End Times: Nutella Shortage and Trader Joe's Almond Butter Recall

Grab your spoons in terror because your delicious spreads are in danger. Danger! From Trader Joe’s recalling their almond butter to Nutella maybe running out of hazelnuts, shit is getting real in the world of toast and late night snacks.

On Tuesday, Trader Joe’s announced that two of their recent batches of raw crunchy unsalted almond butter and raw creamy unsalted almond butter might have salmonella. Who knows! But just in case, they told customers on their website not to eat these products and bring the jars back to the store for a full refund. Isn’t that nice? They also apologized for the inconvenience of whatever crazy bacteria they may or may not have given you if you are or are not on the toilet right now. But can that apology include a complimentary grocery delivery service? I mean ...

Elsewhere, the hazelnuts and palm oil used to make Nutella, a beloved false healthy snack, are simultaneously drying up while in demand. In Turkey, where the chocolate spread company sources its hazelnuts, according to the Washington Post, bad weather is driving up the price — and a similar situation is befalling palm oil. The palm oil is made in Malaysia, where crappy weather is having a bad impact just as the product's popularity soars. What does this mean for OGs in the spread-enthusiast community? Struggle snacking.


To be fair, there was a lime shortage earlier this summer and now you can find them in the market at about 1,000 for $3. So hang in there Nutella and almond butter fans. This too shall pass — probably.

Image via Nutella.