Jezebel: Ew

Muscle Leggings Prove Fashion Is More Than Skin Deep

Madeleine Davies — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:45:00 EST

"Excuse me, miss. Miss? I'm so sorry to bother you out in public like this. I know you don't know me, but I would want to know. This is embarrassing— I'm going to come right out and say it. Your adductor muscles are showing. Don't freak out! I know how it goes. You're rushing around getting ready in the morning and somehow you forget to put on your skin. It's like losing your sunglasses or forgetting to set the alarm. In fact, it happened to me the other day, only no one was nice enough to say anything. I didn't even notice until I was leaving work and felt wind on my biceps femoris. Talk about humiliating. I mean, my boss saw me that way! My boss! Anyway, I thought I should let you know. Have a great day." More »

Make Your Own Vagina Cupcakes

Erin Gloria Ryan — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 18:30:00 EDT

Older Women Susceptible to 'Sex Parasite'

Erin Gloria Ryan — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 11:46:00 EDT

Middle aged women have it rough in today's world. Men their age start ignoring them in favor of younger women, younger men start paying attention them in hopes that they're some kind of crazy sex cat that will teach them lessons about life and love, they start relating to post-1995 Diane Keaton, and now we're discovering that many of them are infected with a sex parasite. More »

Introducing Puke Performance Art

Whitney Jefferson — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 18:55:00 EDT

Millie Brown is a performance artist from London whose art includes vomiting all over the canvas. In her piece titled "Nexus Vomitus," Brown sips on brightly-colored drinks until she sticks a finger down her throat to regurgitate "art," all while opera singers perform a cappella in the background. If there are any art critics out there, please do explain this one to us. More »

Perez Hilton To Publish Children's Book

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 17:53:00 EDT

The gossip blogger has inked a deal with Celebra Children's Books to publish The Boy with Pink Hair. To be released on September 1, the book "celebrates individuality and self-acceptance." Publisher Raymond Garcia says it's "a defining story about how believing in yourself and following your aspirations can not only bring out the best in you, but also in those around you…Perez reminds readers that by simply accepting our differences we can find the things that unite us all." The lesson here? If you make a name for yourself by making fun of other people's bodies and being an overall cruel bastard, then you can go on to teach kids about differences. At least the man who's spent so much time drawing boogers on pictures in MS Paint has finally found his perfect demo. [GalleyCat] More »

Doctor Accused Of Insemination Voyeurism

Sadie Stein — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 16:30:00 EST

An osteopath charged with "a litany of perverse transgressions" is accused of inviting staffers to watch an insemination… This, after he'd had the couple get it on in the office bathroom. More »

Gross New Mascara Makes Latisse Look Weak

Sadie Stein — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:52:00 EDT

At first glance, this is just a woman with clumpy mascara, right? Wrong! Those are fly legs, and that's artist Jessica Harrison. If your day has just been going too well, click through to the video! More »

These Condom Ads Will Haunt You (NSFW)

Sadie Stein — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:04:00 EDT

Yes, it's what you think it is. The slogan for these Belgian Durex condoms is "let the beast go." We wish we could, because now it's emblazoned on our brains, forever. (Again: NSFW means DO NOT OPEN AT WORK.) More »

Is The 2012 Olympics Logo Naughty?

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:20:00 EST

The colors were changed from the original to reveal certain shapes. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. [Buzzfeeed] More »

Ha-Ha Headline Of The Day

Katy Kelleher — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:40:00 EST

Science Now reports: "Herpes Never Sleeps." But under the funny heading comes some bad news - herpes may be much easier to transmit that previously believed. [ScienceNow] More »

The Art Of The Feel

Sadie Stein — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:50:00 EDT

[New York, September 16. Image via Getty]

T-Shits (Part 2)

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 13:30:00 EST

A T-shirt that reads "I Beat It Like Chris Brown" is available for sale. (Related: we're available for pitchfork and torch wielding!) More »

Girls Next Door: Hugh Hefner Remembers Having Sex With Model's Mom

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:00:00 EST

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The main plot point of this season's The Girls Next Door has been the search of Playboy's 55th Anniversary Playmate. On last night's episode, the prospective candidates were invited to the Mansion for a series of test shoots... including one whose mother was a Playmate in 1968. After Kendra brought the girl into Hef's study to look up her mom's centerfold in the Playboy library, things got creepy. Hef said that he remembers having sex with the centerfold and that she had a great ass, then complimented the daughter on how she looks just like her mom. Clip above. More »

A little bird sent us a link to this bizarre...

Maria — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 12:40:00 EDT

A little bird sent us a link to this bizarre instructional video about what to do if you lose your tampon inside your vagina. (Wonder why someone would send us a tip about losing tampons?). Though the video is informative and the doctor featured in the clip is endearingly goofy, the footage is a little heavy on the hands-being-stuck-in-all-kinds-of-sacks device for illustrating what it's like to get knuckle-deep in tampon extraction. [Doc Gurley] More »

George Hamilton Had Sex With His Stepmother When When He Was 12…And Loved It

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:00:00 EDT

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George Hamilton was on The View this morning to promote his autobiography Don't Mind if I Do, which is apparently somewhat of a kiss-and-tell. Barbara Walters brought up perhaps one of the most outrageous trysts he wrote about: when Hamilton was 12, he embarked on an affair with his stepmother, who was 28. Of course, it's shocking, since it was vaguely incestuous and definitely inappropriate, but when Joy Behar tried to insist that he was molested, Hamilton said, "I was molested? Damn, I'm down for it again." Evidently, he remembers the incident fondly. In fact, when he was of age, he ran into his stepmother again (at this point, his father had passed away) and slept with her again. Clip above. More »

Mother And Son Explain Why They Have Sex With Each Other

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 18:30:00 EDT

The BBC seriously has some of the best documentaries. I just viewed one called Brothers and Sisters in Love, and as the title would suggest, it's about incest. Most of the couples featured live as husband and wife. Some of them even have children together. (And some of those children have severe birth defects.) Initially, while watching, you want to cringe…or ralph. But one couple, who was by far the most "taboo", were able to explain their lust for each other really succinctly. They are a mother and a son, and she was forced to give him up for adoption when she 14. 27 years later they reconnected, and, as they explain it - they had a deep desire, that wasn't necessarily sexual - to be one. They both wanted him back inside her. They are both disguised in the clip above. More »

Ouch: A fish found its way into a teenager's...

Maria — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:20:00 EDT

Ouch: A fish found its way into a teenager's penis in India, eventually swimming up the boy's urethra into his bladder. The boy claims the fish, thought to be a small member of the Betta genus, "swam" into his penis while he was cleaning an aquarium in his home and, while holding the small fish in his hand, decided to go to the bathroom. Following the forced fish entry, the boy began developing pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention. The 2cm by 1.5cm fish was eventually removed by doctors using a rigid ureteroscope, a tool normally used for removing bladder stones. [The Sun] More »

Ad Nauseum

Jessica G. — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:20:00 EDT

Some child advocacy groups are freaking out over this French ad for Orangina because the commercial depicts "a love story between a doe and a bear, with a finale of shots of Orangina bottles exploding between the thighs of zebras and squirting on to the breasts of other animals." I watched the ad, and let me tell you, the creepiest part is that the doe has breasts. It's like a hot human lady with a deer head, and I can't believe that it represents anyone's sexual fantasy, even some pervy French dude. Anyway, apparently the Advertising Standards Agency in France has received almost 150 complaints about the ad, which was "based around the idea of 'pulpeuse', which in French means both "containing pulp" and also 'voluptuous' or 'sexy.'" Again: zebras with boobs are not sexy. [Telegraph] More »

Incest: It's Just What "Normal, Intellectual" Couples Do!

Moe — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 15:30:00 EDT

If you haven't yet heard the love story of John and Jenny Deaves, the Australian father-daughter pair that also happen to have a kid together, well...you haven't been creeped out enough today so let's get to that! John and Jenny Deaves, 61 and 39, respectively, met each other later as adults, fell in love, and ended up making eight-month-old daughter/granddaughter named Celeste. Because that is illegal, they're being watched by police, and decided to tell their story to Australian TV in a plea to just get everyone off their backs. But then it turned out that they were lying and that actually when Jenny was fifteen she went to visit her dad with one of his various ex-wives and then that marriage mysteriously fell apart, and that also, a kid they had seven years ago died of congenital heart failure. "We're normal, intellectual adults," Jenny claims on the somewhat mesmerizing video. (Hey, wonder if she read that other thing you get when you Google News search "intellectual" and "incest"!) More »

"The vagina and particularly the clitoris...

Jessica G. — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:20:00 EST

"The vagina and particularly the clitoris attract almost no attention through naming and tender touching (neither by father nor mother) and thus make it hard for girls to develop pride for their sexuality." — instructions from a German guidebook called Korper, Liebe, Doktorspiele ("Body, Love, Doctor Games"), currently causing a well-deserved uproar in Switzerland. Maybe we're prudes, but your child's clitoris should not be a known entity. [The Sun] More »

In the biggest nightmare scenario ever,...

Jessica G. — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 10:45:00 EST

In the biggest nightmare scenario ever, a pair of twins separated at birth married each other. The man and wife did not discover their shared DNA until after they were hitched. According to a Member of Parliament familiar with the case, the twins "met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation." Ugh. We feel so bad for these Flowers in the Attic, but still: Ew. [BBC News] More »

A $55 million lawsuit alleges that working...

Moe — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 16:50:20 EDT

A $55 million lawsuit alleges that working at Us Weekly is filthier than anything Courteney Cox could make up, especially if you did it when former West Coast bureau chief Ken Baker was still there, and the whole thing may actually be too tawdry for our innocent minds to process right now, but just to tease you we'll give you count 69, regarding the nanny Baker eventually hired as a stringer for the publication: 69. On or about April 2004 Plaintiffs are informed and believe and on that basis allege BAKER sent cell phone text messages to NANNY which included messages stating: "I want to have sex with you." "I'm not attracted to my wife. Come meet me in Laguna Beach, I'm working on my book. I need to see you." "I want to see you pregnant with pigtails." [Jossip] More »

New evidence uncovered by New York Magazine...

Moe — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 13:18:04 EDT

New evidence uncovered by New York Magazine from his senatorial archives suggests that it was Fred Thompson who originally put that naughty idea of sticking a cigar in that intern's vadge and smoking it. Why is it we still practically get a sympathy infection just thinking about this section of the Starr Report? Also: no one actually went out and did this, did you? Well? [NY Magazine] More »