If you can't watch porn unless you're being emotionally manipulated into it ("You'll never look at a coke can the same way again!") then Fapworthy is for you. A fun new site that pairs hardcore videos with irritating feel-good hooks? What could be more internet than that? And you know what? It's all your fault.
Yes, I am looking directly at you! You know why sites like this exist? Because your friends, your relatives and your emotionally unstable but very sweet aunt Ginger are constantly sharing links from Upworthy on their Facebook walls and threatening to defriend anyone who doesn't click! And you can't not click, because Aunt Ginger doesn't have many friends to begin with and her crocheted cats don't count. So Upworthy gets millions of clicks, spawns parody sites like Clickhole and then shoves the internet into a blazing vortex of awful by giving sites like Fapworthy a reason to exist. And I can't even be mad, because this shit is hilarious and will probably be shared by someone on your feed today. And you know what? If I read the headline "You Probably Thought You Knew the Story of Snow White. You Were Wrong," I would totally click. And then the rest of my day would be totally ruined because I am not into straight porn but totally support you if that's what you're into. Just don't click on any of the links at work...because they really do redirect to porn.
There's only way I can end this:
H/T: All my friends on Twitter!