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When 64-year-old Linda Szczepanski was arrested for drunk driving last week, she had some advice for the officer involved. She told him he "should not be messing with little old ladies and senior citizens," and that instead, the police should "start arresting some pedophiles" and "get rid of the Mexicans." Her blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit, but, you know, in vino veritas, right? Anyway, The Smoking Gun has filed this one under "Things Not To Say (Or Admit) To A Law Enforcement Agent." Noted. More »
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A councilman in Huntington Beach, California wants to start posting the mug shots of everyone who's arrested more than once for DUI on Facebook. Though they are undeterred by fines, jail, and endangering lives, this will definitely do the trick. More »
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After Taylor Cole Vanderhook, who's charged with DUI, drove into a Delaware canal, Chris Sullivan dove in and broke her windshield, saving her from the sinking car. Her response: "Dude, I'm gonna kill you — you broke my car." More »
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• Cameras and recording devices have been banned from all of Sarah Palin's book tour appearances, but a spokesman announced people can pose with her and buy a copy later online for $15 and up. • More »
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Lindsay Lohan was in court today, after a probation report found she failed to comply to attend alcohol counseling since her 2007 DUI. Sad! But you know what's not sad? Making up courtroom jokes. More »
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Girls made up 24.3% of DUIs among California teens in 2007, up from 16.8% in 1998. "Males are still the major knuckleheads," says a safety official, "but females for some reason seem to be trying to catch them." [Sacramento Bee] More »
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• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

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A thrifty woman was arrested three times in twenty-four hours because she didn't want to let her box of wine go to waste. She only bought a bottle after the cops took the box. [CBS] More »
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On last night's premiere of Keeping up with the Kardashians, Khloe was sentenced to 30 days in jail for violating probation after ditching some DUI classes to go to Australia. More »
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This weekend, after Indiana state police arrested a 24-year-old mother for driving drunk while her 1-year-old son was in the car, all three relatives who came to pick up the boy were discovered to be drunk as well. The child's father was called first, but police found that he was intoxicated and arrested him for drunk driving. Police then called the grandparents, who had also been drinking. The grandmother was under the legal limit so she was allowed to take the child, but, not surprisingly she was escorted home by police. [CBS News] More »
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More LaBeoufWatch: Now you can own a piece of debris from his headline-making car crash! Like all magical things, this piece of celebrity memorabilia is for sale on eBay (current bid $158.00, there is no God). • Hm, we wonder how the Hiltons feel about the $4,600 they donated to John McCain's campaign last year being used to vilify their daughter for commercials against Obama?• Oh! Here is the "first listen" for the New Kids on the Block and Ne-Yo single that is to be released on August 12th. Kinda meh. [Perez Hilton, TMZ, People] More »
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In an unfortunately timed cover story, Shia LaBeouf discusses his issues with booze in an upcoming issue of Details (the interview took place before his DUI arrest this past weekend, of course). Shia says that prior to his arrest last fall for trespassing at a Chicago Walgreens, he used to regularly smoke and drink with his dad, a former heroin junkie who lives in Shia's garage. "We would drink together and smoke together, and it's just a bad deal. It's not something that is conducive to being a role model—no iconic actors that I know of have problems like that. And I don't know how to do it like a gentleman. I don't know how to have one drink." • Singer/producer/serial starlet-dater Cisco Adler told People this weekend, "I like smart women. I don't always find them, but I like them." That's pretty obvious from his former girlfriend roster, known brains Mischa Barton, Lauren Conrad, Kimberley Stewart, & Paris Hilton. [DListed, People] More »
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Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland began serving an 8-day sentence for a recent DUI today in Los Angeles. Like Lohan and Richie before him, he may not end up incarcerated for the entire eight days. • Apparently Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes lurve Gossip Girl! They went over to GG star Chase Crawford at the MET's Costume Institute Gala and pelted him with compliments. • Nekkid photos of Megan Fox from the Diablo Cody-penned Jennifer's Body have been leaked, and you can check 'em out here (link NSFW). The early buzz on the film is fantastic, according to CHUD. Hooray for boobies and positive buzz! [ TMZ, Dlisted, CHUD] More »
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Tabloid staple and oil heir Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis was formally charged by the L.A. district attorney's office with felony possession of a controlled substance and misdemeanor driving under the influence, says TMZ. The controlled substance in question? Heroin. • The L.A. D.A.'s office was up to their elbows in heirs today: Barron Hilton was also formally charged with a DUI, unlawful use of a license and driving without a license. • Brooke Burke and David Charvet had a baby boy yesterday. Can't wait to see what they name him, as Brooke's other kiddies are Neriah, 7, Sierra, 5, and Rain, 1. [TMZ, Us, People] More »
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Meet Donna Sturkie-Anthony: A former high school homecoming queen who is now in her early 40s and is more gangsta than you could ever imagine. Currently in jail after an alleged incident in which she beat her sister with a prosthetic leg, Donna has a reputation in her town of North Huntington, PA for being a rowdy, violent drunk. She's been arrested over a half-dozen times since 1991, and one of those times — a DUI — she was so drunk that she smeared her feces in the back of a police car. Last month, Donna's sister visited her trailer to discuss her drinking problem and Donna became so enraged that she pulled off her sister's prosthetic leg and beat her with it. After that, she stole her neighbors' phone and threatened to burn their trailer down if they testified against her. But wait, it gets better! More »
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Skinny bitch Mischa Barton is now a skinny, drugged-out bitch. TMZ is reporting that Barton was pulled over for a DUI in Los Angeles at 3 a.m. this morning, at which point she was all charged with narcotics possession [Oooh, what kind? -Ed.] and driving with an expired license. Maybe she used her one phone call to reach out to Lindsay Lohan for advice? [TMZ] More »
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]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=321782&view=rss&microfeed=true The first segment of Nicole Richie's much anticipated interview with Diane Sawyer aired on Good Morning America today. Yeah, yeah, we know, she's pregnant, she's taking responsibility for her DUI, she feels bad, blah, blah, blah. The new stuff we learned is that Joel and Nicole (hey, their names rhyme!) are making video diaries for their unborn child. Do we smell a Chaotic type of reality series coming on? Oh, and she took Vicodin to soothe her menstrual cramps. Who knew she had enough body fat to get her period? Basically, Nicole came off as well-spoken, but just because she's not retarded, it doesn't mean she's smart. (Bitch didn't know that smoking weed and taking painkillers could impair judgment!) We sort of can't get over the fact that she thinks child-rearing is the next logical step in her life. More »
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For the past few days, I've been in pursuit of the accessory of the summer—a SCRAM ankle bracelet. My aim was to test the thing out, push its limits, see how much I could tamper with it without getting caught, and most importantly, find out just how trashed I could get while wearing it. Yesterday I was on the horn with Kathleen Brown the PR person for Alcohol Monitoring Systems, which manufactures the SCRAM (which stands for "secure continuous remote alcohol monitor").My dreams were dashed when Ms. Brown explained to me that because of "legal issues", I wouldn't be able to perform a demo on the trendy product, because I'd be purposefully getting wasted, and the company feared that I might "hurt" myself or others. More »
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• Tori Spelling has become a minister. Proving what we have been telling y'all for round about a week now: God is dead. [USA Today]

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