It's time for the 86th Annual Academy Awards! The red carpet has been rolled out, the ManiCam has been cloyingly placed in some corner and large swaths of the American populace are gathered around their television screens in order to watch beautiful well-dressed people looking very beautiful and well-dressed while Ryan Seacrest asks them inane questions about the weather.
Here are the arrivals (I'll be updating as more well-dressed people arrive):
The first arrival: a triad of Oscars statues, wearing fresh-off-the-runway Gareth Pugh.
Dazzling in white and beige: Kelly Osbourne in a very elegant Badgely Mischka dress; Giuliana Rancic looking ethereal in an ornate Paolo Sebastian gown; Tara Lipinksi opting for v. traditional red carpet glamor.
Rachel Smith is wearing an amazing black dress with a ruffly mermaid skirt; Shaun Robinson looks stunning in slinky, bold red; Maria Menounos channels her inner goddess in a breathtaking embroidered gown.
Nancy O'Dell arrived covered in sequins; Ireland Baldwin is wearing fairly boring lace oxblood dress by Burberry Prorsum; Louise Roe's draped forest green dress is a bit too toga-esque for my liking, but very sexy Ent-core, which I am into.
This picture of Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski is an early frontrunner Best Picture.
LOOK AT JONNY WEIR'S SHOES. LOOK AT THEM.
Viola Davis is wearing emerald Escada, and she looks perfect.
Olivia Wilde looks extremely radiant and very pregnant in an elegant Valentino gown, with fiance Jason Sudeikis.
Kristin Chenoweth opted for a beautiful, art deco number; Portia De Rossi is wearing a lovely honeycomb-beaded Naeem Khan gown; Kristen Bell looks stunning in a fitted corset dress.
Amy Adams looks flawless in an understated, elegant Gucci dress. Seriously, DAMN.
WE HAVE LUPITA NYONG'O, PEOPLE! Most everyone assumed that she'd be the best dressed human in the world tonight, and she really surpassed our very high expectations. She's wearing custom Prada, and she says she chose the color because it reminds her of Nairobi. She looks like an actual princess.
Julie Delpy looks like she stepped out of a Mucha painting; Lara Dern, like almost half of the women in attendance, went for a frothy white dress with a structured top; Anna Kendrick chose to go darker than usual in J. Mendel.
Naomi Watts is wearing Calvin Klein collection; she looks like the most elegant snow queen to ever walk the earth.
Jared Leto wore a white jacket and a bow tie; sadly, he did not put his hair in a formal man bun.
Looking beautiful in embroidered gowns, we have Alfre Woodard in a navy dress with a plunging v-neck; June Squibb in custom Tadashi Shoji; Bette Midler in an amazing nude gown with red detailing.
Cate Blanchett is wearing a nude Armani gown covered in bead-and-sequin paillettes; it's not my favorite thing she's ever worn, but that's probably because she always looks absolutely perfect, which is a tough standard to abide by.
This is definitely one of the best looks of the night: Charlize Theron in Dior.
Kerry Washington is a vision Jason Wu. The color is glorious, as is the fit and fabric.
Jennifer Lawrence reprises her greatest hits (Dior! Red! Simple yet striking!) and then adds a peplum and a statement necklace, 'cause why not.
Anne Hathaway looks great in a glittery, lil-bit-edgy Gucci dress.
Champagne and sheer: Sarah Paulson in Elie Saab, Jenna Dewan Tatum in a beaded top with a frothy ruffled skirt; Kate Hudson in one of the most beautiful cape-dresses I have beheld in my life.
Jessica Biel dazzled in Chanel; Julia Roberts looks a bit witchy in a black gown (which is apparently a BIG RED CARPET RISK, as I learned from E!'s coverage); Emma Watson continues to be effortlessly endlessly cool.
Pretty in pink: Jada Pinkett in Versace (with husband Will Smith); Penelope Cruz in flowing rose; Gabourey Sidibe is amazing in magenta.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie rolled up at the very last minute and they look so beautiful that it literally made my heart hurt a little. Angelina is wearing Elie Saab couture.
Lady Gaga was there, wearing Versace and looking like a futuristic empress.
Sandra Bullock is wearing a breathtaking Alexander McQueen gown, in navy. Her hair looks like a beautiful brown river cascading down from the heavens above.
PHARRELL WORE FORMAL SHORTS.
Here's a bonus photo of Lupita.
Images via Getty.