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		<title><![CDATA[Jezebel: Drunks]]></title>
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			<title><![CDATA[Dude Punches Lady In Face Over Casey Anthony Verdict]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read Dude Punches Lady In Face Over Casey Anthony Verdict" href="http://jezebel.com/florida/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">florida</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read Dude Punches Lady In Face Over Casey Anthony Verdict" href="http://jezebel.com/5820057/dude-punches-lady-in-face-over-casey-anthony-verdict" class="pp_image">
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				Robert Aydin Hakimoglu, 42, got in a fight Saturday night while discussing the Casey Anthony trial with some folks in Melbourne Beach, Florida. Hakimoglu, who agrees with the verdict, got so fired up while arguing with a group of people fishing that he <a href="http://www.floridatoday.com/article/20110711/NEWS01/107110305/Argument-over-Casey-Anthony-verdict-lands-Melbourne-Beach-man-jail">punched</a> a woman in the face and then jumped into a lagoon to get away from cops.				<a href="http://jezebel.com/5820057/dude-punches-lady-in-face-over-casey-anthony-verdict" title="Click here to read more about Dude Punches Lady In Face Over Casey Anthony Verdict">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<category><![CDATA[Florida]]></category>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 11 Jul 2011 19:10:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Dodai Stewart]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Science Explains Why You're Undaunted By Killer Hangovers]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read Science Explains Why You're Undaunted By Killer Hangovers" href="http://jezebel.com/brain-vs-liver/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">brainvsliver</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read Science Explains Why You're Undaunted By Killer Hangovers" href="http://jezebel.com/5819746/science-explains-why-youre-undaunted-by-killer-hangovers" class="pp_image">
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				The next time you wake up smelling like a bar tray and feeling like you've spent the previous several hours inside the spin cycle of a washing machine, blame your brain.				<a href="http://jezebel.com/5819746/science-explains-why-youre-undaunted-by-killer-hangovers" title="Click here to read more about Science Explains Why You're Undaunted By Killer Hangovers">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 10 Jul 2011 11:33:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Erin Gloria Ryan]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Tip: When Being Arrested, Don't Try To Tell Cops To Arrest Someone Else Instead]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read Tip: When Being Arrested, Don't Try To Tell Cops To Arrest Someone Else Instead" href="http://jezebel.com/crime/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">crime</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read Tip: When Being Arrested, Don't Try To Tell Cops To Arrest Someone Else Instead" href="http://jezebel.com/5792561/tip-when-being-arrested-dont-try-to-tell-cops-to-arrest-someone-else-instead" class="pp_image">
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				When 64-year-old Linda Szczepanski was arrested for drunk driving last week, she had some advice for the officer involved. She told him he "should not be messing with little old ladies and senior citizens," and that instead, the police should "start arresting some pedophiles" and "get rid of the Mexicans." Her blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit, but, you know, in vino veritas, right? Anyway, The Smoking Gun has filed this one   <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/pedophiles-mexicans-906213">under</a> "Things Not To Say (Or Admit) To A Law Enforcement Agent." Noted.				<a href="http://jezebel.com/5792561/tip-when-being-arrested-dont-try-to-tell-cops-to-arrest-someone-else-instead" title="Click here to read more about Tip: When Being Arrested, Don't Try To Tell Cops To Arrest Someone Else Instead">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 15 Apr 2011 16:46:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Dodai Stewart]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Knife-Wielding Woman Orders Husband To Perform Cunnilingus]]></title>
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				Melissa Lee Williams of West Virginia is facing assault and weapons charges after she showed up at her estranged husband's door with a knife and demanded of him and another man: "Eat my pussy."				<a href="http://jezebel.com/5682569/knife+wielding-woman-orders-husband-to-perform-cunnilingus" title="Click here to read more about Knife-Wielding Woman Orders Husband To Perform Cunnilingus">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 05 Nov 2010 12:34:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Dodai Stewart]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Mad Men: One Man's Bender Is Another Man's Opportunity]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read &lt;i&gt;Mad Men&lt;/i&gt;: One Man's Bender Is Another Man's Opportunity" href="http://jezebel.com/madness/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">madness</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read &lt;i&gt;Mad Men&lt;/i&gt;: One Man's Bender Is Another Man's Opportunity" href="http://jezebel.com/5625724/mad-men-one-mans-bender-is-another-mans-opportunity" class="pp_image">
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				Liquor has always been prominent on this show&mdash;especially this season with Don's dizzying spiral into full-blown alcoholism&mdash;but on last night's episode, we learned that while booze might be his downfall, it also was part of his success.				<a href="http://jezebel.com/5625724/mad-men-one-mans-bender-is-another-mans-opportunity" title="Click here to read more about Mad Men: One Man's Bender Is Another Man's Opportunity">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 30 Aug 2010 16:37:25 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tracie Egan Morrissey]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Girl After Our Own Drunken, Period-Sexed Hearts Crashes Tyra]]></title>
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				A bunch of "party girls" went on <em>Tyra</em> to talk about their heavy drinking and late nights out, but Tyra turned it into a therapy session of rehab, with counseling from Dr. Drew and reformed porn star Mary Carey, acting as sponsor. We were supposed to view the three party girls as having serious problems, but one girl, Shay, seemed so upbeat and good natured and <em>young</em> that we're thinking that she's not so much an addict, but just someone who's a lot of fun and making mistakes in her youth. (Or maybe it's just that she particularly spoke to us, because she unapologetically divulged stories about getting totally shit faced, sleeping around, and <a href="http://jezebel.com/gossip/the-crimson-tide/period-sex-a-do-or-a-dont-282480.php">having period sex</a> but <a href="http://jezebel.com/388226/ten-days-in-the-life-of-a-tampon">forgetting that a tampon</a> is in there.)				<a href="http://jezebel.com/388680/girl-after-our-own-drunken-period+sexed-hearts-crashes-tyra" title="Click here to read more about Girl After Our Own Drunken, Period-Sexed Hearts Crashes Tyra">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 08 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tracie Egan Morrissey]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Sexually-Inexperienced Seal Tries To Bone Penguin • UK Reports 50% More Female Drunks]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read Sexually-Inexperienced Seal Tries To Bone Penguin • UK Reports 50% More Female Drunks" href="http://jezebel.com/leftovers/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">leftovers</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read Sexually-Inexperienced Seal Tries To Bone Penguin • UK Reports 50% More Female Drunks" href="http://jezebel.com/386763/sexually+inexperienced-seal-tries-to-bone-penguin--uk-reports-50-more-female-drunks" class="pp_image">
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				A "frustrated, sexually inexperienced" young male seal tries to <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7379554.stm">have sex</a> with a penguin.• Older Japanese singles are trying out that whole <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/inDepthNews/idUST24900320080502?feedType=RSS&feedName=inDepthNews">online dating</a> thing. • A 51-year-old man admits to <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/05/01/national/main4063937.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._4063937">using voodoo</a> to seduce teen girls. • Two women make history, win <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24429495/">second-"highest" medical prize</a>. • PETA asks <a href="http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/peta-asking-hollywood-to-whistleblow/">Hollywood insiders</a> to whistleblow on animal cruelty on sets. • The <a href="http://www.usnews.com/blogs/the-home-front/2008/5/2/sleepless-in-seattle-houseboat-for-sale.html">houseboat</a> from <i>Sleepless in Seattle</i> is on the market for $2.5 million! • British police report the number of female drunks being arrested <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2008/may/02/ukcrime.drugsandalcohol?gusrc=rss&feed=society">has gone up 50% </a> over the past five years. • Ancient androgynous pharaoh, Akhenaten, may have had <a href="http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/F/FEMININE_PHARAOH?SITE=VASTR&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT">genetic mutation</a> that made him look feminine. • Colleges are allowing <a href="http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/COED_DORM_ROOMS?SITE=VTBRA&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT">coed dorm rooms</a>. • Men's activists complain about <i><a href="http://www.usnews.com/blogs/on-men/2008/5/2/bad-dads-reality-tv-show-stirs-controversy.html">Bad Dads</a></i> ambush reality TV show. 				<a href="http://jezebel.com/386763/sexually+inexperienced-seal-tries-to-bone-penguin--uk-reports-50-more-female-drunks" title="Click here to read more about Sexually-Inexperienced Seal Tries To Bone Penguin • UK Reports 50% More Female Drunks">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 02 May 2008 17:20:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[maria]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Did Hillary's Appearance On O'Reilly Actually Make Me Like Her More?]]></title>
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				Fox is the only news channel that gets any audio on my cable box. This is something, like the interminable nature of this campaign, I generally regard as a negative. But yesterday I had a revelation. See, Hillary Clinton just <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/02/business/media/02fox-1.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=clinton+fox+news&st=nyt&oref=slogin">went on Bill O'Reilly</a>, and when they aren't rerunning clips of the <em>really boring</em> interview, the Fox News talking heads are creaming their pants over how well she's held up, what a "fighter" she is, etc. And it hit me: has Hillary Clinton's stubborn refusal to drop out maybe been <em>good</em> for America? All the phony, cynical and self-serving praise she's had heaped upon her pantsuited self from Rush and Ann and the<em> Weekly Standard</em> and the "Fair And Balanced" regime has started, ever so gradually, to convert into something genuine: respect. Anyway, <a href="http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080502/OPINION08/805020400/1291/OPINION08">The Indianapolis Star</a> just endorsed Hillary, a Baptist minister got ushered out by Secret Service for asking John McCain if he really called his wife a "cunt", and Barack Obama drank shit beer at a VFW and the whole thing has lasted so long it's starting to feel like <em>life itself</em>, and <a href="http://www.glamour.com/news/blogs/glamocracy">Megan</a> and I decided to look at it on the beer-glass half-<em>full</em> side today. 				<a href="http://jezebel.com/386535/did-hillarys-appearance-on-oreilly-actually-make-me-like-her-more" title="Click here to read more about Did Hillary's Appearance On O'Reilly Actually Make Me Like Her More?">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 02 May 2008 10:30:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Moe]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Bad Girls Club Was A Crazy Call And Response]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read &lt;i&gt;Bad Girls Club&lt;/i&gt; Was A Crazy Call And Response" href="http://jezebel.com/clips/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">clips</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read &lt;i&gt;Bad Girls Club&lt;/i&gt; Was A Crazy Call And Response" href="http://jezebel.com/377777/bad-girls-club-was-a-crazy-call-and-response" class="pp_image">
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				There's really no point to the Oxygen series <em>Bad Girls Club</em>, other than straight-up voyeurism of straight-up assholes, yet it's still riveting. Last night's episode was an example of that, because all that happened in the show's 22 minutes was that Cordelia (the former porn chick) got shit-faced and then screamed a bunch of crazy shit, which prompted her roommates to yell a bunch of crazy shit back at her. Some examples: "I've had plastic surgery, too!" "I had a threesome!" "I had an abusive ex-boyfriend and my dad's a crackhead!" Clip above.				<a href="http://jezebel.com/377777/bad-girls-club-was-a-crazy-call-and-response" title="Click here to read more about Bad Girls Club Was A Crazy Call And Response">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:00:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tracie Egan Morrissey]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Amy Winehouse Bombs In Birmingham (Live On Camera)]]></title>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 15 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EST]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tracie Egan Morrissey]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Celebrity Rehab: The Only "Promise" Is Lindsay Will Remain A Coke-Addled Lush Who Can't Drive]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read Celebrity Rehab: The Only &quot;Promise&quot; Is Lindsay Will Remain A Coke-Addled Lush Who Can't Drive" href="http://jezebel.com/rich-%26-rehabulous/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">richrehabulous</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read Celebrity Rehab: The Only &quot;Promise&quot; Is Lindsay Will Remain A Coke-Addled Lush Who Can't Drive" href="http://jezebel.com/308875/celebrity-rehab-the-only-promise-is-lindsay-will-remain-a-coke+addled-lush-who-cant-drive" class="pp_image">
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				Call me naive; I always figured that, profligacy/paparazzi/presence of other addicted photogenic celebs aside, Lindsay was on balance better off <em>in</em> rehab than at, you know, Hyde. Really, what was I thinking? There is no crop of people more price-insensitive than a bunch of people used to watching a few grand disappear inside their nostrils every day, which is why the sliding scale for rehab in  Malibu ranges from the ghetto no-frills cost of $15,000 a month to practically 70 grand a month at Passages, and not that I really give a shit about the exploitation and mistreatment of celebrities but I would like a little variety in my TMZ news cycle and today's <em>LA Times</em> <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-rehab9oct09,0,5556868,full.story?coll=la-home-local">investigation</a>  into Promises etc. actually managed to piss me off: there aren't even any fucking <em>doctors</em> working at these places!				<a href="http://jezebel.com/308875/celebrity-rehab-the-only-promise-is-lindsay-will-remain-a-coke+addled-lush-who-cant-drive" title="Click here to read more about Celebrity Rehab: The Only "Promise" Is Lindsay Will Remain A Coke-Addled Lush Who Can't Drive">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 09 Oct 2007 16:00:25 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Moe]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Smirnoff Source, The Official Beverage Of Summer 2007]]></title>
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										<!--  div style="background-color: #B3B3B3; width: 190px; padding: 1px;"><a title="Click here to read Smirnoff Source, The Official Beverage Of Summer 2007" href="http://jezebel.com/intoxicants-of-the-rich-and-rehabulous/" style="background-color:#888888; color:#FFFFFF; font-size:12px;text-align:right; display:block; height:14px; padding:1px 2px; text-decoration:none; text-transform:uppercase; width:156px;"><span style="color: white;" class="hash">#</span><span style="color: white;">intoxicantsoftherichandrehabulous</span></a></div -->					<div><a title="Click here to read Smirnoff Source, The Official Beverage Of Summer 2007" href="http://jezebel.com/272451/smirnoff-source-the-official-beverage-of-summer-2007" class="pp_image">
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				Yesterday we read about Paula Abdul <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/r_m/2007/06/25/2007-06-25_goodbye_norma_green.html">drinking</a> a form of alcoholic water at a party. We expect that most of the "water" Paula drinks is alcoholic, but this was different: a spring water with 3.5% alcohol content called Smirnoff Source. Just in time for Lindsay's 21st!  A "water" for people who are, you know, "sober"! A Google search revealed that the Source was swilled by none other than <a href="http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/070613/20070613006076.html?.v=1">Samantha Ronson and Anna Kournikova</a> &mdash; beloved by winos AND anas alike! &mdash; and that it was somehow, like everything else consumed by Hollywood these days, "green." The only other thing we needed to know was how to get a case sent over to the house as quickly as possible! So we IM-ed intern Cheryl. Who, as it turned out, was <em>familiar</em> with Smirnoff Source already, because when liquor companies launch new beverages she is the sort of drunk who sets trends among other drunks. Her verdict: "It's what you drink when you're done with your 'real' drinks." Like Maker's Mark, you mean? After the jump, her review.				<a href="http://jezebel.com/272451/smirnoff-source-the-official-beverage-of-summer-2007" title="Click here to read more about Smirnoff Source, The Official Beverage Of Summer 2007">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 26 Jun 2007 16:04:49 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Moe]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[Amy Winehouse Onscreen Not So Different Than Amy Winehouse Offscreen]]></title>
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Since losing all that weight and gaining all that back-comb, Amy Winehouse has been looking like a cracked-out whore&mdash;and now she's playing one on cable TV! Thanks to photographer/film director David LaChappelle, who directed Winehouse's latest video, "These Tears Dry on Their Own" (probably the best single from <em>Back to Black</em>), we get to see what it would be like if Amy were a hooker on Hollywood Boulevard. (Spoiler alert: It's sorta the same as her regular life!) The upswing, though, is that every single extra in the video is sinfully ugly, which comparatively makes Amy look kinda pretty. &mdash;<a href="http://onedatatime.typepad.com"><em>Slut Machine</em></a>				<a href="http://jezebel.com/272382/amy-winehouse-onscreen-not-so-different-than-amy-winehouse-offscreen" title="Click here to read more about Amy Winehouse Onscreen Not So Different Than Amy Winehouse Offscreen">More&nbsp;&raquo;</a>
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			<pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:07:59 EDT]]></pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tracie Egan Morrissey]]></dc:creator>
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