Fashion Writer/'Gay Andy Rooney' Takes Issue with the September Issues

Apparently bored with the general laziness displayed in 2013’s September issues, New York Times fashion reporter Eric Wilson was so unimpressed he wrote an open letter to the editors of such venerable publications. As his work usually is, it’s a good read.

In his criticism, Wilson focused on the fashion magazines, which means there’s unfortunately no commentary about Cosmo‘s stunning cover choice. He did hit some other big guys though.

The Losers:

Harper’s Bazaar

Uses the phrase “biggest issue ever” on the cover.
Excessive marketing of their website ShopBazaar.com where you can buy the clothes you’re looking at.

Vogue

Uses an old photo of Novak Djokovic half-nude from 2011 (might be a plus, actually).
Layout looks like Pinterest.
On that note, there’s too much other stuff about the internet: Google Glass, Marissa Mayer, mentions of videos on Vogue.com.
Stop trying to make every editor a “street-style star”! It’s not going to happen. Or it is, but stop.

W

Gets the dubious honor of including “23 naked or almost naked” breasts.

The winners:

Elle

Covergirl Kate Upton is “awesomely normal”.
“I was having lunch at Fred’s just last week when Ms. Upton, seated at the next table, proceeded to spoon ice cubes into her glass of white wine.” STARS THEY’RE JUST LIKE US.
HOWEVER: He doesn’t love her outfit and reminds us all that when it went down the runway, we didn’t either.

“Am I starting to sound like a gay Andy Rooney?” Wilson wonders. Yes, and we love it.