Evil Recalled Cheese Linked to Miscarriages and Death

Listeria contamination in three kinds of Crave Brothers cheese (now recalled) has led to several hospitalizations, a miscarriage, and a fucking death. Someone died. Because of CHEESE. And not some janky hard cheese, either—a gooey, luxurious soft cheese with truffles in it. I hate this story so much.

Goddamnit, cheese. You were supposed to be our safe place.

The death was in Minnesota, while the illnesses were reported in Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

All five ill people were hospitalized, including the pregnant woman who suffered a miscarriage. They range in age from 31 to 67 years old, according to the FDA.

...All five ill people reported consuming a soft cheese. Three said they definitely or probably ate one of the recalled cheeses made by Crave Brothers before getting sick, according to officials.

Laboratory tests conducted by the Minnesota Department of Agriculture on samples of Les Frere with Truffles cheese made by Crave Brothers from two retail stores indicated the presence of the outbreak strain Listeria monocytogenes. Further testing and confirmation of the results are pending.

(Something about "Crave Brothers" gives me maximum linemouth, by the way. Like, stop telling me what to crave, brothers.)

All the condolences on earth to everyone affected by the contamination, and to everyone else, time to go Harry and the Hendersons all of your cheese. The cheese cannot be trusted. I never even wanted you in the first place, cheese. GO. GET OUT OF HERE. (Sob.)

Image via MaraZe/Shutterstock.