifty Shades of Stalin
  48. Fifty Shades of Shady
  49. Brave New Workshop's New Show Fifty Shades of Gravy to Begin February 6th
  50. Facebook 'news' is Fifty Shades of Truth

Image via Shutterstock.