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A few years ago I was writing a story on something called mark-to-market accounting. (No I promise! I'm going somewhere here!) The way mark-to-market worked with this one Enron division is roughly: they'd send salesfolks across the country promising big companies it would save them lots of money if they agreed to let Enron pay their energy bills for a set period of time. As an incentive to sign up, Enron wrote big checks to the companies for the privilege. Now, this division lost shitloads of money, but it didn't matter because when they needed to raise more cash from shareholders they would just prove they were profitable by using "mark-to-market" accounting, whereby they would book the year's portion of the profits they imagined they'd be making over the horizon of the contract. Of course, they had no fucking clue what these profits (or losses) would be. So they made them up! Pulled them out of asses and projections so rosy you couldn't even call them delusional. Anyway, I'm telling you this story not because mark-to-market accounting is currently being blamed for our present financial crisis — I mean, you know, as if — but because it gets back to this conversation I had at a bar the other night where a somewhat miscellaneous Lower East Side sleaze was trying to pick me up. A friend of mine was at right, fielding a flurry of amorous text messages. More »
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• The latest YouTube sensation: Serbs in white jeans go on a shoplifting spree in heroic protest of Kosovar independence! It is like the "Chocolate Rain" of crappy people. They don't even seem drunk. Just greedy! (Video after jump)
• The cameraman told to "Get lost" by the girl so bogged down in stolen shit she can barely walk gets my I Want To Have His Babies Award for his response... [Reuters]
• The McCain sex scandal is dumb and now the New York Times has to do more damage control than Mr. Inappropriation himself. [NYT]
• But something happy came of it: "Stray Cock Express." [Alternet]

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• Shamed and fired former Grey's Anatomy cast member/homophobe Isaiah Washington tells the media he is getting by post-ousting by staying focused on his "day-to-day" life. And somewhere in prison Paris Hilton gets to call "First World Problems" for the very first time in her life. [People.com]

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