Jezebel: Fast Food

Screw the Drive-Thru, Burger King Is Now Offering Home Delivery

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:55:00 EST

It used to be that you had to drive to a fast food restaurant, park your car, and walk all the way inside to order. Then came the advent of the drive-thru, and it became all the more easy to say, yes, in fact, I would like fries with that. And now, finally, the last barrier between you and a giant, gooey manufactured meal has been removed: Burger King will now deliver right to your door. More »

Japanese Wendy's Is Way Classier Than American Wendy's

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 09:30:00 EST

Don't let Wendy's impress you with its "Baconator" hamburger. While we only get to choose how many beef patties we want on the troublingly named Dave's Hot 'N Juicy burger, the chain is saving the good stuff for customers in Japan. Two years after leaving the country, the company has opened a new restaurant in Tokyo, which has a $16 foie gras burger and truffle-topped chicken sandwich. We'd actually rather go with chicken nuggets and a Frosty, but we're offended on principle. More »

Enterprising Fast Food Patrons Request Sex, Blunts With Burgers, Fries

Erin Gloria Ryan — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 19:20:00 EST

Two separate incidents of questionable requests at fast food restaurants have led for renewed calls from the nation's lazy, horny potheads for diversified services at burger joints. More »

The McRib Is Actually The McPigIntestines

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:15:00 EDT

The McRib is only back through November 14th, but the internet has helpfully come up with a way to ensure you won't miss it much once it's gone: Analyzing the contents of the mysterious sandwich. The reconstituted pork-based patty probably contains tripe, heart, and scalded stomachs. That may sound a bit gross to some, but they're all edible meats already found in products like sausages. Surprisingly, the bun seems more troubling. It contains a tiny amount of azodicarbonamide, which is banned as a food additive in Europe and Australia. The flour-bleaching agent is often used in foamed plastics, like those found in gym mats and shoe soles. On the other hand, when one order a McRib it's for the novelty, not because it's the foundation of a healthy diet. More »

Sad Sacks Rejoice as McDonald's Launches In-Restaurant TV Channel

Erin Gloria Ryan — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:20:00 EDT

America is suffering from a current lack of screens on every possible fucking surface, says no one. So it's no surprise that McDonalds is getting in on the action by launching its own in-restaurant TV channel, so its patrons taking comfort in their sandwiches made of chemicals designed to approximate meat and contemplate how much further they'd have to fall in order to hit rock bottom. More »

Heinz Puts Way Too Much Thought Into Revamped Ketchup Packet

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 14:35:00 EDT

Heinz ketchup packets have looked the same since 1968, but now the company is rolling out a radical new design. The new "dip and squeeze" packets hold three times as much ketchup and they can be squeezed out one end, or the foil can be pulled back for dipping. It seems like a simple concept, but for some reason it took the company three years to figure out that people want a tub/packet hybrid. The Wall Street Journal reports: More »

RIP, Creepy King From Burger King

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Burger King has a new strategy that involves attracting moms by jumping on the marginally healthy bandwagon — and that means dumping the "King" character. Ads for the limited edition California Whopper (made with guacamole, Swiss cheese, and bacon) will launch this weekend and feature only shots of fresh ingredients being prepared. More »

Fast Food Restaurants Outnumber Grocery Stores In America 5:1

Lane Moore — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 13:40:00 EDT

Granted, the list of disturbing trends in America right now is mighty long, but the fact that the ratio of fast food restaurants to grocery stores is 5:1 deserves a place in the ranks: More »

France Readies Itself For McBaguettes

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 11:18:00 EDT

McDonald's knows how to make authentic cultural cuisine. Just ask any Irish person about their Shamrock shakes! So the French must be psyched about the company's announcement that it will soon add baguettes to its menu in France. For too long the French have been forced to buy their bread at traditional boulangeries. Finally, they can enjoy mystery meats on hard, mass-produced hunks of baguette. More »

Happy Meals Now Include Less Fries, More Fruits & Vegetables

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 09:55:00 EDT

As part of its ongoing campaign to convince health advocates that it isn't callously filling children's bellies with wildly unhealthy foods, McDonald's has decided to make fruits and vegetables part of every Happy Meal. Parents can already swap fries for sliced apples and low-fat caramel sauce, but only 11% of meals are served with "Apple Dippers." Now the chain has halved serving of french fries and included a healthy side dish which could consist of apples, carrots, raisins, pineapple slices, or mandarin oranges. McDonald's is hoping the move will make parents feel better about ordering Happy Meals for their kids, even though most of the healthy snacks will probably remain in the bottom of the box. More »

Michelle Obama's 1700-Calorie Shake Shack Meal Causes Minor Freakout

Whitney Jefferson — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 11:55:00 EDT

Here's a crap story about the FLOTUS, who made an visit to a newly-opened Shake Shack in Washington, D.C. The obvious implication here is that because Michelle Obama is a champion of child nutrition, involves herself in a national effort to get people moving (not to mention fit enough to do the Dougie), and helped to rid the country of our dated food pyramid, she's not allowed to indulge. The offending order went as follows: a burger (490 calories), chocolate shake (790 calories), and french fries (470 calories) — wait, what? I'm sorry, I just fell out of my drool-soaked chair. More »

January Jones's Diet Includes Fast Food

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 17 May 2011 17:15:00 EDT

The woman who plays Betty Draper says: "I'll stop at McDonald's and get a strawberry shake and fries and not feel guilty at all, because I deserve it." More »

Are Jamba Juice Smoothies Glorified Junk Food?

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 11:04:00 EST

Inspired by the recent revelation that McDonald's has managed to make oatmeal unhealthy, Mother Jones is going after the Jamba Juice smoothie. Ashley Bates complains that the chain has ruined the blended concoction, which she makes at home with fruit, ice, and skim milk. She writes: More »

The Top Stories On Jezebel In 2010

Irin Carmon — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 18:40:24 EST

Here are a few things that the Internet loves: Fucking; Photoshop, fast food; Cats. Itself. And sexism, too! We had it all this year. Check out the most-read stories of the year and you'll see what we mean. More »

McDonald's Sued Over Happy Meal Toys

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 09:25:00 EST

The Center for Science in the Public Interest is suing McDonald's, accusing the chain of unfair marketing for using Happy Meal toys to lure children. A McDonald's rep responded, "Parents consistently tell us they approve of our Happy Meals." More »

What Fast Food Really Looks Like

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 14:04:00 EST

A side-by-side comparison of fast food as it's pictured in advertising versus the food you actually purchase is even more of a fail than you'd think. More »

Hong Kong McDonald's To Offer Nuptial Packages

Katie Luscombe — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 09:22:00 EDT

Do you have especially fond memories of your 9th birthday party under the golden arches? Then McDonald's Hong Kong has the wedding package of your dreams! Plus, a Happy Meal can make a wonderful keepsake for your guests. More »

Wendy's Incredibly Awesome Employee Training Videos

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:53:00 EDT

Judging from these Wendy's training videos, in the '80s people could only understand instructions when presented in pop song format. In "Hot Drinks," we learn working in fast food is just as exciting as starring in a Michael Jackson knockoff. More »

Blogger Calls KFC/Susan G. Komen Pairing "Just Reprehensible"

Katy Kelleher — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 10:20:00 EDT

"In effect Susan G. Komen for the Cure... is helping to fuel unhealthy diets and obesity across America, an odd plan given that diet and obesity certainly impact on both the incidence and recurrence of breast cancer." [Weighty Matters] More »

Fast Food Chains Say Sexy Ads "Generate Positive Consumer Sales"

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:20:00 EDT

Today, GMA reported on the trend of overtly sexual ad campaigns in the fast food industry. Chains like Burger King and Hardees — the latter creatively promotes its Biscuit Holes — responded to inquiries, saying basically, sex sells. More »

Blow Job Jokes Abound With Gross New BK Ad

Katy Kelleher — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:00:00 EDT

Oh brother. "It'll blow your mind away," reads this new and annoying ad (via Singapore) from Burger King, which illustrates rather explicitly the link between food and sex, but in the most disturbing way. More »

Healthier Menu Options Lead To Less Healthy Choices

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:20:00 EDT

Fast food restaurants added salad to their menus in recent years to make their food seem healthier, but according to new research having salad on the menu only makes you more likely to order fries. More »

Hello Happy Meal!

Sadie Stein — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 10:20:00 EST

Coming to a McDonald's near you: a series of Happy Meal watches featuring Sanrio characters like Hello Kitty, Chococat, My Melody, or our personal favorite, The Little Twin Stars. Collect them all! [Adrants] More »

Mississippi To Ban Fat People From Eating In Public!?

Moe — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 12:00:00 EST

The Mississippi State House is proposing a law that would ban restaurants from serving people with a BMI higher than 30. On one hand, of course, you could say that's no worse than laws preventing bartenders from serving another shot of whiskey to that guy who just chipped a tooth falling off his stool. On the other hand, of course, an obese person is not going to use the opportunity afforded by an unnecessary plate of chicken and dumplings to pinch the ass of the waitress, puke in the bathroom sink, take a piss next to your dumpster and ram into an oncoming car on the way home, so there's really not much of a comparison. More seriously though, would it work? Wouldn't the nation's fat people, faces hot with the shame of being weighed publicly on a scale outside the Outback Steakhouse, simply drive straight to the nearest convenience store and pick up a few pints of Karamel Sutra to cool off? Aren't our seriously fat citizens too poor to indulge in that much Panera bread anyway? Moreover, did Rep. W.T. Mayhall not hear? Americans are officially no longer the fats of the world. Just like with that whole economy racket, we're being surpassed by the Euros! More »

McDonald's: Men's Health Joins Jezebel In Lovin' It

Moe — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:00:05 EST

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Men's Health rates the "Worst Foods In America" this month, accompanied by all these disgust-porn photos of the types of meals that seem like a really good idea when you're drunk. And guess who comes out a winner? That's right, my very favorite restaurant chain, McDonald's. Well, actually, Chick-fil-A was the big winner, as none of their entrees contains more than 500 calories, but don't they fund terrorism or somesuch? I don't know, you guys can Google that shit for me, but seriously, reading this story you will learn all sorts of pro-McDonald's factoids such as for the calories of a Bob Evans Caramel Banana Pecan Cream Stacked and Stuffed Hotcakes platter you could eat five Egg McMuffins, and still have calories left over for a latte. Of the Chili's Paradise Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream, the magazine says:

Would you eat a Big Mac for dessert? How about three??

Everyone Should Just Give It Up And Join Us At McDonald's

Moe — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 10:58:08 EDT

Nostalgia time! We used to count our calories on the backs of takeout menus and dry cleaner coupons we left all over the house. (Our mom found this habit sooooooo charming!) We still know the caloric content of everything, to the point that we're like the food versions of those rock snobs who, say, will insist "A.M." is is Wilco's best album, in part just to be contrarian and in part because it's actually true and anyone who disagrees can borrow my iPod and listen to "Passenger Side" over and over. (Uh, so that's us too.) Example: "Vitamin water has just as many calories as Gatorade, you know." To which some frigtard will inevitably reply, "But it has less sugar," to which we will, also inevitably, stare at them with the kind of horror normal people reserve for statements like "Iraq funded 9/11." Which is all a long way of getting to the point that the government is starting to make restaurants count calories. Which we can only see as a way to get people to come with us to McDonald's! More »

Finance Roundup: We Scan The Biz Pages So As To Stop Hating Ourselves

Moe — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:06:12 EDT

Sick of celebs — of the non Money Honey neo-P. Keaton variety — yet? Good, cause it's time for finance roundup, that thing we're doing so we don't lose all our neurons to the silicon-silicone vortex. (Get that? Please?) Basically the big news today is that the Fed Chief, who is no longer Alan Greenspan so we really don't trust him, has called a recession "unlikely" despite all the bad news for the housing market, meaning you may actually be able to afford those babydoll dresses and lumberjack flannels along with your rent this time around. But probably not. Because economic health is for rich people. More »