The trailer for an upcoming propaganda film about how misunderstood Chris Brown is entitled Welcome to My Life has been released, and it’s two and a half minutes of carefully edited footage that will probably do wonders convincing you not to see Welcome to My Life.

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After chronicling his rise via several interviews with celebrities (convicted rapist Mike Tyson is shown saying, “The more liked we get, the more we have to hide our demons”), family members, and Brown himself, we see footage from news reports of the infamous 2009 fight during which Rihanna, Brown’s girlfriend at the time, was beaten.

Brown then addresses the audience.

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“If there was ever a doubt in your mind that Chris Brown was done, that he was finished...I wouldn’t bet on it.”

After a brief montage of Brown’s live performances set to the kind of operatic vocals more commonly heard in trailers for big-budget action movies, it cuts to black, and we close the tab forever.

Below is a complete list of descriptions for the singer found in the trailer:

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  • One of the biggest stars in the world
  • A legend, almost
  • Young
  • Truly gifted
  • Talented in a way we haven’t seen in a long time
  • The next superstar ª
  • He has his finger on the pulse of the sound
  • On top of the world
  • America’s sweetheart
  • Public enemy #1*
  • Grammy Award Nominee
  • A fucking monster*

* denotes descriptions spoken by Chris Brown / ª denotes aspirational descriptions

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As a bonus, these are four descriptions of Rihanna and Chris Brown, when they were still a couple:

  • Magical
  • Inseparable
  • Like real-life rockstars
  • A fairytale