Jezebel: Farts

The Art Of Public Farting

Erin Gloria Ryan — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 17:10:00 EDT

Comedians have built entire careers on it, but if it happens during a date or in front of your boss, your dignity will be decimated in a mushroom cloud of humiliation. It's flatulence, and unless you're a hilarious fat sidekick in Adam Sandler's annual attempted comeback vehicle, you're going to want to avoid doing it in front of others. Here's how. More »

Top 10 Subtle Ways To Tell Him He's Getting Flatulent

Erin Gloria Ryan — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:06:06 EDT

As every woman knows, there are some things you can't just come out and say to your significant other. More »

The Year In Mariah Carey

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 11:30:00 EST

Whether it was making a drunken acceptance speech, pretending she didn't fart on TV, or showing off the twins in her belly or the twins in her bra, Mimi has had a miraculous 2010. More »

The Video Guide To Females Farting On Film

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 14:25:00 EST

The average human farts 14 times a day, yet it's rare for women to be portrayed as gassy in pop culture. To debunk the widely-held (male) myth that "girls don't fart," we present a comprehensive reel of female fart scenes. More »

Jersey Shore Needs To Be Done With Sam & Ron

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 15:01:19 EDT

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Last night's episode was so boring. The hour crawled by as we watched an unhappy Sam tossing her hair, talking about Ron, and having a tenuous grasp on the definition of "done." I'd rather watch Angelina fart on Snooki. More »

10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:00:00 EDT

In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, we meet Snooki's parents, see Ramona Singer's booger, and hear Bret Michaels fart. More »

10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 18:00:00 EDT

In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Snooki is back on our TV sets, an evil cat tries to murder its owner, and more on scientific fart protection. More »

The Science Behind Your Special Stink Bombs

Jessica Coen — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 15:40:00 EDT

As part of Vice's ongoing commitment to service journalism, they've published an interview with a proctologist to discuss what, exactly "makes a fart." Considering our own fascination with the nuances of the gastrointestinal system, this obviously got our attention. More »

Nicole Richie Loves A Fart Joke

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:00:00 EST

Today in Tweet Beat, Nicole Richie has scents of humor, Jason Reitman is a little bit brag-y, and celebs like Kim Kardashian and Kendra Wilkinson tweet about the Super Bowl. More »

Toddlers & Tiaras: Captioning The Moments

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:40:00 EST

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On last night's episode, the director of the Southern Glitz Pageant didn't even pretend that "inner beauty" plays into the scoring of the children who competing. So with that in mind, let's judge the following by looks alone. More »

Man Seeks Farting Trader Joe's Hottie • Indonesia To Erect First Obama Statue

Katy Kelleher — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:30:00 EST

• Via BuzzFeed here is a love story for the ages: "You farted in Trader Joe's - m4w." We'd love to see what the New York Times missed connections poetry does with this one. • More »

10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 16:00:00 EDT

This week's multimedia compilation of pop culture crap features farts, F bombs, our friend Moe Tkacik, and a soap opera's homage to Grey Gardens, among things. More »

A Rose Is A Rose Is A Rose

Anna Holmes — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:40:00 EDT

Breaking: Paris Hilton's boyfriend says she "smells like roses". Possibly related: That "smells like roses" line is the same line a certain someone uses to justify farting under the covers. [NY Observer] More »

Lady Gaga: Smelt It? Or Dealt It?

Anna Holmes — Mon, 04 May 2009 09:10:00 EDT

[New York, May 2. Image via INF]

Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:30:00 EDT

"I guess women have to let go at times too but it just doesn't seem right, but if they do then it shouldn't smell or make a sound." -Dallas Cowboy Martellus Bennett. [Cowboys Insider] More »

Pflbthhhhhh!

Anna North — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 12:40:00 EST

This whoopee cushion orchestra is just one of the many ways UK charity Comic Relief is making the world a better place using fart noises. More »

Woman Faints When Eating Sandwiches • Zoo Sorry About Gorilla Farts

Maria — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:20:00 EST

• OMG: A young English woman suffers from a rare condition that causes her to faint whenever she eats a sandwich or drinks "fizzy" beverages. That's our entire diet! • More »

Other People's Farts: Don't Let Your Good Manners Suffocate You

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:00:00 EST

We typically utilize manners as a casual way to make others around us a little more comfortable. But there are certain occasions when we inexplicably feel it necessary to be polite to the point of our own discomfort. Like, when you're talking to someone, and they accidentally spit on you, and you don't wipe it off right away because, for some strange reason, it just seems rude. Meanwhile, you're unable to concentrate on what they're saying, because all you can think about is how you have someone's saliva dripping down your face. When it comes to embarrassing things like bodily functions, it seems we still haven't completely hammered out the rules of etiquette. Case in point: just last night, I was at a loss at what to do when I found myself sitting with one other person in a room that began filling up with an ungodly dense fog of stomach-turning gas - and they wasn't coming from me. More »

Hoda Kotb Loves A Good Fart Joke

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:00:00 EDT

This morning, during the fourth hour of the Today show, or as we like to call it: "The Yenta Hour with Hoda and Kathie Lee," the gals were going over their favorite headlines of the day, and Hoda lost her shit when she reported on the story of the man in West Virginia who was arrested and charged with battery after he farted and waved the stink at a cop. The best part is that Hoda's preferred colloquialism for fart is "cut one." Clip above. More »

Three words (letters?): LOL. [The Smoking...

Anna Holmes — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:20:00 EDT

Three words (letters?): LOL. [The Smoking Gun] More »

TGIFart

Maria — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:20:00 EDT

Sometimes we all just need to embrace our inner 12-year-old and giggle about the passing of intestinal gas. Therefore, the newest edition of the Farting Preacher is after the jump. "I'm just wowed enough to do what God says, that's why." More »

Tom Cruise On Oprah, Day 2: The Fart Scene In Rainman Was Totally Real

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Mon, 05 May 2008 20:00:00 EDT

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Today was the second part of Oprah's two-day extravaganza with boring, sedentary Tom Cruise. This time, Tom actually came to Oprah's studio and appeared in front of her audience, and the whole thing was just a big ego stroke, as the entire show seemed to consist of pre-taped anecdotes and congratulatory well-wishes from other actors and directors who've worked with the actor over the past 25 years. The best tidbit, though, came from Tom's Rainman costar Dustin Hoffman, who revealed that the fart scene in the phone booth was actually ad libbed, after Dustin let a real stinky one rip. Clip above. More »

The Duke Spirit Frontwoman Leila Moss Talks Flowers, Farts And Female Masturbation

Slut Machine — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:20:00 EST

Leila Moss, lead singer of British rock band The Duke Spirit, sat down with us to discuss the pros and cons of Valentine's Day and what really goes on in a tour bus. (Seriously, any girl who speaks so casually about passing gas and playing with herself will always have a special place in our hearts.) Clip above, and check out their video for their new single "The Step and The Walk" from their album Neptune, due out in April. More »

It's Never Ladylike When Little Girls Loogie

Anna Holmes — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:00:00 EST

The Today Show's Meredith Vieira hosted a segment this morning about breaking children of their "gross" and "disgusting" habits — farting, burping, belching, nose-picking, scab-scratching (have you had your breakfast yet?) — and we learned that one way to cure kids from nose picking is to dip their fingers in lemon juice. (Also: teenagers who fart on purpose should their laptops taken away from them for a week!) Honestly, the entire segment, featuring clinical psychologist Ruth Peters, was hilarious, but we were most intrigued by Peters' assertion that there's an epidemic of preschool girls who are spitting in public because they simply need attention. Clip above. More »

Celebrity Rehab: Mary Carey Engages In A Different Kind Of Butt Play

Slut Machine — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 16:40:00 EST

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Celebrity rehab is a kind of grave topic for a reality show, but leave it to porn star/former-gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey to provide the comic relief. On the first episode, her bags were searched and she had adult movies, vibrators, dildos, and a mold of her vagina confiscated (she brought that last one as a gift for someone), and, aside from the disappointment that masturbation would now be more difficult, she laughed the whole thing off. On last night's episode, Mary was goofing around with Jessica Sierra — the two were inexplicably wearing crazy-lady makeup — when she decided to fart. Loudly. This woman is clearly comfortable doing anything and everything in front of the camera. Clip above. More »

Farts Are Funny! Except, You Know, At The Gym, During Sex, Etc.

Anna Holmes — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 13:57:35 EDT

Farts are funny! In fact, just yesterday a certain Jezebel sister site passed on word (Hee hee! We said "passed") that Gawker Media contributor/blogger Slut Machine farted during sex for the first time. (Congratulations, Slut!) According to Slut Machine's blog (NSFW), she was simply doing her thing with her main man and poof: Out it came. But farts at the gym? Not so funny, we hear!

I was kicking ass on the treadmill at the gym, and was totally in the zone. It was awesome! Then, it hit my nostrils like a bee smacking the glass door. Worse even, it was one of those thick stanky rotten egg laced with some skunk clouds that you can practically taste and my mouth was open. Major disgusting! I gagged some and had to put my towel over my nose and mouth until the fart twister moved to the south.