Everyone Was Talking About Sex On Virgin Diaries

So TLC’s one-hour special, Virgin Diaries, aired last night, and it was mesmerizing, intriguing, weird, sad and infuriating. Human beings have the right to make choices about what to do with their bodies. But man, it sure was cringe-inducingly awkward when Lisa, 30, told her blind date she was “still a virgin.” He was just some dude she’d never met before, and just trying to get to know, while a camera filmed the whole thing. Lisa: “Still a virgin!” Andrew’s eyes: “WTF SRSLY I FEEL SET UP.” On the one hand, she is to be commended for staying true to herself and informing guys about her expectations and desires up front. But, on the other hand, Lisa and her friends — one a virgin and the other a “reclaimed virgin” — have placed so much importance on sex that it literally defines them. It’s such a conversation-halter that the other important stuff — her sense of humor, her kindness, her non-relationship-oriented hopes and desires — might get overshadowed.

Also, it’s worrisome that Lisa and her friends — one of whom stated, “I’m expecting to have an orgasm on my wedding night” — may have unrealistic expectations about sex. By placing so much importance on it, and talking dreamily about fictitious men like “Mr. Right” and “My Rock Star,” aren’t they setting themselves up for failure? How can reality ever match a fantasy built on a fantasy? Humans learn by experimenting, by trial and error, and adjusting needs and expectations accordingly. But without that experience and experimenting, these women are basing expectations on imaginary factors or romcom scenes, which seems like a disaster in the making. It’s strange, but in away, it seems like these folks think about sex more than someone who’s always sleeping around.

The virgin triple date felt like a TLC set-up. But perhaps I will be proven wrong, and Lisa and Noah will be each other’s dreams come true.

Another awkward first date: Carey, who likes cats and fudge. His date guessed that he was a virgin when he sent a giant hint. Sigh. “I got hammered in college.” Hammered, but not banged. Carey seemed really sweet and sensitive and like he would be a really good boyfriend to someone. When some drunk lady licked his head and tried to get him to have a one-night stand with him, he did the right thing by turning her down, and rightly stated, “I can be picky.”

Lastly, awkward kissers Shanna and Ryan consummated their marriage, but not before Shanna had some kind of full-on emotional breakdown. The pressure of wedding is a lot, but throw in a first kiss, a first intercourse and a camera crew? Yikes. (After their honeymoon night, when asked how things went, Shanna admitted it was painful, it hurt — but said that it was “beautiful.”)